Guest Posted May 5, 2003 Report Share Posted May 5, 2003 If you are enrolled in the spirtual school(took amrit) then you want to pass all the grades step by stemp.. its is important that shouldnt date since that will break the concentration of the path you are goin..you have to keep it balanced if you are willing to have dates... make sure you its vaheguroo first than anything else...specially attachement and lust.. make sure you put those secondary and vaheguroo's naam on primary i hope that helps Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jassa Posted May 5, 2003 Report Share Posted May 5, 2003 lol u knw wat...its taken me about 10 different posts to sum up wat k4ur sed in that 1 post!! sewak read that post!!! carefully!!! u cud learn ALOT from it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sevak Posted May 5, 2003 Report Share Posted May 5, 2003 im not just saying this...ive dun my fair share of wrong things and the one thing that i realised at the end of it is that we should try to avoid situations whereby kaam will attack us... That is why Guru ji told us to marry so that we dont fall from moral grounds ! That is why Guru Ji told us to keep good sangat...so we are not led astray...that is why its not good when sikhs are seen at a club... Your wife can also be a good sangat and so can your girlfriend if she is a devotee and has the same itnerests like you. I dont goto club and not all relationships have to do with dating.clubbing and sexing ! LOL if you have the ability to put these 5 chorhs, who are infinitely clever, at the back of your mind than all i can say is that i envy you. Thats real bad. You shouldnt envy anyone ! Saints are born in the world and tommorrow they will die, why should one envy anyone? they repeat His Name and whatever duty they are to do in this world they do it and they die repeating his name. Sikhism is not about competition over who is better and who is not. A Sikhs concern should only be with God and Guru and other things like "envy" should be set aside. YOu are not here to show yourself off ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sevak Posted May 5, 2003 Report Share Posted May 5, 2003 Kaur, I dont goto clubs and pubs. The problem with most posters here is that they are of more of american backgrounds so they keep mixing lust with and having a girlfriend. Again, ifyou truly and truly love someone then there will be NO LUST !! and if there is lust then that means there is something is wrong ! Yes ofcourse GuruJi is the best guide to selecting a wife for us .. that is why we should surrender ourselves to the Guru ! The rest is upto each and every individual. Who is wrong and who is right.. only Raam knows ! No other human knows you better than you yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amrikingh Posted May 6, 2003 Report Share Posted May 6, 2003 I think having a girlfriend/boyfriend is not against Sikhism I think it'z more of a punjabi culture thing But going into a relationship with someone, is at your own risk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A_Singh_but_cant_Sing Posted May 6, 2003 Report Share Posted May 6, 2003 Dating is not allowed in sikhi, I think. Look at it in this way, if you believe that you going through this circle of life to attain mukti. If you were a human in your past life, there must have been a family. You were not able to attain mukti in that life and was given another chance in this life. Lets say that you decide to date and go out. How certain are you that the person you are dating is not your sister, mother, aunty or etc and vice versa from a female perspective. The friends, family and people that you have met in this life, will meet again in the next. But one might argue about the partner you choose to marry. Isn't he/she your family? Guru ji has already selected a partner and he/she would be the one you will marry. That is sanjog.( this is what I believe). Must have heard ppl say " jithe likhiaa otheii hona" ( pardon me for the poor punjabi). Why I started to believe this? It is when I heard the story of how the mughals tried to tempt Hari Singh Nehlwa to loose his dharam. If you are waiting for that story...can someone help with it.....I am really lazy and wont be able to type that much.......I am tired already by writing this much :roll: For this topic, I think it is a person thing. If you want to progress further in sikhi, would you want to waste any time of the little we have?? It is up to you....but just remember. This janam is like a diamond,very precious so dont loose it. To get a definite answer , ask Guru ji! :wink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sevak Posted May 6, 2003 Report Share Posted May 6, 2003 if you believe that you going through this circle of life to attain mukti If you are still hankering after mukti you are not going to get it. It is about selfless prem and not about mukti. