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Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh I need guidance, recently I feel down. I'm having problems with balancing Sikhi and normal daily tasks. Currently I am in my last year at university and have a lot of work, I also have OCD/Pure-O which means I get messed up thoughts and sometimes they really do get to me. I have quite a few problems so will try and shorten them down. I find it hard to do any path, even the shortest bania will take me a long time to do and whenever I do complete the bani instead of feeling at peace I get headaches. I would say it takes me 40 minutes to do Japji Sahib and 10 minutes to do Kirtan Sohila. It really annoys me that I can't do it my bania quicker, I have been doing this for two years and don't think I can carry on this the rest of my life. I just keep stopping and repeating some tuks over and over again because I feel I have pronounced it wrong and feel like Guru Ji is going to tell me off. Because of my OCD I find it hard to make a decision, I will spend a lot of time considering whether what i'm going to do is the best choice for my Sikhi. I just end up thinking about it all the time and just feel down and exhausted after. I can't control my kaam, every week I just end up going on the internet and doing bad stuff. After I feel sick and I feel I don't deserve to be a Sikh. I get some many bad thoughts, but Guru Ji kirpa I've learnt to live with them, but it kills me inside and makes me worried whenever I get a bad thought about Guru Ji, a mahapurkh or a Shaheed. When I sit down in the sangat it is more hard, my mind just says so many bad stuff about people. Also because of my OCD my mind is messed up, for example sometimes when looking up and where I look happens to be a girl, i automatically think I've done something bad. The time i do bania, are all over the place. I don't wake up at amrit vela and my evening path I sometimes do at 10/11pm. When I go uni sometimes I would reach home round 6/7 but I'm to tired and hungry to straight away to do my Rehras Sahib Ji, so i end up doing it late, sleep late and wake up late. I listen Rehras sahib Ji when travelling from back to uni but I feel guilty, and end up doing it later at home. Because of my OCD, I wash my hands alot and my skin gets bad after a few days. I also live in family which drinks and has meat, so I feel like stuff is contaminated. Currently i am not Amritdari and to be honest I hardly do any simran. My morning routine is: When I go uni I start path at 8 When i don't go uni start path about 11/12 Japji Sahib Jaap Sahib (listen and follow along as much as I can) Tav prasad savaiye Chaupai Sahib (listen and recite along) Anand Sahib (listen but when doing worldly things if at home or on the train) Hukamnama (if i have uni i will read it in the night) Evening Routine: Rehras Sahib Ji Night: Kirtan Sohila Hukamnama Katha Simran (10 minutes if lucky) I feel all over the place at the moment, and not even studying much because I can't find the right balance. Please forgive me if i said anything wrong, offensive or wasted your time. Sat Sri Akaal
WJKK WJKF ji, I'm an international student in US who used to be a really good student in Science. I came here to study strong fields of Computer Science which required to sell all property we had in India and also take debt. My parents only saw my dreams and sold all the property. After coming in the US, (I got into a few prestigious universities like UWaterloo) but chose an affordable one. The university is really for-money only and no education was found. I felt like cheated but couldn't do anything. I had no idea which University I should transfer to. I felt confused. I accepted it as Maharaj's Bhaana and attended this college. It's going to be almost an year. Really bad things happened with me I asked so many professors that I'm doing a research in making a device for blind people and various other interests I shared. All of them heavily discouraged me all the time. In classes, I was pointed out all the time. The professors wanted me to praise them for some reason, I felt like. All my internal peace and confident got murdered. This semester, I went through a financial hardships. I am only eating once in 2 days since the last 3 months. I've been trying really really hard to stay alright. But the professors killed all my confidence and self esteem. I have exams coming up and I'm so low I couldn't even study. Everything is failing. I have no idea what to do. I got a job but the Starbucks manager asked me to cut my beard which is hard although I used to trim it before. Everytime I try, the financial issue always comes up. I felt like I couldn't tie turban. I'm so poor after paying thousands of dollars in international & out-of-state tuition. I really wanted to ask my veer and bhenjis to please suggest me something. I'm really going through tough time. I've been in a situation where a large part of my funding is taken while returned nothing in education. I've been murdered internally. Please help.
Waheguru ji ka Khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh i was blessed with amrit almost a year ago, but since then i seem to have gone on a downwards scale mainly because of coming into a series of arguments about a month after taking amrit. After that time sikhi just hasnt been the same, i dont feel anything when doing simran anymore and the love for sikhi just isnt the same. For about 8 months now i've just been trying to get back on track and get back into sikhi properly but its been really hard. I try to spend much time reading bani, doing simran but it doesnt seem to do much effect. Right now feel like i've really dropped and in my mind increasingly im starting to have really bad thoughts when im in sangat or even out and about (mainly nindia). I dont know how to control these thoughts and i know that they're wrong and i shouldnt but i cant help it. after beant ardaasa to maharaj im now just hopeing that the sangat can give me some support and show me the way. I really wanna increase my prem for maharaj but i dont know what to do anymore. also i went to gurughar today and whilst listening to akand paath i picked up on this shabad: ਅਵਖਧ ਸਭੇ ਕੀਤਿਅਨੁ ਨਿੰਦਕ ਕਾ ਦਾਰੂ ਨਾਹਿ ॥ Avakhadhh Sabhae Keethian Nindhak Kaa Dhaaroo Naahi || All kinds of medicines may be prepared, but there is no cure for the slanderer. your answers will mean the world to me, thank you sangat ji?
My father-in-law passed in a tragic accident involving an 18-wheeler. He was dropping passenger(s) off at Newark airport when he slid on black ice from a previous sleet/snow storm. After the car came to a stop, my father in law checked on the passengers to make sure everyone was okay. After that he proceeded to exit the vehicle to put proper flags, caution lights, etc. out to warn any oncoming traffic. Keep in mind he lost control on an exit ramp leading to the airport. Within minutes, an 18-wheeler came barreling up and around the ramp. Losing control because of speed and other unknown reasons, the truck spun out of control. After the sheriffs arrived to the scene and began to check on everyone involved in the accident, they realized the driver (my father in law) was missing. An officer then went to investigate the surroundings in search of my Parminder. A bit later, he was discovered under the truck. He was covered in snow. After removing the snow, it was obvious he passed of blunt force trauma to the head, neck and body. He was pronounced dead at the scene. My father in law loved to give. He would give you the turban off of his head, the shirt off of his back or the very last dollar in his pocket. He was very involved in the Sikh community here in NYC and loved to make a difference. He loved everyone he met and never stopped laughing. He helped anyone and everyone he possibly could. Any and all support is and will be treasured. http://www.gofundme.com/SupportTheSinghs