Need Advice Help

[Guru_Ka_Daas]

Shri Waheguru Ji Da Khalsa, Shri Waheguru Ji De Fateh,

Satsriakal to all my brothers and sisters on this forum. I hope everyone is safe and sound along with their family and friends. I needed some advice or suggestions from my fellow Sikhs. I do my daily required prayers, I try to stay positive, I do socialize and try to stay happy but my life has been continuously troublesome and negative. Please see below of how it’s negative and need tips suggestions to improve my life:

1. My father passed away when I was 6 years old, was attached with him a lot.
2. Struggle in family disputes, arguments, struggle in studies 
3. Betrayal from family and friends 
4. Continuously obstacles keep happening no matter how hard I try to succeed in life 
5. Wife left forever so ended up in divorce.
6. No siblings it’s just me and mom the house feels empty.
7. Attempting re-marriage but women these days either have behavior problem or attitude not good, or they want to pressurize the guy in their own ways. 

I am not understanding that despite my devotion to Waheguru / Gurus / Banis why is everything negative happening and no good outcome happening? I don’t drink I don’t smoke I don’t get angry but there is just something wrong somewhere something is not right

[Soulfinder]

1 hour ago, Guru_Ka_Daas said:

Shri Waheguru Ji Da Khalsa, Shri Waheguru Ji De Fateh,

Satsriakal to all my brothers and sisters on this forum. I hope everyone is safe and sound along with their family and friends. I needed some advice or suggestions from my fellow Sikhs. I do my daily required prayers, I try to stay positive, I do socialize and try to stay happy but my life has been continuously troublesome and negative. Please see below of how it’s negative and need tips suggestions to improve my life:

1. My father passed away when I was 6 years old, was attached with him a lot.
2. Struggle in family disputes, arguments, struggle in studies 
3. Betrayal from family and friends 
4. Continuously obstacles keep happening no matter how hard I try to succeed in life 
5. Wife left forever so ended up in divorce.
6. No siblings it’s just me and mom the house feels empty.
7. Attempting re-marriage but women these days either have behavior problem or attitude not good, or they want to pressurize the guy in their own ways. 

I am not understanding that despite my devotion to Waheguru / Gurus / Banis why is everything negative happening and no good outcome happening? I don’t drink I don’t smoke I don’t get angry but there is just something wrong somewhere something is not right

Wjkk wjkf veer ji. First of all i would like to welcome to you to the website as this is your first thread post on here. 

What you have written is really sad and its horrible that you have had to go through all of this through out your entire life. 

Send me a private message so you can help open up more on there if you are comfortable with that. As i know what you are going through is terrible. Have you thought getting help from the doctor regarding these issues ?

[harsharan000]

2 hours ago, Guru_Ka_Daas said:

Shri Waheguru Ji Da Khalsa, Shri Waheguru Ji De Fateh,

Satsriakal to all my brothers and sisters on this forum. I hope everyone is safe and sound along with their family and friends. I needed some advice or suggestions from my fellow Sikhs. I do my daily required prayers, I try to stay positive, I do socialize and try to stay happy but my life has been continuously troublesome and negative. Please see below of how it’s negative and need tips suggestions to improve my life:

1. My father passed away when I was 6 years old, was attached with him a lot.
2. Struggle in family disputes, arguments, struggle in studies 
3. Betrayal from family and friends 
4. Continuously obstacles keep happening no matter how hard I try to succeed in life 
5. Wife left forever so ended up in divorce.
6. No siblings it’s just me and mom the house feels empty.
7. Attempting re-marriage but women these days either have behavior problem or attitude not good, or they want to pressurize the guy in their own ways. 

I am not understanding that despite my devotion to Waheguru / Gurus / Banis why is everything negative happening and no good outcome happening? I don’t drink I don’t smoke I don’t get angry but there is just something wrong somewhere something is not right

SSA Guru ka Daas jee,

Please bear in mind that everything that happens, does not happen  just like that without any apparent reason though beyond our understanding, but only due to our very own past karam, not because we are doing something wrong now. 

Your present devotion towards Waheguru is only to get strength to face any ups and downs in life, for He is our true friend and anchor at all times.

This is a common mistake which most of us make, for we think that if we devote ourselves to Him, nothing bad will happen to us.

The law of karma, is His also His  hukum, which nobody can alter, it is only that we do not see nor know the burden of karmas we are carrying on our heads.

