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HisServant

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Everything posted by HisServant

  1. I've been spending a lot of time recently observing how people react to conflict and other situations of tension. And I'm starting to see how carrying a certain perspective can either make or break your spirituality. Whether this perspective taking is developed through bhagti or whether you need to develop this perspective to do bhagti is beyond me (like what came first, the chicken or the egg?). But I've summarized it into a few different categories. Disclaimer: this is not a complete list and is solely based on where my current understanding of the world sits. I'm just sharing what my current perspective on human behaviour is. 1. Complete duality - During this stage, a seeker has absolutely zero perspective taking ability. Does not understand that the other person has distinct thoughts and feelings. The focus is solely on the actions of the other individual. Children often express this at the earliest stage of their development. As for adults, they may have developed and have a higher understanding, but the veil of ego is so deep that they do not understand the views of the other. During this phase, a person is susceptible to the most amount of conflict and/or hurt feelings. I feel like this is where people often sit when they start fights, lash out, throw chairs and get malicious... or are in a lot of emotional pain and grief by the actions of others. "I am completely separate from this person. This other person is angry. This person yells at me and makes me feel sad. This is a bad individual... etc". 2. Partial understanding - At this stage, the seeker understands that others have their own thoughts and feelings. Other people act according to their own thoughts and feelings. But the seeker still may not realize that those thoughts and feelings may be fuelled by an underlying set of desires or goals. This seems to often lead to people holding grudges, not communicating, pushing people they don't like away but the emotional pain from the actions of others is reduced. ie "This person is mad whenever I do not take off my shoes when I enter the house. These actions make them angry. And then they yell at me". 3. The beginning of perspective taking - At this stage, the seeker starts to understand that others have goals and desires that differ from them. People act according to those goals and desires. At this stage, a seeker would recognize that other people are angry for a specific reason. And they may work on avoiding the things that make that person feel a certain way. ie "This individual wants to keep their floor clean because their desire is to have a clean house. Therefore, if someone dirties their house, they get angry. I should take off my shoes whenever I enter their house so the floor does not get dirty". But the seeker may still react negatively if their is confrontation for a mistake on their behalf. ie If the seeker accidentally walks into the house with their shoes on, instead of apologizing, they may still work to protect their own ego and possibly still lash out in a negative manner". 4. A deeper sense of perspective taking - At this point the seeker begins to understand that other people's thoughts, goals and desires are influenced by a variety of factors. This may include cultural, societal and other norms. The seeker understand that people are heavily influenced by their upbringing and the seeker begins to put themself in the shoes of the other. And realize if they had been in that persons shoes, they may feel the same way. And this is where I see empathy *begins* to develop. And there is remorse for certain actions taken on behalf of the seeker. ie "If I also had the desire to keep my house clean and someone dirtied it, I would also feel angry." And instead of lashing out, there is remorse and a seeker would rather apologize for something accidental, instead of protecting their own ego. 5. Complete perspective taking - By complete, I don't mean this is the final point. I think the understanding of differing perspectives is infinite. But I believe this stage is satisfactory enough to understand where others come from in their actions, reactions and feelings. At this point a seeker understands that the factors which influence a persons thoughts, goal and desires goes beyond cultural and social norms. There are also past experiences, traumas, neglect, differing stages of maturity, and possibly an infinite amount of other factors influencing the other persons mentality. Some of these factors may be known and easily understandable, but others may be a lot harder to pinpoint and may not be observable at a surface level. ie "This person gets angry when their house is dirtied. If I accidentally dirty their house, I should clean up myself so I can respect their desire to keep their house clean." But also at this point the seeker may also be able to understand behaviours that are not normal. For example in the case where someone has OCD or is anti-social. Instead of being weirded out, they may be able to understand that maybe this person suffers from trauma or neglect. And their thoughts and feelings over certain situations are beyond their control. I see this as especially important in intimate relationships because you really get to know another person. If a partner has certain behaviours or reactions that are seen as very abnormal. The seeker would understand that these may be a result of issues from early childhood. 6. "There is no difference between you and I" - I know this may be a big jump. But I see this as a higher level of understanding where the seeker realizes that every person is physically just flesh and bones. If the seeker had the same life experiences, culture, and even past life karams as the other person... there is almost a complete certainty that they would react in the same was as the other person. There is a lot of freedom when the mind sits with this mentality. 7. Nothing exists outside of God - At this point, it's no longer a level of educational understanding. But spiritual awakening and inner realization. Where the seeker see's Waheguru's jot within every person. And see's the world as Waheguru's doing. All the plays of karma are Wahegurus doing. Again, this is more of a spiritual experience rather than a state of intellectual knowledge. I know the examples that I provides are pretty basic but I think it could easily be applied to other, more complex situations. ie a cult leader. - This person may be lonely, neglected as a child and be seeking attention. - They want to act as a guiding figure for other people but may completely misunderstand what other peoples wants and needs are. This list is infinite. But again, this is just my understanding at this point. I know it will get deeper and more complex as there is more spiritual growth.
