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ConvertGirl

Is it allowed to stay unmarried?

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Hello!

I come from a hindu background but I believe in sikhi and taking steps towards amrit, but my family is against it and asks me to follow sikhi just in heart and not to show other's that I am a sikh and I should get married and live a normal life. They say conversion wouldn't be accepted in their society and people will say bad things and also marriage is an issue for them. I am curious to know what does sikhi say about celibacy and how do I handle this problem?

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49 minutes ago, ConvertGirl said:

Hello!

I come from a hindu background but I believe in sikhi and taking steps towards amrit, but my family is against it and asks me to follow sikhi just in heart and not to show other's that I am a sikh and I should get married and live a normal life. They say conversion wouldn't be accepted in their society and people will say bad things and also marriage is an issue for them. I am curious to know what does sikhi say about celibacy and how do I handle this problem?

You can convert and become a Sikh. It is acceptable in our society. A non-Sikh from any background can request for Amrit (Khande da) and get baptized. After baptism, he/she will have to follow the Sikh codes of conduct to remain in the fold. 

You can try to find an Amritdhari Sikh life partner for marriage.

Marriage (between male and female) is highly recommended and promoted in Sikhism, but it is not mandatory. One can remain a celibate, if one likes that particular life style. However, Sikhism does not promote taking medications/injections or excessive tinkering with the body, in order to control sexual desires. Some celibates in India resort to extreme measures to control their lust. Not all of their methods are acceptable in Gurmat. Sikhism promotes the destruction or transformation of sexual energy using Naam Simran of Gurbani.

 

Bhul chuk maaf

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1 hour ago, ConvertGirl said:

Hello!

I come from a hindu background but I believe in sikhi and taking steps towards amrit, but my family is against it and asks me to follow sikhi just in heart and not to show other's that I am a sikh and I should get married and live a normal life. They say conversion wouldn't be accepted in their society and people will say bad things and also marriage is an issue for them. I am curious to know what does sikhi say about celibacy and how do I handle this problem?

Bhen Ji first of all i would like to welcome you on behalf of myself to the forum and its great step you have taken. You can start by doing nitnem paaths as thats a very important step for being amritdhari. Also about celibacy even though my veer ji paapiman has said its important to get married he is right 100%. 

 

However as us normal sangat its is recommended i have read and heard stories from Sant Mahapurshs Jeevanis as Baba Isher Singh Ji Rara Sahib, Baba Nand Singh Ji Nanaksar, Baba Harnam Singh Ji Rampurkhera, Baba Jawala Singh Harkowal were all sanyasi Sants through out their lifes. Also they were married Sants as well like Baba Gurbachan Singh Ji Bhindrawala, Baba Kartar Singh Ji Taksali, Baba Jarnail Singh Ji Bhindrawale and finally Bibi Balwant Kaur Ji.

 

So i am not trying to put you off marriage as thats up to you but where Sikhi and Bhagati is concered try your best to do as much simran and paath as you can.

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Congrats on the decision and I appreciate the thoughtfulness in your question.

Bhenji, I guarantee you that it's no harder to get married as a Sikh than it is as anything else. There are loads of Sikhs, how do you think any of them got married?

It's generally easier on this path to get married b/c it leads to a more stable jeevan in this life, but celibacy is allowed as well if you choose. 

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12 minutes ago, chatanga1 said:

All Sikhs have a duty to extend the Guru Khalsa Panth. Celibacy does not help. As a spiritual purpose maybe, by IMHO for Miri-Piri doctine, celibacy is not good.

It depends on the country one lives in. IMHO, Canada is not an ideal place for a Singh to get married. Women and children have excessive rights and the society in general, is not very suited for Miri-Piri doctrine to flourish. 

You don't want to be called a man of the house, without being the man of the house. 

 

Bhul chuk maaf 

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1 hour ago, paapiman said:

It depends on the country one lives in. IMHO, Canada is not an ideal place for a Singh to get married. Women and children have excessive rights and the society in general, is not very suited for Miri-Piri doctrine to flourish. 

Fair enough, but you have to remain like the lotus in the mud.

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