Can U Adapt this

[JOYce]

His HighNess

Today, fathers will open presents of cologne, ties, golf balls, pens and books.

But Teju Srivastav is simply grateful for the simple blessing of being a part of his child's life, everyday, for 12 years.

It could have been different, as 13 years ago, his marriage crumbled and he and his wife separated. They retained joint custody. And his daughter Karuna has lived with him since she was three-years-old. Considering that he was only the third person in New Jersey to get legal and physical joint custody, it was both an achievement and relief.

"What I would like to do this Father's Day, is not focus so much on gifts and meals, but retake the pledge I took 12 years ago. This time, I will have to take advantage of the fact that now my child can understand and really appreciate that pledge, and find a way to communicate it to her, so that when my child grows up I can be proud to say 'she grew up just like me'," said Srivastav, 45, who lives and works in Piscataway, New Jersey, as a CEO of the Internet portal dakhanna.com

He immigrated to the US as a student 25 years ago from New Delhi.

He quotes, from a song by Harry Chapin, Cats and the cradle, whose opening lines go, "My child arrived just the other day, He came to the world in the usual way. But there were planes to catch, and bills to pay. He learned to walk while I was away. And he was talking 'fore I knew it, and as he grew, He'd say, "I'm gonna be like you, dad. You know I'm gonna be like you.''

Parenthood, experts say, is an acquired skill in the fast-paced, ever-changing world. And Srivastav agrees.

"Unfortunately, marriages crumble, jobs and businesses take over. Like many before me and many I am sure after me, I have been guilty of "catching planes and paying bills" and not spending as much time as I would have liked with my child. Also as the years are going by, I am beginning to realize that my daughter is growing up faster than I anticipated," Srivastav said.

Today, Srivastav says it's relatively easy to be a father.

"It was a lot of hard work when she was younger. I had to cook, clean, bathe and do everything for her. Over the years, it grew easier and easier," he said.

Narain Bhatia, CEO and president of asianmatches.com Inc and suitablematch.com estimates that of the total Indian American population -- which stands at 1,678,765 according to the 2000 census -- about six per cent marriages end in divorce.

"The main reason for divorce is the mismatch of personalities, conflict due to identity crisis, which means Indians tend to be 'eastern' in India and change to 'western' outside, and finally they have no access to proper guidance/advice, which helps them resolve conflicts," Bhatia said.

"In some marriages, people want everything; they want horoscopes to match and yet they want a modern spouse. Or they want someone from their caste and still want her to be contemporary. That's why things go wrong."

Srivastav has advice for single dads who do not have custody: "Never give up on your kids just because your ex-wife makes it difficult to see them," he said.

The biggest casualty of divorce is the child. And the children are often used as pawns in the battle between estranged spouses.

"The impact of divorce on Indian children is just as devastating on the child as in any other divorce. We work with many families and we always tell both spouses that they have to keep the interest of the child ahead of their own differences," said Dr Ravi Sarma, who lives and works in Atlanta.

An example is Ajay, who was married with two kids. He spent a decade commuting between Manhattan and his home in New Jersey everyday, putting in long hours, all days of the week. His marriage became one in name only, because his wife could not understand his need to advance in Wall Street.

However, his colleague did and a close relationship developed between them, leading him to ask his wife for a divorce. It was bitterly given. He got visitation rights.

But when he would turn up on Friday evening, she would insist he was late and refuse to allow him to see the kids. After heated arguments, one of them would call the cops to intervene. After months of this, she picked up the kids and moved to Texas. He still left early on Fridays and flew there to see his kids.

She continued to bicker about his being late.

Finally, he stopped visiting. It's been seven years since he has seen his kids.

Srivastav knows he is one of the lucky ones. And he analyses what Father's Day means to him.

"As I reflect upon this, I go back to the warm June morning 12 years ago when my daughter was born.

No amount of preparation can actually prepare you for the moment when you first hold your child in your arms. The feeling of love is so overpowering and the promises that you make to your child at that time, knowing that they are more promises to yourself," he said.

"A promise to love and cherish this tiny creature, a promise to care and provide for this tiny creature, and perhaps most important, a promise to become a role model, so that she can grow up to be a human being who is happy, content and fulfilled."

[JOYce]

Humble Sikhi - An Incedent

http://www.sikhawareness.com/sikhawareness...pic.php?p=28545

[JOYce]

Q: A little girl asked her father, "Daddy? Do all fairy tales begin with 'Once Upon A Time'?"

A: He replied, "No, there is a whole series of fairy tales that begin with 'If elected I promise'."

[Ideal Singh]

Hey Joyce isn't it a joke... rather...

[JOYce]

Oh Yeah Paji It was on the wrong way anyway forget it....I have a old story of true love

Old story of true love

A girl and a boy were on a motorcycle, speeding

through the night. They

loved each other a lot..

