Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
das

Husband Wife Jokes - I Love These

Recommended Posts

10 hours ago, samurai said:

Husband and wife have a discussion in the kitchen

wife..i want more freedom

husband..ok, i will build you an extension....lol 

 

Definition of "Single":
Men who make jokes about women and kitchens!
(See also related words: "Divorced" and "Dog House").

 

---

A husband and wife get a new computer and when prompted by the new computer to enter a password the husband enters "mypenis"
Computer responds "Sorry. That is not Long enough." 
The wife just about dies laughing! 

---

If at first you don't succeed, try doing it the way your wife told you to begin with! 

---

What has two legs and bleeds?
A Husband who thinks he's superior to his wife. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, N30 S!NGH said:

wait a minute, i am bit confused is this thread still supposed to be joke/funny? 

And so lived the the thread which was once known as "Husband Wife Jokes - I Love These". Nothing remains now but a poisoned corpse.

On 2016-01-08 at 10:48 PM, das said:

This section was meant for light hearted jokes...

Das I am sorry for your loss.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
5 minutes ago, BhagatSingh said:

And so lived the the thread which was once known as "Husband Wife Jokes - I Love These". Nothing remains now but a poisoned corpse.

Das I am sorry for your loss.

Really good humor lol

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Just now, BhagatSingh said:

And so lived the the thread which was once known as "Husband Wife Jokes - I Love These". Nothing remains now but a poisoned corpse.

Das I am sorry for your loss.

What's wrong? Are they only funny and light hearted when it's the wife who is the brunt of the jokes???  LOL

1139.jpg.5caed30d015e983be4a85ac1747cbc5

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
9 minutes ago, samurai said:

Guys, we as men have to accept we will also be the butt of jokes...even though it dents our masculine image...lol

We joke about ourselves all the time. But when some people start mixing their ideologies into the otherwise light-hearted situations then you can no longer be light-hearted because they killed the vibe. You now have to deal with that ideology being there.

Let me explain it another way.
It's like when you have a room full of people joking about random shit, and having a good time. And someone says, "you know what they say about cancer, bla bla bla" and everyone laughs.

And someone frowns, "my grandma has cancer..."

That kills the entire vibe.

 

14 minutes ago, Ragmaala said:

its a dark shade of humor ;) like a satire lol

 

6 minutes ago, Ragmaala said:

it cracked me up still...ah man lol

I like you Ragmaala, you get me. no homo

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

A man is intensively washing his jeans, mumbling:
- You cannot trust anyone these days! Not a single person! Even yourself... I was only trying to fart.
-----

A wife tries to teach the dog to sit up. After a few fails her husband tells:
- Darling, forget it, you won't succeed...
- Don't worry - replies his wife - in the beginning it was difficult with you as well.
------

Men are like ... Placemats.

They only show up when there's food on the table.

------

Men are like... Government bonds. 
They take so long to mature.

------

OFFSPRING 
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and soccer games and romances and best friends and favorite foods and secret fears and hopes and dreams.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hmm ok so Bhagat Singh Ji, the vibe changed when men became the brunt because before the jokes were on women and none of us were here... now that we are posting jokes about men what you are saying is, now that we are posting these and you as a man don't find them funny when men are the subject of the jokes? Liven up, if you can dish it out always be prepared to receive it too.  Thats what we say in the Navy :) 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 hours ago, Satkirin_Kaur said:

Hmm ok so Bhagat Singh Ji, the vibe changed when men became the brunt because before the jokes were on women and none of us were here... now that we are posting jokes about men what you are saying is, now that we are posting these and you as a man don't find them funny when men are the subject of the jokes? Liven up, if you can dish it out always be prepared to receive it too.  Thats what we say in the Navy :) 

I didn't see this post earlier, I'll clarify what I mean again. A feminist telling jokes on men, is like a white racist telling jokes on blacks or like a rapist telling jokes on rape.

Let me tell you, it doesn't just kill the vibe.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
31 minutes ago, BhagatSingh said:

I didn't see this post earlier, I'll clarify what I mean again. A feminist telling jokes on men, is like a white racist telling jokes on blacks or like a rapist telling jokes on rape.

Let me tell you, it doesn't just kill the vibe.

