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GurpreetKaur

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  1. Like
    GurpreetKaur reacted to Sat1176 in Jaap before Sleeping - Great Idea   
    I've tried numerous times to find that change over spot but have never been successful. Either I probably stop japping or missed it and fell asleep. Anyone been successful?
  2. Like
    GurpreetKaur reacted to Rock in Jaap before Sleeping - Great Idea   
    Great read , on chapter 2 currently.
  3. Like
    GurpreetKaur reacted to Sat1176 in Jaap before Sleeping - Great Idea   
    http://api.ning.com/files/EQHcdzFMqFST60BaxROpWd3cwLbxoe367fHYM5UTSgVSrfP4v2uU4aLK5Y5V6TjXEXhFFXpVdjt7NByBtcsL9PcWLRGH-kVj/TheMantramHandbook.pdf
  4. Like
    GurpreetKaur reacted to paapiman in Jaap before Sleeping - Great Idea   
    Ref: The Mantram Handbook
     
    Bhul chuk maaf
  5. Like
    GurpreetKaur got a reaction from BhagatSingh in Discussion on Bullying, Nindya & How to handle Nindya like Bhagat Kabir Ji.   
    I think she is talking about situation where men control women so horribly that women have no choice but to listen to them and they cry whole night since they are trapped. You are talking about where a woman wants a guy who will not dominate her all the time but have a mentality that she can depend on him for her weakest points ( @CdnSikhGirl most of the women are sensitive and emotionally, physically weak by nature, some men are too but why do you think they say women are from Venus and men from Mars, I will never marry a guy who will Dominate me like crazy and I will never marry a guy who will listen to me like crazy with out using his own Mat). Obeying word is not used the way you think, lets put it that way if a woman choose to make sandwich she is not doing it since she is a "Doormat", that's her way to show love. Equal rights are already there, but you are giving opinion over a very very backward type of society, where women are being treated like crap and don't say nothing. It does not work in west that way and even in India too these days. 
    Men and women will never be equal. I will always and I mean always depend on my husband if I am being attached and he will always depend on me for making a Family. We need to put a petition so god can provide equal rights so after marriage me and my husband can share monthly pain and even labor pain. 
    That's it, "Love". Women are not dumb, when they "listen" to their husbands they do it so they can make them happy and only happiness brings more love in relationship. And yes men do things for women too, their way is different you just need to see it. Our ancestors mothers when said "hanji" to everything were not being doormats and when our ancestors fathers said " my order" in anger they were not being true Sikhs either. 
  6. Like
    GurpreetKaur reacted to CdnSikhGirl in Women and Turban = No.   
    My final words on this topic: 
    I am female and I am tying a turban and nobody will stop me.  I dont care if someone think I am a transexual. I am not.  My husband specifically wanted a turban wearing Singhni and he the most amazing person ever.  He wanted a spiritual partner and not a model.  
    There is nothing in any rehet maryada saying women can not. And in fact there is evidence pointing to the fact that women *should* tie one. Not mandatory, but its suggested in several rhetnamas with the wording *should* in reference to women tying one.  
    I chose to follow that *should* and so I do.  
    If another girl chooses not to, that is her choice.  Most don't.  I understand their decision.  Majority of them want hairstyles, and to be able to dress up and look pretty.  For myself, I am not drawn to makeup, or lots of jewelry (I do wear a necklace once in awhile). And I want to keep my kesh protected which I don't cut because I am Amritdhari.  I also like that I can move around freely without worrying about a chunni falling off.  At home I use those expandable bandanas that cover your whole top of your head.  But in public I always have turban on for the last 2 full years now.  I don't ever intend to stop. 
  7. Like
    GurpreetKaur reacted to BhagatSingh in Discussion on Bullying, Nindya & How to handle Nindya like Bhagat Kabir Ji.   
    Husbands will do that, if their wife takes control, they will let her and become passive themselves.
    The wife's ancestors, her "mothers", have selected for men that were leaders, that were high testosterone-filled men, who lead them. Over a period of millions of years, through the current of evolution, her being has developed to seek men who are leaders because that benefits her the most.
    Her being tells her that her husband should be a strong leader. So when the wife takes control and starts leading her husband, what does she feel?
    She no longer feels satisfied, she no longer feels happy, and she loses her attraction for him.
    She feels stuck.
    She also feels betrayed because her husband, who was leading and courting her before marriage, is no longer leading her now. He seems different after marriage.
     
    Why do you think 70-80%of divorces are initiated by women?
    This is because they have fundamentally lost attraction for their men.
     