Girl: "slow down a little.. I'm scared.."

Boy: "No, it's so fun.."

Girl: "please..it's so scary.."

Boy: "Then say that you love me.."

Girl: "Fine..I love you..can you slow down now?"

Boy: "Give me a big hug.."

The girl gave him a big hug.

Girl: "Now can you slow down?"

Boy: "Can you take off my helmet and put it on?

It's uncomfortable and it's bothering me while i drive."

The next day, there was a story in the newspaper.

A motorcycle had crashed into a building because its brakes were broken.

There were two people on the motorcycle, of which one died, and the other

had

survived...

The guy knew that the brakes were broken. He

didn't want to let the girl know, because he knew that the girl would have

gotten scared.Instead, he was told the last time that she loved

him, got a hug from her,put his helmet on her so that she can live, and

die himself...

Once in a while, Right in the middle of an

ordinary life, Love gives us a

fairy tale...

[Ideal Singh]

Gosh!!! Dear Joyce... this story doesn't sound like a fairy tale... rather a scary tale...

[JOYce]

It is a form of Sacrifice

[Ideal Singh]

It is a form of Sacrifice

How Come ?? Its pure Stupidity... He knew that the brakes had failed even then put his beloved's live in danger for a cheap thrill... and then put his beloved into agony for rest of her life...

"Speed Thrills, but it Kills..." a neon sign I daily read on my way to home... where somebody is waiting for me...

Peace just an afterthought

Luv and Regards

Keep Posting...

[JOYce]

It is not begening when he know it but after they start riding when he counters by the fact of not working brakes.

[Ideal Singh]

Okkkkk...

Please continue...

[JOYce]

Express URself

There are times when we are timid and shy about expressing the love we feel. For fear of embarrassing the other person, or ourselves, we hesitate to say the actual words "I love you."

So we try to communicate the idea in other words.

We say 'take care' or 'don't drive too fast' or 'be good.' But really,these are just other ways of saying 'I love you, 'you are important to me,' 'I care what happens to you,' 'I don't want you to get hurt.' We are sometimes very strange people. The only thing we want to say,and the one thing that we should say, is the one thing we don't say.

And yet, because the feeling is so real, and the need to say it is so strong, we are driven to use other words and signs to say what we really mean. And many times the meaning never gets communicated at all and the other person is left feeling unloved and unwanted.

Therefore, we have to LISTEN FOR LOVE in the words that people are saying to us. Sometimes the explicit words are necessary, but more often, the manner of saying things is even more important.

A joyous insult carries more affection and love within the timents which are expressed insincerely. An impulsive hug says I LOVE U even though the words might be saying very different.

Any expression of a person's concern for another says I love you. Sometimes the expression is clumsy, sometimes even cruel.Sometimes we must look and listen very intently for the love that contains.But it is often there, beneath the surface.

A mother may nag her son constantly about his grades or cleaning his room. The son may hear only the nagging, but if he listens carefully,he will hear the love underneath the nagging. His mother wants him to do well, to be successful. Her concern and love for her son unfortunately emerge in her nagging. But it is love all the same.

A daughter comes home late, way past her curfew, and her father confronts her with angry words. The daughter may hear only the anger,but if she listens carefully, she will hear the love under the anger. "I was worried about you," the father is saying. 'Because I care about you and I love you.

You are important to me. We say I love you in many ways-with birthday gifts, and little notes, with smiles and sometimes with tears. Sometimes we show our love by just keeping quiet and not saying a word, at other times by speaking out, even brusquely. We show our love sometimes by impulsiveness.

Many times we have to show our love by forgiving someone who has not listened to the love we have tried to express. The problem is listening for love is that we don't always understand the language oflove which the other person is using. A girl may use tears or emotions to say what she wants to say,and her boyfriend may not understand her because he expects her to be talking his language. Thus, we have to force ourselves to really listen for love.

The problem with our world is that people rarely listen to each other.They hear the words, but they don't listen to the actions that accompany the words or the expression on the face. Or people listen only for rejection or misunderstanding. They do not see the love that is there just beneath the surface, even if the words are angry. We have to listen for love in those around us. If we listen intently we will discover that we are a lot more loved than we realize. Listen for love and we will find that the world is a very loving place after all.

LOVE is a happy thing. It makes us laugh. It makes us sing. It makes us sad. It makes us cry. It makes us seek the reason why.

It makes us take. It makes us give.

Above all else it makes us LIVE.

It is not the presence or absence of people that makes the difference because a person need not be lonely even if he is alone.Sometimes it is good to be alone. But that does not make us lonely. It is not a matter of being present WITH someone. It is a matter of being present TO someone. So remember...

