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HisServant

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HisServant last won the day on January 5

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About HisServant

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    Ladla||Ladli
  • Birthday 08/22/1997

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    Meditation

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  1. @Sat1176 @Lucky @BhagatSingh I remember years ago (and even months ago) I used to complain to you guys about how getting to dhoor and blasting the mind out of the body was such a difficulty. But I can successfully say that it's almost as if it's a walk in the park now. Did about 5-10 mins of chanting simran with a friend the other day (in a noisy public place) and the mind was ready for blast off. I still get stuck in that middle point where it feels like the minds about to launch (but never does). But even getting to this point never felt possible. I'm just working on cutting down the amount of time it takes. There was even a day where it was almost immediate. But I think it takes roughly 5 mins on average (down from 2-4 hours when I was stuck in my bubble). Btw: this was some solid advice which I can finally follow now. Almost 4 years later. But one thing to note: I'm starting to realize, these blasts may not be a journey outside of the body... perhaps they're a journey inward?
  2. It's a technique called advaita vedanta. I aim to stay with my own "awareness". When I started years ago, I would ask myself a series of questions: "who am I" "Am I this body?.... If I lost my arm, am I still me?.... If I'm still me, how does this body define who I am?.... Am I these thoughts?.... These thoughts come and go and are eventually forgotten... how could I be these thoughts?" I would go as deep as I could go. And eventually I'd get to a point where there would be just pure awareness, thoughtless and just observing any sensory information that came in, no judgement or interpretation. Current day, I typically don't need to start with those questions. I can jump straight into the awareness and stay with it day and night. But this has taken years to develop. I do the same with shabad and parkash as well. I observe the experiences that arise and it helps me merge into them. I get rid of all attachments to theories and techniques by forcing the mind to stay unbiased and non-judgemental.
  3. Thank you @Ragmaala. Applications are going well. Just playing the waiting game to see what happens. In the meantime, I have launched a charity project to help people within the south asian community. So that's the seva for now. One thing that really hit me during that major experience, was to take care of people who are suffering from mental health illnesses, such as depression, anxiety and anything else that leads to mental suffering. So there's been a big drive to help out people who are in these types of situations. Much of the people I'm working with are youth. I've noticed our people do have a lot of bad habits and traumas that have been passed down from generation to generation. And they project those traumas onto their kids who later carry the same issues as their parents when they grow older. Not everyone wants to do bhagti/meditation, but I've just been trying to help people as best as I can using other methods. It's taught me a lot and really opened my eyes to how much suffering there is in this world (Nanak dukhia sabh sansar). Also gives a boost to your own bhagti when you hold out a loving and compassionate hand to someone who needs.
  4. lol I was gone for a while eh? I'm not a doctor yet. I'm still applying to med school and just waiting to see what happens. There were times where I went through a lot of worry about my career but now I've been able to sit with the internal realization that waheguru is the one in control. Whether the med school acceptance comes or not is on God. In one moment, beggars become kings and the next, kings become beggars. I've always been a very paranoid and anxious person. But it's been so relieving being able to remain laid back and focus on one day at a time. Shabad - sound of god's voice. It's an internal sound that's heard once you're at a certain point in your progress. Parkash - is somewhat/sort of like a light. I'm not going to get into any further details because I don't think these things should be described publicly. It's better to experience them, and then have them confirmed by someone who's decently far into their spiritual journey. I don't do much chanting anymore. I do sometimes, usually in sangat. But most of the time I can just tune into shabad and close my eyes to look at parkash. And then just let the mind melt into them and go from there. There's a technique called rom rom Simran that I do use a lot of the time to give myself a bit of a booster.
