Jump to content

Practical Ways Of Avoiding Lust


Recommended Posts

For me it's easy.... I just don't think about it. Here's how I look at everything, and I know you won't like it because you seem to focus so much on gender and trying to prove that males are better / superior etc.

But when I look at any human being, I look PAST their gender. I don't even allow the thought that they are somehow different than I am enter my mind. I instead resolve to see only the 'divya jot' within them. Since I have resolved to only see this, I actually and truly see light emenating from everyone (not just in my mind... I actually see their auras). And that light is identical in everyone. Thinking and viewing things from that perspective it's impossible to lower myself to base carnal desires. I am more interested in the good in someone as a brother or sister (and that is even a bad comparion because to me there is no 'brother' or 'sister' just 'sibling', how we can work together to better humankind, provide charity, etc. Even though I work surrounded by nearly all males, in a submarine for extended periods of time in that small space where even personal privacy is limited, I see ALL of us as a team... all identical (well everyone have different skill sets but you know what I mean, we are all team members on the same team). When I interact with supervisors, subordinates, etc I don't even think of them as male and me female. I think of us all as simply sailors.

The only exception to this I will allow is my own husband. And in that case, I still see that jot. Our pairing is not a physical one. I do not even think of our union as a physical one, but instead one that is happening at purely the spiritual level as we are two halves of the same one soul. In fact even the fact that we met at all, seemed impossible unless Waheguru Ji had intervened. So even when I speak to him, I do not even have the thoughts enter my mind that he is male and I am female... I have simply learned to not define people in this way. I instead think of us as two identical halves of one pure light. My whole view of the world has changed to this view... it's liek I now am seeing the level above the physical in all things and in everyone. Back to the two halves of one light...My Husband and I think and act almost identically. We can almost finish each other's sentences. So of course we want to be close in the physical sense, but we don't want to be close to satisfy some carnal sexual urge, but instead to merge our light... to show care, to show mutual respect and same goals, to support each other in our spiritual journey together as one. That is what marriage is actually about. I could care less if we actually were intimate as that's such a small thing.

So paapiman... you seem to be so obbsessed with lust. And so obsessed with differentiating women and men, and trying to declare males as superior and females as weak and inferior. Maybe if you actually started to see all humans for what we truly are...and resolve to see ONLY that divine light in everyone and basically tell your eyes to not even see the physical shells or judge people based on their physical genders, then maybe you could actually start to learn to control your lust.

But then.... you'd have to leave this men are better than women attitude behind...

Edited by Satkirin_Kaur
Link to post
Share on other sites

Here are some tips i can share, these are tips i compiled after listening to various katha's by various mahapursh:

-- ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Only after bhramgyan one can totally negate mind before that we are all affected by mind/thoughts which is made out of rajo, sato and tomo.

However, we can minimize bad thoughts in our mind...Here are some of the tips which may help you:

1. Divide your mind in two. One has dya, dharam, sat, santokh, gyan and other one effected by kaam, krodh, lob, moh, ahankar..whenever bad thoughts come in/5 vices, let your other portion of mind of good attributes dya, dharam sat, santokh, gyan to take control of your other portion of mind effected by five vices. Control kaam with gyan, if you are getting kaam thoughts, instead of looking at his/her body or act, look at the light behind him/her and look at the body with the reality how its made of five elements which will be reduced to dust one day or another.

2. Listen to gurbani, memorize some of gurbani tuks which talks about kaam, take sahara of guru maharaj to remove the thoughts of kaam.

3. Do self inquiry, always question whenever bad thoughts effected by 5 vices comes in, ask to whom is it for? is it for my body or mind/egoistic mind and do self inquiry right away -my real self is beyond body and mind so its not for me as my real soul does not have even have mind made out of rajo, tamo and sato let alone bad thoughts.

4. Dont pay attention to bad thoughts, let them come in- don't enforce anything, perceive everything comes from the light and start seeing light behind everything, you will notice after a while bad thoughts like waves will go away by itself. For eg- water just like waves in pot always moves in open sun light .Hence we cannot see sun light reflection from sun but once we ignore waves and focus on light behind it, after a while you will notice only light in the pot nothing else will move your perception.

5. Keeping doing ardas to guru maharaj and these thoughts effected by 5 vices are not for me, please make them go away.

6. Make your mind busy with other good things, never let mind sit bored to let your thoughts accumlated in your sub consciousness mind attack you.

7. Don't suppress the thoughts neither let them go loosely, sit in resonance of vahiguroo/ikongkar mantra visualize as if everything is folding itself back in ikongkar...these thoughts are being destroyed and everything merging/folding itself all in all in ONE- IkONGKar and thats the source of everything so focus on Ik0ngkar.

8. As soon as bad thoughts came in, visualize yourself as light, above ground where you can see earth liquaditing or disapearing itself into multi universe...where are bad thoughts? no where, just beautiful view of Vahiguroo's creation.

