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Will Waheguru Ever Forgive Me? Please help.


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Hi all, I need some help with extreme feelings of guilt and regret. Basically, I’m a 17 year old girl who sinned and lied a lot in my childhood. From the ages of 8-13, I would talk behind my friends back with others and then I woild go to my friend and tell them everything the other person said about them while acting like I never said anything even when I did. I betrayed the trust of many of my friends and hurt them. I feel so guilty now and I honestly feel so bad for how I’ve hurt others. 
 

For example, when I was a 12 year old in grade 7, I had a friend who I’ll call B for now, and basically B and I talked behind another girls back, I’ll call that girl N. I was friends with N but I guess I was angry at her so I gossiped with B. I then went to N and I told her what B said about her, all while acting like I said nothing. I lied and made it seem like B was a terrible person who talked about N and I made it seem like I was completely innocent. I even deleted some of the messages where I talked about N with B and showed N so it looked like i was a good innocent friend while B was a bad friend. I lied to B and told her that I told N that both of us talked behind her back. I lied many times and manipulate my friends. I feel so bad. At the time I didn’t even know how bad what I was doing was. 
 

I’m 17 years old now and I feel disgusting. I feel like the worst human being ever. At such a young age, I manipulated my friends, betrayed their trust, hurt them, and lied all the time. All while I thought I was innocent. I have apologized to those friends and they have kindly forgiven me. I feel like I deserve no forgiveness because I’m disgusting for my past manipulative actions. For the past three years, I think I have been a good person and have avoided gossiping or hurting anyone. I feel shame when I look at my parents because they always raised me with such good morals and values and they think of me as such a good daughter because I get good grades and listen to them. However they have no idea about the bad kid I used to be and how I used to betray my friends. I wake up every morning disgusted by myself and I don’t think God will ever forgive me. I had so many dreams of getting a good job when I grew up so I could help the world and I wanted to grow up and start a family where I could raise my future children to be good people but now that I’ve become aware of my past actions I feel disgusting and think I don’t deserve any of my dreams coming true. I hurt so many other girls and I don’t think Waheguru will forgive me because I sinned so much at such a young age. Please help and provide some insight on what you think. Thank you. 

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  • 4 weeks later...
On 3/20/2020 at 3:08 PM, Kaur. S said:

Hi all, I need some help with extreme feelings of guilt and regret. Basically, I’m a 17 year old girl who sinned and lied a lot in my childhood. From the ages of 8-13, I would talk behind my friends back with others and then I woild go to my friend and tell them everything the other person said about them while acting like I never said anything even when I did. I betrayed the trust of many of my friends and hurt them. I feel so guilty now and I honestly feel so bad for how I’ve hurt others. 
 

For example, when I was a 12 year old in grade 7, I had a friend who I’ll call B for now, and basically B and I talked behind another girls back, I’ll call that girl N. I was friends with N but I guess I was angry at her so I gossiped with B. I then went to N and I told her what B said about her, all while acting like I said nothing. I lied and made it seem like B was a terrible person who talked about N and I made it seem like I was completely innocent. I even deleted some of the messages where I talked about N with B and showed N so it looked like i was a good innocent friend while B was a bad friend. I lied to B and told her that I told N that both of us talked behind her back. I lied many times and manipulate my friends. I feel so bad. At the time I didn’t even know how bad what I was doing was. 
 

I’m 17 years old now and I feel disgusting. I feel like the worst human being ever. At such a young age, I manipulated my friends, betrayed their trust, hurt them, and lied all the time. All while I thought I was innocent. I have apologized to those friends and they have kindly forgiven me. I feel like I deserve no forgiveness because I’m disgusting for my past manipulative actions. For the past three years, I think I have been a good person and have avoided gossiping or hurting anyone. I feel shame when I look at my parents because they always raised me with such good morals and values and they think of me as such a good daughter because I get good grades and listen to them. However they have no idea about the bad kid I used to be and how I used to betray my friends. I wake up every morning disgusted by myself and I don’t think God will ever forgive me. I had so many dreams of getting a good job when I grew up so I could help the world and I wanted to grow up and start a family where I could raise my future children to be good people but now that I’ve become aware of my past actions I feel disgusting and think I don’t deserve any of my dreams coming true. I hurt so many other girls and I don’t think Waheguru will forgive me because I sinned so much at such a young age. Please help and provide some insight on what you think. Thank you. 

Pen Jee,

be happy for Waheguru has raised your consciousnes/awareness. Do not waste any more time. Learn from your mistakes and move forward faithfully.

If we are boolanhaar, He is sadah bakshanhaar.

So take refuge in Him as soon as possible, and stay safe and cheerful at all times, this is His apaar wadeeayee.

