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Sikh Marriage


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On 5/16/2022 at 1:36 PM, Khalsa_Sikh said:

Waheguru ji ka khalsa Waheguru ji Ki Fateh, 

I am writing this because I am very tense and need some advice. I am in Canada, I fall in love with an amritdhari (baptized) girl. Her family is ramgharia Sikh all amritdhari. My family is Rajpoot and we are not turban Sikhs. We both are from India and are in the process of getting our PR. Her family is conservative when her brother came here for studies her family took her to the next city. I was ready to become amritdhari at that time as well but unfortunately, I did not get any dates for that. Her family even took hukamnama from Shri Guru Granth Sahib Ji and they said if I become amritdhari Sikh by heart I will get every blessing. Her parents also said if I become amritdhari then they will think. With the grace of God, on this Vaisakhi I also become amritdhari but now her family is not accepting me on the ground that my family is not a Sikh family, their religion and culture are different, they even said they do not care about the hukamnama anymore because my time is up but the reality is they never gave me any time. They are even emotionally forcing her to get married to some other guy.

Please tell me what and how should I talk to them. I tried calling her parents several times but they are not responding as I thought. I am only asking for one chance if they do not like me I will accept it but they are not ready to give me a chance. 

Waheguru ji ka khalsa Waheguru ji Ki Fateh. 

wjkk wjkf

How old are you brother? How old is she?

Are you from a Sikh Rajput or a Hindu Rajput family?

 

Bhul chuk maaf

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14 hours ago, Khalsa_Sikh said:

Waheguru ji ka khalsa, Waheguru ji ki fateh,

My dad's side is Hindu Rajpoot but my mom's side is jatt Sikh and my parents taught me about both religions and let me choose. I followed the Sikh religion and my whole family is fully supporting me. I am 28 and she is 27 years old.

 

Waheguru ji ka khalsa, Waheguru ji ki fateh

Do you (or your love) know of any Gurmukh Mahapurakhs?

 

Bhul chuk maaf

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  • 1 month later...
On 6/20/2022 at 4:08 PM, Khalsa_Sikh said:

Waheguru ji ka khalsa Waheguru ji ki fateh

I am uploading the updates after the girl's family is here in Canada and talking to her. So finally after reaching here in Canada they talk to the girl. They convinced her not to marry him they said if she marry him they will go back to India immediately and never see her face, which is very sad. They even convinced her to take a pledge by taking her hand on gutka sahib that she will never ever talk about him or bring up his name. She tried hard but her parents gave her the ultimate that they will end all their ties with her and she has to marry a boy of their choice.

Waheguru ji please show us a path her parents are not ready to listen to. It is very hard for her to choose.

 

Waheguru ji ka khalsa, Waheguru ji ki fateh

Sorry to hear that bro. When we love before we should bad things happen. You shouldn't have feelings for this girl until after Anand Karaj. Go arrange one with a good family through the Sangat. You really don't need or want in laws that aren't about it. 

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On 6/20/2022 at 7:08 PM, Khalsa_Sikh said:

Waheguru ji ka khalsa Waheguru ji ki fateh

I am uploading the updates after the girl's family is here in Canada and talking to her. So finally after reaching here in Canada they talk to the girl. They convinced her not to marry him they said if she marry him they will go back to India immediately and never see her face, which is very sad. They even convinced her to take a pledge by taking her hand on gutka sahib that she will never ever talk about him or bring up his name. She tried hard but her parents gave her the ultimate that they will end all their ties with her and she has to marry a boy of their choice.

Waheguru ji please show us a path her parents are not ready to listen to. It is very hard for her to choose.

 

Waheguru ji ka khalsa, Waheguru ji ki fateh

Did you talk to a Gurmukh Mahapurakh about your situation? Are you in Canada right now? Ontario?

 

Bhul chuk maaf

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On 6/20/2022 at 4:08 PM, Khalsa_Sikh said:

Waheguru ji ka khalsa Waheguru ji ki fateh

I am uploading the updates after the girl's family is here in Canada and talking to her. So finally after reaching here in Canada they talk to the girl. They convinced her not to marry him they said if she marry him they will go back to India immediately and never see her face, which is very sad. They even convinced her to take a pledge by taking her hand on gutka sahib that she will never ever talk about him or bring up his name. She tried hard but her parents gave her the ultimate that they will end all their ties with her and she has to marry a boy of their choice.

Waheguru ji please show us a path her parents are not ready to listen to. It is very hard for her to choose.

 

Waheguru ji ka khalsa, Waheguru ji ki fateh

My mood is still improving over time bro. Someone pointed out that my short response could come off as harsh and if it did I apologize. 

Here's what I responded to them, so you can better feel where I'm coming from brother. I...empathize with you bro. When I was foolosh enough to "fall in love" I did it entirely without reservation, got used and hurt. 

Which is why I now accept the wisdom of the Guru Sahiban. Treat yourself right. 

And if you want to call me bro or text, my email is dharamyudhsociety@gmail.com or Contact me using 'dharamyudh' on the Jami distributed communication platform: https://jami.net

I have been through dating, been through marriage, and am readying for Amrit and maybe one day...sooner than later mutter...Anand Karaj or Brahmcharya. 

Screenshot_20220623-174833_Chrome.thumb.jpg.25a606c7f9c92234bb3652c15a9d6a52.jpg

 

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And don't take it personally bro. Sikhs aren't exactly holding to Gurmat or the Purtan system. Even back in the day Guru Arjen Dev Ji wasn't considered a catch for marriage? The Paanth has always had a hard time sincerely doing Anand Karaj free of the marriage and dating concepts of this world. 

I don't have any strong family either bro. I empathize. 

What I'm sure of. 100 percent? Do your Nitnem, keep learning Paath and Gurmat Ithias, do physical work, work out and train with weapons. 

Get your Bana and posessions on point and minimized. And save up for land with a well. 

And have somebody you trust, find a wife for you, and don't involve yourself much. You need a succesful family woman to find you a wife who's looking to be successful in family life. 

Write out on paper what you expect from a wife and have the vichola hone it in and explain if your priorities are correct. Grishte Jeevan is a profession, be a pro, and get the help of pros. This world doesn't know shit about family life. 

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Sorry back to mild criticism. You picked the girl first Veer Ji and that's out of order. I know it's so easy to fall in love. Especially with Bhenji. But she's still your bhenji. In your next pass at Anand Karaj you already have Amrit, and you can do it correctly. Do not pick your wife. If all parties and families agree from the get go naturally? Sure. But if you look at Anand Karaj, which is not marriage, as a distinct system you've mixed in some dating and it hurt your heart bro. 

We're supposed to prepare ourselves, then seek a vichola. Doesn't have to be the paid vichola, that's in fact fake, you find yourself a real vichola and ask for their Seva. 

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