9. Always have gurbani on headphones or speakers..don't just listen but also imagine each akhar into real story for eg Bisar gayi sab tat paraie or among others ..visualize it or think about this stage which gurbani talks about.

10. Keep your socializing to very minimal whether it be regular joe blow freinds, t.v, ads, movies if you are begineer. It will easily sway you away from your real purpose of being sikh....always keep doing sangat of elder gursikhs or mahapursh to clear further doubts or sansas.

11. Finally, cheer up life aint bad..present is very actual moment of all moments- neither past or future..what matters what you do now in present neither past or future.

Link to post
Share on other sites


Negative thoughts can be removed- if you don't give up and with perseverance combat them by not identifying with them. Start off with ardas to Guru maharaj ji to bless you with will power and perseverance, because without grace of vahiguru/satguru's kirpa not even one leaf can move on the tree.

Everyone(even sinners of highest calibre) is born with pure portion of mind ( source of mind which is right at the starting edge of mind) which we sikhs call it surat/bibek/brahmakar unconditioned birthi- intuitive unconditioned consciousness/pure cognitive perception. So divide your mind into two-

-diseased mind which is affected by five vices, depression, stress, anxiety, emotional negative suicidal thoughts
-pure portion of mind-intuitive unconditioned consciousness/pure cognitive perception mind

What we often do is we try to combat diseased conditioned mind with diseased conditioned mind which may only provided band aids fixes but it does not look at the root, that's why many psychologist fail to address the root cause, they provide solution to fix one problem but inadvertently create other problems as well-such as more conditioning, dependency on medication etc.

So With pure portion of mind start a first phase journey which is simply witnessing the thoughts come in, let whatever thoughts (no matter how hideous) come in and whatever thought go -go..don't judge or analyze the thoughts, just simple witness as pure witness, it will take some practice so to make it easier..here are some analogies it help further or visualize:

-Witness the thoughts visualize-thoughts being clouds-appearing/disappearing on its own accord , it does not matter to you because you are the sky which has pure vantage view (pure unconditioned intuitive cognitive consciousness-achal thoughtless surat) in which thoughts come in and out as clouds, you have pure vantage to witness your thoughts not matter how big and scary clouds are, it cannot touch you as you can always see them below, they are below you.

- Imagine you are in the middle of road- each thought is car trying to hit you, drag you with it. Imagine how painful it is being hit by each car (thought) which is dragging you all the way, what you do ? do you fight with a speedy car coming at you? No..you simply get on a side of road, move away and witness the thoughts(in form of car) travelling in and out of road-your view and ultimately ignore them by abiding in your consciousness(surat)...after a while car-lethal weapon (thoughts) will loose its influence on you as you will start witnessing them and not getting hit by them and eventually you will also transcendent witness stage as well in straight in abidance in already available inner state we all have already in our pure universal portion of mind which is achal moraat (pure motionless stillness-afor-thoughtless awareness) universal being at the point Guru's kirpa will unfold itself and guide you further.

Anyway, your main focus should be to disidentify with your negative thoughts, but since you are at it, you might as well try to understand thoughts structure how transient they are and illusory they are, disidentify with them all together with pure universal portion of mind (pure unconditioned intuitive cognitive consciousness), and don't worry about right actions and rights speech, trying to figure how to do naam jaap since everything comes from there, this unconditioned pure intuitive cognitive consciousness will guide you further how to do naam jaap, gurbani patt, right speech, right actions very naturally and spontaneously.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 9 months later...

Some more tips (from another topic):

  • Diet control - Avoid spicy food, Garlic, eating from outside, etc.
  • Before you go to sleep, recite Sri Kirtan Sohela Sahib jee 5 times, instead of one. Do jaap of Rakheya day shabad. This won't take much time
  • Keep playing Gurbani on an audio player, while you are asleep
  • When you wake up, immediately start doing jaap of Mool Mantar or any Shabad you like. Keep the mala/counter nearby.
  • Engage in physical workout, when sexual thoughts attack
  • Wash your hands, feet and face with cold water, when sexual thoughts attack
  • Start listening to Katha and Kirtan, when sexual thoughts attack. For most people, one can concentrate in them, better than Naam Simran/Nitnem.
  • Start playing a game or watching a documentary or engage in any other activity, which can assist you in diverting your mind from sexual thoughts

 

Bhul chuk maaf

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 2 months later...

@BhagatSingh - Bro, can you please expand on the comment (below), which you had made.

Thanks a lot.

Quote

Lol if you feel lust, it is because you are a javan mard.

We are supposed to feel lust.

I would recommend to other javan mards that they should try to experience lust as a pure feeling and experience to be had in and of itself, rather than as a means to an end. No matter how happy that end.