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jassa Posted May 7, 2003 Report Share Posted May 7, 2003 ok dis isnt gonna b resolved... now we got amrik singh sayin that its ok... ok amrik singh wat is your justification for sikhs being allowed to date... ive shown you mine...and others have shown u theirs... but so far i havnt seen one line of gurbani even half saying that it would be ok to date... amrik singh are you saying that your views are correct over the views of alot of sants and mahapurash's.... my uncle spent alot of time with sant ishar singh ji's dera....and it wasnt even accepted for the boys to be talking to the girls too much!! i mean i dont follow that....becuase to live and work you have to communicate with people.... but im just showing you an example... if they thought it wrong for us to even socialise together too much (because of the weakness of our minds) then who are we to say that DATING is correct!? and amrik singh paaji...i dont mean to sound rude here...nor do i intend to sound like i am better than you or nething because i am the lowest of the low... but you yourself have admitted in previous posts that you are not yet strong willed enough to give up meat.... if you cannot fulfill such a simple task, how do you expect to keep kaam under control which is a million times more powerful! i knw this has cum out wrong and i dont want to sound like a preacher... all im saying is that we each have our faults...you may have yours...only Guru Ji is perfect... so if we cannot even do the simple things...or that our mind is not strong enough to conquer small issues...how can you possible think that dating is ok, where you will have to conquer kaam?? doesnt make sense to me im really sorry if you feel that im being overly critical... its just that i know that sum young person who is in doubts already about issues such as these will come on here and read your messages and get the wrong idea...cz really we're not allowed to date...you know it inside...you wont admit it but you know it.... sewak and amrik put it this way... cud you picture any sant....or perhaps more to the point, Guru ji having a girlfriend...thought not. well sewak i know will disagree coz he'll give his usual line of sikhi being a fruit, which i dont always agree with... but all i know is that our life should try and mirror Guru Ji....we should be pure at heart....havin a girlfriend would only be caused by sumthing lacking in us... and sewak paaji ive asked you so many times for this... answer me this 1 question!! You said that it wouldnt matter if we committed kaam...and that Guru Ji wouldnt mind...where did you get that??? thats quite worrying to me a sikh would say that...does the rest of the sangat feel that way?!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KAAL Posted May 7, 2003 Report Share Posted May 7, 2003 we are on page 4 now and i think on page 3 it was mentioned that it isnt goin to get resolved and that everyone is goin to stick to their guns. look at the end of the day it is your personal opinion on the matter, just ask guru jee if you get put in that situation. Just go with what mahraaj says. On here you are just goin to get some1 saying yes and then some1 saying no, in reality you cant giv quotes either way, and it comes down to that it is your personal opinion, or it is this sant or that sants opinion, rember ur relationship with vaheguru and it is a personal 1, look at things logically, and if it makes sense then it is usally right, remba sikhi is about logic and sense, u r a learner, u will gain knowledge i think on this perticualar topic it has been dead and buried and dug up again and now being dead and buried! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jassa Posted May 7, 2003 Report Share Posted May 7, 2003 tru....nah point in dis... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K4ur Posted May 7, 2003 Report Share Posted May 7, 2003 okay pagee how is this. i have come from a background where my friends date etc... i know this might sound as if i am lecturing u. i am not. The path of Guru Ji is sharper than a sword and thinner than a knifes edge. i learnt that today (yipee...! - luv it wen u hear stuff like dat) Experiances of my past have told me dating is wrong. If ppl start saying it is okay 2 date.... i duno wot if it was ur blood sister or brother?????????? Ppl r quick to take advantage. Sikhi already (from wot i know) has a bad name. or atleast it dus where i come from. Just remember ... wot dus ur Kachere symbolise??? I know wot u sayin about lust n stuff... but if ur mind is on ur gal... and not on GUuruJi... then isnt that wrong. All your luv shud b 4 ur GuruJi or ur parents. I am not saying that i am any better. Bcus im not. But this is one of the 1st things ma bro sed 2 me wen he told me about Sikhi. He was very strict about it.... i duno if this helps at all, but i wish u the best. GuruJ will show u ur answers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KAAL Posted May 7, 2003 Report Share Posted May 7, 2003 My sister isnt into sikhi, nor does she care, all she knows is her mates, college, music fasion, etc. No