    Why do you think women's happiness has dropped in the past several decades of feminist teaching instead of increasing due to it?
    This is because they are no longer happy with the arrangement that is most fundamental to the experience of a woman - her relationship with her partner.
     
    Look at this video - This is not a Christian Pasture talking, this is a Feminist talking about this phenomenon.
     
  8. Like
    GurpreetKaur reacted to BhagatSingh in Discussion on Bullying, Nindya & How to handle Nindya like Bhagat Kabir Ji.   
    One person is always backing down. If you are leading, your partner is backing down.
    If both of you want to lead equally badly, then you will get this -
     
  9. Like
    GurpreetKaur reacted to BhagatSingh in Discussion on Bullying, Nindya & How to handle Nindya like Bhagat Kabir Ji.   
    I find your use the term 'doormat' rather interesting. I find that this term is not only demeaning to our/ my ancestral mothers but also it is demeaning to any person who follows.
    For example, an ideal sikh follows the guru all the time.
    Guru sahib says that we should follow waheguru as a wife follows her husband.
    ਜੇ ਧਨ ਖਸਮੈ ਚਲੈ ਰਜਾਈ ॥ ਦਰਿ ਘਰਿ ਸੋਭਾ ਮਹਲਿ ਬੁਲਾਈ ॥ ਨਾਨਕ ਕਰਮੀ ਇਹ ਮਤਿ ਪਾਈ ॥
    The sohagan-khasam (wife-husband) relationship is talked about at length in gurbani and it becomes blueprint for the life of a sikh-guru, sikh-god relationship.

    So is the ideal sikh a doormat?
    Is guru sahib saying wives are doormats?
    Is guru sahib a doormat because he too follows?
     
    Where does that leave us?
    How does 'doormat' help us understand what is going on here?
    It neither helps us understand the husband-wife relationship, nor does it help us understand gurbani, which uses this husband-wife as teaching for sikhs.
    That's the end of discussion isn't it? I can't see where we would go from 'doormat'. At least, it's a not a pleasant place to go, is it?
     
    So this type of terminology doesn't help because not only does it not accurately describe what we are discussing, it also leads to place where there can be no honest discussion about the topic, which is already quite nuanced so as to be easily cluttered.
    Meaning that this topic is like a flower, when handled roughly, the flower is destroyed.
  10. Like
    GurpreetKaur reacted to CdnSikhGirl in Discussion on Bullying, Nindya & How to handle Nindya like Bhagat Kabir Ji.   
    @delibeli Actually no my husband and his whole family believe in equality.  My husband and I are actually so well tuned that we practically finish each other sentences. He actually works with women empowerment and he actively fights for equal rights of women including in Sikhi. I am very fortunate he is my husband!!  He is an amazing person. Some of the guys on here would think that because he doesn't order me around, that somehow I am using my husband as a doormat. I am not.  Full equality of husband and wife are totally possible! I don't think I am exaggerating when I say that rather than one of us dying for the other in a fight, we'd rather fight side by side and die together. THATS how close we are. I can't explain it. We have a spiritual connection that is beyond words.  
    Exactly you hit the nail on the head. Marriage is about LOVE and CARE for EACH OTHER.  It's not about who is in charge and barking orders. 
    Also I never understood this idea that in a partnership of only two that one person always has to lead and the other always has to follow.  It can work when both are leaders. They will divert to each other and lead together.  Butting heads will only ever happen if husband and wife are so out of tune with each other that they can't agree on something. If they love each other they will compromise. Maybe one time he will and the next time she will. More often than not, they will both prefer to give the other what they want and then the issue is not that each wants their own way but that each wants the other to!  LOL.  Yes this has happened.  Small story:

    At a restaurant, Chinese.  I wanted springrolls. He was trying to get me to select something less greasy and more healthy he had something he wanted to order.  But I had not eaten much the few days prior and spring rolls really sounded good.  I didn't know what else to order so I told him to pick something then because I really didn't know what else I wanted.  Know what happened? We got the springrolls AND what he was wanting. LOL And we both enjoyed both! hahaha
  11. Like
    GurpreetKaur reacted in Discussion on Bullying, Nindya & How to handle Nindya like Bhagat Kabir Ji.   
    Don't forget Satkirin she is always being bullied as well. 
  12. Like
    GurpreetKaur reacted to Rock in Discussion on Bullying, Nindya & How to handle Nindya like Bhagat Kabir Ji.   
    I am totally saving this.
  13. Like
  14. Like
    GurpreetKaur reacted to BhagatSingh in Discussion on Bullying, Nindya & How to handle Nindya like Bhagat Kabir Ji.   
    Bingo that's the difference.
    She was responding to a remark that I made tongue-in-cheek. I was on the receiving end of her comment, and I knew she also meant it tongue-in-cheek.
    There is a difference between poking fun and nindya. Just like there difference between friends teasing each other and bullying. Gurpreet and I are friends teasing each other's gender.
     