Waheguru is also known Dayal Purukh, He is all mercy and love, He does not deliberately send us any pain or discomfort,  and to know Him,  we have to arise within ourselves by doing the bhakti which takes us within, there where He is, once within, and having His darshan, then only we get that finer understanding, and then only will we able to say : tera bhaana meetha laagay, then only our faith in Him will be strong like a rock, meanwhile we will be quite shaky whenever we receive the blows of our own karmas,  nevertheless we should stay at His door at all times and circumstances , in that lies our welfare.

Stay blessed.

SSA.

[Guru_Ka_Daas]

Thank you to both of you for replies, I really appreciate it. My mother’s grandmother used to say, “Purbala Da Likha Paiyea”. It is quite possible that previous birth karmas is the reason of my suffering, sadness, obstacles and betrayals which I am getting. I do think of these things a lot in my life, for example many bad people in this world but when they turn to prayer, or start doing good deeds, their life changes for the good - so how is that a possibility? While when I see good people do good karam they still suffer or bad people do bad yet they are blessed in every way of life...some things seem confusing though I am no guru so I cannot complain I can only accept my fate 

[harsharan000]

On 8/14/2020 at 2:22 AM, Guru_Ka_Daas said:

Thank you to both of you for replies, I really appreciate it. My mother’s grandmother used to say, “Purbala Da Likha Paiyea”. It is quite possible that previous birth karmas is the reason of my suffering, sadness, obstacles and betrayals which I am getting. I do think of these things a lot in my life, for example many bad people in this world but when they turn to prayer, or start doing good deeds, their life changes for the good - so how is that a possibility? While when I see good people do good karam they still suffer or bad people do bad yet they are blessed in every way of life...some things seem confusing though I am no guru so I cannot complain I can only accept my fate 

Brother Guru ka Daas, 

please do not analyze yourself so much, mind tends to get us confused and negative.

Just be clear that absolutely nothing happens without a cause behind it, howsoever it may not be understandable to us, for just as every fruit we see, it is because there was surely a seed sown for it, otherwise it would be impossible.

Good people suffering or bad people apparently happy, has to do also with their past karam, not because of anything of their present life. Just as anything we see in a film or movie, it is because previously those acts have been recorded, not because current shots are being added in that film.

Current recordings will be seen in the next forthcoming chapters.

Just think, if things did not happen as per the law of karma, this creation would be in chaos, that is why also things do not always happen as per individual petty and limited wishes or desires, but according to some higher level of consciousness which is universal, accurate and impartial.

Our love and devotion for Waheguru, has to be solely for the sake of loving Him, not as an insurance policy to get something in exchange in case of any undesired events, that would be more like a commercial transaction, rather than love for Him.

If He is Dayal Purukh, how can He for example make someone make blind, deaf, lame, insane, sick, poor....etc.

That type of god, would not be worthy of our love and devotion.

Our love for Waheguru, has to be pure, desireles,  just as a mother loves her child, she loves the child not because of anything in return, but just for the sake of loving the child. Her love sprouts out naturally without any efforts from her side.

In a similar way, we should love Waheguru. If it is difficult for us to love Him because He is formless, we can imagine any of our Guru Sahiban as a support for our mind, and then with the grace of the mantra of His simran, enter the subtler spiritual realms, have the darshan of His formless Jot, and with the aid of Shabad Guru, reach our Nijh Ghar, Sach Khand.

Prabh ka simran mun kee mael jaae(all of our karmas, vikars, evil tendencies, which hold us as prisoners in the painful mayavee creation)

Then also, the Bani says: Prabh ka simran garb na baseh.

It is only by selfless love, that one can merge in Him, and that is exactly what Guru Sahiban and Bhagat Jan, teach us to do through Gurbani.

SSA.

[Guru_Ka_Daas]

On 8/13/2020 at 6:13 PM, harsharan000 said:

SSA Guru ka Daas jee,

Please bear in mind that everything that happens, does not happen  just like that without any apparent reason though beyond our understanding, but only due to our very own past karam, not because we are doing something wrong now. 

Your present devotion towards Waheguru is only to get strength to face any ups and downs in life, for He is our true friend and anchor at all times.

This is a common mistake which most of us make, for we think that if we devote ourselves to Him, nothing bad will happen to us.

The law of karma, is His also His  hukum, which nobody can alter, it is only that we do not see nor know the burden of karmas we are carrying on our heads.

