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Grihst marg

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Guest Anonymous

Waheguru ji khalsa, waheguru ji ki fateh

dear sangat ji,

I am in need of your opinion and would appreciate your advise on the matter

i am a beginner abhiyasee who recently got into sikhi following depression, i get peace from gurbani and want to make it a bigger part of my life

my plan for my life was to continue naam abhiyas and keep a working life, i am not married and i live with my family

i wanted to keep it that way as it would give me plenty of time for sikhi

but my family is pressurising me to marry in the near future and i am not genuinely interested, i have told them that but they are not willing to listen. If i do marry it would be out of obligation and i am stressed about how i would practice sikhi, take care of my husband, have kids and keep a job at the same time

sangat ji, sikhi is dear to me, I don't want to lose it, can gursikh veer or bibiya address my fears

is it going against guru sahib if I don't marry?

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2 hours ago, Guest Anonymous said:

Waheguru ji khalsa, waheguru ji ki fateh

dear sangat ji,

I am in need of your opinion and would appreciate your advise on the matter

i am a beginner abhiyasee who recently got into sikhi following depression, i get peace from gurbani and want to make it a bigger part of my life

my plan for my life was to continue naam abhiyas and keep a working life, i am not married and i live with my family

i wanted to keep it that way as it would give me plenty of time for sikhi

but my family is pressurising me to marry in the near future and i am not genuinely interested, i have told them that but they are not willing to listen. If i do marry it would be out of obligation and i am stressed about how i would practice sikhi, take care of my husband, have kids and keep a job at the same time

sangat ji, sikhi is dear to me, I don't want to lose it, can gursikh veer or bibiya address my fears

is it going against guru sahib if I don't marry?

Sikhi is part of many of the Grihasts we have here , i am not a keshdhari and come from a hindu background, and many others are are from Gursikh families here and have been married  . Grihasti is somewhere a necessary obligation in life .

When you say losing Sikhi what do you mean ? what do yo do that stops you from performing regular tasks ?

 

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9 hours ago, Guest Anonymous said:

is it going against guru sahib if I don't marry?

Sister, marriage is not mandatory in Sikhism. It is entirely up to the individual to choose Grahast marg or Brahamchari marg. Many Gurmukhs of high avastha are Brahamcharis. If you choose not to marry, it is completely fine.

But, there is no doubt that Grahast Marg is highly encouraged in Sikhism, due to difficult times (Kajjug). IMHO, one has to be of really high avastha (excellent control over Lust), to choose Brahamchari life style. 

Do you know of any Gurmukhs of high avastha? If yes, please consult with them on this issue. You can also do Ardas in front of Sri Satguru jee with love and devotion. Maharaaj jee will definitely answer you via Hukamnama or other means.

 

Bhul chuk maaf

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The biggest problem sikhism is facing low birth rate. Lack of sikhs marrying , inter religious marriages are taking heavy toll on Sikhism. Unfortunately most of sikhs have completely turned blind eye toward this , All they want is Raaj , power etc. The future is quite bleak in terms of demographics

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15 hours ago, kdsingh80 said:

The biggest problem sikhism is facing low birth rate. Lack of sikhs marrying , inter religious marriages are taking heavy toll on Sikhism. Unfortunately most of sikhs have completely turned blind eye toward this , All they want is Raaj , power etc. The future is quite bleak in terms of demographics

Naw.. Yogi bhajan balanced it out so we good .

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On June 20, 2016 at 0:08 AM, Guest Anonymous said:

Waheguru ji khalsa, waheguru ji ki fateh

dear sangat ji,

I am in need of your opinion and would appreciate your advise on the matter

i am a beginner abhiyasee who recently got into sikhi following depression, i get peace from gurbani and want to make it a bigger part of my life

my plan for my life was to continue naam abhiyas and keep a working life, i am not married and i live with my family

i wanted to keep it that way as it would give me plenty of time for sikhi

but my family is pressurising me to marry in the near future and i am not genuinely interested, i have told them that but they are not willing to listen. If i do marry it would be out of obligation and i am stressed about how i would practice sikhi, take care of my husband, have kids and keep a job at the same time

sangat ji, sikhi is dear to me, I don't want to lose it, can gursikh veer or bibiya address my fears

is it going against guru sahib if I don't marry?

Pray for a husband who will not become a hindrance but a catalyst in your spiritual journey.

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11 hours ago, GurpreetKaur said:

Naw.. Yogi bhajan balanced it out so we good .

What it mean's , Yogi bhajan bought few white's into Sikhism which are called 3HO and still many don't accept them as sikhs, so far in terms of percentage they are negligible 

 

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Guest Dee Bee Singh

Whats going on here is above my naive knowledge.