    On the thread where I called you a femininst, I was trying to explain to you that because you are a femininst, any anti-male joke you make, will not be seen as a joke. It will be seen as distasteful. Now there I had to point that out to you because you were accusing everyone of sexism for not taking your joke as a joke.
    Do you see the difference?
    When Gurpreet says what she says, she does not mean it. When you say something similar, that can't be perceived the same way.
    Similar to if a Brahmin/Scholar calls a Shudra/Labourer stupid. The Brahmin might be joking. And he might say "I am just joking". But it won't be perceived that way. It will be very distasteful.
    If a Shudra calls another Shudra stupid, and says it's just a joke. Then it's not distasteful.
     
    Repetition is also a factor. Bringing previous bitterness to other threads is nindya.
    Like if I call someone blind in one thread, and the blind person responds back. And then I respond, and then he does, back and forth. Then that's a conversation. I made a mistake but that conversation was the end of that.
    BUT if I start repeating that he is blind everywhere. If I start going to other threads, and I start saying "this guy is blind". Then that is going into nindya, bullying territory. It's no longer a mistake, it's deliberate bullying.
    Unless he finds it funny and we are friends, it is bullying.
  15. Like
    GurpreetKaur reacted to BhagatSingh in Discussion on Bullying, Nindya & How to handle Nindya like Bhagat Kabir Ji.   
    Manukh means man.
    Woman is womb-man, is man with womb.
  16. Like
    GurpreetKaur reacted to Rock in Discussion on Bullying, Nindya & How to handle Nindya like Bhagat Kabir Ji.   
    Everyone is a man. Some are seed-men and some are womb-men.  ;)                 /jk/s
  17. Like
    GurpreetKaur reacted to BhagatSingh in Discussion on Bullying, Nindya & How to handle Nindya like Bhagat Kabir Ji.   
    A lot of English comes from Sanskrit. There was a certain lady who was laying it into Dasam Granth, and she said, it has English words so it cannot be written in 1600s.
    She didn't know English words came from Sanskrit and the writers of Dasam Granth were writing Sanskrit words.
    E.g. - Mother, material, measure, "mother nature"  come from the sanskrit  Matr ਮਾਤ੍ਰ - also Ma, Maya
    That's why in Gurbani Maya is called our mother, and Hari, our father.
    Manukhi jaat means mankind. human also means man. Humankind - manukhi jaat
    It's like what Paapiman said -
    Forget definitions.
    All he is really saying is that women are not men. That's it.
    His mom was not a man. ;)
     
    It's the broad use of man vs a narrow use of man. The broad use of man also includes womb-man. But the narrow use of man, includes only those that don't have womb.
     
    "Practice makes the man perfect"
    Is this broad use of man or narrow use of man?
  18. Like
    GurpreetKaur reacted to BhagatSingh in Discussion on Bullying, Nindya & How to handle Nindya like Bhagat Kabir Ji.   
    That's will be hard, even for me. You gotta lift smaller weights first.
    Yea you can't keep quiet. You will have to respond to them but you have you have to respond from a pure being. Speak from a place of sharing. You are sharing who you are with them.
    How to purify the being?
    Do lots of meditation because meditation will purify that being.
    For example -
    When we become angry, we often feel anger in a really messed up way. We feel a whole bunch of emotions alongside anger, so our anger becomes cluttered. And we try to resist the anger or deny the anger as well. There is no space in the body to store the anger, thus the body becomes uncomfortable.
    Basically there's a bunch of crap alongside our anger.
    I have noticed that sometimes when I become angry, and someone says "you are angry. why are you angry?"
    I deny it. I say "I am not angry, it's that you are being annoying", or this or that. Sometimes when I am angry I think a whole bunch of other shit to fuel the anger. There is a lot of accusatory language to try to blame the anger on the other person.
    All of this clutters the anger and takes away the purity of being.
    Instead of denying anger, be anger. "I am angry right now." Be only anger and nothing else. Do not think other thoughts to fuel anger, just feel anger. And learn to be purely angry.
    This is a pure state of being.
  19. Like
    GurpreetKaur reacted to Rock in Discussion on Bullying, Nindya & How to handle Nindya like Bhagat Kabir Ji.   
    @BhagatSingh    But how do you take this in a real life work scenario .  How do you handle an angry supervisor or a colleague who tries to put you down for any reason. In that scenario, a little resilience is needed. How do you keep your thoughts Nirvair when you are angry at them. And keeping quiet is not an option since you might be seen as weak or doormat.
  20. Like
    GurpreetKaur reacted to BhagatSingh in Discussion on Bullying, Nindya & How to handle Nindya like Bhagat Kabir Ji.   
    Lol.
    Another related reference is the Hulk from Avengers.
    Banner says "That's my secret captain, I am always angry"
    And then he immediately transforms into the Hulk and punches the alien monster that is charging at him.
    This has spiritual significance.
    Hulk is the manifestation of anger as a physical phenomenon. Banner realizes that the Hulk is a part of him and that Hulk's essence is anger. So when he goes into his essence "I am always angry" ie "I am always that essence", then Hulk's power becomes his power and Hulk no longer has any power over Banner.
    For us that essence is the Atma. When we go into our essence, we become Atma (angry) then we become Parm Atma (Hulk).
     