If you love someone, tell them. Remember always to say what you mean.Never be afraid to express yourself. Take this opportunity to tell someone what they mean to you. Seize the day and have no regrets. Most importantly, stay close to your friends and family,for they have helped make you the person that you are today and are what it's all about anyway. Pass this along to your friends. Let it make a difference in your day and theirs. The difference between expressing love and having regrets is that the regrets may stay around.

[Ideal Singh]

"I LOVE YOU" dear JOYce Paaji...

[JOYce]

Thank zoo Big B

[JOYce]

10 RULES OF LIFE

1. If your life is a mess, it is your responsibility to take the necessary actions to clean it up.

2. The greatest gifts a person can have are love of God, family, and friends. Nothing else compares!

3. True friends see your faults and imperfections, but still develop the friendship!

4. You are not responsible for how other people treat you. You are only responsible for your reaction!

5. Think for yourself, or people will try to push their thoughts into your head. You never want that to happen. What a dull place the world would be if everyone thought the same.

6. You may be right and you may be wrong, but make The Decision!

7. Do what you love, be skilled at it and money will follow! This is SO TRUE!

8. Life is meant to be exciting; so have fun!

9. Self-Mastery is difficult, but well worth the effort!

10. Give what you have to others freely, without seeking a reward and good things will happen to you.

BONUS: All men fall at some point, but GREAT Men get back up again!

[JOYce]

Some lessons to learn from ordinary people like us but have suceeded to be successful with determination.

Success Stories

In 1962, four nervous young musicians played their

first record audition for the executives of the Decca recording Company. The executives were not impressed. While turning down this group of musicians, one executive said, "We don't like their

sound. Groups of guitars are on the way out."

The group was called The Beatles.

======================================================

In 1944, Emmeline Snively, director of the Blue Book Modeling Agency told modeling hopeful Norma Jean Baker, "You'd better learn secretarial work or else get married.

She went on and became Marilyn Monroe.

======================================================

In 1954, Jimmy Denny, manager of the Grand Ole

Opry,Fired a singer after one performance. He told him, "You ain't goin'nowhere....son. You ought to go back to drivin' a truck."

He went on to become Elvis Presley.

======================================================

When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone in 1876, it did not ring off the hook with calls from potential backers. After making a demonstration call, President Rutherford Hayes said, "That's an amazing invention, but who would ever want to see one of them?"

======================================================

When Thomas Edison invented the light bulb, he tried over 2000 experiments before he got it to work. A young reporter asked him how it felt to fail so many times. He said, "I never failed once. I invented the light bulb. It just happened to be a 2000-step process."

======================================================

In the 1940s, another young inventor named Chester Carlson took his idea to 20 Corporations, including some of the biggest in the country. They all turned him down. In 1947 after seven long years of rejections! He finally got a tiny company in

Rochester, New York, the Haloid company, to

purchase the rights to his invention -- an electrostatic paper-copying process.

Haloid became Xerox Corporation.

======================================================

A little girl - the 20th of 22 children, was born prematurely and her survival was doubtful. When she was 4 years old, she contracted double pneumonia and scarlet fever, which left her with a paralyzed left leg. At age 9, she removed the metal leg brace she had been dependent on and began to walk without it. By 13 she had developed a rhythmic walk, which doctors said was a miracle.

That same year she decided to become a runner. She entered a race and came in last. For the next few years every race she entered, she came in last. Everyone told her to quit, but she kept on running.

One day she actually won a race. And then another. From then on she won every race she entered.

Eventually this little girl - Wilma Rudolph, went on to win three Olympic gold medals.

=======================================================

A school teacher scolded a boy for not paying attention to his mathematics and for not being able to solve simple problems. She told him that you would not become anybody in life.

The boy went on to become Albert Einstein.

A candidate for a news broadcasters post was rejected by officials since his Voice was not fit for a news broadcaster.

He was also told that with his obnoxiously long name, he would never be famous.

He is Amitabh Bachchan.

=======================================================

A small boy - the fifth amongst seven siblings of a

poor father, was selling newspapers in a small village to earn his living. He was not exceptionally smart at school but was fascinated by religion and rockets.

The first rocket he built crashed. A missile that he built crashed multiple times and he was made a butt of ridicule. He is the person to have scripted the Space Odyssey of India single-handedly

He is Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam.

======================================================

[JOYce]

A must read.........inspirational to the core..take time in between the

meetings to read this.....may be long , but worth reading.

Intresting facts from Diary of Sudha w/o Narayana Murthy(Chairman Infosys Ltd.)

**************************************************

Initially, I would do my work with no interaction with the men. Then I

learnt

their language as half the battle is won when you can speak the adversary's

language.They began letting me step into their space. My stint at the shop

floor has been a boon because today I have a greater cross reference of

mechanical industry than Murty. I worked in Jamshedpur and in Bihar too.

