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  1. Today
  2. I've been spending a lot of time recently observing how people react to conflict and other situations of tension. And I'm starting to see how carrying a certain perspective can either make or break your spirituality. Whether this perspective taking is developed through bhagti or whether you need to develop this perspective to do bhagti is beyond me (like what came first, the chicken or the egg?). But I've summarized it into a few different categories. Disclaimer: this is not a complete list and is solely based on where my current understanding of the world sits. I'm just sharing what my current perspective on human behaviour is. 1. Complete duality - During this stage, a seeker has absolutely zero perspective taking ability. Does not understand that the other person has distinct thoughts and feelings. The focus is solely on the actions of the other individual. Children often express this at the earliest stage of their development. As for adults, they may have developed and have a higher understanding, but the veil of ego is so deep that they do not understand the views of the other. During this phase, a person is susceptible to the most amount of conflict and/or hurt feelings. I feel like this is where people often sit when they start fights, lash out, throw chairs and get malicious... or are in a lot of emotional pain and grief by the actions of others. "I am completely separate from this person. This other person is angry. This person yells at me and makes me feel sad. This is a bad individual... etc". 2. Partial understanding - At this stage, the seeker understands that others have their own thoughts and feelings. Other people act according to their own thoughts and feelings. But the seeker still may not realize that those thoughts and feelings may be fuelled by an underlying set of desires or goals. This seems to often lead to people holding grudges, not communicating, pushing people they don't like away but the emotional pain from the actions of others is reduced. ie "This person is mad whenever I do not take off my shoes when I enter the house. These actions make them angry. And then they yell at me". 3. The beginning of perspective taking - At this stage, the seeker starts to understand that others have goals and desires that differ from them. People act according to those goals and desires. At this stage, a seeker would recognize that other people are angry for a specific reason. And they may work on avoiding the things that make that person feel a certain way. ie "This individual wants to keep their floor clean because their desire is to have a clean house. Therefore, if someone dirties their house, they get angry. I should take off my shoes whenever I enter their house so the floor does not get dirty". But the seeker may still react negatively if their is confrontation for a mistake on their behalf. ie If the seeker accidentally walks into the house with their shoes on, instead of apologizing, they may still work to protect their own ego and possibly still lash out in a negative manner". 4. A deeper sense of perspective taking - At this point the seeker begins to understand that other people's thoughts, goals and desires are influenced by a variety of factors. This may include cultural, societal and other norms. The seeker understand that people are heavily influenced by their upbringing and the seeker begins to put themself in the shoes of the other. And realize if they had been in that persons shoes, they may feel the same way. And this is where I see empathy *begins* to develop. And there is remorse for certain actions taken on behalf of the seeker. ie "If I also had the desire to keep my house clean and someone dirtied it, I would also feel angry." And instead of lashing out, there is remorse and a seeker would rather apologize for something accidental, instead of protecting their own ego. 5. Complete perspective taking - By complete, I don't mean this is the final point. I think the understanding of differing perspectives is infinite. But I believe this stage is satisfactory enough to understand where others come from in their actions, reactions and feelings. At this point a seeker understands that the factors which influence a persons thoughts, goal and desires goes beyond cultural and social norms. There are also past experiences, traumas, neglect, differing stages of maturity, and possibly an infinite amount of other factors influencing the other persons mentality. Some of these factors may be known and easily understandable, but others may be a lot harder to pinpoint and may not be observable at a surface level. ie "This person gets angry when their house is dirtied. If I accidentally dirty their house, I should clean up myself so I can respect their desire to keep their house clean." But also at this point the seeker may also be able to understand behaviours that are not normal. For example in the case where someone has OCD or is anti-social. Instead of being weirded out, they may be able to understand that maybe this person suffers from trauma or neglect. And their thoughts and feelings over certain situations are beyond their control. I see this as especially important in intimate relationships because you really get to know another person. If a partner has certain behaviours or reactions that are seen as very abnormal. The seeker would understand that these may be a result of issues from early childhood. 6. "There is no difference between you and I" - I know this may be a big jump. But I see this as a higher level of understanding where the seeker realizes that every person is physically just flesh and bones. If the seeker had the same life experiences, culture, and even past life karams as the other person... there is almost a complete certainty that they would react in the same was as the other person. There is a lot of freedom when the mind sits with this mentality. 