  2. I pretty much never intervene in conflict but I think it’s necessary right now This portion of the site is dedicated to sharing experiences. Simple. No arguments, no treguni posts. Nothing. If you guys want to discuss something, send each other a personal message. That’s what a lot of us do. We talk directly with each other in private conversations. I would recommend doing the same, especially if it’s a personal issue. People who don’t believe in sharing their spiritual experiences, also usually believe in not reading about them either. People who don’t share, typically feel susceptible to their ego feeding off of the compliments. People who don’t read, don’t want their mind tricking them during their own meditation. I understand where some of you come from. That’s why if you share, make sure you remember it’s waheguru within you experiencing waheguru. And nothing more. And if you read experiences, make sure you do your bhagti in gurmat with Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji as your reference. Sharing will help you verify the validity. Sharing is what helped me progress. @Sat1176kept me accountable and @Lucky gave me guidance. We moved together as a family and all made progress. We all came to this site as beginners with little to no experience. We did not argue, fight or compete against each other. We cared and lifted each other with compassion. We changed each others lives for the better because we shared openly, kept each other accountable, shared our knowledge and made sure each and every one of us was doing well and on track. It was our love for one another that kept our bhagti strong. It’s hard to believe this family was formed over 6 years ago. Time really flies. That being said, I want this argument to end here. If you need to say something to one another, send a direct message. But I’m hoping the posts after this post will solely be about experiences and guidance rather than small talk and arguments. I want you guys to treat each other with love and respect. You are a sangat parivaar. Your bhagti will thank you later.
  3. A new realization emerged today -> The higher self is neither day nor night The higher self is neither left nor right... nor behind nor in front The higher self is neither man nor woman The higher self is neither human nor animal The higher self is neither cold nor hot The higher self is neither sound nor silence Shabad is heard within the mind, but who is the one perceiving shabad (anhad naad sounds)? Who is the one creating shabad? If the higher self were silence, who is the one who perceives the silence? Who is the one who creates the silence -------->>>>>>> If we are God, and God is us.... how can silence be God? We must be that thing that perceives both the silence and the noise God is right here, right now. The divine energy is manifest all around.
  4. @Sat1176 @Lucky @BhagatSingh I remember years ago (and even months ago) I used to complain to you guys about how getting to dhoor and blasting the mind out of the body was such a difficulty. But I can successfully say that it's almost as if it's a walk in the park now. Did about 5-10 mins of chanting simran with a friend the other day (in a noisy public place) and the mind was ready for blast off. I still get stuck in that middle point where it feels like the minds about to launch (but never does). But even getting to this point never felt possible. I'm just working on cutting down the amount of time it takes. There was even a day where it was almost immediate. But I think it takes roughly 5 mins on average (down from 2-4 hours when I was stuck in my bubble). Btw: this was some solid advice which I can finally follow now. Almost 4 years later. But one thing to note: I'm starting to realize, these blasts may not be a journey outside of the body... perhaps they're a journey inward?
