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US Student needs help


USstudent
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WJKK WJKF ji,

I'm an international student in US who used to be a really good student in Science. I came here to study strong fields of Computer Science which required to sell all property we had in India and also take debt. My parents only saw my dreams and sold all the property.

After coming in the US, (I got into a few prestigious universities like UWaterloo) but chose an affordable one. The university is really for-money only and no education was found. I felt like cheated but couldn't do anything. I had no idea which University I should transfer to. I felt confused.

I accepted it as Maharaj's Bhaana and attended this college. It's going to be almost an year. Really bad things happened with me

I asked so many professors that I'm doing a research in making a device for blind people and various other interests I shared. All of them heavily discouraged me all the time. In classes, I was pointed out all the time. The professors wanted me to praise them for some reason, I felt like.

All my internal peace and confident got murdered. This semester, I went through a financial hardships. I am only eating once in 2 days since the last 3 months.

I've been trying really really hard to stay alright. But the professors killed all my confidence and self esteem. I have exams coming up and I'm so low I couldn't even study. Everything is failing. I have no idea what to do. I got a job but the Starbucks manager asked me to cut my beard which is hard although I used to trim it before. Everytime I try, the financial issue always comes up. I felt like I couldn't tie turban. I'm so poor after paying thousands of dollars in international & out-of-state tuition.

I really wanted to ask my veer and bhenjis to please suggest me something. I'm really going through tough time. I've been in a situation where a large part of my funding is taken while returned nothing in education.

I've been murdered internally. Please help.

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33 minutes ago, USstudent said:

After coming in the US, (I got into a few prestigious universities like UWaterloo) but chose an affordable one. The university is really for-money only and no education was found. I felt like cheated but couldn't do anything. I had no idea which University I should transfer to. I felt confused.

UWaterloo is in Ontario (Canada), not in the US.

Which college do you go to? Are you in the US or Canada?

 

Bhul chuk maaf

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On 5/10/2018 at 8:33 AM, USstudent said:

WJKK WJKF ji,

I'm an international student in US who used to be a really good student in Science. I came here to study strong fields of Computer Science which required to sell all property we had in India and also take debt. My parents only saw my dreams and sold all the property.

After coming in the US, (I got into a few prestigious universities like UWaterloo) but chose an affordable one. The university is really for-money only and no education was found. I felt like cheated but couldn't do anything. I had no idea which University I should transfer to. I felt confused.

I accepted it as Maharaj's Bhaana and attended this college. It's going to be almost an year. Really bad things happened with me

I asked so many professors that I'm doing a research in making a device for blind people and various other interests I shared. All of them heavily discouraged me all the time. In classes, I was pointed out all the time. The professors wanted me to praise them for some reason, I felt like.

All my internal peace and confident got murdered. This semester, I went through a financial hardships. I am only eating once in 2 days since the last 3 months.

I've been trying really really hard to stay alright. But the professors killed all my confidence and self esteem. I have exams coming up and I'm so low I couldn't even study. Everything is failing. I have no idea what to do. I got a job but the Starbucks manager asked me to cut my beard which is hard although I used to trim it before. Everytime I try, the financial issue always comes up. I felt like I couldn't tie turban. I'm so poor after paying thousands of dollars in international & out-of-state tuition.

I really wanted to ask my veer and bhenjis to please suggest me something. I'm really going through tough time. I've been in a situation where a large part of my funding is taken while returned nothing in education.

I've been murdered internally. Please help.

Organisational cultures that try to isolate and demoralise people who start out in them are more common than our people like to admit. I've seen it happening in big, 'top ten' corporate companies in London, the education sector as well as in manual construction trades (it's probably everywhere). I met an British-African guy in London who was accepted in Cambridge to study Astro-physics at MSc (might have been Phd, can't remember), and he was warned at the get go, by an asian advisor he had, that he will encounter discrimination. His subsequent experiences (which sound similar to yours) made him leave. Again such things aren't uncommon. I think a lot of apnay have an idealised perception of outside institutes, and when we first get accepted into them we innocently expect the best and believe that we will get treatment based on our abilities. However this innocence gets steadily (and increasingly) violated and it is easy to end up demoralised and confused as a consequence. 

So what can you do if you find yourself in such circumstances?

The top priority is to psychologically and physically build yourself back up - two practical things can help. First is meditation and spirituality (not simplistically jumping into fundamentalism), this will help to combat anxiety and give you the energy to engage with the world again when the time is right for you. The second thing is physical activity (i.e. training), this will help reduce stress and help to physically rebuild you. Usually when we get hit like you sound you have, the experience makes us lose our appetite and drains us of our energy which sort of digs us deeper into gloom. You have to take concrete, practical steps to change the direction you've been pushed in. 

I think the things you described are actually built into western organisational culture (and maybe other business cultures as well?). You shouldn't blame yourself for what has happened. Recognise that the whole set up was designed to demoralise you and zap you of energy. It was designed to attack your sense of self (your confidence). People might be able to help by kicking you along the path out of this but ultimately you yourself are the only one who will and can build yourself back up - no one can do this for you. 

Take small but consistent steps in the right direction, do this and eventually you'll find yourself in a new place. 

Another thing I have to add is that too many people from India (especially Panjab) fall for this utopian vision of life abroad - only to encounter a very different experience once they get out and interact with this world. This message needs to get out so more people don't fall into false expectations. 

I think dasam bani especially Jaap Sahib and Akal Ustat can help. But don't read them like a parrot, try and and analyse the contents (use teekas if you need). 

I don't know if this will help you, but all the best - fight to keep your head up. 

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