7. Nothing exists outside of God - At this point, it's no longer a level of educational understanding. But spiritual awakening and inner realization. Where the seeker see's Waheguru's jot within every person. And see's the world as Waheguru's doing. All the plays of karma are Wahegurus doing. Again, this is more of a spiritual experience rather than a state of intellectual knowledge. I know the examples that I provides are pretty basic but I think it could easily be applied to other, more complex situations. ie a cult leader. - This person may be lonely, neglected as a child and be seeking attention. - They want to act as a guiding figure for other people but may completely misunderstand what other peoples wants and needs are. This list is infinite. But again, this is just my understanding at this point. I know it will get deeper and more complex as there is more spiritual growth.
  3. Yesterday
  4. Please don't call me names like that. I am nothing of the sort. Just a normal average guy like you. I do not give out my personal number and suggest you remove yours from the post. Anything you wish to say or ask, please post here.
  5. Last week
  6. It just happened about few years ago as I was in a 'Dukh' situation, no one I mean no human - let me tell you I have a big family full of brothers, sisters, parents, relatives, friends but still no one came to my rescue. I was shattered. Never thought that I would be so lonely in the crowd of so called Apne--- I made friends with Guru Sahib and resorted to his seva, simran and Bani. Time healed d dukh but how could I leave the hand of my only friend who helped me in despair. .. I clinged. And trust me when we become' Nishkaam' and love him totally he pays.
  7. Thank you Sarabatam jio for your efforts. Yes!~ I have utmost respect for Satguru Sahib Gobind Singh Ji Khalsa Mahraaj. His bani contains the absolute truth.
  8. Veer ji i tried meat when i was a teen due to bad influence and luckly didn't get any addication to it when i stopped it less than a year later back then. I remember not having any good tasting meat at the time lol and looking back now i don't remember it being good compared to the other stuff i love such as kadhi pakora, ghiya kofta,aloo badiya,aloo wala paratha,kaju barfi,raasmali etc
  9. Look at how quick they were to throw around the 'Sikh' label when that stabbing/hammering thing happened in Seven Kings recently. Even though some of the people involved weren't even Sikh (they were Hindu). But when it suits them, they use the word 'asian' to describe these animals. People should note that.
  10. I am really scared to put this here since Harsharan ji has already answered your query and he's always telling me that I am nobody here to write anything or tell anyone right or wrong. I also witnessed how @sukh_preet was attacked by a new member for saying something that was correct. I just wanna mention one thing that we have lost many active members from this forum because of these arguments. Lucky Veerji, sat Veerji doesn't write much here because of these attacks. As for @sukh_ Preet he/ she ( I m not sure- I never asked though we have communicated via DMs too) joined this forum when he was too upset about his own Mom keeping secrets about her avastha from him. That was not acceptable to him and we discussed it...... so when @prabhtej ji and @soulfinder Veerji did the same - it was an emotional burst. Anyway @still nascent people usually get confused about Dasam dear and trikuti. This video at 5 mins would clarify
  11. Dass found the saakhi by Sant Baba Jarnail Singh Ji Bhindrawale and its the best as no one can tell a saakhi like Sant Ji. Here is a mp4 just in case if it gets deleted at 2:50 onwards Chooth _ Sant Jarnail Singh Ji Khalsa Bhindranwale ( 360 X 360 ).mp4
  12. Veer ji you are 100% true and i agree with you. I have seen myself people doing panj pyare sewa and attending party halls with meat & alcohol being served. So its really hard to understand who is following correct marayda nowdays.
  13. Here is a explaination by Sant Baba Gurbachan Singh Ji Bhindrawale on the subject at 7:45 http://www.gurmatveechar.com/audios/Katha/01_Puratan_Katha/Sant_Gurbachan_Singh_(Bhindran_wale)/Guru_Granth_Sahib_Larivaar_Katha/Volume_04_Ang_0250-0346/35--Sant.Gurbachan.Singh.(Bhindran.wale)--Raag.Gourhi--Ang.290%2B291.(Sukhmani.Sahib).mp3
  14. Mathematics encompasses all the numbers. There are patterns of numbers that tell us powerful secrets and mysteries about forces and powers of the universe, knowledge of which is key. Besides, this section is "other" faiths and philosophies, Hinduism. So what point does strict Gurmat teaching apply here? And... who is to say that YOUR interpretation of Gurmat is actually correct? 33 is powerful symbolically, and the ultimate truth is One without a Second... but we live in THIS world of duality and Maya... we do not live in heaven realm or some purely spiritual imagining... the Oneness of God can be discerned in THIS material world only thru the sargun agency of the UNMANIFEST ULTIMATE who we cannot even perceive because it is AGOCHAR. In mathematics, the equivalent of everything... is nothing, the null void, shunyata. So, everything and nothing are part of the Oneness. If 3 were an insignificant number... why is it spoken of in Gurbani? Or, perhaps there is a teaching there. All is meaningless confusion lost in variety? What about attending university to study psychology, engineering, medicine, philosophy, economics? What about the significance of 33 Savaiye? 33 sections of Shri Guru Granth Sahib Ji?
  15. Darshan dekh jeeva Gur tera