  5. It's a technique called advaita vedanta. I aim to stay with my own "awareness". When I started years ago, I would ask myself a series of questions: "who am I" "Am I this body?.... If I lost my arm, am I still me?.... If I'm still me, how does this body define who I am?.... Am I these thoughts?.... These thoughts come and go and are eventually forgotten... how could I be these thoughts?" I would go as deep as I could go. And eventually I'd get to a point where there would be just pure awareness, thoughtless and just observing any sensory information that came in, no judgement or interpretation. Current day, I typically don't need to start with those questions. I can jump straight into the awareness and stay with it day and night. But this has taken years to develop. I do the same with shabad and parkash as well. I observe the experiences that arise and it helps me merge into them. I get rid of all attachments to theories and techniques by forcing the mind to stay unbiased and non-judgemental.
  6. Thank you @Ragmaala. Applications are going well. Just playing the waiting game to see what happens. In the meantime, I have launched a charity project to help people within the south asian community. So that's the seva for now. One thing that really hit me during that major experience, was to take care of people who are suffering from mental health illnesses, such as depression, anxiety and anything else that leads to mental suffering. So there's been a big drive to help out people who are in these types of situations. Much of the people I'm working with are youth. I've noticed our people do have a lot of bad habits and traumas that have been passed down from generation to generation. And they project those traumas onto their kids who later carry the same issues as their parents when they grow older. Not everyone wants to do bhagti/meditation, but I've just been trying to help people as best as I can using other methods. It's taught me a lot and really opened my eyes to how much suffering there is in this world (Nanak dukhia sabh sansar). Also gives a boost to your own bhagti when you hold out a loving and compassionate hand to someone who needs.
  7. lol I was gone for a while eh? I'm not a doctor yet. I'm still applying to med school and just waiting to see what happens. There were times where I went through a lot of worry about my career but now I've been able to sit with the internal realization that waheguru is the one in control. Whether the med school acceptance comes or not is on God. In one moment, beggars become kings and the next, kings become beggars. I've always been a very paranoid and anxious person. But it's been so relieving being able to remain laid back and focus on one day at a time. Shabad - sound of god's voice. It's an internal sound that's heard once you're at a certain point in your progress. Parkash - is somewhat/sort of like a light. I'm not going to get into any further details because I don't think these things should be described publicly. It's better to experience them, and then have them confirmed by someone who's decently far into their spiritual journey. I don't do much chanting anymore. I do sometimes, usually in sangat. But most of the time I can just tune into shabad and close my eyes to look at parkash. And then just let the mind melt into them and go from there. There's a technique called rom rom Simran that I do use a lot of the time to give myself a bit of a booster.
  8. Completely agreed. The first person I reached out to after my God-Sister was a saint in Vancouver. I gave him a call and also read him everything I wrote while I was in that state. He confirmed everything and said I was on track. He said the reason why the experience occurred was because I let go of my attachments. I'm not saying anything against Saints, the moral of my post was on "attachment". I spent years being attached to the physical form of my teachers. I lived and breathed their names. I was doing bhagti for them and not Waheguru. They were even the one's who told me not to fall into that same mind trap. But I was stuck in it for years. It was the moment that I let go of the attachment to my teachers, friends, family, materialism and everything else in my life that this breakthrough occurred. And as a side note - I have spent most of my life avoiding reading up on experiences. I've even only used this forum to post my own experiences in hopes of receiving guidance from people like @BhagatSingh, @Sat1176, @Lucky and the occasional guests who come out of no where and just blow your mind with new information. I'm not doubting this could have been an illusion. That's always a possibility for anyone. But on the bright side - ever since the experience (or illusion) occurred, my life has changed in a way that cannot be reversed. As I walk around, shabad is loud because the mind is still and silent. There's never a time where I close my eyes and can't see parkash (prior this was a challenge I had). It only takes a few moments of meditation to enter into states that used to take me over an hour. I feel free. I have no worries about student debt, or being successful, who hates/likes me, or any other form of worry. I just have an internal realization that Waheguru is taking care of everything. And also that I've never been the "doer" in this life. Whether I die of illness or build a large amount of wealth, it's all the same and in god's hands. Everything happening around is just a show created by waheguru and the one sitting inside is just observing everything. I still do have emotions that arise. The amount the mind is absorbed in shabad and parkash varies. Sometimes more and sometimes less. And the awareness of the inner god consciousness also varies. Sometimes it's a lot more and sometime's it's a lot less. I'm still on the spiritual progression roller coater where some days are better than others. But overall, it's a completely new playing field. My spiritual goals are different. The goal a few weeks ago was to see some next level dimensions or experience something unimaginable. But now the goal is to disappear. Completely disappear as the person who thinks he is inside this body. And live in the realization that there is nothing but waheguru inside and outside of this body. The sights that I'm seeing on a daily basis, however, are still indescribable. When I come out of my meditation, there's a very noticeable level of subtle energy everywhere. I burst into laughter because I feel so detached from "reality". In Punjabi they use the word "amli" (druggie). Except the addiction is this mental silence. From this mental silence, arises all of these sounds and sights that completely alter how the world is experienced. But even with everything that occurs on a daily basis, the greatest craving is that internal sense of peace and freedom.
