Marrying Your Cousin Not A Good Idea......

[dalsingh101]

Sorry guys, UK only.

Dispatches reveals the tragic consequences of first cousin marriage in Britain. Every year such marriages cause hundreds of children to be born with terrible disabilities; one third of whom are so ill that they die before they are five years old.

The practice is most common in Britain's Pakistani community, in which more than 50% of people marry their first cousin, and in Bradford 75% of ethnic Pakistanis follow the tradition.

It is also common in some Middle Eastern and East African communities here, and in the UK's Bangladeshi community, nearly a quarter of people marry their first cousins.

It also happens in the white British community: Dispatches features a couple, first-cousins-once-removed, whose daughter died of a genetic disease.

The medical risks include infant mortality, birth defects, learning difficulties, blindness, hearing impairment and metabolic disorders. As adults, the offspring of these relationships also risk sporadic abortions or infertility.

Reporter Tazeen Ahmad meets affected families, including one with three children with serious degenerative genetic diseases. Tazeen's own grandparents were first cousins: five of their children died before the age of ten, and three of her uncles were deaf.

Dispatches questions why no major national publicity campaign warns of these health risks. At-risk couples in some areas are offered genetic counselling, with some being offered selection of embryos or terminations, but as only 40% of recessive disorders can be medically tested for, this is of limited use.

Even talking about the practice is controversial. And, although many British studies have established the risks, people still deny the dangers and extol the benefits of marrying within the family. But others within the community say the risks should be publicised.

http://www.channel4.com/programmes/dispatches/4od#3116215

[Parchand]

dont really understand why people do this when there's so many people in the world that you're not related to

[SURYADEV]

Its usualyy down to keeping the wealth/zameen in the family.

[dalsingh101]

Its usualyy down to keeping the wealth/zameen in the family.

How comes our own lot don't do this then? (As far as I am aware).

Seems to be a Pakistani cultural thing?

Maybe the guys who claim Paks are a quom of pan***ay are talking literally?

Edited August 24, 2010 by dalsingh101

[SURYADEV]

You're probs right that it is a geo-cultural thing. I've read on some forum that even the Afghan Sikhs in UK marry into their cousins. Maybe thats just kids rumours.

On the other hand I knew an Indian Muslim here in Brum, originally from MP or UP. He stated that it doesn't happen in his community.

Maybe the strong tribal culture has something to do with it.

[Parchand]

the Shias i know all say they never do this and outright condemn it.

it's very much only in the Sunni community of Pakistan/Bangladeshi origin and the ones i know usually say they did it because they knew the girl's background inside out & i always say "background? you probably share a bit too much of her background since it's your massi's kuri" LoL

[Kam1825]

I know many Shias and Sufis that still intermarry. It is all down to family wealth and inheritance.

[dalsingh101]

Oh well.....

Each to their own I guess.

[tonyhp32]

It was funny how the Moulana guy kept on trying to bypass the fact that Pakistanis are getting more retared than normal because of their marrying their cousins! He kept saying "What about the figures for other communities" Talk about having his head in the sand. The Pakistani social club lot were no better. They are 'under attack' if people mention that their traditions are making their kids more likely to have genetic defects!

Having all those people in that club saying, "My wife's my first cousin, both my parents are also first cousins and my wife's parents are also first cousins" To lighten the mood maybe the presenter should have said "I've never seen so many Bahench*ds in one place"! Or even "So who was the first Bahench*d in your peerhi, your grandfather or great grandfather?"

On a serious note, do Pakistanis call their cousins sisters 'Bahenji' when they are younger or do they have another word for them as the Quran apparently makes them legitimate as their wives?

These kind of programmes are getting quite amusing nowadays. Whether it's undercover mosque and some Imam being secretly filmed saying 'pssst..we all hate the kafirs.. but don't tell them that' or that Saudi school teaching kids to hate Jews and Christians. Then the BBC Panorama about the so-called Gaza Aid ship and how they showed the Muslims were the ones all tooled up for a rumble and the Israelis went in with paintball guns, it's can't be easy being a Pakistani in the UK and then you get forced into marrying your cousin the goat herder!