WHEN NARAYAN MURTY PROPOSED TO ME HE SAID, SUDHA I WILL NEVER BE RICH IN MY

LIFE. I CAN NEVER GIVE YOU THE RICHES THAT MONEY CAN BUY. WILL YOU MARRY

ME? ..

It was in Pune that I met Narayan Murty through my friend Prasanna who is

now

the Wipro chief, who was also training in Telco. Most of the books that

Prasanna lent me had Murty's name on them Which meant that I had a

preconceived image of the man. Contrary to expectation, Murty was shy,

bespectacled and an introvert.When he invited us for dinner. I was a bit

taken

aback as I thought the young man was making a very fast move. I refused

since

I was the only girl in the group. But Murty was relentless and we all

decided

to meet for dinner the next day at 7.30 p.m at Green Fields hotel on the

Main

Road, Pune.

The next day I went there at 7 o clock since I had to go to the tailor near

the hotel. And what do I see? Mr Murty waiting in front of the hotel and it

was

only seven. Till today, Murty maintains that I had mentioned

(consciously!) that I would be going to the tailor at 7 so that I could

meet

him. And I maintain that I did not say any such thing

consciously or unconsciously because I did not think of Murty as anything

other than a friend at that stage. We have agreed to disagree on this

matter.

Soon, we became friends. Our conversations were filled with Murty's

experiences abroad and the books that he has read. My friends insisted that

Murty was trying to impress me because he was interested in me. I kept

denying

it

till one fine day, after dinner Murty said, I want to tell you something. I

knew this was it. It was coming. He said, I am 5'4"

tall. I come from a lower middle class family. I can never become rich in

my

life and I can never give you any riches. You are beautiful, bright,

intelligent and you can get anyone you want. But will you marry me? I

asked

Murty to give me some time for an answer. My father didn't want me to

marry a

wannabe politician, (a communist at that) who didn't have a steady job and

wanted to

buildan Orphanage...

When I went to Hubli I told my parents about Murty and his proposal. My

mother

was positive since Murty was also from karnataka, seemed intelligent and

comes

from a good family. But my father asked: What's his job, his salary, his

qualifications etc? Murty was working as a research assistant and was

earning

less than me. He was willing to go dutch with me on our outings. My parents

agreed to meet Murty in Pune on a particular day at 10 am sharp. Murty did

not

turn up. How can I trust a man to take care of my daughter if he cannot

keep an

appointment, asked my father. At 12 noon Murty turned up in a bright red

shirt!

He had gone on work to Bombay, was stuck in a traffic jam on the ghats, so

he

hired a taxi (though it was very expensive for him) to meet his would-be

father-in-law. My father was unimpressed. My father asked him what he

wanted to

become in life. Murty

said he wanted to become a politician in the communist party and wanted to

open an orphanage. My father gave his verdict. No. I don't want my daughter

to

marry somebody who wants to become a communist and then open an orphanage

when

he himself

didn't have money to support his family. Ironically, today, I have opened

many

orphanages something which Murty wanted to do 25

years ago.

By this time I realized I had developed a liking towards Murty which could

only be termed as love. I wanted to marry Murty because he is an honest

man. He

proposed to me highlighting the negatives in his life. I promised my father

that I will not marry Murty without his blessings though at the same time,

I

cannot marry anybody else. My father said he would agree if Murty promised

to

take up a steady job. But Murty refused saying he will not do things in

life

because somebody wanted him to. So, I

was caught between the two most important people in my life.

The stalemate continued for three years during which our courtship took us

to

every restaurant and cinema hall in Pune. In those days, Murty was always

broke.Moreover, he didn't earn much to manage. Ironically today, he manages

Infosys Technologies Ltd one of the world's most reputed companies. He

always

owed me money. We used to go for dinner and he would say, I don't have

money

with me, you pay my share, I will return it to you later. For three years I

maintained a book on Murty's debt to me. No, he never returned the money

and I

finally tore it up after my wedding.The amount was a little over Rs 4000.

During this interim period Murty quit his job as research assistant and

started his own software business. Now, I had to pay his salary too!

Towards

the late 70s computers were entering India in a big way. During the fag

end of

1977 Murty decided to take up a job as General Manager at Patni Computers

in

Bombay. But before he joined the company he wanted to marry me since he

was to

go on training to the US after joining. My father gave in as he was happy

Murty had a decent job,now. WE WERE MARRIED IN MURTY'S HOUSE IN BANGALORE

ON

FEBRUARY 10, 1978 WITH ONLY OUR TWO FAMILIES PRESENT. I GOT MY FIRST SILK

SARI. THE WEDDING EXPENSES CAME TO ONLY RS 800 (US $ 17) WITH

MURTY AND I POOLING IN RS 400 EACH.