Hmmm but I'm not a feminist. I'm a humanist. I am against ALL discrimination. Equality across the board.  I'm not looking to put women on a pedestal over men LOL. Your comment *might* make sense if I hated men. I don't.  Actually your point would maybe make sense if the jokes were about men to start with (by women) and men who were all for subordination of women started to make jokes about women. Because the men in that case are for discrimination of women. I am NOT for discrimination of men. I'm only for equal treatment of both. That is a big difference. 

So joke away! 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 minute ago, Satkirin_Kaur said:

Hmmm but I'm not a feminist. I'm a humanist. I am against ALL discrimination. Equality across the board.  I'm not looking to put women on a pedestal over men LOL. Your comment *might* make sense if I hated men. I don't.  Actually your point would maybe make sense if the jokes were about men to start with (by women) and men who were all for subordination of women started to make jokes about women. Because the men in that case are for discrimination of women. I am NOT for discrimination of men. I'm only for equal treatment of both. That is a big difference. 

So joke away! 

A wolf maybe wearing sheepskin but as soon as it opens it's mouth, it immediately gives it away. A feminist may call herself a humanist or egalitarian but as soon as she opens her mouth, it immediately gives her away.

 

You actually have to become egalitarian, and not just use 'humanist' as a cover to push your agenda.... on a freaking joke threads of all things. I mean it's pathetic to argue that stuff on joke threads. It would have been much less cringe-worthy if you had simply pasted your jokes, and argued with Das elsewhere.

And I also don't like the fact that you are gossiping about (and criticizing) Paapiman in a thread where he is not present to respond to your gossip and criticism. I find that to be quite shameful. No matter how much you may disagree with him, nindya is never the right approach.

Anyways, if you want to keep discussing this topic start a new thread, and reply to my comment with the link to the thread.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
7 hours ago, BhagatSingh said:

A wolf maybe wearing sheepskin but as soon as it opens it's mouth, it immediately gives it away. A feminist may call herself a humanist or egalitarian but as soon as she opens her mouth, it immediately gives her away.

 

You actually have to become egalitarian, and not just use 'humanist' as a cover to push your agenda.... on a freaking joke threads of all things. I mean it's pathetic to argue that stuff on joke threads. It would have been much less cringe-worthy if you had simply pasted your jokes, and argued with Das elsewhere.

And I also don't like the fact that you are gossiping about (and criticizing) Paapiman in a thread where he is not present to respond to your gossip and criticism. I find that to be quite shameful. No matter how much you may disagree with him, nindya is never the right approach.

Anyways, if you want to keep discussing this topic start a new thread, and reply to my comment with the link to the thread.

I thought "nindya" meant untrue ie slander... this is not untrue. Paapiman did in fact say those things and will gladly verify them for you. And I was responding to das' post immediately above.  And Paapiman saying that being born a woman was karmic punishment and a downgrade to a male body, was what was shameful.  But replying to his specific post above aside, I posted the jokes for everyone else. That response was meant specifically for him. And nowhere in there is anything pointing to hatred of men. At all. There was no argument. I was trying to ascertain how he feels about us and if what he said above about karmas, was in line with what Paapiman had said before. 

cdf83be382938a4e543f19e962e10220.jpg

I still find it funny how men can openly want to see women pushed into subordinate roles and thats somehow not seen as sexist or women hating. But if a woman just wants to have equal opportunity as men, she is seen as a man hater!  And simply reiterating something someone posted openly on here, is seen as "nindya" which means slander (something which is false) even though that person would gladly say the same again, showing its not false at all. Basically anything you disagree with is seen as bad and evil.  

Okay so all the women should be submissive obedient little slaves for men and men should have all the privileges in the world and women should just shut up and take their lot right? Ok I am going to kill myself now - congratulations you juts made me realize how much I hate being female and its not worth living. 

And the ridiculousness of your post becomes apparent when you realize this thread is by sexist men posting jokes about women! What was that again about a racist posting jokes about black etc?? Teapot calling the kettle black!!!!

btw if you can dish out the jokes expect to get them back at some point. 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Everyone knows that June 27 is celebrated as International Husband Day.

But do you know why this particular date was chosen? Translate the Day and Month from English to Punjabi and you will understand......

27 June is Satai Jon (a.k.a Satai=Tortured; Jon=Species).....which means, celebrate the husband's day which represents their real state......The tortured species.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Your content will need to be approved by a moderator

Guest
You are commenting as a guest. If you have an account, please sign in.
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoticons maximum are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
Sign in to follow this  

×