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harsharan000

Just For A Laugh...

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I love you

Teacher: Batao "I love you" ka avishkar kis desh main hua?

Student: China main, Sir

Teacher: woh kaise?

Student: Ismein saree chinese qualities hain

Na koee guarantee, na koee warranty

Chaley, ta chand tak

Na chaley, ta shaam tak!!!!

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Aadmi : Bhaiya Mere Bal Chhote Chhote Kardo..

Hajam : Kitne Chhote Karne Hain ..?

Aadmi : Utne Chhote Kardo Ke Biwi Ke Hathon Mein Na Aa Sake..!

Pappu India Gate Pe Chilla Raha Tha...

"Prime Minister Nikamma Hai'

'Prime Minister Nikamma Hai'..

Police Wale Ne Usey Peetna Shuru Kar Diya Aur Bola Chal Thane PM Ka Mazak Karta Hai...

Pappu : Mein To England Ke PM Ko Bol Raha Tha...

Police Ne 2 Aur Thappad Lagaye Aur Bola.."Bewkoof Banata Hai, Kya Hame Nahi Pata Kaun

Sa PM Nikamma Hai..!

Apna Baccha Roye..To Dil Mein Dard Hota Hai.

Aur Dusre Ka Roye..To Sar Mein...

Apni Biwi Roye ..To Sir Mein Dard Hota Hai...

Aur Dusre Ki Roye To Dil Mein..!

Ek American Jodi Ko 'Kaala' Baacha Huwa..

Mard Gussa Huwa..Aur Biwi Se Pucha..'Yeh Kaala Kyoo?'

Biwi Ne Jawab Diya.." Tum Garam..Mein Bhi Garam..Baacha Jal Gaya..!'

Bhagwan : Tumhare Pratna Suni..Aab Kya Chate Ho..?

Ladka : Ek Khubsoorat Ladki...

Bhagwan : Aagar Islam Dharam Maante Ho..To 'Katrina' Dunga..

Agar Hindu Ko Maante Ho..To 'Kareena'

Agar Sikh Ko..To 'Anushka'

Agar Christan Ko.. To 'Genelia'

Aab Batao..'Naam Kya Hai..?

Ladka : Abdul Vijay Singh Fernandes..

Bhagwan : Naarad Se..'Mayawati' De Do Saale Ko..

Banda Jyada Smart Ban Raha Hai..!

Court Mein Case Chal Raha Tha...Case Ki Sunwai Shuru Hone Lagi To Wakeel Utha Aur

Judge Se Bola....

Wakeel : My Lord, Kanoon Ki Kitaab Ke Page Number 15 Ke Mutabiq Mere Muvakeel Ko

Baizzat Bari Kiya Jaye...

Judge : Kitab Pesh Ki Jayea...

Kitaab Pesh Ki Gayi...

Judge Ne Page Number 15 Khola To Usmein 1000 Ke 10 Note The...

Judge : Muskurate Hue..Bahut Khoob..Is Tarha Ke 5 Saboot Aur Pesh Kiye Jaye..!

Bacha Ne Bhagwan Se Prathna Ki.."Mujhe Ek Cycle Dila Do.."

Do Din Intazar Tak Kuch Nahi Huwa..

Aakhir Bache Ne Mandhir Se Ganeshji Ka Putla Chura Liya...

Phir Shankarji Ko Ek Kath Likha.."Agar Apna Bacha Chaiyea To Cycle Lakar Mandir Aajaana..!"

A Woman Was Kidnapped...

The Kidnapper Cut Off Her Finger And Sent It To Her Husband, Demanding Money

Husband Replied : I Want More Proof “Zuban Bhejo"

Ek Aurat Kabar Par Baithi Thi...

Musafir Ne Pucha.."Tumhe Daar Nahi Lagta"?

Aurt : kyu Ji..? Isme Darne Wali Kya Baat Hai. Andar Garmi Lag Rahi Thi To Baahar Aa Gai..!

Traffic Police Vs. Pappu....

Police Ne Pappu Ko Roka Aur Pucha.. "Aapna Driving License Dikahau"

Pappu : Nahi Hai..