I went to the US with Murty after marriage. Murty encouraged me to see

America

on my own because I loved travelling. I toured America for three months on

backpack and had interesting experiences which will remain fresh in my mind

forever. Like the time when I was taken into custody by the New York police

because they thought I was an Italian trafficking drugs in Harlem. Or the

time

when I spent the night at the bottom of the Grand Canyon with an old

couple.

Murty panicked because he couldn't get a response from my hotel room even

at

midnight. He thought I was either killed or kidnapped.

IN 1981 MURTY WANTED TO START INFOSYS. HE HAD A VISION AND ZERO CAPITAL...

initially I was very apprehensive about Murty getting into business. We did

not

have any business background. Moreover we were living a comfortable life in

Bombay with a regular pay check and I didn't want to rock the boat. But

Murty

was passionate about creating good quality software. I decided to support

him.

Typical of Murty, he just had a dream and no money. So I gave him Rs 10,000

which I had saved for a rainy day,without his knowledge and told him, This

is

all I have. Take it. I give you three years sabbatical leave. I will take

care

of the financial needs of our house. You go and chase your dreams without

any

worry.But you have only three years!.

Murty and his six colleagues started Infosys in 1981, with enormous

interest

and hard work. In 1982 I left Telco and moved to Pune with Murty. We bought

a

small house on loan which also became the Infosys office. I was

clerk-cum-cook-cum-programmer. I also took up a job as Senior Systems

Analyst

with Walchand group of Industries to support the house. In 1983 Infosys got

their first client, MICO, in Bangalore.Murty moved to Bangalore and stayed

with

his mother while I went to Hubli to deliver my second child, Rohan.Ten days

after my son was born,Murty left for the US on project work. I saw him only

after a year as I was unable to join Murty in the US because my son had

infantile eczema,an allergy to vaccinations. So for more than a ear I did

not

step outside our home for fear of my son contracting an infection. It was

only

after Rohan got all his vaccinations that I came to rented a small house in

Jayanagar and rented another house as Infosys headquarters. My father

presented

Murty a scooter to commute.

I once again became a cook, programmer, clerk, secretary, office assistant

Nandan Nilekani (MD of Infosys) and his wife Rohini stayed with us. While

Rohini baby sat my son, I wrote programmes for Infosys. There was no car,

no

phone, just two kids and a bunch of us working hard, juggling our lives

and

having fun while Infosys was taking shape.It was not only me but the wives

of

other partners too who gave their unstinted support. We all knew that our

men

were trying to build something good. It was like a big joint family,

taking

care and looking out for one another. I still remember Sudha palakrishna

looking after my daughter Akshata with all care and love while Kumari

Shibulal

cooked for all of us. Murty made it very clear that it would either be me

or

him working at Infosys. Never the two of us together... I was involved

with

Infosys initially. Nandan Nilekani suggested I should be on the Board but

Murty said he did not want a husband and wife team at Infosys. I was

shocked

since I had the relevant experience and technical qualifications. He said,

Sudha if you want to work with Infosys, I will withdraw, happily. I was

pained

to know that I will not be involved in the company my husband was building

and

that I would have to give up a job that I am qualified to do and love

doing.

It took me a couple of days to grasp the reason behind Murty's request.

I realised that to make Infosys a success one had to give one's 100

percent.

One had to be focussed on it alone with no other distractions. If the two

of us

had to give 100 percent to Infosys then what would happen to

our home and our children? One of us had to take care of our home while the

other took care of Infosys. I opted to be a homemaker, after all Infosys

was

Murty's dream. It was a big sacrifice but it was one that had to be made.

Even

today, Murty says, Sudha, I stepped on your career to make mine.You are

responsible for my success. I might have given up my career for my

husband's

sake. But that does not make me a doormat... Many think that I have been

made

the sacrificial lamb at Narayan Murty's altar of success. A few women

journalists have even accused me of setting a wrong example by giving up my

dreams to make my husbands a reality. Isn't freedom about living your life

the

way you want it? What is right for one person might be wrong for another.

It is

up to the individual to make a choice that is effective in her life. I feel

that when a woman gives up her right to choose for herself is when she

crosses

over from being an individual to adoormat. Murty's dreams ncompassed not

only

himself but a generation of people. It was about founding something

worthy,

exemplary and honorable. It was about creation and distribution of wealth.

His

dreams were grander than my career plans, in all aspects. So, when I had

to

choose between Murty's career and mine, I opted for what I thought was a

right

choice. We had a home and two little children. Measles, mumps, fractures,

PTAmeetings, wants and needs of growing children do not care much for

grandiose dreams. They just needed to be attended to. Somebody had to take

care

of it all. Somebody had to stay back to create a home base that would be

fertile for healthy growth, happiness, and more dreams to dream.I became

that

somebody willingly.