matter what i say to her about me going to kill they guy whoever tries it on with her, or if she goes out with anyone she gunna b dead, she will do what ever she wants to. Its taken me a long time but i have come to the conclusion that if she did ever date anyone i would rather have known about it then it going on behind my back. Obvioulsy i would have a few things to say about it, but realistically i cant do anything about it. (Believe it or not that is a very hard thing for any brother to say, especially on a forum, it was even harder coming to this relisation in the first place). All i can say to her is that i am here for her and that i will help her in any way. ok now think of it this way, u cant b with this gyal, cause u think its wrong, u telling me that you r guna stop thinking about her? now say you get with this gyal, you are as happy as can be, this is the gyal for you, the 1 you are goin to marry, your mind is at ease you are happy, you can allow your mind to settle and think about wateva you want, i.r paat pooja. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K4ur Posted May 7, 2003 Report Share Posted May 7, 2003 Maybe that feeeeeld right. but i think wen it comes to Sikhi... no. BEFORE u get married u r suppose 2 class any1 older than u like ur parents; same age ppl ur bro or sisters; and younger than u ur children.... But if u feel u need this kind of luv... a sense of closeness i think, then is there something missing in u. I dunno. I think to say its okay to date... ppl get the idea of lust etc... U PARTICLARLY sound as if u r comfterable with this life where u say u can concentrate more. BUT say if this gal messes up right. And u get angry.... then wud that affect ur view on GOd? Its just the consequences of our actiona and the fact of we not being to control our emotions.... Like u say u can do ur Paaht etc,... then wud that change if sumthing ruined this relationship u have with this girl???? Its a thin line. I learnt that the hard way. WHat u r saying can be taken the wrong way, but maybe its just a lesson needed to be learnt. Maybe i have too yet. But to say dating is alrite - i think is wrong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KAAL Posted May 7, 2003 Report Share Posted May 7, 2003 wow congratulations (me included in this) 5th page of going around in a circle, like i said b4 n page 3 and 4 and now 5, its ur personal relationship with god, we are no1 to say wheter it is right or wrong, i certaninly dnt have anything missing in my life, i just not in the habbit of condemning people. If this 'kind of luv' happens then it happens, i am not saying go activly looking for a gyal, or a man, just cause i disagree with u condemning people doesnt mean i am saying yes go out its ok to look and date. what i am saying is if it happens, sikhi doesnt say deny ur heart. I also read in a previous post more or less wot u r saying. about if you have a fight, it makes you get angry, if you break up, etc, same thing can be asid for marraige, fights can even go up to divorce, now what?? shall we sit in the mountains like the yogis?? nope live life in the 'real' world, deal with reality, with real pressures, its all fine and dandy to talk about situations in theory, just try them in reality, i assure you that it does not ever work out to ur 'textbook answers'. Hence why i say let individuals ask mahraaj and see what mahraaj says to them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sevak Posted May 7, 2003 Report Share Posted May 7, 2003 ok amrik singh wat is your justification for sikhs being allowed to date... ive shown you mine...and others have shown u theirs... but so far i havnt seen one line of gurbani even half saying that it would be ok to date... Jassa, It totally depends on how spiritually developed you are to understand Gurbani. Gurbani goes beyond such things as wether to date or not to date. This topic is absolutely futile to discuss wether to date or not to date , just as it is futile to discuss wether to eat meat or not eat meat or wether to follow non-violence or not follow violence. REAL TRUTH AND REAL SIKHISM GOES BEYOND SUCH EGOISTICAL DISCUSSION OVER WHAT IS RIGHT AND WHAT IS WRONG ! It all depends on the individual. I can date and still be right and another person can date and still commit a whole lot of bad karma. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K4ur Posted May 7, 2003 Report Share Posted May 7, 2003 but pageeee... wen u r married, its different cuz howeva that marriage turns out, its with Guruz kirpa. Okay so wait up yeah. Dating.... define this in ur eyes 4 me plz. Its tru... wot Maharaaj ses then OFCOURSE its right.... Marriage is wen ur 2 souls become 1... anything b4 marriage is WRONG,, just the way i see it. No.. im ot saying go live in the mountains or anything like that... but u have life duties... grow up... educatetion... marriage. No - Sikhi doesnt say deny your hearrt... but u r trying to justify this in terms of SIkhi... rite? You sed b4 it wudnt matter if we committed kaam -- huh????? Can u explain this too me plz. I dnt understand where u got this from. