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karmjeet

How to become celibate when married ?

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The celibates i know are old school gursikhs from sampradaye. Their mindsets and lifestyle are different and were more geared to be celibate.

now i think you should try to be a normal couple while trying to practice sikhi

kaam can be involved in marriage thats why we practice sikhi so its influence lessens. You cant take preventative measures, its according to your avasta so I recommend finding someone likeminded as you. 
 

if you feel intense kaam everyday and your married then you gotta channel it. If you're not married, get married and in the meantime, try to progress physically, spiritually and in any other way you like.

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On 5/6/2005 at 12:05 PM, Guest said:

I read in a book by sant baba jagjit singh ji harkhowalaey that-

There was conversation sakhi between Guru Ji and Mardana regarding celibacy in gristh hood...Guru Ji said you can have kids without having any phsyical relationship if you are highest spiritual stage. I found it very fascninating.

quote from that book:

Guru Ji then replied that reproducting children is done through "dristhi bhog" (Pure Vision). The people there practised naam with each and every pore of their bodies. On the basis of truth the women give birth just by looking at their partners eyes. At bhramgyan stage, one does not need to have intercourse to reproduce an kid.

:) 

 

 

 

 

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How to become celibate when married ?

To answer this question, let us first see what is to become a  celibate.

Celibate at its peak, is the absence of kaam vaasna. And we all know kaam, is one of the 5 chor, probably the most dreadful of all the vices, it has dragged down big rishis and munis, it affects also the residents of the astral and causal planes.

Ravan, who was such a gyani, he had overpowered the gods ,  strong devotee of Lord Shiva, he was full of  supernatural powers, and also filled from toes to head with all the 5 vikars, thus impure minded. 

Among all his vikars, it is seen that his kaam vaasna,  by desiring to possess someone´s else wife, was the reason for his downfall, he died like a mad dog...

Nature is wise, when gods even could not defeat him, it was this very vaasna, which dragged him to the muds. 

To commit (adultery)sin with someone´s wife, or woman apart from one´s wife is the biggest sin that one can commit.  And the punishment for it heavy also, is like voluntarily jumping into fire to burn into ashes.

To try to overcome it by any means, is as good as impossible.

Except  when one is showered with His apaar kirpa, and one attaches  himself/herself  with Nam within.

For as the Bani says: Prabh ka simran, mun kee mael jaae.

If there was any other way, Guru Jee would sure let us know, but He constantly throughout  the Bani, tells us to join our surtee with Nam, through His simran.

 

There where Nam is,  there is no kaam, nor any other chor.

There where shines the absence of Nam, kaam and all vices fall as heavy chains on the  jeeva.

Nam is the liberator from all sins, from all negative tendencies, stops for once and ever the unending cycle of births and deaths, and finally,  purifies us to the extent, that we merge and become one with Waheguru Akal Purukh.

The thing is, to attach oneself to Nam, is not in the hands of anyone.

It is not like saying, I feel like having a cup of tea, so goes to the kitchen and makes a cup of it.

Rather, it is only by His apaar kirpa, that one practices Nam bhakti.

In that respect, the following beautiful verse from the Bani is crystal clear

naanak har jee ma-i-aa kar sabad savaaranhaar.
O Nanak, when the Dear Lord shows kindness, He adorns His bride with the Word of His Shabad.

 

Stay blessed.

SSA.


 

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22 hours ago, harsharan000 said:

Ravan, who was such a gyani, he had overpowered the gods ,  strong devotee of Lord Shiva, he was full of  supernatural powers, and also filled from toes to head with all the 5 vikars, thus impure minded. 

Among all his vikars, it is seen that his kaam vaasna,  by desiring to possess someone´s else wife, was the reason for his downfall, he died like a mad dog...

Nature is wise, when gods even could not defeat him, it was this very vaasna, which dragged him to the muds. 

To commit (adultery)sin with someone´s wife, or woman apart from one´s wife is the biggest sin that one can commit.  And the punishment for it heavy also, is like voluntarily jumping into fire to burn into ashes.

I think we should differentiate between having a desire for someone else's women, and having a desire for your own spouse. To equate the two is a big error in my opinion. 

Thing with marriage is that it is a two way thing. It's all well and good if one side wants to be a celibate, but what if the other half doesn't? Is it fair to spring such majorly life changing things on another unexpected?

Plus, bhai ji, since I read DG and learnt that Ramchandar Ji may have started the conflict by chopping off Ravan's sister's nose, when she flirted with him, I've always been a bit reserved on perceiving Ravan as some 'bad guy' in some binary style conception i.e. Ramchandar = Good; Ravan = Bad.   

I agree that kaam vaasna is one of the strongest (if not thee strongest!) vikaars though. 

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18 minutes ago, dalsingh101 said:

I think we should differentiate between having a desire for someone else's women, and having a desire for your own spouse. To equate the two is a big error in my opinion. 

Thing with marriage is that it is a two way thing. It's all well and good if one side wants to be a celibate, but what if the other half doesn't? Is it fair to spring such majorly life changing things on another unexpected?

Plus, bhai ji, since I read DG and learnt that Ramchandar Ji may have started the conflict by chopping off Ravan's sister's nose, when she flirted with him, I've always been a bit reserved on perceiving Ravan as some 'bad guy' in some binary style conception i.e. Ramchandar = Good; Ravan = Bad.   

I agree that kaam vaasna is one of the strongest (if not thee strongest!) vikaars though. 

SSA Bro,

when I mentioned Ravan's example, my point was not only of desiring others wives/spouses, but that of in spite of acquiring so many powers due to his intense jap/tap/....had so much gyan, yet he could not overcome his vikars, especially "kaam" and ahankar.

You see, there is a big difference between becoming celibate and celibate...

It is by His apaar kirpa, that one reaches that state of celibacy by attaching oneself to Nam within. 

Though there is not much to worry about, for when one looks at the embodiment of the highest purity and eternal Truth, in the form of our Guru Sahiban for example, they too had children, but that does not mean they had any vikars, least to say about  kaam, plus that much be added of which we ordinary humans maybe are not aware that those wadbhagee souls who reach that level of higher conciousness, work or act, accordingly to the laws of Nature, they never do anything against that law.

It is only from our level, our side, that we have doubts, because we are very low.

Plus, when one approaches Waheguru with true love and true devotion, He will take care of all his/her needs or envoirments such as family settlements....plus that high spiritual state is out of any ordinary or intellectual mental state.

Bhakti is not a path of words nor speculation, but of applying oneself to that desired spiritual practice.

And about Ram being good or Ravan bad, I am not going to enter into any controversies, let everyone decide for himself or herself, and have their own conclusions, though that much I will surely say, look it from a higher and wider perspective.

It  is said that  Ravan was a watchman at Vishnu's darbar, so once some brahmins or sages wanted to enter and meet Vishnu.

As they were not allowed to enter, so they cursed that watchman to be born as rakshash in several births. Then Vishnu came and told him that once the curse is given, it can not be taken back, but as he was just doing his duty, thus in each birth of his, He himself would come to deliver or rescue him. That is why he came as Krishna, as Ram, as Narsing...etc. 

For when that deity comes to deliver you from life, you are to go to his abode, in this case, of lord Vishnu.

I don't know how much truth is in it, but from all theories it makes sense to me, at least.

This was something I read quite long long ago from some hindu religious book, so don't take each word as exact, but as a pointer to that scene.

SSA.

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