If you are scared of marriage that you will lose sikhi well lets put it this way you are choosing an easy path then. 

Try to find a right match ofcourse thats the most hardest of all. And once you are married stick to your routine and stuff. You get kids you raise them your way. Dont compromise and make it clear before marriage..

Thats what I would say.. I dont know where the concept of brahmchari came into Sikhism.

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37 minutes ago, Guest Dee Bee Singh said:

Thats what I would say.. I dont know where the concept of brahmchari came into Sikhism.

There have been numerous Brahamchari Sikhs in the past.  

Brahamchari Sikh style is not easy. One needs immense amount of Bhagti, for this life style.

 

Bhul chuk maaf

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both marags are acceptable in Sikhi. However, the way you feel now may not be teh way you feel a few years from now. Trust me I know. I advise you to ask Guru ji directly for advice on what to do. Keep in mind that if you choose bihangam (celibacy) than you must keep a pehra (respectable distance) from all females for the rest of your youth and middle age to avoid falling. 

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Guest Penguin
34 minutes ago, Xylitol said:

both marags are acceptable in Sikhi. However, the way you feel now may not be teh way you feel a few years from now. Trust me I know. I advise you to ask Guru ji directly for advice on what to do. Keep in mind that if you choose bihangam (celibacy) than you must keep a pehra (respectable distance) from all females for the rest of your youth and middle age to avoid falling. 

 OP = woman . :p

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On July 19, 2016 at 6:46 PM, Xylitol said:

both marags are acceptable in Sikhi. However, the way you feel now may not be teh way you feel a few years from now. Trust me I know. I advise you to ask Guru ji directly for advice on what to do. Keep in mind that if you choose bihangam (celibacy) than you must keep a pehra (respectable distance) from all females for the rest of your youth and middle age to avoid falling. 

You are totally right. Five years ago I was against getting married. I wanted to dedicate my life to bhagti. Five years later I'm engaged. A persons mindset changes a lot in a few years.

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18 hours ago, Singh123456777 said:

You are totally right. Five years ago I was against getting married. I wanted to dedicate my life to bhagti. Five years later I'm engaged. A persons mindset changes a lot in a few years.

Bro how old are you if you don't mind me asking.

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Guest guest
On 20 June 2016 at 5:08 AM, Guest Anonymous said:

i am a beginner abhiyasee who recently got into sikhi following depression, i get peace from gurbani and want to make it a bigger part of my life

Guest Ji, 

obviously following a bout of depression, you would be less interested in outer relationships.  however please think about the future.  twenty or thirty years from now, may you be lonely? your parents have more life experience, are worldly wise, and want to do what (they believe) is in your best interests.  

I request you ask yourself honestly, is sikhi the reason you don't want to get married, or are you just using it as an excuse, and the real reason is something else. 

A big point in Sikhi is, that you can live in the world and attain highest states of spirituality.  Most Sikhs in history were householders.  And a spouse who shares your religious interest may actually be a support in the religious life.   So what you are presenting may be a false dichotomy.  

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On 6/20/2016 at 0:08 AM, Guest Anonymous said:

Waheguru ji khalsa, waheguru ji ki fateh

dear sangat ji,

I am in need of your opinion and would appreciate your advise on the matter

i am a beginner abhiyasee who recently got into sikhi following depression, i get peace from gurbani and want to make it a bigger part of my life

my plan for my life was to continue naam abhiyas and keep a working life, i am not married and i live with my family

i wanted to keep it that way as it would give me plenty of time for sikhi

but my family is pressurising me to marry in the near future and i am not genuinely interested, i have told them that but they are not willing to listen. If i do marry it would be out of obligation and i am stressed about how i would practice sikhi, take care of my husband, have kids and keep a job at the same time

sangat ji, sikhi is dear to me, I don't want to lose it, can gursikh veer or bibiya address my fears

is it going against guru sahib if I don't marry?

Please have a look below:

 

Bhul chuk maaf

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Dude do whatever resonates with ya deeply not via conditioning but deeply in meditation drop that question of what you drawn towards- feel the divine will and be guided by it... enjoy the worldly game... Dont think being behingum is any easier for a second than grishti jevan. They are both hard, external circumstances are beyond our control..only free will you have... if we have (even that could be argued) is how nirlaip/calm are you regardless of situation, relationship status. One could be biggest bhogi/engaged in worldly affairs while behingum and one could be nirlaip as jalkamal/cool as cucumber while being in gristhi/ bhog..worldly relationship status does not mean anything. Maharaj leela is way beyond our minds.

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