Practical Ways Of Avoiding Lust

[sevak]

Ok

[dalsingh101]

9 hours ago, Lucky said:

 

Charitrophakhyiian actually teaches you how to shape your mind and psyche to deal with situations where mind can get lured into the tricks and temptations of females.

I do think there is a big part of that, but I think also a lot of other things are broached too. And even wise, adult, discerning females reading it can gain from it. 

[paapiman]

On 8/4/2021 at 11:51 PM, sevak said:

Kaam cannot be underestimated and it is actually ਵਾਹਿਗੁਰੂ maya jaal. It should not be tested. A sincere jigasu better avoid those tricky, slippery situations. 
 

Rinku Ji (Bombay Wale) of Amrit Vela Trust who are connected to Baba Nand Singh ji has said that if a person says he conqueror vashna. He will never ever believe that person. 

@dalsingh101 - We should combine your approach and the above idea.

Try to avoid murky situations as much as possible, but be prepared to tackle them when faced by them.

We need to remember that Charitars are not only teaching us to handle tricky situations, but they are also advising us to NOT get into those murky situations, in the first place itself.

 

Bhul chuk maaf

[dalsingh101]

On 8/17/2021 at 9:51 PM, paapiman said:

We should combine your approach and the above idea.

Try to avoid murky situations as much as possible, but be prepared to tackle them when faced by them.

We need to remember that Charitars are not only teaching us to handle tricky situations, but they are also advising us to NOT get into those murky situations, in the first place itself.

Look, when young, attraction may be one thing. When older, no so much. I don't think it's remotely healthy to avoid women because someone may be fearful of their effect on them.

It's only as big a deal as you make it, and unless a person has deviant, violent, sexually predatory instincts, it's no biggy imo. 

I think a lot of problems actually stem from blokes with no experience with interacting with women, who then do so, and behave with their animal instincts.   

[Lucky]

31 minutes ago, dalsingh101 said:

I think a lot of problems actually stem from blokes with no experience with interacting with women, who then do so, and behave with their animal instincts. 

100%. 

[paapiman]

On 8/18/2021 at 5:16 PM, dalsingh101 said:

I don't think it's remotely healthy to avoid women because someone may be fearful of their effect on them.

Daas is almost sure that you would agree that we must try to avoid the company of sexually promiscuous women and those women who are trying to seduce you (which you had alluded to earlier in the discussion). You don't want to end up being a name on the bucket list of a woman.

Other than that, Rehatvaan Singhs should not have a problem in interacting with women.

 

Bhul chuk maaf

[dalsingh101]

38 minutes ago, paapiman said:

Daas is almost sure that you would agree that we must try to avoid the company of sexually promiscuous women and those women who are trying to seduce you (which you had alluded to earlier in the discussion). You don't want to end up being a name on the bucket list of a woman.

Other than that, Rehatvaan Singhs should not have a problem in interacting with women.

 

Bhul chuk maaf

You know what another problem with your approach is, it actually has the opposite effect sometimes, and the women sense your fear and then start teasing you even more to see you squirm. Then groups of them do it, just for a laugh. Then they'll trying to start to embarrass you about your 'manliness'. So you can make things worse that way too.

I think the secret is to let a women down easily if she wants sex, without hurting her pride. That's alluded to in the famous Anandpur Chariter in CP. As Tupac said (or was it the bible?) 'Hell hath no fury like a women scorned'.  

Thing is, like when I did work in the city offices when I was younger, you couldn't get away from promiscuous women. You have to work with them. You meet them at uni. Or when you go out to a restaurant with your pals. 

And to be honest, in life there are MUCH WORSE situations you can find yourself in. 

 

Another point: If you did want to get married, women showing interest in a man, makes the man look more attractive to other women. 

[sevak]

53 minutes ago, paapiman said:

Daas is almost sure that you would agree that we must try to avoid the company of sexually promiscuous women and those women who are trying to seduce you (which you had alluded to earlier in the discussion). You don't want to end up being a name on the bucket list of a woman.

Other than that, Rehatvaan Singhs should not have a problem in interacting with women.

 

Bhul chuk maaf

Pls ask the fashion designer and the women wearing — with what intentions & goals these dresses are designed? Its Kal Yug era —- ppl take pride in being “sexy”, showing off their “sexy” Body. So you may get enticed. 
 

Read biographies of various Sants on this. Sant Baba Harnaam Singh Rampur Khera use to lower their gaze in their young age when women would pass by.

Someone suggested we should mix with females at beaches??? Test ourselves? 