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K4ur Posted May 7, 2003 Report Share Posted May 7, 2003 but pageeee... wen u r married, its different cuz howeva that marriage turns out, its with Guruz kirpa. Okay so wait up yeah. Dating.... define this in ur eyes 4 me plz. Its tru... wot Maharaaj ses then OFCOURSE its right.... Marriage is wen ur 2 souls become 1... anything b4 marriage is WRONG,, just the way i see it. No.. im ot saying go live in the mountains or anything like that... but u have life duties... grow up... educatetion... marriage. No - Sikhi doesnt say deny your hearrt... but u r trying to justify this in terms of SIkhi... rite? You sed b4 it wudnt matter if we committed kaam -- huh????? Can u explain this too me plz. I dnt understand where u got this from. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KAAL Posted May 7, 2003 Report Share Posted May 7, 2003 You sed b4 it wudnt matter if we committed kaam -- huh????? Can u explain this too me plz. I dnt understand where u got this from. can you please said me the link or quote from where i said this because i cant recall typin that at all???? and too lazy to look, but i am sure i never typed that :? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K4ur Posted May 7, 2003 Report Share Posted May 7, 2003 i think pg 3 or 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KAAL Posted May 7, 2003 Report Share Posted May 7, 2003 lol can you check the author of this post aswell?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KAAL Posted May 7, 2003 Report Share Posted May 7, 2003 i just did a quick scan for that post, but i didnt see it newhere, but i rember that post i think sevek wrote that post :? sevek can u please confirm?? the post may now have been edited or removed :? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sevak Posted May 8, 2003 Report Share Posted May 8, 2003 Which post? Discussions on wether to date or not to date is as futile as anything. One should be concerned with reading Gurbani and Simran and one will get the answer by themselves. However if by dating you mean premartial sex, kaam, lust and other low-level things that than that is bad. I am *in* for spiritual relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jassa Posted May 8, 2003 Report Share Posted May 8, 2003 yeh sewak wrote that quote not you kaal... that why u freaked out... it dont matter how much paath you do, how much simran you do.... if you do kaam its all useless...because paath isnt empty recitation... paath is telling you to do sumthing....and your doing the opposite.... look sewak im gonna leave it at this....you have a different approach to sikhi... and your answer on not providing quotes wasnt exactly good...you jus basically admitted that there arnt any to support your view... but allow it...we're goin round in a circle...the only reason i wrote a message was to provide this quote... oh and dicussions on this arnt futile... i cant believe this guy....you said we're fanatics and that we're twisting bani! ive given you solid quotes and you've given nothing.... Some people just misinterpret Gurbani in accordance with there fanatic minds ! The next thing I dont want to see is someone take a sword and kill his son/daughter for falling in love with someone. and heres the quote with him saying its forgiveable to lust?!!?!?!?!? dats sum twisted sikhi.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 8, 2003 Report Share Posted May 8, 2003 Which post? However if by dating you mean premartial sex, kaam, lust and other low-level things that than that is bad. I am *in* for spiritual relationship. so u mean friends???..... :roll: i dunno why everyone is arguing over this so much - the answer is there - if u wish to follow it fine - if u dont - dont follow it - its up to u - no one here can say anything about it have poeple become so short willed that they cannot wait till they are married?.... instead u come up with arguements such as "its ok if u r in a spiritual relationship"..... wat spiritual relationship???.... if u aint dating - u are friends..... yeh anyone can have friends.... wat differenciates a friendship and people who are dating is................ wait for the magic word.................ATTRACTION..... hmmmmmm seems a bit like lust to me.... :roll: :roll: now tell me...... would u be attracted towards ur brother/sista??..... cos thats wat we are meant to see our "haan de" peers as why does anyone need this "spiritual partner" before marraige anyway..... when our biggest spiritual guide is infront of us whenever we need it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jassa Posted May 8, 2003 Report Share Posted May 8, 2003 lol EXACTLY!!!!! singh u smashed it.... can neva gt the right word out!! bt that sums it up...... attraction is teh difference....attraction=lust... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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