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WHY MARRY SO YOUNG?


lil_princess
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im curious to know why people are marrying so young!!! ??!!??? maybe its because im getting older, so i am getting to know more and more people who are getting married that i used to talk to. But i still don't understand it. You have your whole life to look up to. For me personally i think late 20s is the ideal age. YOu need to go to uni/college/school and get a good job, then go on. But i don't understand these people who want to take off and get married, i know someone who got married straight out of school! maybe its the culture. I don't know or mabye its my parents because they got married VERY late in indian timing, i dunno, but all i have to say is LIVE YOUR LIFE, its not just about marriage, its about being true to yourself and work up to it, maybe im too young to understand, but for some reason i don't understand why!!!??? i think that if u marry early its like throwing away your life too soon, wait a while. Anyways this has been buggin me b/c i get really shocked when i hear a young person getting married, i thought that this was over and done with... i know in "3rd world" countries girls get married at 17, or even younger. AHHHHHHHHHHHh anywayz what ya guyz think??

please don't take no OFFENSE/ DEFENCE to this, im just curious why people marry so young...... do you know?

and don't say love because thats just too typical of an answer!!!

--keep on smiling :D

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MARRIAGE.....hmm.... :? .... :shock: ..... :pray:

I dont know why people marry young or old. Its really all in Gods hands. But sometimes, people marry young maybe cuz they want to...ahehe sorry thatz probably not a great answer...lol 8) and abt people who marry old, well maybe cuz they didnt get ne1 when they were young, or maybe they jst wanna marry when they're old...(another not so great answer..lol) 8)

But I think I'd like to marry between 21-23, dat is 22???!!!! :P I dont know aye.... :oops:

How about you guys??? When is the right age to marry??? I know I would't wana marry when im old azzz, like 50!!!!! no way man....JOKES :LOL:

bye bye...

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i was raised by taking jutiya from the folks... same way my kids will be raised.. tried and tested theory :wink: :D :shock: :P :twisted:

Here Here, Yup, its tried and tested and it works to a certain extent.

As for girls getting married at young age in third world ( 17 - 20 ) then i think thats not true. Most kuriyans in punjab get married around 22 - 23 or maybe 24.

Its in west that punjabi ppl marry their kids at a young age because they fear the gf/ bf thing. I think 25 for a boy and 23 for a girl is an ideal age.

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im curious to know why people are marrying so young!!! ??!!??? maybe its because im getting older, so i am getting to know more and more people who are getting married that i used to talk to. But i still don't understand it. You have your whole life to look up to. For me personally i think late 20s is the ideal age. YOu need to go to uni/college/school and get a good job, then go on. But i don't understand these people who want to take off and get married, i know someone who got married straight out of school! maybe its the culture. I don't know or mabye its my parents because they got married VERY late in indian timing, i dunno, but all i have to say is LIVE YOUR LIFE, its not just about marriage, its about being true to yourself and work up to it, maybe im too young to understand, but for some reason i don't understand why!!!??? i think that if u marry early its like throwing away your life too soon, wait a while. Anyways this has been buggin me b/c i get really shocked when i hear a young person getting married, i thought that this was over and done with... i know in "3rd world" countries girls get married at 17, or even younger. AHHHHHHHHHHHh anywayz what ya guyz think??

please don't take no OFFENSE/ DEFENCE to this, im just curious why people marry so young...... do you know?

and don't say love because thats just too typical of an answer!!!

--keep on smiling :D

I BELIEVE that they get married in such a young age cause their parents think that..

IF THEY ARE NOT STUDYING AND STUFF

then their "tyaan" will go to other Girls/boys and thus it is better to get them married before they get a bf...and make their parents say "mai hoon aapna moo baar nhi dikha sakdi/a"

I mean they dont want their kids to get a gf/bf, which they will if their "tyaan" isn't on studies

thats what i think :? :? :shock:

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Guest Javanmard

getting married that young.mmmmm from what I have seen around me: most of those marriages are total failures. Why?

1.parents force you practically to get married to be socially correct

2. after puberty girls are considered in most families as a danger, getting them married at a young age is a way for many families to avoid so-called scandals

3. Lots of guys have never heard of the art of seducing and courting and find marriage to be so convenient

At least in the UK I can say that most of those marriages are failures. They may not all get divorced (maybe they should :roll: ) but unhappy they are for sure. Because of this pendoo mentality second generation kids perpetuate domestic unhapiness and that's disgusting!!!!!

It's your lives, live them at all costs!!!!! Don't live for someone else be it society or even your parents!!!

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I have seen many (around 10+) young marriages end in failure.You have to be mature and financially secure to get married.

I think it's best for the married couple to live away from parents and grandparents and other family unless you want mega-stress all the time.

I speak from experience :roll:

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Its in west that punjabi ppl marry their kids at a young age because they fear the gf/ bf thing. I think 25 for a boy and 23 for a girl is an ideal age.

Yep ! Here in Punjab generally itz around 24-25 for Girlz and 27-28 for boyz because now everybody has to study even till post graduation to get good decent jobz here. It is said that first baby should be before you are 30 (boyz) so that by your retirement ie. 58 yrs atleast one of kidz is in an earning member. :!:

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I have seen many (around 10+) young marriages end in failure.You have to be mature and financially secure to get married.