    Speaking of anger, notice how the DBZ characters (Goku, etc) also gain power like this. They generate anger by screaming loudly. After hours of screaming, become purely angry (and also lose their voice), and because they have trained to be pure in thought, they harness the power of the anger, instead of letting the anger drain them.
  21. Like
    GurpreetKaur reacted to Rock in Discussion on Bullying, Nindya & How to handle Nindya like Bhagat Kabir Ji.   
    I really like this concept and my takeaway is to go to the level of thoughts and try to keep them pure regardless of what anybody says. And I like this idea of absorbing someones power haha.  Its kinda like Cell from DBZ ;)
  22. Like
    GurpreetKaur reacted to BhagatSingh in Discussion on Bullying, Nindya & How to handle Nindya like Bhagat Kabir Ji.   
    Lol you won't have to actively seek out your enemies. Your enemies will seek you.
    Yes you simply see them as a part of you. If they are a part of you, any energy they have is your energy.
  23. Like
    GurpreetKaur reacted to BhagatSingh in Discussion on Bullying, Nindya & How to handle Nindya like Bhagat Kabir Ji.   
    I actually think my articulation is terrible, not at the level I want, and I see my posts as practicing my articulation.
    It is a lot less tiring nowadays.  Before it used to be extremely tiring for me.
    I started to notice that on some days I posted, it was not tiring. On other days I posted and it was extremely tiring and would leave me exhausted. And I paid attention to that.
    On the days it was tiring, I was fighting people and resisting them. Even on days I was being polite in the forums, I was fighting them in my thoughts. I was giving them my power and I was wasting a lot of energy in the process.
    I noticed that when I was pure in my thought and saw my posts as sharing (as opposed to resisting), a lot of wasted energy was saved. These days went by effortlessly.
    Now I try to conserve energy by being like what Kabir ji is describing above. The same principle that he used to absorb the nindak's power is what I use to save my energy.
  24. Like
    GurpreetKaur reacted to BhagatSingh in Discussion on Bullying, Nindya & How to handle Nindya like Bhagat Kabir Ji.   
    Only if you maintain a pure heart during and after they slander you, meaning you do not slander them back even in your thoughts. If you maintain that type of purity of your thought, then it spiritually elevates your mental state. You will feel stronger as if you have absorbed their energy.
    A good metaphor for this is the Vanar King Vali from the story of Ramayan. He had the boon to absorb half of his opponent's power. Whoever fought him, could not defeat him because he could simply absorb their strength. How can that be?
    What a slanderer is doing is that they are giving you their power when they think ill of you or say terrible things to you. When you slander them back, you reject their gift of power, thus nullifying the effect of the boon. However if you accept their gift, you can absorb the slanderer's power and add it to yourself.
    This was Vali's secret.
    This is also a phenomenon they know about in martial arts.
     
    Below Bhagat Kabir ji describes this in his own way -

    ਗਉੜੀ ॥
    गउड़ी ॥
    Ga▫oṛī.
    Gauree:

    ਨਿੰਦਉ ਨਿੰਦਉ ਮੋ ਕਉ ਲੋਗੁ ਨਿੰਦਉ ॥
    निंदउ निंदउ मो कउ लोगु निंदउ ॥
    Ninḏa▫o ninḏa▫o mo ka▫o log ninḏa▫o.
    Slander me, slander me - go ahead, people, and slander me.