  5. Completely agreed. The first person I reached out to after my God-Sister was a saint in Vancouver. I gave him a call and also read him everything I wrote while I was in that state. He confirmed everything and said I was on track. He said the reason why the experience occurred was because I let go of my attachments. I'm not saying anything against Saints, the moral of my post was on "attachment". I spent years being attached to the physical form of my teachers. I lived and breathed their names. I was doing bhagti for them and not Waheguru. They were even the one's who told me not to fall into that same mind trap. But I was stuck in it for years. It was the moment that I let go of the attachment to my teachers, friends, family, materialism and everything else in my life that this breakthrough occurred. And as a side note - I have spent most of my life avoiding reading up on experiences. I've even only used this forum to post my own experiences in hopes of receiving guidance from people like @BhagatSingh, @Sat1176, @Lucky and the occasional guests who come out of no where and just blow your mind with new information. I'm not doubting this could have been an illusion. That's always a possibility for anyone. But on the bright side - ever since the experience (or illusion) occurred, my life has changed in a way that cannot be reversed. As I walk around, shabad is loud because the mind is still and silent. There's never a time where I close my eyes and can't see parkash (prior this was a challenge I had). It only takes a few moments of meditation to enter into states that used to take me over an hour. I feel free. I have no worries about student debt, or being successful, who hates/likes me, or any other form of worry. I just have an internal realization that Waheguru is taking care of everything. And also that I've never been the "doer" in this life. Whether I die of illness or build a large amount of wealth, it's all the same and in god's hands. Everything happening around is just a show created by waheguru and the one sitting inside is just observing everything. I still do have emotions that arise. The amount the mind is absorbed in shabad and parkash varies. Sometimes more and sometimes less. And the awareness of the inner god consciousness also varies. Sometimes it's a lot more and sometime's it's a lot less. I'm still on the spiritual progression roller coater where some days are better than others. But overall, it's a completely new playing field. My spiritual goals are different. The goal a few weeks ago was to see some next level dimensions or experience something unimaginable. But now the goal is to disappear. Completely disappear as the person who thinks he is inside this body. And live in the realization that there is nothing but waheguru inside and outside of this body. The sights that I'm seeing on a daily basis, however, are still indescribable. When I come out of my meditation, there's a very noticeable level of subtle energy everywhere. I burst into laughter because I feel so detached from "reality". In Punjabi they use the word "amli" (druggie). Except the addiction is this mental silence. From this mental silence, arises all of these sounds and sights that completely alter how the world is experienced. But even with everything that occurs on a daily basis, the greatest craving is that internal sense of peace and freedom.
  6. You're welcome, friend. I actually do have a copy of bandiginama at home but I've never read it, it's been sitting in my house for at least 7 or 8 years. The reason why I wanted to avoid reading it was because I don't want the perception of other people's experiences to affect my own. Some people agree with this idea and others don't. But that's just how I've wanted to approach my own bhagti. I've heard it's filled with a lot of gems though. I may read it one day when I feel ready. As for saints - I do have a few in the western world who I am learning from. As per India, I don't know anyone directly. @Sat1176 posts some great videos sometimes and those kathavachiks usually have their phone numbers attached. But I always recommend approaching anyone with caution and making sure everything is in-line with Gurbani. And do not let yourself get attached.
  7. Thank you @Sat1176. You and @Lucky were the one's who always kept me motivated and on my feet. Your posts back in 2014/2015 gave all of us a big push. So much of my learning came from this site.
  8. Hello, first of all sorry for the late reply. I was on Christmas break and much of it was focused on development so I haven't been online much. But I am going to reply to everyone one by one. Thank you @harsharan000 for the encouragement. I second the point on the mind attacking when you least expect it. We've all been there time and time again. You've also done a lot of great work inspiring and contributing to this site. And I thank you for that.