[paapiman]

1 hour ago, dalsingh101 said:

and the women sense your fear and then start teasing you even more to see you squirm. Then groups of them do it, just for a laugh. Then they'll trying to start to embarrass you about your 'manliness'.

Bro, you are probably way more experienced that me in these issues, but, IMHO, women will sense your fear, when you actually have fear in you. When someone does not even fear death, then women will probably stay away from that type of a guy. Well, maybe the ladies might find him scary.

Also, don't these promiscuous women usually not pick on visibly religious guys (like Singhs)?

 

Bhul chuk maaf

[sevak]

7 minutes ago, paapiman said:

Also, don't these promiscuous women usually not pick on visibly religious guys (like Singhs)?

 

Bhul chuk maaf

In my opinion women dont like to be around Singhs. Taliban-mentality perception and women rights issue. 

[paapiman]

1 hour ago, sevak said:

Pls ask the fashion designer and the women wearing — with what intentions & goals these dresses are designed? Its Kal Yug era —- ppl take pride in being “sexy”, showing off their “sexy” Body. So you may get enticed. 
 

Read biographies of various Sants on this. Sant Baba Harnaam Singh Rampur Khera use to lower their gaze in their young age when women would pass by.

Someone suggested we should mix with females at beaches??? Test ourselves? 

IMHO, we must always do Ardas in front of Sri Satguru jee, pleading him to not test us.

 

Bhul chuk maaf

[paapiman]

3 minutes ago, sevak said:

In my opinion women dont like to be around Singhs. Taliban-mentality perception and women rights issue. 

Are you serious? Have you experienced that?

Devout Sikhs are the opposite of Taliban.

 

Bhul chuk maaf

[dalsingh101]

21 minutes ago, paapiman said:

Bro, you are probably way more experienced that me in these issues, but, IMHO, women will sense your fear, when you actually have fear in you.

I think inexperience leads to some degree of uncertainty which they pick up on. I've found some women infinitely more perceptive on small things most blokes would miss out on. They are like natural psychologists. The only blokes like that I know of are sociopaths. 

And I'm only talking about experience because my moms was REAL strict about not mixing with females growing up. I went to boys only schools from 10 onwards and then mostly other male dominated places and workspaces until my mid 20s when I went uni and mixed with females. I used to get teased by some big time, I didn't know what it was then. Then at my first post-graduation jobs.  A lot of mixed signals were sent. Sometimes females tease and torture blokes for fun, or to get his attention. I had no idea about this until I was older.

Quote

When someone does not even fear death, then women will probably stay away from that type of a guy. Well, maybe the ladies might find him scary.

If a bloke is genuinely not a afraid of death and masculine, that would be really attractive to a lot of women.  A lot of females like guys with strong auras, not being afraid of death is brave.

 

Quote

Also, don't these promiscuous women usually not pick on visibly religious guys (like Singhs)?

It depends on how they perceive the bloke, and how attracted they are to him. I've known keshdhari guys (not amritdhari) who were quite promiscuous themselves, so I don't know if it's simple like that? Remember for a lot of people, the kesh and dastaar are almost like some Panjabi regional identity thing, more than a 'religious' statement. 'Sardar' types you see in the pubs all the time. 

[paapiman]

1 hour ago, dalsingh101 said:

You know what another problem with your approach is, it actually has the opposite effect sometimes,

Maybe in terms of opposite effect (your point makes sense too), Daas was thinking the following. If you don't pay much attention to them, but on the other hand, you are also very helpful to them (when they need help), give them occasional compliments and you are very manly, they (a lot of them) might actually end up being more attracted to you.

What do you say bro?

 

Bhul chuk maaf

[dalsingh101]

25 minutes ago, sevak said:

In my opinion women dont like to be around Singhs. Taliban-mentality perception and women rights issue. 

I think females only have to meet a few Singhs who give off vibes of being narrow minded, controlling and strict to form that opinion. I think extended family issues (especially nau-suss dynamics) are also very unattractive to them.

Women can be complicated like that, often they want a strong attractive man to dominate them, but don't want to feel choked and imprisoned. Then if a bloke has a moms that's excessively overbearing and unreasonable, and the son doesn't ever admit and try and deal with that when it gets out of hand, the women loses all respect for the bloke. Sometimes a bloke is stuck inbetween a battle between his moms and his wife. 

[paapiman]

2 minutes ago, dalsingh101 said:

If a bloke is genuinely not a afraid of death and masculine, that would be really attractive to a lot of women.  A lot of females like guys with strong auras, not being afraid of death is brave.