    ਨਿੰਦਾ ਜਨ ਕਉ ਖਰੀ ਪਿਆਰੀ ॥
    निंदा जन कउ खरी पिआरी ॥
    Ninḏā jan ka▫o kẖarī pi▫ārī.
    Slander is pleasing to the Lord's humble servant.

    ਨਿੰਦਾ ਬਾਪੁ ਨਿੰਦਾ ਮਹਤਾਰੀ ॥੧॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥
    निंदा बापु निंदा महतारी ॥१॥ रहाउ ॥
    Ninḏā bāp ninḏā mėhṯārī. ||1|| rahā▫o.
    Slander is my father, slander is my mother. ||1||Pause||

    ਨਿੰਦਾ ਹੋਇ ਤ ਬੈਕੁੰਠਿ ਜਾਈਐ ॥
    निंदा होइ त बैकुंठि जाईऐ ॥
    Ninḏā ho▫e ṯa baikunṯẖ jā▫ī▫ai.
    If I am slandered, I go to heaven;

    ਨਾਮੁ ਪਦਾਰਥੁ ਮਨਹਿ ਬਸਾਈਐ ॥
    नामु पदारथु मनहि बसाईऐ ॥
    Nām paḏārath manėh basā▫ī▫ai.
    the wealth of the Naam, the Name of the Lord, abides within my mind.

    ਰਿਦੈ ਸੁਧ ਜਉ ਨਿੰਦਾ ਹੋਇ ॥
    रिदै सुध जउ निंदा होइ ॥
    Riḏai suḏẖ ja▫o ninḏā ho▫e.
    If my heart is pure, and I am slandered,

    ਹਮਰੇ ਕਪਰੇ ਨਿੰਦਕੁ ਧੋਇ ॥੧॥
    हमरे कपरे निंदकु धोइ ॥१॥
    Hamre kapre ninḏak ḏẖo▫e. ||1||
    then the slanderer washes my clothes. ||1||

    ਨਿੰਦਾ ਕਰੈ ਸੁ ਹਮਰਾ ਮੀਤੁ ॥
    निंदा करै सु हमरा मीतु ॥
    Ninḏā karai so hamrā mīṯ.
    One who slanders me is my friend;

    ਨਿੰਦਕ ਮਾਹਿ ਹਮਾਰਾ ਚੀਤੁ ॥
    निंदक माहि हमारा चीतु ॥
    Ninḏak māhi hamārā cẖīṯ.
    the slanderer is in my thoughts.

    ਨਿੰਦਕੁ ਸੋ ਜੋ ਨਿੰਦਾ ਹੋਰੈ ॥
    निंदकु सो जो निंदा होरै ॥
    Ninḏak so jo ninḏā horai.
    The slanderer is the one who prevents me from being slandered.

    ਹਮਰਾ ਜੀਵਨੁ ਨਿੰਦਕੁ ਲੋਰੈ ॥੨॥
    हमरा जीवनु निंदकु लोरै ॥२॥
    Hamrā jīvan ninḏak lorai. ||2||
    The slanderer wishes me long life. ||2||

    ਨਿੰਦਾ ਹਮਰੀ ਪ੍ਰੇਮ ਪਿਆਰੁ ॥
    निंदा हमरी प्रेम पिआरु ॥
    Ninḏā hamrī parem pi▫ār.
    I have love and affection for the slanderer.

    ਨਿੰਦਾ ਹਮਰਾ ਕਰੈ ਉਧਾਰੁ ॥
    निंदा हमरा करै उधारु ॥
    Ninḏā hamrā karai uḏẖār.
    Slander is my salvation.

    ਜਨ ਕਬੀਰ ਕਉ ਨਿੰਦਾ ਸਾਰੁ ॥
    जन कबीर कउ निंदा सारु ॥
    Jan Kabīr ka▫o ninḏā sār.
    Slander is the best thing for servant Kabeer.

    ਨਿੰਦਕੁ ਡੂਬਾ ਹਮ ਉਤਰੇ ਪਾਰਿ ॥੩॥੨੦॥੭੧॥
    निंदकु डूबा हम उतरे पारि ॥३॥२०॥७१॥
    Ninḏak dūbā ham uṯre pār. ||3||20||71||
    The slanderer is drowned, while I am carried across. ||3||20||71||
     
  25. Like
    GurpreetKaur reacted to Rock in Discussion on Bullying, Nindya & How to handle Nindya like Bhagat Kabir Ji.   
    Also if someone is doing your nindya then he or she is indirectly washing your dirt.  It could be a good thing in disguise. Just saying not promoting Nindya
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