Unquote

 

Bhul chuk maaf

Link to post
Share on other sites

I think what it means is  that feel horny but do not get scared from it & jerk off ( happy ending).  He is saying embrace it as a part of yourself & dont be nervous from it. Just dont let it out, conserve your shakti. Eventually you will see the shakti inside you will transform from lust to something beautiful if you stop lrtting off.  often we get nervous scared and that adds to anxiety, guilt further weakening the self will.

Embrace shakti because we are javan mards lol. Also it means we are healthy for now.  for eg tumenescence in morning is a good sign of reproductive health if you are javan.

The feeling of boredom & horniness are very uncomfortable feelings. We often tend to get rid of them via certain means. If we stay with them & let them run out on their own , next time it comes , you will be more comfortable & your will be a little bit stronger than previous.

Guru Arjan Dev Ji gives a very useful tip . He says delay paap. So if you keep on delaying the means to get rid of feelin eventually the feeling will go away & next time it will be in a milder form.

So next time you feel horny dont give the fuel or food to eyes & stay with the feeling as long as you can. And when you wake up in next morning you will be little bit happier.

The mind will keep tricking you in different manners but be alert.

Link to post
Share on other sites
On 5/6/2016 at 10:40 AM, Rock said:

I think what it means is  that feel horny but do not get scared from it & jerk off ( happy ending).  He is saying embrace it as a part of yourself & dont be nervous from it. Just dont let it out, conserve your shakti. Eventually you will see the shakti inside you will transform from lust to something beautiful if you stop lrtting off.  often we get nervous scared and that adds to anxiety, guilt further weakening the self will.

Embrace shakti because we are javan mards lol. Also it means we are healthy for now.  for eg tumenescence in morning is a good sign of reproductive health if you are javan.

The feeling of boredom & horniness are very uncomfortable feelings. We often tend to get rid of them via certain means. If we stay with them & let them run out on their own , next time it comes , you will be more comfortable & your will be a little bit stronger than previous.

Guru Arjan Dev Ji gives a very useful tip . He says delay paap. So if you keep on delaying the means to get rid of feelin eventually the feeling will go away & next time it will be in a milder form.

So next time you feel horny dont give the fuel or food to eyes & stay with the feeling as long as you can. And when you wake up in next morning you will be little bit happier.

The mind will keep tricking you in different manners but be alert.

Thanks for the input bro. 

 

Bhul chuk maaf

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 1 year later...

In the katha below, Gyani jee gives a suggestion which can help us to fight lust. Lord Indar (king of heavens), who enjoys the company of many heavenly beauties (who are btw way more beautiful/hygienic/clean that worldly women), is compared with a pig. Some fodder to convert our Vikari Budhi to Bibek Budhi.

Please start listening after 07:25 min:

http://www.gurmatveechar.com/audios/Katha/02_Present_Day_Katha/Sant_Giani_Inderjeet_Singh_(Raqbe_wale)/Sri_Gurpartap_Sooraj_Parkash_Katha/05_Sri_Guru_Arjan_Dev_Ji/Giani.Inderjeet.Singh.(Raqbe.wale)--Sooraj.Parkash.Katha.-.Ras.03.Adhyai.45.-.Satta.Balwand.Bakhshe.-.1994-11-12.mp3

 

Bhul chuk maaf

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 2 weeks later...
On 3/6/2016 at 12:09 AM, paapiman said:

Some more tips (from another topic):

  • Diet control - Avoid spicy food, Garlic, eating from outside, etc.

 

The below might help too.

  • Avoid caffeinated drinks as much as possible. Caffeine affects sleeping patterns, which gives Lust an opportunity to attack. When a person is fully awake, then it is much easier to fight with Lust (and other vikars), as compared to when he is in a semi-awake condition (NREM sleeping stage).
  • Maintain healthy eating habits, so that you avoid having any episodes of diarrhea or constipation. Lust can possibly attack the mind in these conditions too.

 

Bhul chuk maaf

Link to post
Share on other sites

@Lucky

veerji ,  I am newly married. What do you suggest is moderation in such matters?  And how should one proceed when in Grihast Marag ? you can pm me if you want

Great to read your posts @HisServant @Lucky after such a long time . Where did you guys disappear lol

 

 

 

 

Link to post
Share on other sites

@Ragmaala 

Congratulations and well done, wishing  you both all the heavenly and divine blessings.

 

4 hours ago, Ragmaala said:

What do you suggest is moderation in such matters?  And how should one proceed when in Grihast Marag ?

That's a tricky question but it does depend on your attitude and approach in such matters. I sense that your notion would be quite sensible , therefore it's wise to take these matters at a steady pace and let hukam lead the way. 