  9. Hello everyone, I know it's been a while since I've been here but I really needed time to myself to grow and really push myself. I thought I'd post an update now that a few major breakthroughs have occurred. I know some of the terminologies and content may not be easily understood by a lot of people, but I don't want to expand too much on the individual experiences. The point of this post is about getting over plateaus and keeping yourself open minded during your journey. 1. I spent a few years listening to shabad and looking at Prakash during my sessions. Things were going well and dhoor would even come at times and I'd be blasted upwards. But I was still running into the same issues. I would get to a point where the mind would rise upwards to a certain point but there would always be a thought that came in the way that would bring me crashing back down. Don't get me wrong, life was great. Shabad was and always has been changing my life. I was constantly happy and in bliss. Parkash put me at ease within moments of looking at it. I was completely satisfied physically, emotionally, mentally and tregun-wise I felt absolutely no pain. But I hit a major plateau in terms of my actual spiritual journey and progression towards merging with the divine. 2. I really stepped things up and started listening to shabad 24/7. Looking at parkash whenever I closed my eyes. Even externally, looking at all the lights and stars and flashes. Even keeping my dhyan on that layer of subtle energy that exists between the eyes and Maya. This had an even greater affect. I felt the same joy and whenever I put my dhyan into shabad. It would completely absorb me. Like sinking into water. But as per crossing the mind over and using dhoor to elevate it, I still had struggles. Not sure if it's because of my age and lack of years of practice (I'm 22 years old, I haven't been doing Bhagti for as long as many people here, I haven't even been alive for as long as a lot of people have been at their bhagti, so I do have a long long long way to go). However, once you're already this deep in, you don't want to waste time running in circles. 3. Long story short, I even went to the extent of asking people on this site for help. Visiting multiple, multiple, multiple saints. I kept getting told techniques. None of them worked for me. Not sure if it was my own incompetence and inability to understand the techniques (which is highly possible) but either way, nothing was working and I continued to grow "spiritually frustrated". 4. One day things clicked when someone reminded me of some of the Advaita Vedanta type techniques and affirmations in gurbani ("Tu Kun Re"). And I just decided to sit and watch. This technique had done me wonders years ago and really pushed me to the point where I was experiencing a lot of spiritual experiences before I had the ability to keep dhyan with shabad 24/7. But here's the catch - I had stopped practicing what worked for me because I got caught up in listening to other people instead of listening to my own atam - So all these years I had stopped using this technique because no one else around me was using it. I had become very closed minded thinking it was a waste of time. 5. Another long long story short - I decide to completely immerse myself into that technique. It came natural to me because I had practiced it pretty intensely back about 5 years ago. Except this time it was a completely different ball game. I wasn't just "the witness" in front of tregun. I used the witness awareness while listening to shabad and looking at parkash. And it was insane. I began using it while walking around. Breaking down each thought. Looking at everything aspect of life and the mind and questioning their origin. Then questioning the body that perceives this sensory information and then questioning the one who processes the sensory info... until tregun was no more. Walked around a park completely thoughtless and lost in shabad (which was LOUD due to how clear the mind was sitting). 6. Being completely still internally, I walked to a bench where my body just collapsed and I sat down in a meditative posture - no thought taken - no intention to go into meditation - it just happened. Also no intention to do anything advaita vedanta related but naturally the mind asked a few more questions in regards to the internal and on-going shabad and parkash. I'm not going to record those questions because they are still questions I am internalizing today and do not want to share them publicly. But at that moment, life changed forever - there was a big ball of light that felt like it came out of somewhere (to this day, I don't know where it came from) but it just exploded at that point and it felt like it consumed me and there was nothing left of me. My eyes were still closed and I was still sitting on the bench, but it were as if I ceased to exist. Absolutely nothing was left, no time, no space, nothing. But an infinite and formless presence existed. And I did not feel a difference between myself and that presence. So many shabads and analogies in Gurbani just clicked. I understood things in ways I've never understood before.... tu tu karta tu huwa... mujh meh reha na hu...... The only way I can put things into words is by saying "infinite" and "formless" but even that does not do justice to what was experienced that day. 7. Eventually, I opened my eyes and came back into my