His holy Name, has 2 sided effects, first it cleans us by washing all our sins, and secondly at the same time  attracts us towards Him as a magnet, thus we get closer and closer to Him.

Stay blessed.

SSA.

 

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Are you by any chance helping her @moneyandpower?? 

Or increasing her guilt. She may already be forgiven since she's brave enough to confess., she has been given  that power by Babaji to write her deeds here and on the other forums too..

Why don't you try confessing your dirtiest deeds here and ask Sangat for forgiveness... Let's c if you have been forgiven?? 

Come on @kaur S u have woken up at an age where most of others start to get into such mess.. So consider yourself lucky and get to work ASAP. Read as much on this forum specially the old posts. Read SGGS Ji- discover the purpose of human life and fall in Love... Hold his hand... 

Waheguru ji

Also Kaal will try to pull you back.. In the form of negative people always... Your faith would make you stand straight.. .. Chant and move forward

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5 minutes ago, Mooorakh said:

Are you by any chance helping her @moneyandpower?? 

Or increasing her guilt. She may already be forgiven since she's brave enough to confess., she has been given  that power by Babaji to write her deeds here and on the other forums too..

Why don't you try confessing your dirtiest deeds here and ask Sangat for forgiveness... Let's c if you have been forgiven?? 

Come on @kaur S u have woken up at an age where most of others start to get into such mess.. So consider yourself lucky and get to work ASAP. Read as much on this forum specially the old posts. Read SGGS Ji- discover the purpose of human life and fall in Love... Hold his hand... 

Waheguru ji

Also Kaal will try to pull you back.. In the form of negative people always... Your faith would make you stand straight.. .. Chant and move forward

What? It’s true

I don’t need forgiveness because I don’t have a reason to feel guilty for any of my actions. Appreciate you calling me Kaal though, he did a lot of penance to control Maya and all the souls within it. Thanks for that compliment. 😉

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Oye!! .. I was expecting a MONEY and POWER type reply... 

Kaal huh?? This was not particularly for you.. Thas again a general statement... We all play under the influence of " Kaal" N Maaya, till we don't reach " The Truth-🙏" .. Just a pyaada there... Lol

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16 minutes ago, Mooorakh said:

Oye!! .. I was expecting a MONEY and POWER type reply... 

Kaal huh?? This was not particularly for you.. Thas again a general statement... We all play under the influence of " Kaal" N Maaya, till we don't reach " The Truth-🙏" .. Just a pyaada there... Lol

Who said I haven’t reached said ‘Truth’ while alive?

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1 minute ago, Mooorakh said:

Haha.. This ego.. who's talking.. 😂😂😂

U may be on the path though.. Kaal huh? 

I’m not saying I have or not but technically, only those who have reached it and Vaheguru would know, so therefore you would not, by your own admission because you label (judge) before you understand, thus an indicator that your soul hasn’t reached a more truthful disposition.

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Yeah I knw - u caught me- I make opinions.. Find people's fault and tell them on their face.. I am aware nd.. working towards  self correction.. .. 

But if there's a flower🌺🌻🌹🌷 it can't hide it's smell.. If there's  Brahmn he  can't hide himself- like ISHQ AND MUSHQ

As for technicality there are tonns of nishaanis given in Babaji to identify the real one among fakes.. Like moon 🌙among ⭐ stars... U bet thas for people like me not to get fooled

 I even mentioned the other day internet is full of many calling themselves enlightened.. 

 

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4 minutes ago, Mooorakh said:

Yeah I knw - u caught me- I make opinions.. Find people's fault and tell them on their face.. I am aware nd.. working towards  self correction.. .. 

But if there's a flower🌺🌻🌹🌷 it can't hide it's smell.. If there's  Brahmn he  can't hide himself- like ISHQ AND MUSHQ

As for technicality there are tonns of nishaanis given in Babaji to identify the real one among fakes.. Like moon 🌙among ⭐ stars... U bet thas for people like me not to get fooled

 I even mentioned the other day internet is full of many calling themselves enlightened.. 

 

There are a lot of enlightened people, they just don’t mention it. The ones that call themselves enlightened are usually not. I just brought up the idea of it, to see where you were mentally. And I am not a Brahmin lol. Kshatriya-Jatt heritage though. Probably why I love womanizing.

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@Kaur. Sbhen ji you made a mistake forget it and move on. Its not like you have committed the worst crime in the world to be thinking like that as it will turn into early stages of stress depression which you don't want.

 

Have you thought about doing ardas from guru sahib ji regarding this as guru sahib ji can forgive not humans. Try increasing your paaths simran will help.

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