Waheguru is also known Dayal Purukh, He is all mercy and love, He does not deliberately send us any pain or discomfort,  and to know Him,  we have to arise within ourselves by doing the bhakti which takes us within, there where He is, once within, and having His darshan, then only we get that finer understanding, and then only will we able to say : tera bhaana meetha laagay, then only our faith in Him will be strong like a rock, meanwhile we will be quite shaky whenever we receive the blows of our own karmas,  nevertheless we should stay at His door at all times and circumstances , in that lies our welfare.

Stay blessed.

SSA.

Very well said thanks bhaji I have come to acceptance 

[Guru_Ka_Daas]

20 hours ago, harsharan000 said:

Brother Guru ka Daas, 

please do not analyze yourself so much, mind tends to get us confused and negative.

Just be clear that absolutely nothing happens without a cause behind it, howsoever it may not be understandable to us, for just as every fruit we see, it is because there was surely a seed sown for it, otherwise it would be impossible.

Good people suffering or bad people apparently happy, has to do also with their past karam, not because of anything of their present life. Just as anything we see in a film or movie, it is because previously those acts have been recorded, not because current shots are being added in that film.

Current recordings will be seen in the next forthcoming chapters.

Just think, if things did not happen as per the law of karma, this creation would be in chaos, that is why also things do not always happen as per individual petty and limited wishes or desires, but according to some higher level of consciousness which is universal, accurate and impartial.

Our love and devotion for Waheguru, has to be solely for the sake of loving Him, not as an insurance policy to get something in exchange in case of any undesired events, that would be more like a commercial transaction, rather than love for Him.

If He is Dayal Purukh, how can He for example make someone make blind, deaf, lame, insane, sick, poor....etc.

That type of god, would not be worthy of our love and devotion.

Our love for Waheguru, has to be pure, desireles,  just as a mother loves her child, she loves the child not because of anything in return, but just for the sake of loving the child. Her love sprouts out naturally without any efforts from her side.

In a similar way, we should love Waheguru. If it is difficult for us to love Him because He is formless, we can imagine any of our Guru Sahiban as a support for our mind, and then with the grace of the mantra of His simran, enter the subtler spiritual realms, have the darshan of His formless Jot, and with the aid of Shabad Guru, reach our Nijh Ghar, Sach Khand.

Prabh ka simran mun kee mael jaae(all of our karmas, vikars, evil tendencies, which hold us as prisoners in the painful mayavee creation)

Then also, the Bani says: Prabh ka simran garb na baseh.

It is only by selfless love, that one can merge in Him, and that is exactly what Guru Sahiban and Bhagat Jan, teach us to do through Gurbani.

SSA.

Bhaji I have one more question, why doesn’t Waheguru remind us of our past birth karma so that we can correct the specific situation in order to make our current life more smoother? Would that not make more sense? Maybe some second sensor in brain where we could turn on and check past karma from past birth and go there to correct it just a thought process 

[harsharan000]

4 hours ago, Guru_Ka_Daas said:

Bhaji I have one more question, why doesn’t Waheguru remind us of our past birth karma so that we can correct the specific situation in order to make our current life more smoother? Would that not make more sense? Maybe some second sensor in brain where we could turn on and check past karma from past birth and go there to correct it just a thought process 

Brother Guru ka Daas, 

who says Waheguru has not warned us and also given us the method or technique to get out of this mayavee painful creation.

Our current situation is like someone caught drowning  in the mud, and when a passerby sees him, extends his arm to pull him out, then the one drowning asks questions such as : how am I here? Or who are you, and why do you want to take me out? We may laugh at these questions, but that is our reality. 

Our priority now is to get ourselves saved and not waste the time foolishly, we can get the answers once outside.

The fact is also, that we do not learn even from the mistakes in our present life, so what guarantee is there that we will not continue making those same and more mistakes in past lives for which we are trapped here. 

Also, it is not only the awareness of our mistakes which will prevent us from incurring in them, it is more to it, we have to hold on the strong hand of Guru Jee to be pulled out, rest assured that we have not done so in our past lives that is why we are still in the wheel of 84 or endless cycles of births and deaths.

In the following 2 verses, Guru Jee in clear and simple words, tells us in short how to get ourselves saved and return back to our Nijh Ghar in Sach Khand, in the lap of Sachay Patshah Waheguru Akal Purukh.

 (865-6)
ramat raam janam maran nivaarai.
Uttering the Lord's Name, birth and death are finished.

