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karmjeet

Celibacy : Importance , Reasons ...

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erm....if marred is sooo bad...why is it that all the gurus were married...surely they would also do parchaar to say that a celibate life is a better one...yet from my perspective the gurus wanted us to strike a balance btween living in this world and doin bhagti..

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in sikhi , we can be celibate while being married by following the rehit maryada , by thinking of opposite sex as brothers and sisters except your married partner .

Its easy for a married sikh to attain salvation than for a celibate to achieve the same results . because if a grahasti ( married sikh) commits a mistake , he can b pardoned by Guru ji , but a if a celibate does he won't be .

look at this analogy :

a married sikh ( following all the rehit ) is like an ant who goes for its detination . ant can fall but it doesn't hurt him .

A celibate is like a bird , if he falls down ( which usually doesn't happen ) he can get killed .

actually , married way is prefered by guru ji ,there is no doubt in that .

but then again being a celibate is also not bad .

Guru ji and some of the very spiritual saints like Sant Baba Nand Singh Ji , Baba Ishar Singh Ji ...........etc . all were celibate .

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Guest Javanmard

I believe in the religion of Love, whatever direction its caravans may take, for Love is my religion and my faith - Ibn 'Arabi

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I agree to a point...

but hold that for as long as there have been Nirmalay there has been celibacy

This long history among Nirmalay of clear cut celibacy can be found to such an extreme that some Nirmala rehits advise avoiding the company of women, Mahant Ganesha Singh defines a Nirmala as one who is unmarried, Pandit Gulab Singh teaches to literally 'consume with fire' all sensual desires and enjoyment.

Equally we find occasional referrences to grihasti Nirmalay, married Nirmalay. But from the nirmalay I've met, from the texts Ive read the norm is and has been celibacy in line with the practice of the khat sampati living a sadhus lifestyle.

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Not really, the confusion arises when a virakat or bihangam maryada is mapped onto a grishti maryada. Mapping one onto the other without care is dangerous and arguably irresponsible. My own view is that it is possible to practice much of khat sampti but with modifications to suit a grisht jeevan. Further there are examples whereby both the partners in the marriage have moved from grishti to virakat for example Sant Waryam Singh and Santni (I forget her name). Again it all begins with vivek.

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Guest Javanmard

I believe in the religion of Love, whatever direction its caravans may take, for Love is my religion and my faith - Ibn 'Arabi

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tsingh and shaka have both alluded to something very important....

us looking at mahapurash/sants/saadhs/nihangs/gurmukhs...and emulating their life....

truly my brothers and sisters, you are not in their shoes so emulation is more an act of ego-rooted perfection when played out than an emmanation of a sincere thrive.

now, to make it simple. you should befriend guru sahib. take out the middle man, and just get in touch with the truth if reading ramkali vi vaar, doing seva and reading about history brings you close to god...by all means do so. just because someone has done it doesn't mean it'll work for you..guruji made you (Guru meaning god)...you've been tailored to be an individual, doesn't it make sense for you to have your own tailored path ?

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the confusion arises when a virakat or bihangam maryada is mapped onto a grishti maryada.

I completely agree ..that's where the problem rises...one cannot mix these two maryada together; there are some significant differences ie- differences of diet , jugtiya, updesh.

btw, i heard celibate(behingums/virakat) shish are given medication(herbal) by their gurdev's to stop erection and stop semen seed to flow outside so that the energy gets perserved for meditation. Can anyone confirm this??

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If growing ones hair is a sign of keeping with Gods will then in my opinion celebacy is the rejection of Gods will. God made man and woman to have sex and to procreate.. he gave us the parts to do so and the desire to do so.

Now Ill speak from a muslim point of view as I am muslim but Im sure there are truths we can agree on despite the label. God has given man and woman desire to have sex but He outlines what would make it lawful for us and what would make it unlawful for us. If sex outside of marriage is seen as a sin because this makes us give in to our lusts then sex inside of marriage is seen as a blessing. In fact for muslims marriage is considered to be half of our faith and marriage ofcourse includes sex.

