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lostsikh

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Everything posted by lostsikh

  1. I hope i understand that the consequences of my actions are bad when ever i have a pervert attack. And look twice in the mirror and contact the crisis line that these are thoughts voices that are going on.
  2. Thats a really good point which i have never thought about at all. I mean the sexual stuff is wrong i am now understanding it. But to me the death suicide beheading executions videos are not wrong at all as its the world that made me like this loving death. I mean death vids are the best i have watched once more than 20 in a row of both suicide and beheadings. I mean surly if this dirty filthy side didn't exist for me i would be happy. But death vids are way better plus i don't have to pay for any of the material.
  3. I am a disgusting human being i have even looked at men walking down the street and finding myself attracted to them. I am a big filthy excuse of a human.
  4. Thats really nice and good advice my fellow bro. I hope it comes true as i have deceived myself along with my identity. I feel really bad after i commit a sin that its like a loop circle.
  5. You are 100 percent right i am all of these things as i need to look in the mirror before i ever do those pervert acts
  6. I feel like everyone is against me on here . I mean i am gonna try to improve myself as i haven't looked at porn or any related material since a week now
  7. I am a sinner i admit. I am a false sikh and i hide my dirty secrets from the world. But i need help with my problems.
  8. You are right i am a c**t especially as i wear the dastar and i am using hookers,webcams,pornos, phonelines etc. And recently i have even started to wear nail polish and started to watch gay stuff now as well. You know how embarrassing it is when to buy Viagra from the chemist as i feel really sad when I have to go to the shit that i do I also want to take amrit as well but these voices urges kick in then its horrible.
  9. Yes its wrong i know what i am doing its disgusting behaviour especially as i wear seeing them a full beard and turban. I live in the UK and its shameful that i have done the things i have been doing.
  10. True you are right bro i do need to fix up. Especially the gundh i come up with is sick i admit. Its just the death vids that i don't want to give up as i feel i am in love with them. I keep my full kesh no shaving or cutting and wear a turban. But still sikhsangat should give me a chance as i like that site.
  11. I don't know to be honest as i still love watching those death vids a lot. Plus i don't know what opression means. I try to stop the voices when it comes to the sexual stuff in my head as thats torture
  12. True bro i am banned from sikhsangat from even registering. Those people running it are scum. Its all true the pyscharcist said i got ocd and am stuck in the past due to the ptsd. You are right i am misusing the voices as a excuse especially the behaviours i display
  13. Yes i have seen psychiatrist about it and they have given me cariprazine and .paroxetine But still i get urges of sexual stuff and death vids
  14. I heard about how that as well especially as i usually the reviews on a website
  15. You are right i agree with you. I do need to think a lot about this but then i hear loud voices which are scary to be around. STDs are a scary thing but the voices are worse asking me to look at the stuff i do
  16. Thanks brother your advice is correct compared to the mad nazis on sikhsangat who will let me sign up for the site.
  17. Beautiful advice brother i am hoping this will help me.
  18. Nowdays i have even started to watch gay porn vids along with suicide, beheading material as well. I look at someone to then straight at the throat to strike them like in the vids. My desire for sex is still there especially as my last punt didn't go to plan as i wanted it to.
  19. Thanks for the link bro i will look at it
  20. Well i am back now everyone. I am feeling more of a wreck now more than ever especially since i have visited quite a few escorts and one yesterday for which i am now hearing voices about how bad it i have sinned. My moods are at a all time low now. I can't even get a erecation hard on without taking Viagra for sex due to the pills i am taking. Will i ever be forgiven for this sin ? Will anyone from the sangat help me ?
  21. I found this video on facebook today and i couldn't stop laughing. I was so shocked it was a Sikh couple. Its amazing and i don't know what to say. https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=520235728325787&id=494635264219167
  22. Bro thanks this movie has impacted me a lot and i feel clearer today compared to before
  23. Bro thanks a lot out of all the movies i have seen they have made me more lustful with songs and on screen kaam. However as you judging by your posts seem a highly religious person gave a recommendation of this movie i thought lets watch it. As i have just watched it without spoiling the great movie. It showed me never to fall in love with anyone as kaam is a hell and worse the movie as a anti love story rather than promoting love stories. Although it is quite ahead and unsuitable for a family film it hits hard the message. The way it is made has showed me never to ever look at a girl ever again in a lustful way. Bro you have opened my eyes with this movie. From now if i love the main character from the movie i will never desire love from lust kaam but from Waheguru. Thanks from the bottom pits of my heart. I will aslo try to read the chirtars you have posted when i get a chance.
  24. Bro thanks its so nice to read and uplifting as it shows the nasty side to what i wanted. Very hard hitting read.
  25. Bro you are right. I however had thought that like after a shoot off over porn cam i go back to normal. So i thought it will be like that in out thing and me following sikhi. Believe me if this desire is out of my system if done i will be free and became amritdhari fully. But i could be addicated to escorts after like drugs. Also it does sound scary to burn my karmas especially good ones .
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