Jump to content

How God Changed My Life


Recommended Posts

Guest Anonymous

I've recently gone through a transformational experience that changed my life and I felt like sharing it to you.

As a general background I'm a 19 years old male and i've grown up in a very religious household my whole life. I would say i've been fairly conscience about sikhism my, trying my best to follow the religion but obviously making mistakes and learning from them along the way. Through waheguru i've experienced many different blessings and transitional milestones but none that could compare to this.

Over the last 3 months i felt like i was losing myself, whenever i meditated my prayers wouldn't connect, i wasn't able to focus and my mind was full of sin. I was going through a mental drought, i wasn't doing well in school and something i felt off everyday i woke up. I was spinning out of control of sanity. I started giving into to the five vices more than ever before, Kaam (lust), Krodth (anger), Lobh (greed), Moh (attachment) and Ahankaar (ego). I didn't know at the time, but Kaam and Ahankaar had me under control in its hands . While in its hands i started committing the horrible sin of my life, sleeping with women before marriage. The worst part about it was i not satisfied regardless of who i was with and i kept wanting more, there was something empty in me. My soul needed god but my ego wanted sin and i was controlled by my ego. I would never think much of the negligent sins i was committing and the possible consequences that could have resulted from them. That was until god sent me a reality check.

After committing the sin for the fourth time i left home at night disappointed. Disappointed that i wasn't happy in life and thinking "why can't i be happy. what's going on with me, i don't even recognize myself when i look in the mirror."  The next morning the reality check hit me when i woke up and saw my phone with the message from the girl saying that she might be pregnant.My heart dropped like it'd never had before. I was panicking, breathing heavy, becoming aware of what i've done and waking up to reality. I started getting anxiety messaging her. After speaking with her she told me that if she happened to be pregnant she would keep it and i had no say in that. She regretted every part of it and so did I. 

That was the moment that changed my life. For the next 4 days i prayed like i've never prayed before. Confessing my sins to god, asking for forgiveness, crying all day and night talking to him. My mind was in a constant state of demolition, i felt myself losing my mind multiple times begging to God to not let this happen. I cant even count the amount of times i broke down hoping my family didn't find out. I was literally going insane. But something good was happening throughout this process, I was begging god to show me that everything would be alright because i wasn't ready to be a father this young, and when i did he'd show me a sign. It  would feel so good and reassuring but i still had doubt after a couple minutes and would ask for another sign. He would occasionally give them while i was going through my multiple states of distress. 

I started bargaining to God pleading to give up my sinful ways if he could fix the mistakes i made. I was in a mind state where i saw everything as a sign as a from of god communicating to me. That was until i started listening to prayers on youtube where i was crying and listening and the saint said something along the lines of "you have nothing to offer to god which he does not have, he gave you everything, you aren't even equivalent to an ant in this universe compared to him. All we can do is get in Gods Charna (feet, i believe) and ask for forgiveness." Thats when i broke down, it felt like he was speaking right to me. I quickly got on the floor with tears rushing down my face pressing my head against the floor and did ardas. Speaking from my heart of how sorry i was and begging him to fix my life because I'm just a hopeless pathetic sinner. This was an ongoing process for four days.

On the fifth day for the first time in my life I went to the gurdurwara and did Seva. I did this because i have heard in the past that seva helps to erase your sins and clear your karma. on the first day I went and prayed while i was doing it. After i completed an hour of it, i went to go listen to the kirtan. I prayed non-stop begging god to answer my prayers and asking for forgiveness, i had nothing to offer him to win over his heart. Before i was about to leave, i picked up my phone and i saw a message by the girl saying it was her time of the month and i could stop worrying because she wasn't pregnant. At this very moment tears filled my eyes, my heart filled with gratitude and my soul felt the presence of god overcome me. I was so happy i couldn't explain it. The fact that God actually answered my prayers. I couldn't help myself but to put my head down hiding my face in my jacket as i cried with Joy. I just wanted to  yell waheguru to the heavens. At that moment i prayed to God to always keep his hand on my head on control me to be a vessel of his expression.

God single handedly saved my life, I don't know what i would do without him and waheguru is the only word that comes to my mind when i think of him. Now that it's been a couple of weeks, i still find myself crying sometimes with tears of joy with no words to express my gratitude. i repeatedly keep saying waheguru and thank you but it still doesn't feel enough. I want to appreciate him so much but i can't  because he's done so much. I pray everyday that he continues to hold my arm and never let me slip again like that again. I've come to terms that i am nothing in this universe. Thinking of my past sinful ways disgusts me. I feel like God gave me a second chance at life. 

All i can say that if God can save a papi (sinner) like me, why wouldn't he save you. If we give up our ego and surrender to God, just watch the blessings that he'll send our way. The darkest times, called for the deepest cries and the most passionate prayers. In the darkness is where i found God, he revealed himself to me. He kept me together when i was falling apart. He showed my the light. This is the moment i'll never forget for the rest of my life. This my new life, a life worth living because overall, I was drowning, drowning in my sins but somehow dying of thirst, a thirst for God. 

 

Waheguru

Link to post
Share on other sites
40 minutes ago, Guest Anonymous said:

I've recently gone through a transformational experience that changed my life and I felt like sharing it to you.