 I'd say that it'a priority for both of you to understand the significance of anand karaj.   Anand karaj is about  marriage of the mind to the shabad(waheguru). The sacred ceremony asserts the unity and bond formed between your Two jyots (husband and wife) AND taking the pledge to pursue the journey in merging your Jyots with Waheguru Jyot.   The meanings of anand karaj become deeper over time and that's the beauty of gurbani, (our guru)

Having this understanding should help attain a mindset and attitude that can support the build up and strengthening of eternal and divine bonds between the two of you. These may already be there, but the sensible attitude will help flourish them naturally,  i.e. the "Karaj" will grow stronger and the "anand" shall prosper further.    As i said in the post above, 'kaam' is about the indries and shouldn't really be in the equation.. It's about the hirdas trying to merge in each other's jyot that lead to acts of intimacy. This is the true jyog and bhog, not the kaam desires of senses. 

 

I recommend practicing simran or quiet jap from the hirda area. This is not directly where physical heart is but it's, a little across to the center of chest area.  As a medic, you will be aware that the heart area has so much dynamic activity which is continuously occurring with hukam.  It's amazing with all the different chemical actions, contractions, electrical and magnetic charges that play. The heart's electromagnetic field is about 60 times greater than the brain(ECG to EEG), which is why it is imperative that you do jap in that area as it will have a greater chance or energizing your pineal gland area and the empty small cave above it (sehaj guffa).  You wanna practice jap on hirda and when it's occurring with pace and you feeling energy, you wanna direct it upwards.  You can feel the electromagnetic power from other's heart from a few feet away, especially if it's pumping unconditional energies of love and truth. (try it!)

 

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 5 months later...

A few points that worked for me when I was younger:

  • burn up all your body’s energy. don’t go to bed with lots of energy left in your body. workout, work, do whatever you need, but this excess energy might bother you if you go to bed with too much in your body.
  • Stay busy in simran, sangat, seva, learning, work, studying whatever. just stay busy. 
  • socializing with sangat who are clean is helpful. You’ll know if they are clean b/c you can feel their energy, or at the very least notice if you get increase of wrong thoughts around them
  • working towards a large goal really helps to channel your focus and discipline (as noted above). 
  • avoid eating overly sweet or salty or spicy foods. This is especially important in the late afternoon. Avoid all achar from late afternoon onwards. The increased acidity from these foods irritates the sensitive nerves in the genitals, causing the surti to be pulled down. If the surti is just down there, that’s not such a big deal, but most of us will then start to get kaam thoughts b/c we lack discipline.
  • don’t eat too much, only eat as much as the body needs. 
  • don’t eat from the hands of a vikaari person, their negative energy will mess with the food you eat. 

 

Bhagti things that help:

  • continual simran, it might be easier if you plant your surti in one of the chakras, as it helps anchor it up high. the key is to prevent it from going to the lower chakra. going low isn’t bad, but just makes it more likely to have kaam thoughts b/c of their association with this area. 
  • imagine the star on Guru Nanak Sahib ji’s holy charan placed at this chakra, it will help raise your surti. 
  • to always have a recording of simran or bani playing helps. When one ear gets tired, switch the mp3 players headphone to the other ear. I used to do this even when watching tv or sleeping. 

 

 

What do you suggest is moderation in such matters?  And how should one proceed when in Grihast Marag ?

 

There is a sakhi in which Baba Nand Singh ji advises once per week as maximum. 

If your partner is amenable it may help to sleep on opposite sides of the bed. Keep in mind that in grihast marg, especially with western partners, we have to be really careful of the other person's feelings. Most Sikhs nowdays are not willing to make sacrifices to advance, and to put forward the idea of making sacrifices in the bedroom is something that goes against most people's understandings, and might hurt their feelings. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 2 years later...

I really liked the suggestions and views shared.

But my problem is really different.

At a very young age I was also stuck by kaam and lust , being so immature I was not aware what Im doing ...

At a certain age I realised that its kaam and  Im stuck in it.... Then I decided to get out of of this , I took the spiritual path started doing yoga and meditation and came out of it.

But my issue became complicated... When Im awake I control my self but in sleep I get regular nightfalls... And that is out of control... I became week due to that and feel constant guilt that reminds me of my Past bad habits of kaam.Dont know what to do.Cant control what happens to me in dreams 

 

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 1 month later...

 

Great useful tips by all the members posters above.

And sharing my 2 cents on this topic, I would say the start to fight lust has to do with awareness.

Then also though all methods are to keep lust at some distant line, the reality is, only when we give the mind a better and higher taste, (for the mind is a constant runner after pleasures and tastes), like engaging in His bhakti and tasting the Amrit of Nam within, then only will it stop hankering after  kaamee desires and its fulfillment.... 

His holy Name, will not only remove the kaam from its roots, but as well free us from all other vikars.

His Name, is the not only antidote for all our maladies, but also  the only link also which truly reunites us with  Him, the most immaculate and purest,  Waheguru Akal Purukh.

SSA.

 

 

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
×
×
  • Create New...