    Pooran karam hovay Prabh mera.

    Eh benanti sunh Prabh merey

    Deh Nam kar apnay cherey

    Apni sharan raakh prabh daate
    Gurparsaad kinnae virle jaate

    Sunho binou prabh mere meeta
    Charan kamal vasae mere cheeta

    Nanak ek karae ardaas
    Bisar naahi pooran guntaas

  16. Earlier
  17. REPOSTING , I wanted to confess that Amritrass not only appears but disappears too. I had a big argument in the family about a month ago and I said a few things in rage as anger took over me, which I regretted saying later. But I lost all the amrit Rass from my mouth. I regret it so much. I was so sad. So sorry. Though I wasn't wrong in putting my point just that in heated moment I hurt someone's feelings in the way I said it.. It took me a month to apologize and convince waheguru ji and make up for what I have lost. I have now got it bck but at the beginers level only. Please I am putting this here and in sweet taste thread, so that anyone who is going through this may not commit the same mistake I did. Waheguru
  18. Lakh khushiyan paatshahiyan je Satgur nadar kare

    Nimakh vekh Har Naam dae mera mann tann sheetal hoye
    Jis ko poorab likhiya tinn Satgur charan gahe

    1. Soulfinder

      Soulfinder

      Wah wah veer ji

  19. An eye opener verse from the Bani ਗਣਤੈ ਸੇਵ ਨ ਹੋਵਈ ਕੀਤਾ ਥਾਇ ਨ ਪਾਇ ॥ Ganathai Saev N Hovee Keethaa Thhaae N Paae || That devotion which is calculated in numbers is no devotion at all, and what is done is not approved, thus time wasted for nothing is achieved except that the haume is strengthend.
  20. ਨਾਮ ਬਿਨਾ ਸਭੁ ਜਗੁ ਹੈ ਮੈਲਾ ਦੂਜੈ ਭਰਮਿ ਪਤਿ ਖੋਈ ॥੨॥

    Naam Binaa Sabh Jag Hai Mailaa Dhoojai Bharam Path Khoee ||2||

    Without the Name, the whole world is polluted; wandering in duality, it loses its honor. ||2||

  21. Everyone is a beggar; God is the Great Giver.

    The Treasure of Virtue is the Infinite, Endless Lord.

    That person, unto whom God grants His Mercy

    - that humble being chants the Name of the Lord, Har, Har. ||3||

  22. I do not think at all, that the student from Englando who wrote this article above is correct, for he is mistaking vikars for sins. The vikars are within us, in our minds, but they by themselves are not sins, though we can say, that under their influences, it is most probably to commit sins/ bad karmas. Which is a very different thing. We also have positive attributes within us, just as peace, humility, forgiveness, awareness, etc ..... but unless we do some action under their influences, we do not create good karmas/punya. Ultimately, we have to be good and build a high and a noble character, if we want to walk on the higher path of spirituality. For being good, we attract blessings from Him, which is very much required, if we love Him and want to merge in Him, for then He will arrange things for us in that way, that we may reach His abode for sure. He is the doer of our "melaap" with Him Stay blessed.
  23. ਨਾਮ ਬਿਨਾ ਹੋਇ ਜਾਸੀ ਧੂਰ ॥੨॥

    Naam Binaa Hoe Jaasee Dhhoor ||2||

    Without the Naam, the Name of the Lord, everything is reduced to dust. ||2||

    therefore

    ਸੰਗਿ ਨਾਹੀ ਰੇ ਸਗਲ ਪਸਾਰੀ ॥

    Sang Naahee Rae Sagal Pasaaree ||

    Of all this expanse, nothing shall go along with you.

  24. Hanji, actually I have recently started to understand this concept of sleep and sunn and as per my understanding there's a thin line between the two. Here are the links that may clear the difference for u as it's really important for sangat on this path to understand. Twist this as per Gurmat and let's do Japp before sleeping. I am trying on this though easier said than done
  25. Its sickening of what is happening in the outside world especially for the young victims who are from dysfunctional families where nobody has tried to understand the victims thoughts or state of mind. Then they end up in this web of hell.
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