As a general background I'm a 19 years old male and i've grown up in a very religious household my whole life. I would say i've been fairly conscience about sikhism my, trying my best to follow the religion but obviously making mistakes and learning from them along the way. Through waheguru i've experienced many different blessings and transitional milestones but none that could compare to this.

Over the last 3 months i felt like i was losing myself, whenever i meditated my prayers wouldn't connect, i wasn't able to focus and my mind was full of sin. I was going through a mental drought, i wasn't doing well in school and something i felt off everyday i woke up. I was spinning out of control of sanity. I started giving into to the five vices more than ever before, Kaam (lust), Krodth (anger), Lobh (greed), Moh (attachment) and Ahankaar (ego). I didn't know at the time, but Kaam and Ahankaar had me under control in its hands . While in its hands i started committing the horrible sin of my life, sleeping with women before marriage. The worst part about it was i not satisfied regardless of who i was with and i kept wanting more, there was something empty in me. My soul needed god but my ego wanted sin and i was controlled by my ego. I would never think much of the negligent sins i was committing and the possible consequences that could have resulted from them. That was until god sent me a reality check.

After committing the sin for the fourth time i left home at night disappointed. Disappointed that i wasn't happy in life and thinking "why can't i be happy. what's going on with me, i don't even recognize myself when i look in the mirror."  The next morning the reality check hit me when i woke up and saw my phone with the message from the girl saying that she might be pregnant.My heart dropped like it'd never had before. I was panicking, breathing heavy, becoming aware of what i've done and waking up to reality. I started getting anxiety messaging her. After speaking with her she told me that if she happened to be pregnant she would keep it and i had no say in that. She regretted every part of it and so did I. 

That was the moment that changed my life. For the next 4 days i prayed like i've never prayed before. Confessing my sins to god, asking for forgiveness, crying all day and night talking to him. My mind was in a constant state of demolition, i felt myself losing my mind multiple times begging to God to not let this happen. I cant even count the amount of times i broke down hoping my family didn't find out. I was literally going insane. But something good was happening throughout this process, I was begging god to show me that everything would be alright because i wasn't ready to be a father this young, and when i did he'd show me a sign. It  would feel so good and reassuring but i still had doubt after a couple minutes and would ask for another sign. He would occasionally give them while i was going through my multiple states of distress. 

I started bargaining to God pleading to give up my sinful ways if he could fix the mistakes i made. I was in a mind state where i saw everything as a sign as a from of god communicating to me. That was until i started listening to prayers on youtube where i was crying and listening and the saint said something along the lines of "you have nothing to offer to god which he does not have, he gave you everything, you aren't even equivalent to an ant in this universe compared to him. All we can do is get in Gods Charna (feet, i believe) and ask for forgiveness." Thats when i broke down, it felt like he was speaking right to me. I quickly got on the floor with tears rushing down my face pressing my head against the floor and did ardas. Speaking from my heart of how sorry i was and begging him to fix my life because I'm just a hopeless pathetic sinner. This was an ongoing process for four days.

On the fifth day for the first time in my life I went to the gurdurwara and did Seva. I did this because i have heard in the past that seva helps to erase your sins and clear your karma. on the first day I went and prayed while i was doing it. After i completed an hour of it, i went to go listen to the kirtan. I prayed non-stop begging god to answer my prayers and asking for forgiveness, i had nothing to offer him to win over his heart. Before i was about to leave, i picked up my phone and i saw a message by the girl saying it was her time of the month and i could stop worrying because she wasn't pregnant. At this very moment tears filled my eyes, my heart filled with gratitude and my soul felt the presence of god overcome me. I was so happy i couldn't explain it. The fact that God actually answered my prayers. I couldn't help myself but to put my head down hiding my face in my jacket as i cried with Joy. I just wanted to  yell waheguru to the heavens. At that moment i prayed to God to always keep his hand on my head on control me to be a vessel of his expression.

God single handedly saved my life, I don't know what i would do without him and waheguru is the only word that comes to my mind when i think of him. Now that it's been a couple of weeks, i still find myself crying sometimes with tears of joy with no words to express my gratitude. i repeatedly keep saying waheguru and thank you but it still doesn't feel enough. I want to appreciate him so much but i can't  because he's done so much. I pray everyday that he continues to hold my arm and never let me slip again like that again. I've come to terms that i am nothing in this universe. Thinking of my past sinful ways disgusts me. I feel like God gave me a second chance at life. 

All i can say that if God can save a papi (sinner) like me, why wouldn't he save you. If we give up our ego and surrender to God, just watch the blessings that he'll send our way. The darkest times, called for the deepest cries and the most passionate prayers. In the darkness is where i found God, he revealed himself to me. He kept me together when i was falling apart. He showed my the light. This is the moment i'll never forget for the rest of my life. This my new life, a life worth living because overall, I was drowning, drowning in my sins but somehow dying of thirst, a thirst for God. 

 

Waheguru

Waheguru amazing how Guru Sahib Ji saved and how you changed your life best thing i have read today. Seva and simran if done without ego has it fruits which you have proven

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
×
×
  • Create New...