Police : Kya License Banvaya Hai Ya Nahi..?

Pappu : Nahi.

Police : Kyon?

Pappu : Banwane Gaya Tha, Woh Voter ID Card Mangte Hain, Aur Woh Mere Paas Nahi Hai..

Police : To Voter ID Card Banwale..

Pappu : Banwane Gaya Tha, Woh Ration Card Mangte Hain, Woh Mere Paas Nahi Hai..

Police : Toh Fir Ration Card Banwale..

Pappu : Gaya Tha, Woh Bank Ki Paasbook Mangte Hain, Woh Mere Paas Nahi Hai..

Police : To Phir Isme Kya Hai, Bank Main Account Khulwale Mere Baap..

Pappu : Bank Bhi Gaya Tha Saab, Lekin Woh Driving License Mangte Hai..!

Kya Ajeeb Iffataq Hai..

Apna Baccha Roye..To Dil Mein Dard Hota Hai..

Dusre Ka Roye To Sir Mein.

Apni Biwi Roye To Sir Mein Dard Hota Hai..

Dusre Ki Roye..To Dil Mein..!

College Wali Masaledar Hoti Hai..

Office Wali Feeki..

Ghar Wali Mein Taste Nahi Aati,

Aur Mast To Sirf Hotel Wali Hoti Hai,

Kis Soch Mein Par Gaye Dooston..

Main To CHAI Ki Baat Kar Raha Hoon..!.

Tata Ko Ab NANO Ke Do Bade Nuks Samajh Aaye Hai...

Ek To Usme Garbawati Aurat Ghus Nahi Sakti...

Doosra,Usme Aurat Garbawati Ho Nahi Sakti..!

Ek Aadmi Ne Bus Conductor Se Pucha : Aap Kitne Ghante Bus Mein Rehte Ho..?

Conductor : 24 Ghante..

Aadmi : Wo Kaise..?

Conductor : 8 Ghante City Bus Mein, Baaki 16 Ghante Biwi Ke “BASME” !

Ek Aadmi Ne Face Book Par Likha...Suhaag Raat Hai Ghunghat Udha Raha Hoon Mai..

After Few Minutes

75 Likes And 1 Comment

Comment : Bhai, Update Karte Rehena Hum Online Par Poori Ki Poori Cinema Dekh Lenge

Log Kehte Hain Ki Pyar Itna Bhi Mat Karo Ki Girlfriend Sar Par Sawar Ho Jaye,

Hum Kehte Hai Ki Pyar Itna Karo, Ki Girlfriend Ki Saheli Bhi Apke Saath Faraar Ho Yaye..!

Sometimes Things Sound More Romantic In Hindi..Like

'Mai Kho Gaya Hoon Tumhare Pyaar Mein..Aab Tum Bhi Kho Jao'.

In English..

"I 'm Lost In Your Love...Now You Also GET LOST."

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FUNNY INTERVIEW

Officer : What Is Your Name ?

Candidate : M P. Sir

Officer : Tell Me Properly

Candidate : Mohan Pal Sir

Officer : Your Father’s Name ?

Candidate : M P. Sir

Officer : What Does That Mean ?

Candidate : Manmohan Pal Sir

Officer : Your Native Place

Candidate : M P. Sir

Officer : Is It Madhya Pradesh ?

Candidate : No, Munnur Pal Sir

Officer : What Is Your Qualification?

Candidate : M P. Sir

Officer : (Angrily) What Is It ?

Candidate : Metric Pass

Officer : Why Do You Need A Job ?

Candidate : M P. Sir

Officer : And What Does That Mean ?

Candidate : Money Problem Sir

Officer : Describe Your Personality

Candidate : M P. Sir

Officer : Explain Yourself Clearly

Candidate : Mind-blowing Personality Sir

Officer : This Discussion Is Nowhere, You

May Go

Now

Candidate : M P. Sir

Officer : What Is It Now

Candidate : My Performance….?

Officer : Mp !!!

Candidate : What Is That Sir..?

Officer : Mentally Puncture.. …. :P

Edited by harsharan000

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Filling in a school form ....