  9. You're welcome, friend. I actually do have a copy of bandiginama at home but I've never read it, it's been sitting in my house for at least 7 or 8 years. The reason why I wanted to avoid reading it was because I don't want the perception of other people's experiences to affect my own. Some people agree with this idea and others don't. But that's just how I've wanted to approach my own bhagti. I've heard it's filled with a lot of gems though. I may read it one day when I feel ready. As for saints - I do have a few in the western world who I am learning from. As per India, I don't know anyone directly. @Sat1176 posts some great videos sometimes and those kathavachiks usually have their phone numbers attached. But I always recommend approaching anyone with caution and making sure everything is in-line with Gurbani. And do not let yourself get attached.
  10. Thank you @Sat1176. You and @Lucky were the one's who always kept me motivated and on my feet. Your posts back in 2014/2015 gave all of us a big push. So much of my learning came from this site.
  11. Hello, first of all sorry for the late reply. I was on Christmas break and much of it was focused on development so I haven't been online much. But I am going to reply to everyone one by one. Thank you @harsharan000 for the encouragement. I second the point on the mind attacking when you least expect it. We've all been there time and time again. You've also done a lot of great work inspiring and contributing to this site. And I thank you for that.
  12. Hello everyone, I know it's been a while since I've been here but I really needed time to myself to grow and really push myself. I thought I'd post an update now that a few major breakthroughs have occurred. I know some of the terminologies and content may not be easily understood by a lot of people, but I don't want to expand too much on the individual experiences. The point of this post is about getting over plateaus and keeping yourself open minded during your journey. 1. I spent a few years listening to shabad and looking at Prakash during my sessions. Things were going well and dhoor would even come at times and I'd be blasted upwards. But I was still running into the same issues. I would get to a point where the mind would rise upwards to a certain point but there would always be a thought that came in the way that would bring me crashing back down. Don't get me wrong, life was great. Shabad was and always has been changing my life. I was constantly happy and in bliss. Parkash put me at ease within moments of looking at it. I was completely satisfied physically, emotionally, mentally and tregun-wise I felt absolutely no pain. But I hit a major plateau in terms of my actual spiritual journey and progression towards merging with the divine. 2. I really stepped things up and started listening to shabad 24/7. Looking at parkash whenever I closed my eyes. Even externally, looking at all the lights and stars and flashes. Even keeping my dhyan on that layer of subtle energy that exists between the eyes and Maya. This had an even greater affect. I felt the same joy and whenever I put my dhyan into shabad. It would completely absorb me. Like sinking into water. But as per crossing the mind over and using dhoor to elevate it, I still had struggles. Not sure if it's because of my age and lack of years of practice (I'm 22 years old, I haven't been doing Bhagti for as long as many people here, I haven't even been alive for as long as a lot of people have been at their bhagti, so I do have a long long long way to go). However, once you're already this deep in, you don't want to waste time running in circles. 3. Long story short, I even went to the extent of asking people on this site for help. Visiting multiple, multiple, multiple saints. I kept getting told techniques. None of them worked for me. Not sure if it was my own incompetence and inability to understand the techniques (which is highly possible) but either way, nothing was working and I continued to grow "spiritually frustrated". 4. One day things clicked when someone reminded me of some of the Advaita Vedanta type techniques and affirmations in gurbani ("Tu Kun Re"). And I just decided to sit and watch. This technique had done me wonders years ago and really pushed me to the point where I was experiencing a lot of spiritual experiences before I had the ability to keep dhyan with shabad 24/7. But here's the catch - I had stopped practicing what worked for me because I got caught up in listening to other people instead of listening to my own atam - So all these years I had stopped using this technique because no one else around me was using it. I had become very closed minded thinking it was a waste of time. 5. Another long long story short - I decide to completely immerse myself into that technique. It came natural to me because I had practiced it pretty intensely back about 5 years ago. Except this time it was a completely different ball game. I wasn't just "the witness" in front of tregun. I used the witness awareness while listening to shabad and looking at parkash. And it was insane. I began using it while walking around. Breaking down each thought. Looking at everything aspect of life and the mind and questioning their origin. Then questioning the body that perceives this sensory information and then questioning the one who processes the sensory info... until tregun was no more. Walked around a park completely thoughtless and lost in shabad (which was LOUD due to how clear the mind was sitting). 