I can confidently say that if I had had a dream like Infosys, Murty would

have

given me his constant support.The roles would have been reversed.We are not

bound by the archaic rules of marriage. I cook for him but I don't wait up

to

serve dinner like a traditional wife. So, he has no hassles about heating

up

the food and having his dinner.He does not intrude into my time especially

when I am writing my novels. He does not interfere in my work at the

Infosys

Foundation and I don't interfere with the running of Infosys. I teach

Computer

Science to MBA and MCA students at Christ college for a few hours every

week

and I earn around Rs 50,000 a year. I value this financial independence

greatly though there is no need for me to pursue a teaching career. Murty

respects that. I travel all over the world without Murty because he hates

travelling. We trust each other implicitly. We have another understanding

too.

While he earns the money, I spend it,mostly through the

charity.Philanthropy

is a profession and an art... The Infosys Foundation was born in 1997 with

the

sole objective of uplifting the less-privileged sections of society. IN THE

PAST THREE YEARS WE HAVE BUILT HOSPITALS,ORPHANAGES, REHABILITATION

CENTRES,

SCHOOL BUILDINGS, SCIENCE CENTRES AND MORE THAN 3500 LIBRARIES. Our work

is

mainly in the rural areas amongst women and children. I am one of the

trustees

and our activities span six states including Karnataka, Tamil Nadu,

Andhra,

Orissa, Chandigarh and Maharashtra. I travel to around 800 villages

constantly. Infosys Foundation has aminimal staff of three trustees and

three

office members. We all work very hard to achieve our goals and that is the

reason why Infosys Foundation has a distinct identity. Every year we

donate

around Rs 5-6 crore (Rs 50 - 60 million). We run Infosys Foundation the

way

Murty runsInfosys in a professional and scientific way. Philanthropy is a

profession and an art. It can be used or misused. We slowly want to

increase

the donations and we dream of a time when Infosys Foundation could donate

large amounts of money. Every year we receive more than 10,000

applications

for donations. Everyday I receive more than 120 calls. Amongst these,

there

are those who genuinely need help and there are hood winkers too. I

receive

letters asking me to donate Rs five lakh to someone because five lakh is,

like

peanuts to Infosys. Some people write to us asking for free Infosys

shares.

Over the years I have learnt to differentiate the wheat from thechaff,

though

I still give a patient hearing to all the cases. Sometimes I feel I have

lost

the ability to trust people. I have become shrewder to avoid being conned.

It

saddens me to realise that even as a person is talking to me I try to

analyse

them: Has he come here for any donation? Why is he praising my work or

enquiring about my health, does he want some money from me? Eight out of

ten

times I am right. They do want my money. But I feel bad for the other two

whom

I suspected. I think that is the price that I have to pay for the position

that I am in now. The greatest difficulty in having money is teaching your

children the value of it and trying to keep them on a straight line...

Bringing up children in a moneyed atmosphere is a difficult task. EVEN

TODAY I

THINK TWICE IF I HAVE TO SPEND RS 10 ON AN AUTO WHEN I CAN WALK UP TO MY

HOUSE. I cannot expect my children to do the same. They have seen money

from

the time they were born. But we can lead by example. When they see Murty

wash

his own plate after eating and clean the two toilets in the house everyday

they realise that no work is demeaning irrespective of how rich you are. I

DON'T HAVE A MAID AT HOME BECAUSE I DON'T SEE THE NEED FOR ONE. When

children

see both parents working hard, living a simple life, most of the time they

tend to follow. This doesn't mean we expect our children to live an

austere

life. My children buy what they want and go where they want but they have

to

follow certain rules. They will haveto show me a bill for whatever they

buy.

My daughter can buy five new outfits but she has to give away five old

ones.

My son can go out with his friends for lunch or dinner but if he wants to

go

to a five star hotel, we discourage it.Or we accompany him. So far my

children

haven't given me any heartbreak. They are good children. My eldest

daughter is

studying abroad,whereas my son is studying in Bangalore. They don't use

their

father's name in vain. If asked, they only say that his name is Murty and

that

he works for Infosys. They don't want to be recognised and I appreciated

because of their father or me but for themselves.