body - but even then, there was almost no feeling of time or space left. I live in Canada and it's cold. I had absolutely no feeling of touch or temperature. The only sensory information that was coming in was sight and audio. This was followed by a lot of laughter. A lot of laughter. I don't know why I was laughing so much. Possibly because I realized there had never been a difference between god and I. Everything had always been one. I just felt as if my being was infinite. I had always existed. I stayed in this state for a few hours and there were so many realizations that came to me in that time frame. I really wish I could write them all down but I feel like this post is already long enough. I just sat there for hours contemplating on all of these new realized secrets. I remember at the time my god-sister sent me a video over text and these were the messages I sent her in that moment (note: I was still lost in the experience and was still coming back down into the body so my typing was really off so please pardon the typos, I'm copying and pasting everything word for word): - "i cant watch this right now" - "but waheguru has s everywhere’s" - "i did simran all fay" - "i hit something big" - "waheguru will take care of everything" "thats it" 8. I later came back down and was completely normal again and was able to send this text message: "I felt like everything is waheguru. inside and out and i felt like i could talk to god and i felt taken care of and that there was no need to stress over anything and that ive never been seperated, god has always been here and waheguru is taking care of everything and i felt like moving forward, I need to take care of the people around me. It felt like it was a seva that was given to take care of them emotionally, physically, etc i’ve come back down and into the body and i feel all my senses again. But i learnt so much about myself. But what’s sticking with me right now is that waheguru is here and everywhere. Intellectually we’re told this. But for the first time in my life I felt it and right now all thats needed is to stay with shabad and i felt so much love for everyone. and i just wanted everyone in the world to know that waheguru is going to take care of everyone and everyones going to return back to waheguru" Another message that was sent the next day: "it was about 2-3 hours. I was walking outside and it felt as if all the trees and leaves were alive. and i was talking to them telling them not to worry, their suffering will end and everyone will go back to waheguru one day. and i didn’t want to touch them because it felt like they were all in pain. and on a religious level i realized there’s no point in trying to preach or debate with anyone. Everyone has their own cloud of ego and talking to them isn’t enough to remove it. and as per life, it felt like there was no need to stress over anything. Just live life day by day. don’t overthink. just let things happen. It felt like god was in control of every aspect and everything in life has happened due to god’s orders. And when i was sitting down with my eyes closed, it felt like there had never been a difference between god and I. At that point i started laughing really hard.: 9. This experience did not stay permanent - I feel like it was a trailer of what could happen if I keep putting in the hard work ..... Or maybe it was God saying "congrats you dummy, you finally came out of your bubble and listened to yourself. This happened mid December. There's a lot more I need to say and update on. My everyday experiences are a lot different now and a lot of big things are happening. But I feel like this post is already long enough. Thank you to everyone here who has helped me and continuously encouraged me throughout my journey. Sending you all nothing but love. I hope everyone keeps growing and progressing forward everyday... Although forward may not be the best word... there is no direction in this infinite realm.... no back, front, left, right or centre.... waheguru just is.
  10. This video was actually gr8. I'm about half way through watching and will be done soon.
  11. lol... sometimes I'm also the 81 year old who can't figure out technology Regardless @tva prasad GOOD STUFF. You seem to be off to great things m8
  12. @Lucky @Sat1176 Anotha' one #TeamShabad #Gains #Goals #BhagtiFlex (lol excuse my 21-year-old internet mind) But good stuff. Makes me happy whenever another person starts hearing/listening
  13. @Sat1176 @Lucky or anyone else Can someone clear up the differences between the terms “shabad”, “naad”, “toor” and any of the other sounds gurbani refers to. I think I know the difference. I know where I’m at is shabad and there is occasionally toor. It’s mainly “naad” that I don’t understand. And I’ve seen people mixing up the terms frequently on this site.
  14. It wasn't exactly like this but very similar. Except this time, bodily vibrations were not as intense. But the sounds were the same. The blast wasn't as loud... I think. Maybe I was able to handle it better this time? I was able to keep my dhyan on the sound and just follow it. Last time I was scared and thought I was about to die or something. This time there was no fear, I just went through with it. Thoughts did come up like, "what's happening". But I remembered I needed to focus and make sure not a single thought enters.
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