6. Being completely still internally, I walked to a bench where my body just collapsed and I sat down in a meditative posture - no thought taken - no intention to go into meditation - it just happened. Also no intention to do anything advaita vedanta related but naturally the mind asked a few more questions in regards to the internal and on-going shabad and parkash. I'm not going to record those questions because they are still questions I am internalizing today and do not want to share them publicly. But at that moment, life changed forever - there was a big ball of light that felt like it came out of somewhere (to this day, I don't know where it came from) but it just exploded at that point and it felt like it consumed me and there was nothing left of me. My eyes were still closed and I was still sitting on the bench, but it were as if I ceased to exist. Absolutely nothing was left, no time, no space, nothing. But an infinite and formless presence existed. And I did not feel a difference between myself and that presence. So many shabads and analogies in Gurbani just clicked. I understood things in ways I've never understood before.... tu tu karta tu huwa... mujh meh reha na hu...... The only way I can put things into words is by saying "infinite" and "formless" but even that does not do justice to what was experienced that day. 7. Eventually, I opened my eyes and came back into my body - but even then, there was almost no feeling of time or space left. I live in Canada and it's cold. I had absolutely no feeling of touch or temperature. The only sensory information that was coming in was sight and audio. This was followed by a lot of laughter. A lot of laughter. I don't know why I was laughing so much. Possibly because I realized there had never been a difference between god and I. Everything had always been one. I just felt as if my being was infinite. I had always existed. I stayed in this state for a few hours and there were so many realizations that came to me in that time frame. I really wish I could write them all down but I feel like this post is already long enough. I just sat there for hours contemplating on all of these new realized secrets. I remember at the time my god-sister sent me a video over text and these were the messages I sent her in that moment (note: I was still lost in the experience and was still coming back down into the body so my typing was really off so please pardon the typos, I'm copying and pasting everything word for word): - "i cant watch this right now" - "but waheguru has s everywhere’s" - "i did simran all fay" - "i hit something big" - "waheguru will take care of everything" "thats it" 8. I later came back down and was completely normal again and was able to send this text message: "I felt like everything is waheguru. inside and out and i felt like i could talk to god and i felt taken care of and that there was no need to stress over anything and that ive never been seperated, god has always been here and waheguru is taking care of everything and i felt like moving forward, I need to take care of the people around me. It felt like it was a seva that was given to take care of them emotionally, physically, etc i’ve come back down and into the body and i feel all my senses again. But i learnt so much about myself. But what’s sticking with me right now is that waheguru is here and everywhere. Intellectually we’re told this. But for the first time in my life I felt it and right now all thats needed is to stay with shabad and i felt so much love for everyone. and i just wanted everyone in the world to know that waheguru is going to take care of everyone and everyones going to return back to waheguru" Another message that was sent the next day: "it was about 2-3 hours. I was walking outside and it felt as if all the trees and leaves were alive. and i was talking to them telling them not to worry, their suffering will end and everyone will go back to waheguru one day. and i didn’t want to touch them because it felt like they were all in pain. and on a religious level i realized there’s no point in trying to preach or debate with anyone. Everyone has their own cloud of ego and talking to them isn’t enough to remove it. and as per life, it felt like there was no need to stress over anything. Just live life day by day. don’t overthink. just let things happen. It felt like god was in control of every aspect and everything in life has happened due to god’s orders. And when i was sitting down with my eyes closed, it felt like there had never been a difference between god and I. At that point i started laughing really hard.: 9. This experience did not stay permanent - I feel like it was a trailer of what could happen if I keep putting in the hard work ..... Or maybe it was God saying "congrats you dummy, you finally came out of your bubble and listened to yourself. This happened mid December. There's a lot more I need to say and update on. My everyday experiences are a lot different now and a lot of big things are happening. But I feel like this post is already long enough. Thank you to everyone here who has helped me and continuously encouraged me throughout my journey. Sending you all nothing but love. I hope everyone keeps growing and progressing forward everyday... Although forward may not be the best word... there is no direction in this infinite realm.... no back, front, left, right or centre.... waheguru just is.