I DON'T FEEL GUILTY ABOUT HAVING MONEY FOR WE HAVE WORKED HARD FOR IT. BUT

I

DON'T FEEL COMFORTABLE FLAUNTING IT ...IT IS A CONSCIOUS DECISION

ON OUR PART TO LIVE A SIMPLE, SO-CALLED MIDDLE CLASS LIFE. WE LIVE IN THE

SAME

TWO-BEDROOM, SPARSELY FURNISHED HOUSE BEFORE INFOSYS BECAME A SUCCESS. Our

only extravagance is buying books and CDs. MY

HOUSE HAS NO LOCKERS FOR I HAVE NO JEWELS. I WEAR A STONE EARRING WHICH I

BOUGHT IN BOMBAY FOR RS 100 I don't even wear my mangalsutra until I attend

some family functions or I am with my mother-in-law. I am not fond of

jewellery or saris. Five years ago, I went to Kashi where tradition

demands

that you give up something and I gave up shopping. Since then I haven't

bought

myself a sari or gone shopping. It is my friends who gift me with saris.

Murty

bought me a sari a long time ago. It was not to my taste and I told him to

refrain from buying saris for me in the future. I am no good at selecting

men's clothes either. It is my daughter who does the shopping for us. I

still

have the same sofa at home which my daughter wants to change. However, we

have

indulged ourselves with each one having their own music system and

computer.I

don't carry a purse and neither does Murty most of the time. I do tell

him to

keep some small change with him but he doesn't. I borrow money from my

secretary or my driver if I need cash. They know my habit so they always

carry

extra cash with them. But I settle the accounts every evening. MURTY AND I

ARE

VERY COMFORTABLE WITH OUR LIFESTYLE AND WE DON'T SEE THE NEED TO CHANGE IT

NOW

THAT WE HAVE MONEY. Murty and I are two opposites that complement each

other... Murty is sensitive and romantic in his own way.

He always gifts me books addressed to From Me to You. Or to the person I

most

admire etc. We both love books. We are both complete opposites. I am an

extrovert and he is an introvert. I love watching movies and listening to

classical music. Murty loves listening to English classical music. I go

out

for movies with my students and secretary every other week. I am still

young

at heart. I really enjoyed watching "Kaho Na Pyaar Hai" and I am a Hrithik

Roshan fan. It has been more than 20 years since Murty and I went for a

movie.

My daughter once gave us a surprise by booking tickets for "Titanic".

Since I

had a prior engagement that day, Murty went for the movie with his

secretary

Pandu.

I love travelling hereas Murty loves spending time at home. Friends come

and

go with the share prices... Even in my dreams, I did not expect Infosys to

grow

like the way it has. I don't think even Murty envisioned this phenomenal

success, at least not in 1981. After Infosys went public in 1993, we became

what people would call as rich, moneyed people. I was shocked to see what

was

happening to Infosys and to us. Suddenly you see and hear about so much

money.

Your name and photo is splashed in the papers. People talk about you. It

was

all new to me. SUDDENLY I HAVE PEOPLE WALKING

UP TO ME SAYING, OH, WE WERE SUCH GOOD FRIENDS, WE HAD A MEAL 25 YEARS AGO.

THEY CLAIM TO HAVE BEEN PRESENT AT OUR WEDDING (WHICH IS AN UTTER LIE

BECAUSE

ONLY MY FAMILY WAS PRESENT AT MY WEDDING). I DON'T EVEN KNOW ALL THESE

PEOPLE

WHO CLAIM TO KNOW MURTY AND ME SO WELL. But that doesn't mean I don't have

true friends. I do have genuine friends, a handful, who have been with me

for

a very long time. My equation with these people has not changed and vice

versa. I am also very close to Narayan Murty's family, especially my

sister-in-law KamalaMurty, a school teacher, who is more of a dear friend

to

me. I have discovered that these are the few relationships and friendships

that don't fluctuate

depending on the price of Infosys shares. Have I lost my identity as a

woman,

in Murty's shadow?... No. I might be Mrs Narayan Murty. I might be Akshata

and

Rohan's mother. I might be the trustee of Infosys Foundation. But I am

still

Sudha. I play different roles like all women. That doesn't mean we don't

have

our own identity. Women have that extra quality of adaptability and learn

to

fit into different shoes. But we are our own selves still. And we have to

extract our reedom by making the right choices in our lives dictated by us

and

not by the world.

[JOYce]

Can U tolerate things like this near U ..... I cant

:?:

[JOYce]

Can U tolerate things like this near U ..... I cant

:?:

[JOYce]

Don’t be scared of the obstacles in your path , they are a chance given to you to become better , more strong and confident in life . Let us take a lesson from this short narration,

THE OBSTACLE IN OUR PATH

In ancient times, a king had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the king's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it.

Many loudly blamed the king for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the big stone out of the way. Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. On approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. As the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the king indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The peasant learned what many others never understand.

Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve one's condition.

[JOYce]

Worth of Happiness n suffering

There once was a man who suffered diligently all his life so as buy a single moment of pure happiness. One day he packed up all of his suffering into a big heavy bag, slung it over his shoulder, and headed to market. When he tried to trade in his suffering, he was told there is no exchange rate between suffering and happiness. In other words, suffering cannot buy happiness....