(865-6)
uchrat raam bhai paar utaarai.
Repeating the Lord's Name, one crosses over the terrifying world-ocean.

Stay blessed.

SSA

[Guru_Ka_Daas]

31 minutes ago, harsharan000 said:

Brother Guru ka Daas, 

who says Waheguru has not warned us and also given us the method or technique to get out of this mayavee painful creation.

Our current situation is like someone caught drowning  in the mud, and when a passerby sees him, extends his arm to pull him out, then the one drowning asks questions such as : how am I here? Or who are you, and why do you want to take me out? We may laugh at these questions, but that is our reality. 

Our priority now is to get ourselves saved and not waste the time foolishly, we can get the answers once outside.

The fact is also, that we do not learn even from the mistakes in our present life, so what guarantee is there that we will not continue making those same and more mistakes in past lives for which we are trapped here. 

Also, it is not only the awareness of our mistakes which will prevent us from incurring in them, it is more to it, we have to hold on the strong hand of Guru Jee to be pulled out, rest assured that we have not done so in our past lives that is why we are still in the wheel of 84 or endless cycles of births and deaths.

In the following 2 verses, Guru Jee in clear and simple words, tells us in short how to get ourselves saved and return back to our Nijh Ghar in Sach Khand, in the lap of Sachay Patshah Waheguru Akal Purukh.

 (865-6)
ramat raam janam maran nivaarai.
Uttering the Lord's Name, birth and death are finished.

(865-6)
uchrat raam bhai paar utaarai.
Repeating the Lord's Name, one crosses over the terrifying world-ocean.

Stay blessed.

SSA

Thanks bhaji - sometimes I wonder how evil itself was created? Couldn’t Waheguru just create good only and no evil would exist at all otherwise it’s like stressful headache mixing good and evil. I imagine if Waheguru had not made evil as existence then this earth would be heaven itself 

[harsharan000]

22 hours ago, Guru_Ka_Daas said:

Thanks bhaji - sometimes I wonder how evil itself was created? Couldn’t Waheguru just create good only and no evil would exist at all otherwise it’s like stressful headache mixing good and evil. I imagine if Waheguru had not made evil as existence then this earth would be heaven itself 

Brother, what you so call evil is something very relative, and it is something which comes in our way for our growth as better spiritual beings.

First of all, everything that exists, has come out of Him.

And as the Bani says: Sabh Gobind hae. And as we all know, Waheguru is the source of all goodness and wisdom, so naturally nothing bad can come from Him. Apart from Him, everything is transitory, thus perishable, including heavens, astral or causal paradises such as Swarg or Baikunth.

The Bani says: EKAS BIN SABH DANDH HAE.

Only Waheguru and His abode Sach Khand are true and eternal. And that is where we belong to, our true home. It is our ignorance, if we say earth could be heaven if evil did not exist. 

When parents send their children to the Uni, it is only to grow intellectually and get a degree by mastering several subjects, with hard work and honesty, which means we are mature,  and well prepared to face life with bravery and courage. But if the student does not pay attention to the education and gets lost into wrong company,  that student can be thrown out of the school or uni.

In a similar way, we souls, are sent into the creation to learn and become mature spiritual wise, if we succeed in that purpose, we go back home sooner by His apaar kirpa.

But if we mess with bad company and loose our goal out of our sight, we get failed.

But unlike the school or uni, we are not sacked out, because by His  infinite grace, we are given opportunity after opportunity with the law of karmas and the wheel of 84, to grow to that desired high level of consciousness, get passed, thus ready to return back home. 

So you see, in our ignorance,  instead to grow spiritual/consciousness wise, and return back to our true home, where our Father is awaiting us, we want to make a permanent residence in an alien land which will one day vanish, thus be a cause to increase our pain and agony.

Our  only solution is Gurbani, if we pay attention to the teachings of Guru Sahiban and Bhagat Jan, and implement them in our daily lives, we shall definietely fulfill the purpose of becoming mature and pure enough, to return back to our true home, of our proud true Father, Waheguru Akal Purukh.

In short, the underline message of the Bani to be paid attention is:

Ik Oankar, Satgur parsad, jap.

This is the indescribable greatness of Guru and Bani.

Stay blessed.

SSA.

 

[Guru_Ka_Daas]

23 hours ago, harsharan000 said:

Brother, what you so call evil is something very relative, and it is something which comes in our way for our growth as better spiritual beings.

First of all, everything that exists, has come out of Him.

