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dalsingh101

Shamed: The Honour Killing That Shocked Britain – by the Sister Who Fought for Justice - Sarbjit Kaur Athwal

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7 minutes ago, chatanga1 said:

Kuri mar is a different subject altogether Dal. In those situations people have killed or abandoned their daughters because they WERE girls.

Here Surjit wasn't killed because she was a woman. It was her behaviour that sealed the deal.

Nah Chatanga. If it is a bloke who is shagging about, rarely does it result in an honour killing in retaliation. So her being female played a part in this. And I think this does fall under the kur-maar thing. 

 

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Families do still cling to that, but the Athwals seemed to think that there was only one approach to rectifying the situation. They should have just asked her parents to collect her because she was pregnant by another man. The shame would have been with her father then rather than the inlaws. Instead they kept the child even though they knew it wasn't theirs.

 

I agree. They should have done what you said. That is one weird ar5e family. I know that people prefer one gender over the other - okay, that isn't unfathomable. But you can tell how obsessed this family was when they kept the child because he was boy, knowing it wasn't her husbands. Had a girl been born instead, how would've the mil acted then? 

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On 5/30/2018 at 8:11 PM, dalsingh101 said:

Nah Chatanga. If it is a bloke who is shagging about, rarely does it result in an honour killing in retaliation. So her being female played a part in this. And I think this does fall under the kur-maar thing. 

 

I understand where you're coming from Dal, but remember the girl leaves to live with her in-laws. The family aren't going to kill their own son. Maybe the girls brothers or father would take such a step. Kuri-maar is where the girl is killed for being a girl. Here Surjit wasn't killed for being a girl, as wasn't Sarbjit.

On 5/30/2018 at 8:11 PM, dalsingh101 said:

But you can tell how obsessed this family was when they kept the child because he was boy, knowing it wasn't her husbands. Had a girl been born instead, how would've the mil acted then? 

Yes, that is definitely weird. Why would they want to keep a child that isn't theirs and kill the woman (Surjit) who isn't theirs either.

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31 minutes ago, chatanga1 said:

 

I understand where you're coming from Dal, but remember the girl leaves to live with her in-laws. The family aren't going to kill their own son. Maybe the girls brothers or father would take such a step. Kuri-maar is where the girl is killed for being a girl. Here Surjit wasn't killed for being a girl, as wasn't Sarbjit.

Yes, that is definitely weird. Why would they want to keep a child that isn't theirs and kill the woman (Surjit) who isn't theirs either.

You don't think the kurimaar thing covers killing girls/females period? 

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Finally got to the end of this book. It's a drag of a read and in all honesty, the last third i was skipping pages as i knew the inevitable and the detail in Sarbit's feeling was getting boring and somewhat predictable. Whether she was doing this to connect to a non sikh background or to emphasise her "intention" and "role" with media/legal eyes on her, only she will truly know. (i doubt the latter TBF)

Funny thing is i remember reading this case, as well as ahluwalia, during studying law. Little did i know i would be reading the same case thoroughly, as a book for different intentions. 

The reason i "believe"  Sarbjit is because i have seen a "Bachan Kaur" in my family. A women who takes head after her hubby passes the has a power trip.

So i am not surprised by the whole story in its totality, the only thing that got me was Hardave getting his kids to turn against their mum, usually its the mum turning kids against their father.

I do feel "kurimaar" is way off. This was a honour killing not female infanticide. Surjit wasn't doing what a women in them times should be doing, that's why she got the chop. 

More importantly, Surjit stopped acting like the "good girl" simply because Suckdave was not acting like a man. 

men should act like men and women should act like women, both should know their role.. The biggest mistake Sukhdave made was that if you are gonna be a mamma's boy, at least shag your mrs right. She may have dealt with your shit with a good f*ck rather than getting her physical/emotional support from next man..just a thought. 

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Some of you people are missing so much important stuff out of the book that it is depressing. I will write a proper review at some point. 

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