Guest Posted October 6, 2003 Report Share Posted October 6, 2003 I'm 22 and my Mum has a go at me daily about getting married. I just don't feel ready, I reckon I won't even consider it until I was around 25-26ish? Who knows?! Right now I feel it's too early for me, but that's because I don't wanna grow up! I think it's an individual thing really, depends on how independant you are, responsibilities etc don't come easy. I'm getting quite a collection of photo's of Amritdhari Sikhs courtesy of Mum and now it's not even funny dissing their noses. I do agree that if you have a religious partner your life is further enriched. K4ur I didn't understand what you meant Penji, is it necessary to marry in order to progress in Sikhi? :? :shock: JJJ you're only 22, what you mean you won't marry? Gurfateh saachii... anyone chance for canadian sikhs?? i gotta very lonely and isiolated singh for you 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jjj Posted October 7, 2003 Report Share Posted October 7, 2003 I do agree that if you have a religious partner your life is further enriched. K4ur I didn't understand what you meant Penji, is it necessary to marry in order to progress in Sikhi? JJJ you're only 22, what you mean you won't marry? Gurfateh Gurpeet, If you have a **SPRITIUAL** Patner it will really help. It makes your progress towards God less hard and quick, but if you dont.. you know you have to work hard a lot. Its difficult. I dont know if I get married or not, becoz I am leaving home soon, going to amritsar and practice just gurmat there, so who would like to get there daughter married to someone liek a person whose left home and everything, such a thing doesnt happen or I might get married.. but that only akal purakh knows. However its not one of my important concerns. If it happens, its all good and if it doesnt happen its all good too. You should get married if u r 22. I mean 25-26 is kind of still okay. ... but if you get a spiritual patner.. it is really nice, you cant ask for more. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest BikramjitSingh Posted October 7, 2003 Report Share Posted October 7, 2003 I'm 22 and my Mum has a go at me daily about getting married. I just don't feel ready, I reckon I won't even consider it until I was around 25-26ish? Who knows?! Right now I feel it's too early for me, but that's because I don't wanna grow up! I think it's an individual thing really, depends on how independant you are, responsibilities etc don't come easy. I'm getting quite a collection of photo's of Amritdhari Sikhs courtesy of Mum and now it's not even funny dissing their noses. I do agree that if you have a religious partner your life is further enriched. K4ur I didn't understand what you meant Penji, is it necessary to marry in order to progress in Sikhi? :? :shock: JJJ you're only 22, what you mean you won't marry? Gurfateh Gurpreet Kaur Ji Go with what your heart tells you. If you don't think you are ready for marriage then chances are you're not. Marriage is a big responsibility and never to be taken lightly. N30 Singh saachii... anyone chance for canadian sikhs?? i gotta very lonely and isiolated singh for you Jeh Gurpreet Kaur Ji saday Ingland waliyan noon nahin 'Han' kehndi ta' Kanedah walay munday noon ta' zaroor 'Na' kahou. Lagda ohnu chharra rehna paou 'te ohnu dal roti banouni sikhni paou. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sardu Posted October 7, 2003 Report Share Posted October 7, 2003 im curious to know why people are marrying so young!!! ??!!??? maybe its because im getting older, so i am getting to know more and more people who are getting married that i used to talk to. lol!!! yeah .. same problem here... My all friends are getting married one by one.. and thus affecting mom's concern and indirectly putting presssure on meeee... But i still don't understand it. You have your whole life to look up to. For me personally i think late 20s is the ideal age. YOu need to go to uni/college/school and get a good job, then go on. Absolutely... I am not going to sacrfice before the age of 28. But i don't understand these people who want to take off and get married, i know someone who got married straight out of school! maybe its the culture. Not exactly. It has got some reasons also. I don't know or mabye its my parents because they got married VERY late in indian timing, i dunno, but all i have to say is LIVE YOUR LIFE, its not just about marriage, Yeaaah...its not just about marriage.. U got all the rights to be happy as long as u can. its about being true to yourself and work up to it, maybe im too young to understand, but for some reason i don't understand why!!!??? i think that if u marry early its like throwing away your life too soon, wait a while. Anyways this has been buggin me b/c i get really shocked when i hear a young person getting married, i thought that this was over and done with... i know in "3rd world" countries girls get married at 17, or even younger. AHHHHHHHHHHHh anywayz what ya guyz think?? Now what may be the reason and don't say love because thats just too typical of an answer!!! --keep on smiling thanks for the last line.. u too keep on smiling.. it gives lots of confidence.. When we mention girls married in the age of 17.. its mostly due to the belief that girls are like burden.. the sooner u get rid off the better for u. This is certainly BAD.. and Things are changing very fast. Still there are some "backward areas" which still need lots of awareness. If we talk about well-to-do-of famlilies... we notice that girls are generally married as soon as the enter or complete their final year of graduation. And boys are generally married in the age of 21-22.. Why? This is mostly happens in bussiness-oriented family.. the reason is plane simple. Parents think (and decide) that sooner or later the boy has to involve in and take care of the all set bussiness there is no point in going college.. etc. So as soon as they complete graduation.. they are put into (family)bussiness and in couple of years when they used to of that.. they are settled and capable so time for marriage. if the boy is of 22 years.. girls has to be of 19-20 years... Children also feel comfertable since they become used of this life style and have no other options... One may notice significant difference in service-oriented family.... Where education and career has far more importnace ( like in my case , fortunetly).. Regards 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 7, 2003 Report Share Posted October 7, 2003 Neo Bhaji you crack me up, keep your loony Singhs to yourself Problem with following your heart is that some people don't have one Ok that was lame, I dunno, I think you can never be definate about this one, I may wake up one day and feel ready, there are no guarantees! I think as long as your parents are happy and you respect and include them in your decision, then things should go well for anyone with Vaheguru's Kirpa. Parents know us better than anyone else, and it's not a bad thing to trust their decision completely. 25-26 is a good age I feel because you are more settled in life generally, but as I said, it varies from person to person. I know someone who is older than 26 who still acts like a spoilt kid! Gurfateh 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amrikingh Posted October 7, 2003 Report Share Posted October 7, 2003 Problem with following your heart is that some people don't have one AHO :mrgreen: 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K4ur Posted October 7, 2003 Report Share Posted October 7, 2003 Im directing this straight to Gurpreet Penji... Vaheguru JI Ka khalsa, Vaheguru Ji Ke Fateh. To start a successful marriage - you have to have a partner - for to do real bhagti. Your birth is one aspect, your amrit shakna is another, your marriage is another and then ur funeral.... Each a target. Your husband will be the centre part of your life - ppl say u settle wen u marry - but really its then that ur life truley begins. Have a successful marriage and family.... I would emphasize on marriage a lot!!!!!!! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K4ur Posted October 7, 2003 Report Share Posted October 7, 2003 oh yeah - i dnt bleev in love marriages!!!! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amrikingh Posted October 8, 2003 Report Share Posted October 8, 2003 oh yeah - i dnt bleev in love marriages!!!! I love you 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sher a punjab Posted October 8, 2003 Report Share Posted October 8, 2003 I use to be of the same opinion: won't get married until I am at least 26-27. But now at the age of 27, my opinions have changed somewat. My parents and I are finding it quite difficult to find a changee girl who is also religious minded, as I think it's important to be on the same wavelength in order to make life easier. Anyway, I am sticking to my guns and see what happens ...8) 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sardu Posted October 8, 2003 Report Share Posted October 8, 2003 oh yeah - i dnt bleev in love marriages!!!! .. its okay but i hope you do and will bleev in love.. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boostsingh Posted October 8, 2003 Report Share Posted October 8, 2003 Hi guys, To be honest I think its all a matter of finding the right person, especially when you get into your mid 20's. If you find the right person and everything is good in terms of you and your parents are happy then there is no real reason to hang about. I say mid 20's as most people will have a direction in life by then. Like someone said as you get older it can become more difficult to find someone i think this is because you become set in your ways and you will become less flexible etc. Im 26 at the moment and think I really should be getting married soon...so look out girls lol. I believe it doesnt really matter which route you take weather its love marriage or arranged aslong as everyone agrees its all cool. But one thing I would say is don't start a relationship with someone you know you have no chance of getting married to. I dont think people realise the pain and damage it can leave behind. If you are gonna start a relationship make it clear from the start what direction you wanna go ie short term or long term. anyways thats my 2 pence worth (works abit slow today lol) Gurpeet 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K4ur Posted October 8, 2003 Report Share Posted October 8, 2003 I love you - well Pagee - ur very funny. If you find the right person and everything is good in terms of you and your parents are happy then there is no real reason to hang about. - dnt agree with u there - this matter of "you" finding - thats not gud. I tell ya straight up yeah - my mum or popz or brother or any1 elder then me who i know genuinley cares 4 me..... is like GuruJi sorting out my marriage. I wud neva approach a guy - possible hint to my brava.... tell him the possiblity - but just to make it aware - i wundt wana know anything or talk to him or nuttin like dat.... theres a very VERY thin line - trust me - i dont wana cross it, not even near it with a bargpole!!!! Sardu Ji - i bleev in love yeah - but its not sumthing i want to really know about. Im 16, right now, i just want to be me, have the presence of a young lady that not married but blossoming - (hopefully 4 the better). Ive seen the false love out there - the ungenuine feelings and at one point - could have of gone the total wrong direction!!!!! When it comes to marriage - ill stand my ground. I dnt agree with love marrages!! Unless my mum n dad said i have to - i wudnt even atend the actual marriage ceremony if it was a love one of other peoples.. I dont mind really when i get married, i stick to what my elders have taught me and kirpa naal, ill stay in this thought of mind. Ive never really forced my opinion on anyone and im not now... but love marriages are wrong. Just wrong pure and simple. I will never agree with them... I see wot u mean that ur parents, (sher a punjab) that they r having trouble finging a chungee girl - i could go on and on about our girls. No love marriages is the moto i have been taught...... if theres 1 thing that gna be the most important thing - its got to be this!!!!! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boostsingh Posted October 8, 2003 Report Share Posted October 8, 2003 - dnt agree with u there - this matter of "you" finding - thats not gud. Why don't you agree with love marriages? why is it so wrong with them? aslong as you and your family are happy whats the problem? My parents and myself are both happy with love and arranged marriages (aslong as the criteria is met, which I think is more important). I don't see how one is better than other - marriage is a gamble either way. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CaNaDiAn_jAtTi Posted October 9, 2003 Report Share Posted October 9, 2003 This is aimed to little sis Kaur, I understand your mindset that u don't want to make the wrong move by doing something that may be against what the Guru Ji's says and what ur parents say... However luv, it might happen to u unexpectedly, when one friend of yours, a guy obviously, becomes a little extra special compared to the rest, and it'll be completely out of the blue.... now what are you going to do to prevent it, not associate with guys at all, luv, we live in a world where we have to work with everyone around us, including guys, so there's no way out of it, and it's not a bad thing, as long as the person has the same values and similar goals as you do..... So, chill out for a bit, because neither do u, nor i nor anyone else knows who, how and why we're going to marry the person we do.... I'm 19 eh, so i'm not looking, but i know there are guys around me that would love to go out with me, and i think one's kinda in a serious mode, however, I know what i want and what my values are, therefore i know that these guys aren't for me, so I'm still friends with them and don't encourage them. But one day i have a feeling, that i'll meet someone else, as a friend, but someone who'll become my best friend and would be able to relate to me and my family.... and that's the way i think it should be.... because then it's based on something more than physical appearance or anything of that sort, but on an understanding and it'll happen out of the blue..... thas the beauty of it. My parents i know want the best for me, and it's not like they're going to bring home a bum off the street to marry me off to, but there is a generation gap between us, and my mom and i are best friends, but she doesn't realise what i think makes a good husband, and she talks about all this other stuff about families and how they should match each other, but then again, what if the individuals don't match, they're likes and dislikes...(but don't marry someone w/100% same likes as u, thas borin....)... it's hard sometimes for parents to judge our taste, because they don't stop to ask us what is important in our lives, they assume quite a bit, and it's all in best interest of us, but sometimes mistakes do occur.... and i've seen it within my family....so it's upto you how well u believe ur family knows u.... In the end it's ur choice of how u want to go around it, and u r still quite young.... but i'm just sayin Sis, that u need to relax a bit and let destiny take it's own course, cuz u neva know where u'll end up..... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sardu Posted October 9, 2003 Report Share Posted October 9, 2003 - dnt agree with u there - this matter of "you" finding - thats not gud. I tell ya straight up yeah - my mum or popz or brother or any1 elder then me who i know genuinley cares 4 me..... is like GuruJi sorting out my marriage. I have a line to write here. If a guy comes staright to you, or if ur hearts singnals for a guy , can't it be a way Guru Ji may use to sending a message. The whole point was, lets Keep every option open.. I wud neva approach a guy - possible hint to my brava.... tell him the possiblity - but just to make it aware - i wundt wana know anything or talk to him or nuttin like dat.... theres a very VERY thin line - trust me - i dont wana cross it, not even near it with a bargpole!!!! Wow!! Very well said and I truly appriciate your thinking/views here. Sardu Ji - i bleev in love yeah - but its not sumthing i want to really know about. Im 16, right now, i just want to be me, have the presence of a young lady that not married but blossoming - (hopefully 4 the better). of course for better..... Let me tell u , whatever your age is, your thoughts surely have maturity, i admire you for this. You have got a nice brain, heart and "Sanskaar(vlaues)".. Some of ur posts have reflected how genius you are.. Being older than you, Here my blessing are for you. Ive seen the false love out there - the ungenuine feelings and at one point - could have of gone the total wrong direction!!!!! love is never false.. its feelling.. feelings are geniun.. but its not easy to keep the feeling .. lack of comitment, sincerity, maturity makes it a bad experience. When it comes to marriage - ill stand my ground. I dnt agree with love marrages!! Unless my mum n dad said i have to - i wudnt even atend the actual marriage ceremony if it was a love one of other peoples.. I dont mind really when i get married, i stick to what my elders have taught me and kirpa naal, ill stay in this thought of mind. Ive never really forced my opinion on anyone and im not now... but love marriages are wrong. Just wrong pure and simple. I will never agree with them... No love marriages is the moto i have been taught...... if theres 1 thing that gna be the most important thing - its got to be this!!!!! Sounding like coming from heart ... without any argument, i respect your feelings and wish you all the best in life. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boostsingh Posted October 9, 2003 Report Share Posted October 9, 2003 Some good comments there 'Canadian Jatti' ps loving your logon name 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amrikingh Posted October 9, 2003 Report Share Posted October 9, 2003 - well Pagee - ur very funny. thanks 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K4ur Posted October 9, 2003 Report Share Posted October 9, 2003 Dearest Canadian Jatti - I porefer PENJI I know what u r saying about unexted out of the blue that if a guy popped outta nowhere.... i totally 100% understand what u saying here - and its true that might happen - but straight up, if i ever fell into a trap like the one u have described - i know truley that everything ive have ever been taught and stand for might as well go striaght dwn the bin.... Love marriages - finding a guy urself, all the gritty nitties htat go with it - i see it as false. The Sangat i keep is also one that disagrees with love marriages - so in this sense the ppl around me will help me to make the right choices and decisions and as we all ahve the same beleifs, theres less of a chance that i would ever fall into this trap.... At the end of my last post i said with GuruJis kirpa - hopefully ill stay in this thought of mind - so when u mentioned that one day my thoughts might change - this is the one thing in my life i truley dread. That my thoughts will change and ill start using my brain instead of what my elders have taught me. The one, single, and mwhat may seem simple, is the fine line 4 me.... Mahahraj's Path (Marg). I have so much beleif that love marriages are wrong. It may seem very harsh penji but really i dont like hanbging around with ppl hu bleev in luv marriages - i dont wanna know them. Again may seem harsh - but its the only way i know how to keep my elders principle pristine in tact - because Sangat makes you who u r... and effects ur thinking. Forgive me if i may seem harsh..... Sardu Ji - i am no genius.... and im nothing that you have mentioned in your last post. Sangat makes you who you are, so i ask you to keep your bleessings with this sangat - cus they shape and mould me. Its not me. I see what your saying - about if i go approaches you and its GuruJis sending the message - here i would say it not a message 4 me, but 4 the ppl who notice this is happening around me, because if it was meant 4 this guy to be my partner in life, then somehow, my parents or sum1 else would find out - and in no part of mine -wud i be the 1 to say "yo - theres a guy and i want to know if hes marriage material" if hes the one - it will in some way be him i marry on my wedding day.... it will just happen - no need 4 interferance from a young, and unworthy to chose. I dont mean this about any of you. I know it may seem quiet sad or tainted or whatever - i dont really know how this may seem to you- all i know ppl up in the sky r luking after me - and it will all get sorted - and preferably id like to go thru that stage of my life without and mix ups or untied ropes!! Until then.... im gona caryy on learning to make my rotis come out circl - cus the last one i made was the shape of italy. Fateh. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amrikingh Posted October 9, 2003 Report Share Posted October 9, 2003 k4ur its about control U can luv someone but neva luv someone too much Canadian Jatti is not sayingh that without this one luv......your gonna commit suicide for him/her But your right the only tru luv is waheguroo 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K4ur Posted October 9, 2003 Report Share Posted October 9, 2003 im not talking about love as in the emotion as by itself im talking about the process of findin a husband - where it begins with love and then marriage and finding your own partner yourself etc.... Im not talking about love within marriage singular.... im talking about the process of things.... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amrikingh Posted October 9, 2003 Report Share Posted October 9, 2003 im not talking about love as in the emotion as by itself im talking about the process of findin a husband - where it begins with love and then marriage and finding your own partner yourself etc.... Im not talking about love within marriage singular.... im talking about the process of things.... ok...... :shock: Phreshie India leh lah india tooh saathi kaar ora bija nai expire hoojavai (talking crap) 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K4ur Posted October 9, 2003 Report Share Posted October 9, 2003 okay sorry paggee im confused what u r saying...... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ideal Singh Posted October 9, 2003 Report Share Posted October 9, 2003 ok...... :shock: Phreshie India leh lah india tooh saathi kaar ora bija nai expire hoojavai (talking crap) Sir, can you please also resort to simple English alongside... coz your Punjabi writting skillz give me concussion sometimez... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K4ur Posted October 9, 2003 Report Share Posted October 9, 2003 Finallllllyyyyyy... sum1 who understands my pain..... lolzzzzzz 8) :wink: :!: 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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