Generally speaking you are completely right. It makes full sense for most women to be attracted to brave and courageous men.

But, Birth control pills might have an affect on the above. It is possible that many women who take birth control pills might find less masculine men, more attractive.

 

Bhul chuk maaf

 

[paapiman]

2 minutes ago, dalsingh101 said:

Sometimes a bloke is stuck inbetween a battle between his moms and his wife. 

The above is one of the worst situations for a man. Stuck between mum and wife. Waheguru.

 

Bhul chuk maaf

[dalsingh101]

14 minutes ago, paapiman said:

Maybe in terms of opposite effect (your point makes sense too), Daas was thinking the following. If you don't pay much attention to them, but on the other hand, you are also very helpful to them (when they need help), give them occasional compliments and you are very manly, they (a lot of them) might actually end up being more attracted to you.

What do you say bro?

Yeah, I think one of the most unattractive things to a women is a pukkah koota, someone desperate to be with them. I think some like challenges and can sense desperation in a bloke. A lot of females are VERY competitive between themselves and the bloke is seen as some social enhancement tool as well. Some men think are like that too (trophy wife hunters). Getting a bloke who is just desperate to be with a broad, is usually a no no for females. Those relationships rarely last. A guy has to value himself regardless of the female, females sense that and are attracted to it to mad degrees. That's why so many fall for narcissistic/sociopathic types.

Some women are really clever (especially in offices!) at using their guiles, looks and charms to get blokes to do stuff for them. They might act all innocent but they know that blokes are putting a nice guy act around them and being helpful on the chance that they can somehow have sex with them at some stage. lol  

[dalsingh101]

18 minutes ago, paapiman said:

The above is one of the worst situations for a man. Stuck between mum and wife. Waheguru.

I think this can only get worse and worse if the bloke doesn't man up. 

I believe their is a thing called 'queen bee' syndrome, where an older female is a matriarch in a house, and then suddenly a younger attractive nau comes in and it sets of a violently competitive streak for a retention of the previous status. And control over the son. Next thing you know the women are growling at each other through clenched teeth like animals....lol!!!!

Desi Panjabi women are really bad like this. 

 

Plus, in the grand scheme of things - there are A LOT WORSE situations a bloke can find themselves in. 

[dalsingh101]

 

[GurjantGnostic]

6 hours ago, dalsingh101 said:

I think this can only get worse and worse if the bloke doesn't man up. 

I believe their is a thing called 'queen bee' syndrome, where an older female is a matriarch in a house, and then suddenly a younger attractive nau comes in and it sets of a violently competitive streak for a retention of the previous status. And control over the son. Next thing you know the women are growling at each other through clenched teeth like animals....lol!!!!

Desi Panjabi women are really bad like this. 

 

Plus, in the grand scheme of things - there are A LOT WORSE situations a bloke can find themselves in. 

Happens every time lol. Which is why man should be loyal to his Guru. 

[sevak]

 

 

[GurjantGnostic]

On 8/21/2021 at 3:11 PM, dalsingh101 said:

 

Hah. I cant double laugh this so. Here's the double reaction.

That's what he gets anyway. Lol. 

[Samarbir Singh]

On 8/9/2021 at 2:39 AM, paapiman said:

Could that be due to sexual repression of young ladies in our community?

What do you think is the solution for it? Don't you think one should be a bit older when they go to uni? Like 19 plus, at least?

 

Bhul chuk maaf

WJKK WJKF

So all of my fellow Sikhs. Would you allow, let’s say hypothetically your a male Sikh with a traditional mindset, would you allow your daughter to date and have causal sex with other people, of course not right! It’s not only a traditional Punjabi mindset but this mindset also comes from a religious standpoint. And don’t get me wrong sex isn’t looked down upon if done with your wife or husband but hooking up with different people for pleasure is not allowed by the gurus. So it’s many things that build this mindset. But I myself sometimes think to myself when I do have kids I cannot force them, but can try your best to show the right path, and kids take it to heart because we tell just tell them no! But we need to tell them through a religious point and why it’s wrong. I had to realize that someone cannot force Sikhi onto you, you have to experience and learn about it through your own curiosity. So this my thinking gursikho!

Bhul Chuk Maaf

[Samarbir Singh]

WJKK WJKF

But I also believe bad sangat is also a big part especially the youthful sangat tend to talk about girls and things of this nature from my experience and I think it’s because it is something do with that they have recently discovered these things and our curious but curiosity isn’t necessarily always good thing because this curiosity will make go down the wrong path.

Bhul Chuk Maaf