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lostsikh

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About lostsikh

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    Nayana Bacha||Nayani Bachi

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  1. I found this video on facebook today and i couldn't stop laughing. I was so shocked it was a Sikh couple. Its amazing and i don't know what to say. https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=520235728325787&id=494635264219167
  2. Bro thanks this movie has impacted me a lot and i feel clearer today compared to before
  3. Bro thanks a lot out of all the movies i have seen they have made me more lustful with songs and on screen kaam. However as you judging by your posts seem a highly religious person gave a recommendation of this movie i thought lets watch it. As i have just watched it without spoiling the great movie. It showed me never to fall in love with anyone as kaam is a hell and worse the movie as a anti love story rather than promoting love stories. Although it is quite ahead and unsuitable for a family film it hits hard the message. The way it is made has showed me never to ever look at a girl ever again in a lustful way. Bro you have opened my eyes with this movie. From now if i love the main character from the movie i will never desire love from lust kaam but from Waheguru. Thanks from the bottom pits of my heart. I will aslo try to read the chirtars you have posted when i get a chance.
  4. Bro thanks its so nice to read and uplifting as it shows the nasty side to what i wanted. Very hard hitting read.
  5. Bro you are right. I however had thought that like after a shoot off over porn cam i go back to normal. So i thought it will be like that in out thing and me following sikhi. Believe me if this desire is out of my system if done i will be free and became amritdhari fully. But i could be addicated to escorts after like drugs. Also it does sound scary to burn my karmas especially good ones .
  6. Right now i am thinking that for so many years i have had these mental blockages thoughts that are distrubing me which is based on my desire to just have sex with a good looking blonde gori. I know it sounds disgusting but i feel like if i let this desire out just once. I am hoping it will clear out my thoughts and i will have a fresh start in my life free these blocks described. I have stood naked infront webcams and chat lines and what differences does it make if i just do it once in ral life. I feel like these thoughts are like a something stuck in my nails which need to be pulled out or like a pin stuck needing release or like the uncomfortable feeling before doing vomiting. I would like to is being a virgin really important ? Does it even effect persons spritualty ? I mean can't have i have a fresh start after letting my dirty desire out in real life and afterwoods leading a Gursikh lifestyle ? I mean i have seen so many people who have done worse things then me like conning people drugs everything and they became amritdhari gursikhs afterwoods. What are sangats views on this please post or pm me i really need gudience with this after this thought i which i have written.
  7. Thank God this is just thoughts at the moment and nothing partical has been done. It is really scary listening to this.
  8. Bro you are right it is nasty to look at those images on google images on herpes. It is sickening a right turn off. Anyways i am happy yet disapointed as i was talking to my fav sex chatline girl and long story short i was reading her reviews which another caller gave. So before she used to say i am her fav caller stud etc. When i asked her who was better me or him she said both of you as he has been on for 10 years and i have 5/6 years. I feel so disapointed that i used to jerk over her and have fantsies over her and wasted time and money over her. But it is safe to say i don't ever feel like using chatlines ever again. This is one of my strongest vices every time i saw her online on the page i would you know go for it call her but after this experince never again. I am so glad that i am free from her and this is a step forward to my chatline addication. Thank God Waheguru
  9. Today i broke my fast (physical action) after 2/3 weeks it felt like a build to nothing after the pleasure was over. A little bit by bit grows into this which happened today me using a chatline. During the last few days i was again watching porn and looking at profiles again then today it exploded by using the chatline especially when i saw my fav operator online. It is worse when i am home alone and nobody to stop me. But i need to fix up on this. Even though now i feel dirty and worthless after commiting this flith act.
  10. Bro you are right last night got too much. I will try to control these urges and you are correct after a few mins the pleasure is gone and it feels horrible as it just the build up which is the misguide. You are right last night as i typed her number last night i felt like i was throwing away everything i have done good like my bhagati and good karams. I couldn't go through with it. I don't mind getting married but i think i have a Blonde white girl feitsh as i always get turned on by it whenever i see one outside in public place. I worry even after marriage i will have the same problem. I have felt like this since last 13 years. The smartphone pc is making me watch this flith and destroying me
  11. Oh Waheguru i screwed up again tonight. I got tempted to look at webcams and one thing led to another as my fav girl was online today. I made the mistake of looking at a escort page and in madness ended up sending her a text for a meet up. But luckly i got no reply as it is late night message and i will block her number just in case. The temptation urges were very very strong she was a blonde just the type i fantise about. As i shoot my load i couldn't go with it. Oh i feel so dirty now and ashamed of it. And i don't have the strength and i can't let my sikh idenity be destroyed by this. These are thoughts are right now that are troubling but only Waheguru can save me
  12. Bro you are right i will try to listen to more katha and try a different Gurdwara for good sangat
  13. Bro the only true sangat i found is on here so far. I can say what i am thinking. And katha is good is i like and religious books as well. It is hard to find good sangat but see how it goes
  14. Bro i live in the Uk. You are right i will try to read more gurbani, listen to katha etc. I will also try to find good sangat. Its just that i have no friends at all. I have been a lonley person since last 13 years. I have no social life. I never go out to clubs pubs etc. At the local gurdwara i have always get annoyed cos the ladies or sewadar make unpleasent comments and i don't like going there cos of it. I mean these lustful thoughts come and go and they don't distrub me 24/7. Luckly i keep my full kes bread and don't eat meat or alchool. I do try to do paath but i get critised for it as my mum sister say it is making me more angry hate filled egostic etc.
  15. Bro thanks for the link You are right i will look into it. Also i don't have a good relationship with my disfunctional family. I also get angry quite quickly as well. It is like i am meant to be felt like i have no voice. Or that my views are not valued. I give a example i have a few people i really don't get along with at all believe me via family. Everytime i see one of them or vists at home. I expected to behave in a very friendly way even though after he or she has left my parents make big talks oh he said this she said that. And if i don't talk in their way i get curcifed as soon as the person has left. For these reasons i get angry and my mum is the worest one it is like she makes herself a victim in all of this. She makes my life hell over these people saying oh you don't know when we might need somebody. I believe in Waheguru alone. These circle of abuse from home has made me view girls as escorts. Like when going for aranged marriage a boy is asked his wages job education etc. This nasty views by families have created this idea or thought about escorts. I have been through a horrible childhood at school and watched abuse at home. Everytime i would make a mistake as all kids would do. I would be given hell. Mum always says "if you are wrong i will not take your side." "I don't want to make you a theif criminal" This has made me feel horrible as i have seen kids and family members who despite being wrong, their mum and dad don't say nothing. This has created more hate inside me and towards people i don't get along with. And nowdays it is soo much tension at home and i stay away from they in my room whenever my parents are at home.
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