Lets think about it...

[JOYce]

Happy people plan actions, they don’t plan results.

Dennis Wholey TV talk show host

[JOYce]

The Splashes of Life

My grandfather took me to the fish pond on the farm when I was about seven, and he told me to throw a stone into the water. He told me to watch the circles created by the stone. Then he asked me to think of myself as that stone person. "You may create lots of splashes in your life but the waves that come from those splashes will disturb the peace of all your fellow creatures," he said. "Remember that you are responsible for what you put in your circle and that circle will also touch many other circles. You will need to live in a way that allows the good that comes from your circle to send the peace of that goodness to others. The splash that comes from anger or jealousy will send those feelings to other circles. You are responsible for both." That was the first time I realized each person creates the inner peace or discord that flows out into the world. We cannot create world peace if we are riddled with inner conflict, hatred, doubt, or anger. We radiate the feelings and thoughts that we hold inside, whether we speak them or not. Whatever is splashing around inside of us is spilling out into the world, creating beauty or discord with all other circles of life. Remember the eternal wisdom: WHATEVER YOU FOCUS ON EXPANDS... Author Unknown

[JOYce]

Creation is a better means of self-ex-pression than possession; it is through creating, not possessing, that life is revealed.

Vida D. Scudder (1861-1954) Social activist and educator

[JOYce]

MESSAGE FROM NATURE

Take a look at an apple tree.

There might be five hundred apples on the tree, but

each apple has just ten seeds. That's a lot of seeds!

We might ask, "Why would you need so many seeds to

grow just a few more apple trees?"

Nature has something to teach us here. It's telling

us: "Not all seeds grow.

In life, most seeds never grow. So if you really want

to make something happen, you had better try more than

once."

This might mean:

You'll attend twenty interviews to get one job.

You'll interview forty people to find one good

employee.

You'll talk to fifty people to sell one house, one

car, one vacuum cleaner, one insurance policy, or a

business idea.

And you might meet a hundred acquaintances just to

find one special friend.

When we understand the "Law of the Seed", we don't get

so disappointed.

We stop feeling like victims.

We learn how to deal with things that happen to us.

Laws of nature are not things to take personally. We

just need to understand them - and work with them.

Successful people fail more often. But they plant more

seeds. When Things Are Beyond your control, here's

something that you must NOT DO so as to avoid misery

in your life:

You must not decide how you think the world SHOULD be.

You must not make rules for how everyone SHOULD

behave.

When the world doesn't obey your rules, you get angry!

That's what miserable people do!

On the other hand, let's say you expect that:

Friends SHOULD return favours.

People SHOULD appreciate you.

Planes SHOULD arrive on time.

Everyone SHOULD be honest.

Your best friend SHOULD remember your birthday.

These expectations may sound reasonable. But often,

these things won't

happen! So you end up frustrated and disappointed.

There's a better strategy. Demand less, and instead,

have preferences.

For things that are beyond your control, tell

yourself:

"I WOULD PREFER "A", BUT IF "B" HAPPENS, IT'S OK TOO!"

This is really a change in mindset. It is a shift in

attitude, and it

gives you more peace of mind ..

You prefer that people are polite ... but when they

are rude, it

doesn't ruin your day.

You prefer sunshine ... but if it rains, it is ok too!

To become happier, we either need to

Change the world, or

Change our thinking.

It is easier to change our Thinking!

It is not the problem that is the issue, but rather it

is your attitude

attending to the problem that is the problem.

It's not what happens to you that determine your

happiness. It's how you

think about what happens to you....

[JOYce]

Troble Tree

I hired a plumber to help me restore an old farmhouse, and after he had just finished a rough first day on the job, a flat tire made him lose an hour of work & his electric drill quit, his ancient one ton truck refused to start. As I drove him home, he sat in stony silence.

On arriving he invited me in to meet his family. As we walked toward the front door, he paused briefly at a small tree, touching the tips of the branches with both hands. Upon opening the door he had undergone an amazing transformation. His tanned face was wreathed in smiles and he hugged his two small children and gave his wife a kiss.

Afterward he walked me to the car. We passed the tree and my curiosity got the better of me. I asked him about what I had seen him do at the little tree.

"Oh, that's my trouble tree," he replied. "I know I can't help having troubles on the job, but one thing's for sure, those troubles don't belong in the house with my wife and the children. So I just hang them up on the tree every night when I come home and ask God to take care of them. Then in the morning I pick them up again." Funny thing is," he smiled, "when I come out in the morning to pick them up, there aren't nearly as many as I remember hanging up the night before."

Thus ,let us learn something from the plumbers life…… his example is teaching us to leave our office and work tensions outside our homes and just carry happiness with us inside our homes , so that we and the people around us can always be in high spirits .