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is it right for us to act on lust?

is it ok for 20 something sikhs who arnt married - waiting to find their partners for marriage to be involved in relationships?

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is it right to act on lust?

hmm... probably not unless ur married and ur lust is for ur wifey/hubby. but it's an entirely different issue on whether this is what happens in daily life. :LOL:

is it ok to chercher pour ton ideal person by gettin involved in relationships in ur 20's?

well, if u don't search for that person, how do u expect urself to find them? this is assuming of course that ur parents are alright with u goin out with a member of the opposite sex on more than just a day out with friends. (so my answer is "yes, as long as things are out in the open.")

what do YOU think?

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Guest Maha_Pavitar

What is the definition of lust?

Lust is something we must tackle..lust doesn't exist in love/marriage

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y does it not exist in love or marriage????

couse it does but wont go into deatil as they may offend some peeps but u no wa gwan.

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Guest Maha_Pavitar

Where there is love..there is not lust..otherwise love would not exist..

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theres the obvious thing to do - dont get involved with anyone and then you will not be able to carryout acts of lust that you may look back on and regret or may look back on with fondness

life isnt that simple, and some times people get together regardless of what they are told is the wrong or right thing to do

i respect people that are able to go through their entire life and not get involved with anyone before their married. I think that was posssible a couple of decades ago and when our parents were growing up - cos as soon as you hit your late teens you were married off. Now a days there are a lot of 20 somethings that are unmarried - some actively looking for their spouse - some just thinking 'if it happens it happens' and not forcing the issue. Some of these unmarried 20 and 30 somethings will inevatbly get involved with other people before they are married. Some will get involved with people that they think they will marry, some will hope they will marry, and some who just want to be in a relationship of convenience with no pressure.

I wouldnt actively encourage people to do it - but i wouldnt look down on them as though they had done something wrong either. Its quite a tricky situation as we all know whats right and wrong but some people reach a certain point in their life where they want a partner.

We live in a western world, I live in England, Ive seen how some gorai behave with regards to relationships (not all) - I wouldnt want that to be prevalant in our culture, it does exist though within certain circles. My point is - there should be an open dating scene of some kind within our culture that isnt frowned upon. Parents are protective understandably and yes there are obvious risks involved. Things are moving on and some parents encourage their kids to be open with them and dont think the worst if they are seeing someone. There obviosly needs to be a balance though. Its weird - if we were having an operation we would obviously want a doctor who had a decent level of experience before they operated on you - you wouldnt want anyone who had never carried out an operation in their life. But when it comes to relationships - some people flip when they hear that their potential spouse has seen someone before them - how dare they!

Very rarely does anyone think - well theyve been in a relationship before, may be they have some important kwnoledge and experience to bring to this marriage. and yes there is a balance to be drawn between healthy and unhealthy relationships.

I know ive waffled - possible gone off subject with my orginal post - but thats my trade mark - i talk utter crap sometimes. Is it wrong for us to act on lust - i dont know, possibly. Is it wrong for 20 somethings to be involved in relationships with people their not married to before they are married, possibly - but who are we to judge.

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LUST

LUST or Kam is one of the 5 vikars .( kam,krodh,lobh,moh,hankar)

This whole topic applies to you only if you want to become a true sikh , if not ,ts ok do whatever you want . this is the reality . now read this :

Definition:-Lust is a feeling that is promoted by your mind to taste the bodily pleasures through your eyes, etc and your 10 "indrias". indrias means organs .

which are:

5 sense organs -

eyes,

ears,

nose,

tongue,

skin ,

5 working organs or "karm" indre

tongue

hands

feet

penis

anus

note:i m gonna be explicit , pardon me if some one is offended. this is a very sophisticated topic that is often neglected .

now when you have lust all of these your organs are involved .

your eyes see the bad things , then ur whole organs respond according to that and you know how they respond .

so in simple words lust means looking at girls or boys with bad feelings in ur mind and then physical touching and relationship to satisfy you r hunger .

In sikhism , Lust is strictly forbidden , .

love

about love i do not know that much . love is just showing how much you appreciate otyhre people and how u long to meet them or talk to them or live with them .

now love i think is a pure feeling . because you love ur mother,father,brother,sister,cousins,uncles,aunts,pets and GURU ji .

so love is not bad .

but if u say that i love a girl and if u do not think of that girl as ur sister then that is not love because then that becomes ur lust.

Guru Gobind Singh Ji says

" rehni rahe soi sikh mera oh sahib main uska chera

rehit bina neh sikh kahave rehit bina dar chota khave "

meaning :the person who follows my rehit or maryada is my sikh and who does not he has no right to call him a sikh

"rehit pyari mujko sikh pyara nahe"

meaning: guru ji loves sikh's rehat more that the sikh himself

Guru Arjan Den Ji says:

" par triya roop na dekhe netra "

meaning : your eyes should not see the lady who is not your wife "

" eka nari jati hoye par nari dhee bhain vakhane "

"dekh praayiaan changiaan maavaan dheaan bhaina jaane "

meaning: if u see beauti ful faces , those who r of ur age consider them as ur sisters , those who are elder that u consider themas ur mothers and those r very younger than u cosider them as ur daughters .

there r a thousands other tuks from gurbani condemning lust .

so there is no chance u can love a girl before marriage .

