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Emotional Video..of True Story


bhooliya

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amardeep,Dalsingh

The question here is not who is marrying whom.The question is One of the quite popular sikh blog is portraying this marriage something as some kind of

good thing.I could not have posted this news/story if I found it in newspaper or anything else but a sikh blog publishing and calling it a nice story is too much to grasp

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Glorifying Interfaith marriages

http://thelangarhall.com/musings/just-a-nice-story/

The so called popular progressive sikh blogs are glorifying interfaith marriage of Amritdhari Girl with jew.I think many sikhs have adopted the western mentality of interfaith marriage even though they consider themselve practicing.In that case it is going to quite easy for muslims or any other religion to marry a sikh girl

Jews are a great people. I got nothing against them. But inter religious marriages just should not be taking place in the Sikh Panth. We are already a small minority and with our girls marrying out, this will just further deplete our numbers. Soon we will end up like the Indian Zoroastrian/Parsi community. Sites like that so called progressive "Sikh" blog (Langar Hall) which promote such liberal bull$hit is exactly what is wrong with the Panth right now. It is just a matter of time before we see so called "Sikh" sites glorifying Muslims marrying Sikh girls.

In India it is very common to Sikh daughters of Sikh army officers always marrying Hindu men when they grow up. Usually the children of such marital unions are never raised as Sikhs. The state of our Panth is so depressing that I try to avoid thinking about it because I usally start getting depressed and sad as a result.

Edited by Mithar
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We got bigger things to worry about. If her family accepts it then whats the reason for others to interfere

I agree with you that if family accepts then who are we? But there are families where Amritdhari's could have been drinking and their families have no problem about it but I don't think any sikh blog or site will publish the story of that guy calling it nice and cool

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The state of our Panth is so depressing that I try to avoid thinking about it because I usally start getting depressed and sad as a result.

No, don't. This is when we need to be strong and smart more than ever. The truth is that a whole new global world has emerged recently, we are just failing to meet the changes creatively with circumspection. We are so conservative that we ignore everything until the walls around us are tumbling down.

Edited by dalsingh101
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I hate to get this personal but.......she aint no Amritdhari surely! Which Amritdhari wears fishnet stockings and earrings?

post-3203-127473205398_thumb.jpg

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http://thelangarhall.com/musings/just-a-nice-story/#comments

One should read comments of sikh girls their.Almost all

of them are supportive of this marriage.Is it any wonder that muslims target sikh girls so easily.I hate to say this but it looks like sikh girls are lost cause

Its better for sikhism if they concentrate on boys.Men and women are different and they do think differently

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Sorry, but that is a stupid comment.

Instead of promoting further isolation/internal problems, think about how best to raise your own daughter.

I know many Sikhs girls (Amritdhari and not) that very intelligent, respectful and love their Dharam (or are trying hard to learn about it).

They value their Gurus and Parents honour above all else.

What needs to be done is less speculation and theorising (manmat)and actually seeing what works.

Girls need sangat of Sikhnian, they need quality parchaar (with all due respect) not typical Gurdwara angle or PT parent angle, parents (our generation) need to bring all skills in house, gyaan, ithihaas, kirtan, shastar vidya, niti, Santhiya/gurbani ucharan etc and make all these things 'normal routines' in the household. Secondly, we need establish a quality network of sangat around us, so they have other kids to befriend and socialise (influence and be influenced) with in Gurmat areas.

If they (gurkirpa) become amritdhari, the rehits should be drummed into their heads, not just a list of regulations, but arth done on each of them in depth, so they know the real importance/reason for their existance and adherance i.e. amritdharis must marry amritdharis because a, b, c etc..

As with all things, prevention is the best measure, I find the general conversations across the net today (esp hot headed youth) focus on the 'now' and completely ignore the tomorrow.

The sad truth is that 'now' holds little power, Guru has given us a whole jeevan (way of life) which is meant to ensure prosperity in all ways for the future, sadly, we expect a quick fix can restore that prosperity, no. It will take a lost generation to replace that jeevan which was sadly lost be the 3? successive previous generations, before families, Panth etc becomes rock solid etc.

All we can really do is apply localised efforts i.e. change your own life before commenting on others. Have you taken Khande de Pahul, do you do amritvela, simran, kirtan, paat, seva, SV, do you study ithihaas, atmik gyaan ,listen to quality kathaa etc..

We need to make these changes to ourselves, then our household, then get involved in doing what we can in the above areas for the youth at our Gurdwarai. This isn't something only a few select people should be doing, but everyone. If we help change youth in our Guru Ghar, our own kids will see the benifit of that tomorrow as they will grow up with/do sangat with other Gursikhs.

It seems people are looking for socio-political solutions, these will always be marred by our manmat, what we need to do is take the devotional leap, and put all our trust in Gurus charan, he will not abandon you.

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Shaheediyan,

You have been very pro-Dasam Granth on the forum. I agree with much of what you have written above but feel that it lacks a consideration of the wider impact of 'social norms' on minorities living and growing up in alien majority environments. This brings a whole new, very powerful dynamic to the situation.

My big question to you is what understanding can we specifically draw from Chatrio Pakyaan in relation to the type of issues under discussion in this and other threads in relation to female psychology/behaviour as exhibited by some bibis? Please don't take the easy route and blame everything on foolish wannabe 'Punjabi romeos'.