I think it's best for the married couple to live away from parents and grandparents and other family unless you want mega-stress all the time.

I speak from experience :roll:

Well itz not possible each of time...

but you have to be a genuine good politican to maintain the right balance in the family after marriage... so that expectationz of each of them are met :twisted: Stress has got to there... but you have to take this as challenge and endure this challenge for the lifetime... :roll:

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i am not sure, but 15-20 would be an ideal age to marry if u look from a spiritual view point, u need not have to have kids.. but marriage in this style will prevent u looking or going after other girls... it will surely prevent sex before marriage with mutliple ppl which happens a lot these days and stop u r mind lusting after lots of women.

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Guest Javanmard

am not sure, but 15-20 would be an ideal age to marry if u look from a spiritual view point, u need not have to have kids.. but marriage in this style will prevent u looking or going after other girls... it will surely prevent sex before marriage with mutliple ppl which happens a lot these days and stop u r mind lusting after lots of wom

That's why there is gandharva marriage... for that age!

most people don't have maturity at that age to get married and have a successful marriage. Anyway, in the UK marriage without consent of the parties involved is illegal so.. if your a parent of 15 year old girl and you think about marrying her better try Afghanistan :evil:

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yeah that was a long time ago when the gurus got married, i mean look at our grandparents they got married at like 18 or so, i think that is VERY YOUNG! man marriage for me is years ahead of me! and i think u need to be like 25 plus! anywayz thaz my opinion, and juz cuz u can't handle the opposite sex is no excuse to get married young, that juz promotes affairs and other immature things peepz do!!! and juz cuz ur parents say u have to marry young is no excuse too, WHO SIGNS THE PAPERS TO THE FORMS?? U DO! not ur mom or dad!

one

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Khalsa Soulja is totally correct but our Gurus lived in another society in a different time with other customs...

SSA Lalleshvari,

First and foremost I hope you in Chardiyan Kalan..Second of all, Remember when you argued with me about girls and how they dressed..and how they should be able to wear shirts wid no back or belly showing right..And I pointed out that its different time and other customs..You said no our guru's wifes did them, and so its ok now..First you say that marraying young is a stupidity but then you go on about guru jis marraying at young times...So aren't you contradicting your self..in regards to if guru ji did it we can too..LOL

Hey..Most of time is becoz the child has had a khanjar(i) and they daffa dem off

Simply, LOL

In regards to this topic, like everyone said marraying at young age is stupidity..The thing is it aint about the age..Its all about who are the two individuals involved...some people can handle marriage perfectally at 18 and while others can't. As far as the law goes, I am in for it..18 should be the minimum, as least by then ..you have gotten the chance to receive a high school diploma..least you can get a job with it ..that you can live day -to-day..The thing in marriage you got be responsible enough to be on your own, make your own decisions, as someone said earlier be financially secured, and have a job...most important part is understanding one another...

I don't really thinks it all about age, its all about ..the two individuals involved...

My Penny Worth

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Guest Javanmard

In some cultures young people are more mature than in other cultures. In Maharaj's times at the age of 16 a young person would already have received his/her basic education. You could see 16year olds fighting in battles, knowing Kama shastras etc... In that case I have no objection to marrying at a young age if that means that the two parties involoved are maure enough: but the case is that most young people today are totally hopelesly IMMATURE :roll: :roll: :roll: .

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gurus got married when they were like 10 theres nothing wrong with it.

it gives a strong foundation to a relationship and they know each other for a long time n get a strong bond or whatever

i dnt think early/young or any marriage at all is 4 every1 tho

hmm.. strong bond?? relationship?? wow.. kinda sounds like.. dare i say it.. LOVE... sorry, i know that's like garlic for you KS...

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I agree with K4ur. I wish I could have gotten married like 20ss.. now I am 22, I probably wont marry, coz I am leaving home and becoming like a sant-type of person, but I know if u get married to a bhakt tpye of girl.. then your path to God is very smooth and fine. Look at it from a religious point of view... who cares about diplomas and degrees. Just do khet bhari and earn money. Okay our aim is not to accumulate pounds of dollars.. but to accumulate bhakti, simran, seva. So that should be our primary goal and secondary concern should be food and diplomas and how are we gonna support each other. If the coupls is highly devoted spiritual, then they probably wouldnt even need to worry about worldly concerns.

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I'm 22 and my Mum has a go at me daily about getting married. I just don't feel ready, I reckon I won't even consider it until I was around 25-26ish? Who knows?! Right now I feel it's too early for me, but that's because I don't wanna grow up! :LOL:

I think it's an individual thing really, depends on how independant you are, responsibilities etc don't come easy. I'm getting quite a collection of photo's of Amritdhari Sikhs courtesy of Mum :LOL: and now it's not even funny dissing their noses.

I do agree that if you have a religious partner your life is further enriched. K4ur I didn't understand what you meant Penji, is it necessary to marry in order to progress in Sikhi? :? :shock:

JJJ you're only 22, what you mean you won't marry?

Gurfateh

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