Lust set loose and wild is destructive to ourselves, our society and our spiritual well being. Lust controlled and applied properly can strengthen and enhance the love between a husband and wife.

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Guest Javanmard

I believe in the religion of Love, whatever direction its caravans may take, for Love is my religion and my faith - Ibn 'Arabi

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Not really, the confusion arises when a virakat or bihangam maryada is mapped onto a grishti maryada. Mapping one onto the other without care is dangerous and arguably irresponsible. My own view is that it is possible to practice much of khat sampti but with modifications to suit a grisht jeevan. Further there are examples whereby both the partners in the marriage have moved from grishti to virakat for example Sant Waryam Singh and Santni (I forget her name). Again it all begins with vivek.

veer ji can u please define the 2 words in bold.

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virakat means free, unattached denoting a sadhu lifestyle, bihangam has much the same implication through the term denoting birds (again unattached)

khat sampti is a set of practices and ethics that sadhus adopt including mindfulness, celibacy, unattachedness, etc

On the issues since raised, yes there are ayurvedic treatments to reduce rajo gun...as for celibacy in marriage being a sin, I personally don't think in terms of sins, and would argue that if both partners accept restraint or even celibacy and move into sattvagun then there is nothing wrong in that. I can think of examples from the last century and important Nirmalay now who live in grishti lifestyle following a sattvic maryada. It is when one imposes it onto another that it is unethical to my mind.

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yes there are ayurvedic treatments to reduce rajo gun...

This is interesting tsingh veer ji, can you shed little light on specific type of treatements and also what exactly is rajo gun in human being? is it animal type of instinct ie- lust, greed?

Another thing i wanted to ask is sattvic maryada? can you tell us exactly what is sattvic maryada ? what principles does this maryada contains?

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I read somewhere once that "to be truly spiritual, you must reduce or cut down on 3 things - Sex, food and sleep" The reason for this is they promote attachment to the gross body. With sex i believe it is not just physical but mental. If you even think sexual thoughts this leads to loss of ojas. Indian wrestlers who promote a Brahmcarya lifestyle also say a person who controls sexual desires can be noticed by a healthy glow around his face, this is ojas. Prevention of ejaculation or even doing Vajroli (where semen is sucked back up the penis) does not ensure retention of ojas. Pure brahmcarya involves a high level of mental purity, not just abstaining from sex. Subjective purity not Objective

BUT as they say Ek Nari - Brahmchari, this means even being married you can be brahmcarya by controlling or destroying lusty thoughts. To go back to the first point about Ojas, why would a singh want to cultivate ojas. Because it improves concentration and you can do simran one-pointedly without images of breasts etc. popping up in your mind. Why do you think wrestlers are brahmchari, it gives a person more strength energy and concentration ability, you can do simran for hours and hours and hours.

Just another point, to get obsessed about controlling desires or abstaining from sex is bad. If you feel like sexing it up don't repress the desire, let it get destroyed on its own, by keeping in mind that you want burn all desires, and one day you will beleive it.

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SOME of you seem to be missing the all-important paragraph:

"If a man leads a life of celibacy even in his householder's life and has copulation occasionally for the sake of progeny only, he can bring forth healthy, intelligent, strong, beautiful, self-sacrificing children."

:)

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one of the things that has helped me the most in controlling lust has been keeping the Guru Ang Sang. He sees what we do, hears what we say, and knows what we think. Pretty hard to then go and do bad things or to indulge in kaamic thoughts too much.

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most of things written in top article is not practical and written outta ignorance. i've seen celibate are easy to be irritated and full of ego. what this article forgot to mention is semen would come out during sleep at night. semen stays within body when dasam dwar is open until then you may try million times to keep it inside body it would come out(natural law)

also remember tantra tells you many ways to ejaculate and yet not let out semen, try that if you are so fussy about being celibate. it works! you can recycle most of the energy within your body instead of letting out.

also note that gurbani tells that mukti comes through gurukirpa and naam not from doing yogi monkey tricks

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