[SURYADEV]

As DalSIngh said: each to their own (sister).

I agree. But the problem arises when society at large has to deal with the fallout. Think of the massive medical bills, for a start, That we have to foot.

[dalsingh101]

As DalSIngh said: each to their own (sister).

I agree. But the problem arises when society at large has to deal with the fallout. Think of the massive medical bills, for a start, That we have to foot.

Don't worry about it too much. If we go down that route, we may as well turn into Richard Littlejohn.

If they carry on, the people who will suffer the most are themselves.

[kdsingh80]

You're probs right that it is a geo-cultural thing. I've read on some forum that even the Afghan Sikhs in UK marry into their cousins. Maybe thats just kids rumours.

On the other hand I knew an Indian Muslim here in Brum, originally from MP or UP. He stated that it doesn't happen in his community.

Maybe the strong tribal culture has something to do with it.

In my Both maternal and paternal families It was a common belief that marrying in mothers side is OK as .My father is arora and mother is khatri from Rawalpindi as a result There were some cousin marriages upto the generation of my father and mother.So for me This is not a thing which i consider as bad

[dalsingh101]

In my Both maternal and paternal families It was a common belief that marrying in mothers side is OK as .My father is arora and mother is khatri from Rawalpindi as a result There were some cousin marriages upto the generation of my father and mother.So for me This is not a thing which i consider as bad

Where these first cousin marriages KDS?

[kdsingh80]

Where these first cousin marriages KDS?

Yes

Mostly in sisters children as There was belief that Khandaan is from father so

Chache di kuri is like real sister But not maasi di kuri

[dalsingh101]

Yes

Mostly in sisters children as There was belief that Khandaan is from father so

Chache di kuri is like real sister But not maasi di kuri

They say you learn a new thing everyday. I had always thought that the heuristics I became aware of regarding marriage were standard Panjabi Sikh ones across the board i.e. no marrying in the same khandaan as your mother and father, I think it even went for grandparents as well? Also no marrying in the same village.

It is interesting to see that there is variance in this. To be honest I'm not really keen on cousin marriage and I hope the practice is eliminated in the panth for the reasons shown in the video at least. I think in time we will see more and more cross caste marriages in future, which I believe to be positive as it can cement new bonds between us. This can also help combat cousin marriage.

Edited August 24, 2010 by dalsingh101

[Parchand]

Oh well.....

Each to their own I guess.

unintended pun

[GillAUS]

Man, I feel sorry for those kids.. They are the undeserving victims of this sick practice. I can't believe there were people that actually dismissed the medical evidence.

I would hate to be a Paki in the UK right now. I don't know what's worse, being called a terrorist or a cousin-shagger (or p*nch*de )

[SURYADEV]

Out of curiosity where do they stand legally, in terms of incest laws?

[tonyhp32]

It's not illegal as the Royal family used to take part in this practice. Queen Victoria's inbred descendents ruled most of Europe before WW1.

[Xylitol]

it's funny how if any right wing Brit makes fun of pakistanis for this practice, they can just point at the royal family

[Guest zulu]

Maybe the guys who claim Paks are a quom of pan***ay are talking literally?

LOL!!!!

[Mr Sardar]

[REMOVED]

Edited December 10, 2015 by sarbatdapala

[dalsingh101]

I'm not sure I agree with you Sarbat. I think this is one of those few instances when the majority Sikh-Panjabi cultural normative practice is actually a good idea and needs to rolled out throughtout the entire panth. You know the whole not marrying into your own family thing that most Panjabis practice.

Anyway, what is a papa Sikh?

[Mithar]

Anyway, what is a papa Sikh?

Think he is referring to Khatri Sikhs who are sometimes called "Bhapas" by non-Khatris. Marriage between cousins was common amongst the Khatris of Pothhar and NW frontier. Wattaa-Sattaa was also common amongst them as it was amongst the Muslim population in those areas. Living amongst Muslims, many Hindus and Sikhs adopted their customs.

[Mr Sardar]

[REMOVED]

Edited December 10, 2015 by sarbatdapala