John K

Thank you my friends for all your correspondence. I was afraid maybe this was a disease state because I have some physical maniafestations such as the fizzle(crackle) and feelings of fullness. Sat1176 you mentioned that the sound current does have physical manifestations, reading that did ease some fears Would you believe this is more of an energetic phenomenon rather than an organic one? I will follow up with the resources you have given me. Thank you.

I live in Chicagoland area. Thank you!

Hello brothers! I'm glad I stumbled upon this thread and I hope you can provide me some insight. A quick background, I followed many meditative paths throughout my life. One of the was a Sant Mat(Rhadoswami Path). One day, while meditating, the sound current, spontaneously started in my left ear. I was overjoyed, until some members told me that was Kal, etc. etc. and it freaked me out, because it freaked me out so much I kept my attention on it constantly monitoring(my subconscious saw this as a huge threat so it was constantly checkin, checking, etc, etc. I'm also prone to OCD and have had considerably childhood trauma). *Note I was able to centralize the sound when I worked with it but I gave up as I was frustrated, fearful and hadn't had the equanimity of mind. I struggled with it for a while until, I focused on life and ultimately found another teaching and forgot about the sound, didn't hear it for many years. I was very zealous about meditation. This one in particular I would meditate for many hours a day and go on extended retreats. I suffered so much with my mind throughout my life that I was actually using meditation as a drug of sorts. Fast forward many years of head based practice and I had a spontaneous kundalini awakening and my crown chakra open. I felt my entire life force get pushed out of the top of my head and out of the chakra at the back of the head. Life was miserable for many years(and still is to a degree) I was disorientated and felt like I was going to lose my mind. I was so ungrounded and dissociated constantly I could barely function and my saintly wife more or less took care of me and my affairs. Literature and some teachers advised me to ground my practice, which I did. I started a downward, body-scan type meditation and focusing on my breath at the belly, going for long walks, focusing attention at my feet. I practiced rather vigilantly. I started feeling better. I could connect to the world, to my wife, to my children, I felt like I was waking up from some sort of coma. I was delighted. About 6 months ago, I started feeling heat(chi) around my left ear and next. I would also notice swirling energy in that area. I thought nothing of it and thought of it as something positive. This heat and swirling continued randomly for a couple more weeks. Then one morning I woke up and my left ear was screaming, EEEEEEEEEEEEEE, accompanied by little tinker bells in the exact area of the hear, again, I thought nothing of it and more or less continued with my life trying to function with this noise. I even went to a chiropractor that did an adjustment and I felt that flow of warm heat down my left ear, down my neck and into my shoulder. I again thought this was a positive sign of some energy channel opening. When I would meditated with this noise it seemed it became louder and encompased my head like a halo. Fast forward A couple of weeks past and it really lost it's intensity, but I foolishly decided to venture into the internet to read about what this was. I came across stories of poor souls who just had some of the darkest, darkest stories about their battle with tinnitus(I wont go into details), etc, etc... and that was the hook, that's all it took. I then became immensely afraid as well. I started having panic attacks, the noise would get louder, the bells would get more intense, I would get more panic stricken, a really vicious cycle. I would go days without sleeping and I was literally letting this noise drive me crazy(all the trauma from the kundalini, my fight or flight system was geared for the worst). I would check "it" first thing in the morning, and last thing at night. It consumed me, I literally spent 90% of my thought about it, and I would perpetuate my suffering by reading these awful stories online. I was so hyper-vigilant I would focus on it, all the little sounds(I called it alien morse code) and could not stop myself. All the crisis lead me to start dissociating again, an interesting side note when I become totally dissociated, there was just pure silence.... it was very interesting and I believe it might be meaningful in some way. What do you all think about it? Is it sound current, is it tinnitus? At one point I convinced myself it was sound current and guess what(it dissapeared) but that didn't last and my mind took me down the damn same rabbit hole again. So, here I am, still reeling, found this thread and thought it might be a good idea to check in with you all. Waheguru and love John