A child was fiiling in a school form:

child: Dad !

father: yes son?

child: they are asking for mother tongue

father : write, a very long and sharp one....

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The Power of Woman

There were 11 people – ten men and one woman – hanging onto a rope that came down from a helicopter.

They all decided that one person should get off, because if they didn’t, the rope would break and everyone would die.

No one could decide who should go, so finally, the woman gave a really touching speech saying how she would give up her life to save the others, because women were used to giving up things for their husbands and children, giving in to men, and not receiving anything in return.

When she finished speaking, all the men started clapping.

Edited by harsharan000

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Commanded By Wife

God comes and says, “I want the men to make two lines.

One line for the men that dominated their women on earth and the other line for the men that were dominated by their women.

Also, I want all the women to go with St. Peter.”

With that said and done, the next time God looked, the women are gone and there are two lines.

The line of the men that were dominated by their women was 100 miles long, and in the line of men that dominated their women, there was only one man.

God got mad and said, “You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created you in my image and you were all whipped by your mates.

Look at the only one of my sons that stood up and made me proud. Learn from him! Tell them my son, how did you manage to be the only one in this line?”

And the man replied, “I don’t know, my wife told me to stand here.”

Edited by harsharan000

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Women Won’t Play Football Not Coz They Aren’t Gud At It….

“ Women wont play football not coz they aren’t gud at it..

But coz its against their ego to b dressed up exactly like 10 other women in front of 10,000 people.. icon_wink.gif

Edited by harsharan000

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New Math

A boy was teaching a girl arithmetic, he said it was his mission.

He kissed her once; he kissed her twice and said, “Now that’s addition.”

In silent satisfaction, she sweetly gave the kisses back and said, “Now that’s subtraction.”

Then he kissed her, she kissed him, without an explanation.

And both together smiled and said, “That’s multiplication.”

Then her Dad appeared upon the scene and made a quick decision.

He kicked that boy three blocks away and said, “That’s long division!”

Edited by harsharan000

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Question of maths

Santa to Son: "maths vich fail kyu hoya"..

Son: 1st day teacher kendi 5+3=8..

Agle din kendi 6+2=8..

fir kendi 4+4=8

ullu di pathi, khud confusd hai mainu ki padaeygi..????????

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Powder

Salesman: Sir, cockroach k liye powder loge kya?

Santa: " Nahi, hum cockroach ko itna laad-pyar nahi karte!

Aaj powder laga denge to kal sala DEO mangega!!

Salesman Fainted ??????????

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HOSPITAL : Maternity ward

 

 

Hospital me,nurse: mubarak ho, aapke ghar me beta paida hua hae

 

Santa: Wahe guru, kya technology hae...

Biwi yaha hospital me,

aur beta ghar me paida hua hae....

 

 

Edited by harsharan000

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Men will be men ... on banking rules

It was 5 in the evening, the bank was almost closed.

All of a sudden, the branch manager received a call from a lady.

In a sweet voice she said-sir I urgently need RS 10.000 . I will reach your bank in 10 minutes. Could you please wait for me?

Her voice was so captivating that the manager could not say no. He instructed his cashier to keep the cash ready. The cashier obeyed his boss with great reluctance.

After a while a lady with the ugliest face, and  ahuge tummy and uncommon figure came in and presented the cheque to cash the money.

The branch manager was taken aback, as he was expecting a cute lady. He inmediately told the lady that they hada lraedy closed the cash for the day and she should come the next day.

The cashier was so furious, so he told the manager that if his intention was not to pay, why he made him to sit till so late...

And the BM told him, I wanted to help her, but it is the universal  rule of banking that....if words and figures don´t match, payment will be declined .....

hahahaha.....

 

 

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A Priest, A Minister, A Mullah And A Bear

 

A priest, a minister, and a mullah want to see who’s best at his job. So each one goes into the woods, finds a bear, and attempts to convert it.

Later, they all get together. The priest begins: “When I found the bear, I read to him from the catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his first Communion.”

“I found a bear by the stream,” says the minister, “and preached God’s holy Word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him.”

They both look down at the mullah, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast.

“Looking back,” he says, “maybe I shouldn’t have started with the circumcision.”

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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