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No Kaur, Anand Karaj


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Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

Satsri Akaal to all Sikh Sangat

I am writing to raise my concerns in regards to Sikh marriages. I am a Sikh, however I wasn’t baptised at birth and my parents never put Kaur in my name. However I am a Sikh at heart and I do follow my religion. I respect all the values and beliefs of Sikhi. I have a strong understanding of the Khalsa and Guru Gobind Singh Ji. I have always believed that in order to become a Singh, one has to take Amrit and be baptised. Sikhs nowadays ‘casually’ include Singh and Kaur as their middle name or surname, to show that they are a Sikh, however the Singh name is mandatory for baptised Sikhs.

The reason why I am raising my concerns is because I am getting married soon, and whilst registering at the gurdwara I was looked down upon, because I don’t use Kaur in my name. I was also told that I am unable to have an Anand Karaj due to this problem. Apparently, the right thing to do is to change my name to Kaur. Why should I put Kaur in my name, when I am not a baptised Sikh? How can somebody tell you that you are not a Sikh! I worship at the gurdwara and I believe in the following principles; not to be greedy, equality, help others, not to show off, justice, live a family life, think about God. Sikhi is about being a good human being abeliving in the quality of mankind Guru Nanak wasn’t a Singh. Guru Gobind Singh initiated the Khalsa for Sikhs to be BAPTISED and take AMRIT.

I know many Singh’s who do consider the caste system. Most Sikh’s don’t use Kaur or Singh purely on the basis that they weren’t baptised at birth. You get married in the eyes of God. I would rather become a baptised Sikh at an age where I am able to understand the responsibilities of baptism. I know a few people who were baptised at birth, however now they have cut their hair and do everything that Sikhi prohibits. Also, there are some Sikhs who drink alcohol, do drugs and who know nothing about their religion. They belive that they are superior just because they wear a patka. Many years ago, Hindu’s, Khatri’s and Brahmins used Singh as their surnames. Are they Sikh? No! A Sikh who doesn’t possess Kaur or Singh as their middle name SHOULD be able have an Anand Karaj in the Gurdwara.

Thank you for listening.

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It seems like in the attempt to get things right with the anand karaj and interfaith marriages, the committee have unfortunately got it wrong. Maybe you could try again and appeal to the committe, as you have an intention and I presume your husband to be does too of following the gurus rehat?

If all fails sister you could try another gurdwara, but don't lose heart.

Congratulations also, hope waheguru blesses both you and your husband with happiness, love and the gurus rehat.


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