Edited by dalsingh101
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Sorry, but that is a stupid comment.

May be my comment is stupid but sometime there is harsh truth in stupid comments and it takes lots of guts to write these type of comments.

From Past5 years I am reading discussions on different sikh forums on interfaith marriages and in almost all discussions sikh women use to most supportive of these marriages.anyway you may say that these are just forums

Now coming to real life ,in Urban India the epidemic of sikh girls with non sikhs started in 90s when sikh girls started doing jobs .Were these sikh girls unaware

of sikhism? Were their fathers or brothers were abusive?.The answer is that in majority of cases that was not the reason.The impact of media,feminism , bollywood was too much on them.

Btw I am not saying that all sikh girls are going to marry non sikhs.What I am saying is that god has given some basic nature to men and women .Where men are more inclined towards in preserving their religion or culture women on the other hand can get easily carried away when they see their prince charming.So may even after doing all you have said we may not get desired result because we cannot change what is natural.

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Where men are more inclined towards in preserving their religion or culture women on the other hand can get easily carried away when they see their prince charming.So may even after doing all you have said we may not get desired result because we cannot change what is natural.

Very well observed. We can't say that it is true for all but it is true for most cases.

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What I am saying is that god has given some basic nature to men and women .Where men are more inclined towards in preserving their religion or culture women on the other hand can get easily carried away when they see their prince charming.So may even after doing all you have said we may not get desired result because we cannot change what is natural.

If this is true, Singhs had better learn those 'Prince Charming' skills quickly.

Personally I think some sort of threshold exists, whereby, if a certain percentage of 'Sikh' women marry out, most of the rest of them wont hesitate to either and it will actually be the preferred thing to do.. In essence it becomes normative behaviour.

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If this is true, Singhs had better learn those 'Prince Charming' skills quickly.

You are right Singhs should learn but their are some problems in it.

A Singh chasing a girl is going to be seen as some person who is not following his code of conduct properly even though his intention is pure

It is a well known fact that many sikh girls don't like facial hairs so may be they will not see them as their prince charming.Mona sikhs are not going to find this problem

With our religion in minority it is not necessary that sikh man and woman could come to contact in University or workplace

Personally I think some sort of threshold exists, whereby, if a certain percentage of 'Sikh' women marry out, most of the rest of them wont hesitate to either and it will actually be the preferred thing to do.. In essence it becomes normative behaviour.

You are absolutely spot on here.In Punjab cutting hair became normative behavior as a result majority of youths cut their hair on the other hand in urban cities it is not normative behaviour for sikh to discard turban that's why we don't see majority of boys discarding turban

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there's several types of girl. some have no contact with sikhi beyond occasional gurdwara outings. they are bollywood/hollywood types. and really that's that when it comes to them.

others have a bit more contact with sikhi but can go either way. these are ones we're losing as a kaum as the others are lost already. there are also those who are raised in sikhi and that's what they are interested in.

the problem... it's a lack of confidence in young sikh males. for some reason, they just totally lack confidence when speaking with women. this is probably due to a lack of bani, too much kaam (which makes them self-conscious), and outside pressures regarding hair/dastar. confidence is created from naam, good sangat, and overcoming challenges that are meaningful to the person.

a number of girls at my uni sikh soc were interested in me and i never was soft or westernised in my views. in fact, out of my entire sikh soc, my views were consistently the most kattar on rahit and i was sometimes opposed by the majority of sikh soc members during discussions (usually i won them over :) ). girls (that are worth even considering) look for a man who is confident in himself, who has strong principles, and who will NOT make the girl the center of his universe. the man has to be a big enough man that he has other good stuff going on in his life. Even if girls think they want to be the center, trust me, they don't. That's not the mark of a man to do that romeo garbage or play the uber-sensitive feminized male, these are not respectable ways for men to approach women. and women also lose respect for guys who do this, despite the fact that they think this is what they want due to socialisation.

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Shaheediyan,

You have been very pro-Dasam Granth on the forum. I agree with much of what you have written above but feel that it lacks a consideration of the wider impact of 'social norms' on minorities living and growing up in alien majority environments. This brings a whole new, very powerful dynamic to the situation.

Shaheediyan is right in that it is only Guru's kirpa that can free one from the influence of the 5 thieves, but it is certainly very helpful to have a little background in the things you are talking about.

My big question to you is what understanding can we specifically draw from Chatrio Pakyaan in relation to the type of issues under discussion in this and other threads in relation to female psychology/behaviour as exhibited by some bibis? Please don't take the easy route and blame everything on foolish wannabe 'Punjabi romeos'.

A few books on evolutionary psychology everyone should read are Sperm Wars by Robin Baker and The Red Queen by Matt Ridley. They explain in biological terms why the kind of women described in the Charitars exist (and have always existed). Deep abhyaas on the Charitars is necessary to be able to spot and avoid these kind of women.

K.

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Deep abhyaas on the Charitars is necessary to be able to spot and avoid these kind of women.

The issue at hand is what we must do to prevent ourselves being a society that produces a lot of jananis like this?

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91@Xylitol

You are absolutely right, women want strong confident men. Personally I don't buy into the notion that a turban and beard automatically make men unattractive. Truth is a good looking bloke is still one, with without a turban and facial hair. I've known plenty of turbaned and bearded Sikh guys who've made women weak at the knees.

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