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Is it all limited to pride?


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I am a 19 year old guy living in the western society. I have not been here for long, roughly a year I would say. Right now I am struggling to maintain my identity as a Sikh and it has been  much difficult than I though it would be. But what bothers me is that this difficulty is not because of someone else. But, because of  the people of my own community. So far, I have faced near to a little discrimination and a little ignorance. Not something too big to complaint about.  I have been misinterpreted as a Muslim. All fine with me, not a big deal. I have been called indirectly unattractive by a Hindu girl because of my turban and beard which is also fine for me as tbh. that girl really was not a princess herself and I don't really care about her thoughts. So far my messages and friend requests have been ignored on the Facebook group chats of my university, which I assume is due to the reason  I look different. Though that is just my assumption. But it is all fine to me because I was prepared for this. I knew this may happen and I don't really care about what people of other communities think about me and my appearance because it is me who is aware about the sacrifices of my community. But eventually I started realising that my greatest hurdle is not someone else but the people of my own community. My family members, my friends, my loved ones. It all started when I was having a casual discussion with my aunt( who have been the part of western society for about 6 years now) about how a guy thought that I was Muslim and how my texts and friend requests  have been getting ignored. To which I was being given an answer which was way out of discussion. I was being told in the most ignorant way possible that girls these days don't like guys with turban even in India and even she married my uncle because he was clean shaved. She even went to the extend saying that though her brother and father is having a beard and turban still she does not like it . Not a good answer to a guy who has maintained his turban and beard and is complaining you about some sort of discrimination. Maybe that's the reason that I developed so much hatred for her. Now, this an answer which I cannot ignore. She is not of another community, she is a family member aware of the sacrifices that were made by our community. But I didn't just throw away what she said. I gave it a thought and felt maybe she is right. I opened my Instagram and started looking for the girls of my community who once used to be my classmates. What I realised was that these girls were nowhere near to Sikhi. Not to mention how I came to this conclusion. I thought that girls of our community were not meant to do waxing and cut their hair for different hairstyles. But guess what, they still consider themselves to be Kaurs.They still consider themselves to be a Sikh. Enough about girls, I started looking up for the guys of my community who once used to be my classmates. Guess what? same scenario with them. I was able to find plenty of guys with turbans. But with beard, very rare. Lot of them were no longer in their Sikhi appearance. I don't blame them. Do you really think that girls having mindset like my aunt would ever date or marry a guy maintaining his beard and turban? What is worst? this kind of mindset is spreading in our society. But the thing is, they all still consider themselves to be SIKHS. And they all are aware about the sacrifices of our Gurus. From what I have seen is that our community is becoming all about the pride now. Girls of our community just want the pride of being a Kaur, being a princess. But cannot really follow what she is meant to. They want their kings to be clean shaved and these Singhs are too ready to give up their Sikhi. But still, they want to be called a Singh and a Kaur. Is our community limited to this now? Is it all about the pride of being a Kaur and a Singh even when you cannot live up to the glory and sacrifices of these two names? If this is the case, than how a guys like me can maintain their Sikh appearance during such times? I hope someone would enlighten me and help me out to find a solution.

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