Kaur. S Posted March 20, 2020 Report Share Posted March 20, 2020 Hi all, I need some help with extreme feelings of guilt and regret. Basically, I’m a 17 year old girl who sinned and lied a lot in my childhood. From the ages of 8-13, I would talk behind my friends back with others and then I woild go to my friend and tell them everything the other person said about them while acting like I never said anything even when I did. I betrayed the trust of many of my friends and hurt them. I feel so guilty now and I honestly feel so bad for how I’ve hurt others. For example, when I was a 12 year old in grade 7, I had a friend who I’ll call B for now, and basically B and I talked behind another girls back, I’ll call that girl N. I was friends with N but I guess I was angry at her so I gossiped with B. I then went to N and I told her what B said about her, all while acting like I said nothing. I lied and made it seem like B was a terrible person who talked about N and I made it seem like I was completely innocent. I even deleted some of the messages where I talked about N with B and showed N so it looked like i was a good innocent friend while B was a bad friend. I lied to B and told her that I told N that both of us talked behind her back. I lied many times and manipulate my friends. I feel so bad. At the time I didn’t even know how bad what I was doing was. I’m 17 years old now and I feel disgusting. I feel like the worst human being ever. At such a young age, I manipulated my friends, betrayed their trust, hurt them, and lied all the time. All while I thought I was innocent. I have apologized to those friends and they have kindly forgiven me. I feel like I deserve no forgiveness because I’m disgusting for my past manipulative actions. For the past three years, I think I have been a good person and have avoided gossiping or hurting anyone. I feel shame when I look at my parents because they always raised me with such good morals and values and they think of me as such a good daughter because I get good grades and listen to them. However they have no idea about the bad kid I used to be and how I used to betray my friends. I wake up every morning disgusted by myself and I don’t think God will ever forgive me. I had so many dreams of getting a good job when I grew up so I could help the world and I wanted to grow up and start a family where I could raise my future children to be good people but now that I’ve become aware of my past actions I feel disgusting and think I don’t deserve any of my dreams coming true. I hurt so many other girls and I don’t think Waheguru will forgive me because I sinned so much at such a young age. Please help and provide some insight on what you think. Thank you. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.