And it does not mean that once u r married u can have sex with ur wife 24 hrs . there also u have to control yourself . you have to be jati in your marriage . that's what is called nirlepta in maya .

because when semen comes out your body it takes out a lot of energy and other things that r necessary for advancing in spiritual stages and bhakti .

now here is how u can be jati in ur marriage life :

i would like to give a sakhi from the life of baba nand singh ji .

once baba ji asked a devotee to be jati in his marriage life and upon asking he asked how? then baba ji told him the method .

he said that you can have *** once in a year . if u r still not able to control urself then do it every six months . if still not able to control urself do it once in a month only . if still not able to control urself do it only once in a week on every tuesday night from 11 pm - 1 am . and then the next morning do kesi ishnan.

and if u still not control urself then u r not a sikh and it means u r engrossed in lust . "

u c this is lust . u eveb have to control it once u become married.

lust is a very dangerous thing and be careful from it because it can detroy ur years of hardwork and simran in less than a blink of the eye .it takes away everything from you .

only guru ji can save us from this lust and no on e else can .

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EXCELLENT POST Karmjeet jee

The thing is, its so hard to have/ be nirlepta coz theres so much media that is aimed at inflaming lust within us. But then thats the marag of sikhi

KMinAhu iqKI vwlhu inkI eyqu mwrig jwxw ]

kha(n)niahu thikhee vaalahu nikee eaeth maarag jaanaa ||

The path they take is sharper than a two-edged sword, and finer than a hair.

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that was an interesting read. but i'm not too sure i agree with it. why would sex be pleasurable if we weren't meant to enjoy it? and that totally makes me sound like a neophyte, but i'm just presenting an alternative perspective.

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Vaheguru je ka khalsa, vaheguru je ke fateh!!

its something called maya

if it was so easy to defeat kaam, mostly everyone around here wud be a brahm giani

and to people in kaam it is pleasurable

to people who have enjoyed bani ras, se* seems to hold no pleasure at all

cause its like a shell comapred to a diamond

its nothing

bhula chuka maf

Vaheguru je ka khalsa, vaheguru je ke fateh!!

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well im not perfect or even close. i have done many wrong things and i know i shouldn't have done be doing any of those things.

cuz after all guru gobind ji said "bagani aurat bal nahi dekhna." i forgot the words guruji used, but dats the definition.

my parents also tell me "sabh diya ma te bhan ekko jahi hundi aa".

even though i have been engaged in wrong things. i agree dat to act on lust is wrong.

love and lust r two different things.

love=it has more to do with spirits and one loves someone for not how they appear on the outside but the inside. if ur really in love..like some of my friends are...u dont want a sexucal activity from them...u just wanna be them. its certainly not a one nite thing...its a lifetime commitment.

lust=just a physical thing. it has nothin to do with wut u think of the person but wut, and how u think of someone outside appearance. its usually a one night thing.

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theres the obvious thing to do - dont get involved with anyone and then you will not be able to carryout acts of lust that you may look back on and regret or may look back on with fondness

life isnt that simple, and some times people get together regardless of what they are told is the wrong or right thing to do

i respect people that are able to go through their entire life and not get involved with anyone before their married. I think that was posssible a couple of decades ago and when our parents were growing up - cos as soon as you hit your late teens you were married off. Now a days there are a lot of 20 somethings that are unmarried - some actively looking for their spouse - some just thinking 'if it happens it happens' and not forcing the issue. Some of these unmarried 20 and 30 somethings will inevatbly get involved with other people before they are married. Some will get involved with people that they think they will marry, some will hope they will marry, and some who just want to be in a relationship of convenience with no pressure.

I wouldnt actively encourage people to do it - but i wouldnt look down on them as though they had done something wrong either. Its quite a tricky situation as we all know whats right and wrong but some people reach a certain point in their life where they want a partner.

We live in a western world, I live in England, Ive seen how some gorai behave with regards to relationships (not all) - I wouldnt want that to be prevalant in our culture, it does exist though within certain circles. My point is - there should be an open dating scene of some kind within our culture that isnt frowned upon. Parents are protective understandably and yes there are obvious risks involved. Things are moving on and some parents encourage their kids to be open with them and dont think the worst if they are seeing someone. There obviosly needs to be a balance though. Its weird - if we were having an operation we would obviously want a doctor who had a decent level of experience before they operated on you - you wouldnt want anyone who had never carried out an operation in their life. But when it comes to relationships - some people flip when they hear that their potential spouse has seen someone before them - how dare they!

Very rarely does anyone think - well theyve been in a relationship before, may be they have some important kwnoledge and experience to bring to this marriage. and yes there is a balance to be drawn between healthy and unhealthy relationships.

I know ive waffled - possible gone off subject with my orginal post - but thats my trade mark - i talk utter crap sometimes. Is it wrong for us to act on lust - i dont know, possibly. Is it wrong for 20 somethings to be involved in relationships with people their not married to before they are married, possibly - but who are we to judge.

Very Nice post....its not the previous generation only but in a few parts of Punjab still there are people who don't get involved in any relationship before marriage....

Personally....I feel emotions like love are scared ...physical union is sacred and shd be done only with in the institution of marriage....and I can never ever think of sharing those special emotions with someone other than my husband.....and moreover Sabar da falh is meetha i.e.

Fruit of patience is sweet.....Mostly....

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