And as the Bani says: Sabh Gobind hae. And as we all know, Waheguru is the source of all goodness and wisdom, so naturally nothing bad can come from Him. Apart from Him, everything is transitory, thus perishable, including heavens, astral or causal paradises such as Swarg or Baikunth.

The Bani says: EKAS BIN SABH DANDH HAE.

Only Waheguru and His abode Sach Khand are true and eternal. And that is where we belong to, our true home. It is our ignorance, if we say earth could be heaven if evil did not exist. 

When parents send their children to the Uni, it is only to grow intellectually and get a degree by mastering several subjects, with hard work and honesty, which means we are mature,  and well prepared to face life with bravery and courage. But if the student does not pay attention to the education and gets lost into wrong company,  that student can be thrown out of the school or uni.

In a similar way, we souls, are sent into the creation to learn and become mature spiritual wise, if we succeed in that purpose, we go back home sooner by His apaar kirpa.

But if we mess with bad company and loose our goal out of our sight, we get failed.

But unlike the school or uni, we are not sacked out, because by His  infinite grace, we are given opportunity after opportunity with the law of karmas and the wheel of 84, to grow to that desired high level of consciousness, get passed, thus ready to return back home. 

So you see, in our ignorance,  instead to grow spiritual/consciousness wise, and return back to our true home, where our Father is awaiting us, we want to make a permanent residence in an alien land which will one day vanish, thus be a cause to increase our pain and agony.

Our  only solution is Gurbani, if we pay attention to the teachings of Guru Sahiban and Bhagat Jan, and implement them in our daily lives, we shall definietely fulfill the purpose of becoming mature and pure enough, to return back to our true home, of our proud true Father, Waheguru Akal Purukh.

In short, the underline message of the Bani to be paid attention is:

Ik Oankar, Satgur parsad, jap.

This is the indescribable greatness of Guru and Bani.

Stay blessed.

SSA.

 

Thanks bhaji 

[Sikhilove]

On 8/13/2020 at 9:00 PM, Guru_Ka_Daas said:

Shri Waheguru Ji Da Khalsa, Shri Waheguru Ji De Fateh,

Satsriakal to all my brothers and sisters on this forum. I hope everyone is safe and sound along with their family and friends. I needed some advice or suggestions from my fellow Sikhs. I do my daily required prayers, I try to stay positive, I do socialize and try to stay happy but my life has been continuously troublesome and negative. Please see below of how it’s negative and need tips suggestions to improve my life:

1. My father passed away when I was 6 years old, was attached with him a lot.
2. Struggle in family disputes, arguments, struggle in studies 
3. Betrayal from family and friends 
4. Continuously obstacles keep happening no matter how hard I try to succeed in life 
5. Wife left forever so ended up in divorce.
6. No siblings it’s just me and mom the house feels empty.
7. Attempting re-marriage but women these days either have behavior problem or attitude not good, or they want to pressurize the guy in their own ways. 

I am not understanding that despite my devotion to Waheguru / Gurus / Banis why is everything negative happening and no good outcome happening? I don’t drink I don’t smoke I don’t get angry but there is just something wrong somewhere something is not right

Hi. Develop strength. Take care of your mind body and spirit, ie work, exercise and mediate. Betrayal happens, but we have to be strong and believe the Guru and what he teaches us, learn any lessons there are to be learned and push through it. Read gurbani and apply it to your life practically. Forgive those who have betrayed you and treated you badly and develop an I don’t care attitude, focus on your own life and leave blame.

Be fearless, for everyone everything everywhere is God, see him in every person, in every action. Practice gratitude for the small things you have in life and build your life to the life you want, step by step. In life we must fight for what we want. 

Guru Nanak walked into Mecca during a time where non believers were being tortured, decapitated etc. He was incredibly brave and spoke the Truth, he didn’t care about people’s perceptions of him, betrayal and mistreatment were normal from his family. His strength serves as an inspiration, we should strive to be like the Gurus. 

 

[Mooorakh]

Dukh daaru sukh rog bhayaa... 

Pain and suffering are an integral part of a human life.. I have faced those times.too and so has many of us on the forum- eg our most respectful lucky Veer Ji here, who almost got a new life- gone through a major accident and coma .. but if they lead you to bhakti- make you realise the real meaning/ purpose of your existence what better daaru( medicine) can one get. 

All the best veere.. we all are on a journey against kaal,you aren't alone... 

 

[Premi]

Great topic, bump

How are you now @Guru_Ka_Daas ?