Soulfinder

Here is a copy of my letter with my diagnosis from the psychiatrist as its not pleasant what i am currently going through. 

58 minutes ago, Kaur10 said:

It’s sad that a nice person like you have to go through all of this. It seems like your symptoms are not stable.  Do you take your medicine daily without missing any dose? Do you eat freshly cooked food or processed food? Do you have any good circle of friends or supportive family?

Veer, do you do any physical exercise or go to gym? 
 

i think i can help you if you help yourself. At least we can give it a go. 

Its horrible bhen ji what i am going through its not pleasant. I do take my meds on time everyday and night.

The psychiatrists i have seen throughout the last almost 6 years i have made formal complaints to the team about 3 of the staff members as its not a pleasant experience to go through. 

Food wise bhen ji its usually my mum that does the cooking and i usually eat roti,bread etc. I don't eat meat,fish or egg. No alcohol either. I usually eat my mum's meals which are fresh. I have though made frozen food for myself at times.

My social circle is not really good as i don't have that many friends but i do speak to a few people throughout the years. My thiya and grandma is the only ones who know my depression secret as I don't want others to know about it at all. My rest of the family outside my parents is nasty to say due to my experience with them.

I want to lose weight cos my clothes aren't fitting me anymore so i think its either the pills or fatigue i get that my energy levels don't let me exercise or go to the gym. But its something i want to lose my weight as i am 34 now.

Nowdays its the banis paaths that are helping me but i still need to go outside which I don't want to do for a while now.

1 hour ago, Kaur10 said:

I am glad you got someone good.  Health professionals play major part in treating any illness but in kalyug it seems like many are present at work only for their wages.  I have personally witnessed it and feel they look down on mental health patients.  At the same time, we (me and my team) are always very respectful and helpful to our patients but sometimes feel hurt by their misbehaviour.  

Medicine alone is not enough to treat or even relieve chronic symptoms.  Drs don't have time to explain everything due to increased workload, staff-shortage, family issues, work politics etc. , and all this is resulting in reduced patient care.  

In hurry, would add more later

Bhen ji i saw the psychiatrist on last Wednesday and i am awaiting for the clinical letter report to the gp dr. But he said to increase quetiapine from 50mg to 100mg and aripiprazole 30mg to finish in 3 weeks like 10mg drop every week until finish. 

The medication i am taking and am given in monthly doses is Diazepam 5mg,Duloxetine 120mg,Promethazine hydrochloride 25mg,Propranolol 40mg,Sodium valproate 500mg,Zopiclone 7.5mg. This is the stuff i am taking along with iron ferrous 200mg, vitamin d iu1000 which i take everyday.

Its not easy what you have written about working in this type of job role. 

2 hours ago, Kaur10 said:

I forget a lot as worked in a non-clinical setting for nearly four years. 

I have experienced depression and PTSD myself and seen someone very closely beating depression + anxiety + panic attacks + body dysmorphic disorder.  Lifestyle intervention plays its part but it is very hard work.  It is like a full time job working on yourself.

Which medical condition are you suffering from? Is your condition stable? Have you tried to gradually reduce the dose? which withdrawal symptoms do you experience on reducing the dose if you have ever tried?  Have you ever been given lifestyle intervention by a health professional?

Bhen ji thats terrible that you have gone through depression and PTSD its horrible to think about. And have seen others go through the same its not pleasant.

1 hour ago, chintamatkaro said:

You are locked in the negative matrix that reincarnates souls against their will. You must break the curse by earnestly praying to dasme paatshah Guru Gobind Singh Ji Mahaaraaj da Maharaj. Also give daswandh to Gurughar and feed homeless people when you get a chance take it. All this will make you strong enough to tell those evil doctors that you had enough and you are healing your PTSD without these soul crushing meds. Waheguru Im Praying 4 U aatma ji

Waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh ji veer ji.

Thanks very much for praying for dass as i really thankful. Its a horrible situation that i feel like i am stuck in now. I would like to give my daswand to the gurdwara sahib but i haven't got any job or work at the moment. The jobcentre has declared me unfit for work so i am just getting my benefit money which is not a lot. But i do give any change i have to the homeless people i seen walking in the streets.

The reason this whole thing hit this bad with the nightmares is a topic i rather not go into to much on here as its a public page. So i will try to send you a private message for that. Yes it was a ardas that i did for my cousin that has backfired on me big time and is the reason that since last 10 years i am in the position i am in now.

The voices i have been hearing is not something i want to mention on here as I don't people think i am crazy or sick in the head cos i am not either of them.

@chintamatkaroveer ji thanks for replying its currently horrible the nightmares i get and how these things are not going away with all these flashbacks i get. 

Since you had PTSD i truly respect your views brother as you know exactly what I am going through at the moment especially since half of my life is a wreck with this illness. 