  13. This video was actually gr8. I'm about half way through watching and will be done soon.
  14. lol... sometimes I'm also the 81 year old who can't figure out technology Regardless @tva prasad GOOD STUFF. You seem to be off to great things m8
  15. @Lucky @Sat1176 Anotha' one #TeamShabad #Gains #Goals #BhagtiFlex (lol excuse my 21-year-old internet mind) But good stuff. Makes me happy whenever another person starts hearing/listening
  16. @Sat1176 @Lucky or anyone else Can someone clear up the differences between the terms “shabad”, “naad”, “toor” and any of the other sounds gurbani refers to. I think I know the difference. I know where I’m at is shabad and there is occasionally toor. It’s mainly “naad” that I don’t understand. And I’ve seen people mixing up the terms frequently on this site.
  17. It wasn't exactly like this but very similar. Except this time, bodily vibrations were not as intense. But the sounds were the same. The blast wasn't as loud... I think. Maybe I was able to handle it better this time? I was able to keep my dhyan on the sound and just follow it. Last time I was scared and thought I was about to die or something. This time there was no fear, I just went through with it. Thoughts did come up like, "what's happening". But I remembered I needed to focus and make sure not a single thought enters.
  18. Major experience this morning. I just wrote down bullet points quickly right after on my phone while the memory was fresh: First the conch shell started getting loud. Then it sounded like an airplane was about to take off Loud screeching noises started happening Then it felt like a rollercoaster. or like I was on a jet, or a rocketship etc Something happened and then I was somewhere with nothing but blue and white. like looking at a sky At that moment I started hearing multiple instruments I don't know what happened, honestly. But this is one of the most intense ones I've had so far.
  19. He also briefly goes into energy channels (ida, pingala, sukhmana) around the end.
  20. I am finally starting to experience this. Not to the same extreme but I’m listening to the air conditioning circulating in the house and it’s in synch with it. It’s been happening especially at night when I’m about to sleep. I can unmatch it by changing the rhytm forcefully, but as soon as I stop doing that it automatically goes in synch again. Still needs practice though because it breaks and reconnects at times. I had a very very brief moment where I felt rain drops on my skin - happened a few days ago. Hasn’t happened since but I think it’s still a good sign. I am also getting moments where my entire focus is absorbing into the rom rom. There is no recognition of who I am, or where I am. It’s complete absorption into the jaap. Those moments are the best. I usually have to set an alarm nowadays because I don’t know how long I would be out for. Things keep getting better. However, I have been regretting packing up my schedule so much. Most of the time I just feel like ditching all of my work and just doing saas saas and rom rom. I just need to finish up the last bit of work and then I’ll have complete freedom starting Aug 2 until school starts in september. I think the major gains will happen during that time. Kaal is really starting to fight back now. The mind felt stable for so long. But these past few days I have been finding myself in situations that are triggering some thoughts. I don’t know how the idea of “tests” work as per gurmat. But essentially I have been in a few very bad circumstances recently where I found out close friends were doing nindhia/spreading lies about me. Social issues that are over 3 years old resurfacing, etc. So I have been trying to avoid people as much as possible. And then focusing on the jaap if any thoughts arise. The boat flipped over yesterday and I caught myself in some negative thoughts. This hasn’t happened in so long so a lot of concern arose from that. I had to take time off of my studying to just do jaap and get back on track. But it’s a very good reminder that anything can happen at any time. You need to be very careful that you don’t slip. I’ve heard you risk losing everything in some situations.
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