119 replies to this topic

[laalsingh]

Let them have fun. Don't worry. It is 'their cousins'.

[sarbatdapala]

We can't really take literacy into account for these marriages- there alot of practices such as intercaste marriage which literacy does not get rid off. One of the things with marrying into same family is money stays in the family, so there is no point if you do not have much money, better to marry off if your poor to rob the inlaws.

[G.Kaur]

I don't see a big difference between marrying your cousins and marrying someone you've called paajee/bhainjee. Today we see a lot of young people calling each other paajee or bhainjee and then they get married. How disgusting is that. I mean, what are you going to tell your children "5 years ago your mother was my bhainjee, and now she's the mother of my children".

Please have some respect for the words you are using.

I've had numerous discussions about this with my Muslim friend, and she said in Islamic culture it doesn't mean you're someone's sister if a guy calls you a sister, it's just a polite way of talking to each other. Hmm I'm wondering if the same thing has started in our culture?

Edited by G.Kaur, 10 June 2011 - 09:31 AM.

[kdsingh80]

G.Kaur

In earlier times unknown boys and girls don't use to talk but now they do.Tell me if Sikh man meets a sikh woman 2-3 times at Gurdwara or anywhere and out of respect He or she said Bhaa ji or bhain ji and later He found that it is the same girl with whom his parents are arranging his Rishta then what? Should he or she decline that Rishtaa because he or she said bhaaji or bhain ji even if they are perfect for each other?

Edited by kdsingh80, 10 June 2011 - 10:18 AM.

[G.Kaur]

I'm not goin to tell people what they should do, I just told my opinion on this issue.

[SikhKhoj]

Just don't call anyone phenji or phaji unless you really feel like it.

Honestly, the thing is about TREATING others as you would brother/sister (i.e. not look at them with lust etc), while there still are so many people saying phaji/phenji and then going in relationships/marriages. So saying phenji phaji while still having wrong intentions is just wrong.


Most Punjabi Sikhs don't marry into dadke and nanke, however I have seen a rising trend in Punjab of marrying in nanke (even dadke), however thats always against family wishes.
Only Sikhs that intermarry within families are the Khatris. Many Pakistani and Afghani Sikhs are Khatris and that explains them marrying their cousins. Another thing, Sikh community in Pak and Afghan is very small, nobody from India wants to marry their daughter in those countries, so they are forced to marry within families.

Edited by SikhKhoj, 10 June 2011 - 05:00 PM.

[G.Kaur]

SikhKhoj, on 10 June 2011 - 04:59 PM, said:

Just don't call anyone phenji or phaji unless you really feel like it.

Honestly, the thing is about TREATING others as you would brother/sister (i.e. not look at them with lust etc), while there still are so many people saying phaji/phenji and then going in relationships/marriages. So saying phenji phaji while still having wrong intentions is just wrong.


Most Punjabi Sikhs don't marry into dadke and nanke, however I have seen a rising trend in Punjab of marrying in nanke (even dadke), however thats always against family wishes.
Only Sikhs that intermarry within families are the Khatris. Many Pakistani and Afghani Sikhs are Khatris and that explains them marrying their cousins. Another thing, Sikh community in Pak and Afghan is very small, nobody from India wants to marry their daughter in those countries, so they are forced to marry within families.

That is exactly my point.

One of the few things I like in Punjabi culture is that everyone in your dadke and nanke are your family or door rishtedar.

[SikhKhoj]

Not only that, all surrounding villages are door rishtedaars too haha

[G.Kaur]

Haha no they're not, unless they are from the same (caste) background as you. Otherwise they're low caste people. (Punjabi mentality, not my personal opinion)

In my nanke pind all the chamars live outside the pind near the bus-stand, the few chir and bahman families live in the pind with all the rest. The pind next to my pind is a pind with people from chamar background. The 2 pinds used to be one pind many years ago, but then people split because they didn't want to live with the chamars. Idiots!

[G.Kaur]

British definition of a family member (from UK visa application)

A “member of the applicant’s family” is any of the following persons
(a) the applicant’s spouse, father, mother, son, daughter, grandfather, grandmother, grandson, granddaughter, brother, sister, uncle, aunt, nephew, niece or first cousin; (NB: “first cousin” means, in relation to a person, the son or daughter of his uncle or aunt);
( B ) the father, mother, brother or sister of the applicant’s spouse;
© the spouse of the applicant’s son or daughter;
(d) the applicant’s stepfather, stepmother, stepson, stepdaughter, stepbrother or stepsister; or
(e) a person with whom the applicant has lived as a member of an unmarried couple for at least two of the three years before the day on which his application for entry clearance was made.

The Punjabi definition would be:

All the above + everyone from your mom's and dad's nanke and dadke, everyone in your pind, your mami's sister's husband's brother's wife's sister's son, your cousin's cousin's husband's cousin's niece's husband's mami, your puffar's sister's husband's sister's daughter-in-law's cousin, your mom's cousin's wife's nephew's wife's massi's daughter.

Edited by G.Kaur, 11 June 2011 - 10:02 AM.

[SikhKhoj]

Ohi main kehnda, people from same 'caste'.

Yes, chamaarli is usually seperate from other castes. Just sad, seperate gurdwaras and shamshaans too.

[londondajatt]

SikhKhoj, on 11 June 2011 - 10:37 AM, said:

Ohi main kehnda, people from same 'caste'.

Yes, chamaarli is usually seperate from other castes. Just sad, seperate gurdwaras and shamshaans too.

Yes but at least chamars aren't aggressive in preaching against sikhs cultures/castes/tribes. The people that are aggressive in anti caste preaching also have their own gurdwaras and also special paghs. (Hint, its not Singh Sabha gurdwara, but its usually the other gurdwara in a town/city)

Edited by londondajatt, 13 June 2011 - 03:24 PM.

[dalsingh101]

London why don't you go to Jattworld.com? You'd probably be more at home there and find more like minded phudhus?

[SikhKhoj]

LoL Khatris usually are firmer in their beliefs in Sikhi than Jatts. Jatts dominate pinds where 80% Sikhs are monas, yet you will see all Khatris in cities with Sikhi saroop.

But indeed, JattWorld would be a good place for you.

[Mithar]

edit

Edited by Mithar, 13 June 2011 - 06:38 PM.