You are 100% correct that i need faith in Guru Sahib Ji not pills. As all they do is just make sleepy rather than help block the nasty stuff. 

Plus you are truly right that these pills are bs especially the side effects of them. I tried psychology and even that didn't help as well.

@chintamatkaroveer ji very interesting writings you have posted on here the site. 

Dass himself takes 2 antipsychotics along with antidepressant, mood stabiliser, sedatives and a benzodiazepine.

I have been on a number of antidepressants in the beginning but you are right the side effects were nasty with sertraline which was horrible as the headaches it caused were unbearable. I also had problems with mirtazapine,citalopram as well.

I give you credit about your views about psychiatrists as the first one in my treatment was horrible along with a few others i have been given. Even the therapists are equally bad as well.

Back to myself i suffer from ptsd depression and the psychiatrist said the psychosis i get is a extension of the ptsd that's what the shrink said. Luckly the last 2 psychiatrist i have seen are good talking wise but only Waheguru Guru Sahib Ji's kirpa will cure me one day as the medication side i have seen now.

48 minutes ago, GurjantGnostic said:

Preventable with exegesis of Bible and Guru Granth Sahib Ji. 

100% true veer ji

@Sajjan_Thugthanks for sharing veer ji especially since it is in English and its easier for dass to read 

1 hour ago, GurjantGnostic said:

Pedophiles 

Those people make me sick to my stomach 

6 hours ago, Guest Simran said:

I don’t have any work right and i am in a need of money. 
I am seeking only the help of Sri guru Granth sahib ji maharaj. But I don’t know which shabad to read apart from nitnem.

 

Waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh ji veer ji. 

Dass would recommend Thir Ghar Baiso Har Jan Pyare Shabad as it helped me a lot in the past especially with getting work job. But currently i am not working due to health issues and I am hoping to return back to work soon. 

But yes do look at this thread as it has a lot of good information 

IK DIN DE NITNEM NAAL .. || SANT GURBACHAN SINGH JI KHALSA BHINDRANWALE || DAMDAMI TAKSAL ||

Poorab Janam | Sant Baba Ajit Singh Ji Hansali Wale | Katha | Sant Giani Inderjeet Singh Raqbe Wale

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=j44yqXoZmGo

3 hours ago, HSD said:

 

Madness this is seeing this.

6 hours ago, Guest About braham kavach said:

Waheguru ji

can someone explain if women can do chandi di vaar path and braham kavach jaap during their menstruation cycle.

Waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh ji

Its fine bhen ji to play audio track of bramh kavach is ok. Its really good bhen ji that you are trying your best to read this mahaan bani keep it up !!!

4 hours ago, GurjantGnostic said:

So last night I fell asleep reading Vaaran Bhai Gurdas Ji. I was reading from the beginning. 

I got a bit past the Ang describing Vaheguru sending Guru Nanak Dev Ji to redeem the Kalyugh. 

My phone died but somehow I woke up perfectly on time. 

I had this feeling I wasn't going to work which is odd, because I did wake up, do Ishnaan and drive for an hour to work. Only to find I didn't have my safety boots. 

So I turn around after letting my boss know, and land right in the worst...bunper to bumper freeway traffic I've ever seen here. 

So I pull out of backed up traffic and treat myself by going to Gurudwara. 

I'm surprised to see a Gora Bhenji, and the kirtanis are just laying it down. 

Afterwards we're having a little Cha and Bhenji asks...Did you come for Guru Nanak Dev Jis Prakash?

And that's when it hit me. That's exactly why my morning was weird beyond what I described and I'm here. Apparently yes Bhenji, that's exactly why I'm here I just had no idea. 

Bwau Bgiq gurpurib kir nwmu dwnu iesnwnu idRVHwieAw[

bhaau bhagat gurapurab kar naam dhaan isanaan dhiraRhaiaa|

Now being full of loving devotion they celebrate the gurprubs (anniversaries of the Gurus) and their acts of rememberance of God, charity and holy ablutions, inspire others also.

pauVI 23 : guru Avqwr

pauRee 23 : gur avataar

Coming of the Guru

suxI pukwir dwqwr pRBu guru nwnk jg mwih pTwieAw[

sunee pukaar dhaataar prabh gur naanak jag maeh paThaiaa|

The benefactor Lord listened to the cries (of humanity) and sent Guru Nanak to this world.

...

kiljugu bwby qwirAw siq nwmu piVH mMqRü suxwieAw[

kalijug baabe taariaa sat naam paReh ma(n)tr sunaiaa|

Baba Nanak liberated this dark age (kaljug) and recited the mantra of satnaam for one and all.

kil qwrix guru nwnku AwieAw ]23]

kal taaran gur naanak aaiaa ||23||

Guru Nanak came to redeem the kaliyug.

Waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh ji veer ji. Its excellent stage of bhagati simran that you have achieved its all Waheguru Guru Sahib Ji's kirpa. Keeping doing ardas for further progress as this type of stages are not easily achievable without doing a lot of simran from previous janams and this current one.

55 minutes ago, Kaur10 said:

You would surely get the blessings as you are giving with good intention. 

I have observed  homeless drug addicts closely on daily basis due to my job role, they buy street drugs with the money and go to food bank for their food needs. Often, kind passer-by gave them food and clothes which they usually lost when high on drugs. Most of them are drug addicts but couldn’t help themselves getting out of drug habit. 
 

I am always respectful and kind to them, listen to them if they wanted to share anything or having a bad day but don’t like giving them money. 

I feel VERY SORRY for them but I personally think giving them money is not beneficial for their well-being.  

I may be wrong veerji, but wanted to share this with you. Bhul Chuk Maaf!

Wjkk wjkf bhen jj. I do agree with your points a lot. Its really a hard subject to me as its hard to work out what happens with the money given to them. 

I usually give them change whatever i usually have but the problem usually arises for me is when i see more than 1 then 2 or more homeless people on the street is then when i feel like that i don't have enough to give and help. 

The points regarding giving them food and clothes is quite a eye opener for me as what you have mentioned from personal experience as i didn't know that at all. And thanks for mentioning it as it will help me understand more about their usage of money. 

But its not a pleasant thing to see at all and wish to Waheguru that no one should end up in that type of situation ever at all as its a really upsetting scene.

Regarding food banks i am glad that exist and i know that our local Gurdwara and a few groups on Facebook are helping the homeless which seems like a good step to help them.

7 hours ago, GurjantGnostic said:

Get exercise clean, lift, walk, climb, jump, run, play with sticks. You weren't bored as a child. 

Give some mylar blankets to the homeless. 2 dollars each Veer Ji. Tooth brush. Floss sticks. Toilet paper. Hand sani, 1 liter waters. Not much just a few. Have a pocket full of change and go for a walk. Give to the most broken. 

Veer ji you are 100% correct i will try to follow these tips and hopefully i will feel better. As dass always likes to give a pound coin to the homeless people that are on the streets. I do wish i could do more but i don't have enough money for it at the moment.

Reading my personal selection of banis as i usually try everyday to do the followings banis in this order. First ishan usually a hour or 90mins before sunset. Then dass reads Chandi Di Vaar,Chandi Charitar 1(full path), Bhagauti Astotar, Shastar naam mala(27 pauris), almost a third of Sukhmani Sahib then sampat finished. The rest of the day i try to finish the remaining Sukhmani Sahib Ji paath then i do Jap Ji Sahib and finally Satta Balwand Di Vaar.

Thats my daily timetable. I do sometimes do the rest of the Panj Banis nitnem as well. But it depends on my energy levels. I have also done extra banis as well on different days like Bramh Kavach, Ugardanti,Akal Ustat (usually 3 or 4 days), Bavan Akhree,Sidh Gosht,Dakoni Onkar,Chandi Charitar 2, Zafarnama(in a week using audio tracks).

These paaths mentioned dass likes to think if it as a mix vegetable sabzi where everything is a mixture that dass has created due to my personal liking. 

Dass used to do Panj Banis everyday with Brahm Kavach, Shastar Naam Mala and Chandi Di Vaar and sometimes rarely Sukhmani Sahib Ji. 

Doing these banis paaths previously i wanted to expand and explore other banis so i made changes to the daily nitnem which currently dass just loves a lot.

Since doing these current paaths dass feels a lot more happier and cheerful especially as i have got depression with other similar health problems. 

Reading these banis everyday makes me feel more happy compared to taking diazepam, zopiclone etc. I don't feel like looking my phone as much as i used to. I have lost interest in watching movies, listening to music. As i will always give preference to reading these banis then indulge in watching tv shows or movies. 

I recently bought a new PlayStation 5 and luckly its not effected my pyar prem for doing Sri Dasam Granth Sahib Ji Banis even though a bought a few games as well lol.

Today dass missed his nitnem banis paaths due to a distraction of bad sangat from the television and its negative influence of time waste & bad waves on my mind thoughts etc.

How i feel today is like a fish who has been taken out of water and suffering is a exactly how i am feeling now. So much boredom being felt. Every minute and hour gone by seem like a century gone by.

7 hours ago, Guest Help needed said:

I am going through a financial downfall at this time and I can’t even express this feeling to anyone I know. As i read everyone’s post I thought maybe someone would be able to help to answer my question. 
Actually at this time all my hopes are on Gurbani. And only he knows and i also don’t skip my nitnem. 
If someone can tell me the shabad which I can practice to overcome this situation that would be very helpful and how to take proper benefit of Amrit vela as I am totally stressed at this point. 
 

I don’t know how to express my thoughts, I just did my best!