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Teach love, yet deny its entry???


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Hello, I am white, English. I am totally and completely in love with a sikh girl. Her parents refuse to accept me and it hurts to know this.

Being of catholic upbringing I value traditional things, home, wife, child. All that I want us for her and I to be happy, together... Her parents however will not acknowledge my existence.

I would die for the touch of her hand, I worship her.

Please tell me

How can you preach of love and exeptence yet deny a man and womans love and yearning to be together?

I want the wife I choose, I want the family we deserve. As it seems she has to turn her back on her natural family.

Why do you do this?

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Guest Javanmard

Dear english man,

the intolerance, bigotry and racism of some individuals in our community should not make you think that Sikhism is like that. In fact I know a few Catholic-Sikh couples who got happily married. There will always be an initial tension but in most cases things do cool down afterwards. If you wish to contact me on this issue you can pm me!

Also remember that SIkhism has been through its own "Protestant" period and that a lot of the present intolerance is actually due to this "protestantisation" of SIkhism during the British Raj. As a Catholic (ie Universal) you surely know what I mean :wink:

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Dear english man,

the intolerance, bigotry and racism of some individuals in our community should not make you think that Sikhism is like that. In fact I know a few Catholic-Sikh couples who got happily married. There will always be an initial tension but in most cases things do cool down afterwards. If you wish to contact me on this issue you can pm me!

Also remember that SIkhism has been through its own "Protestant" period and that a lot of the present intolerance is actually due to this "protestantisation" of SIkhism during the British Raj. As a Catholic (ie Universal) you surely know what I mean :wink:

Thank you lalleshvari

That makes me feel much better. We are like one soul, torn apart by religion. I am not practising my religion, nor is she. She is divorced and has a little boy, whom I also love, though I cannot see him due to her parents finding out the truth of where she has been.

I am 35, no children, she is 31, one boy. All that I want is that we might be together, yet I fear the fact that her parents will not bless this, and threaten to disown her, will keep us apart forever.

We have sheltered our love for 2 years. Now I want a family.

I know what you mean about Catholic/protestant movements... Another sad waste of lives in the name of God. No God could condone such things.

I have nothing to hide, I just wanted a general feeling amongst your community on the issues.

When we are together I want her to teach me Punjabi, and all about the gurus. The readings I have browsed thus far make perfect sense. Much more so than the Bible.

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Dear the english man

If she is not practising her religion and u r not as well, there should be no problems, (even otherwise shouldn't bother)....

But as w/ any family it's hard for parents to overcome their own knowledge and look wider for the benefits of their children (esp. daughters)... As she is 31 and u 35, i believe that you are old enough to start your family as you desire.... parents will be upset for some time, but seeing their daughter happy overtime, they will come around....

Time is the best healer in such a case

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How can you preach of love and exeptence yet deny a man and womans love and yearning to be together?

Nobody here is denying any man of there love and yearning.Unless your mashooq's (lover's) parents post on this forum, saying words to the effect of denying your love.

You seem to me to be taking out your frustrations on people who have got nothing to do with your frustrations.

Follow your heart, but don't neglect your head (Buddhi).

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Nobody here is denying any man of there love and yearning.Unless your mashooq's (lover's) parents post on this forum, saying words to the effect of denying your love.

You seem to me to be taking out your frustrations on people who have got nothing to do with your frustrations.

Follow your heart, but don't neglect your head (Buddhi).

Hmmm... According to her Iam now imbalanced. all that I wanted was her...

I have lost faith in love.

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Does everyone act on the basis of waht religion teaches??? Jesus said, "love thy neighbour" Does everyone follow that rule and if someone doesn't then who is to blame the Religion itself or that individual? I blame that individual for not understanding, not Jesus. It has nothing to do with Jesus. Just as the actions of the parents have nothing to do with Sikhi.

There is a Vast difference between Culture and Religion. The parents inability to understand your love towards their daughter has been imbedded in their mind thru cultural influences not religious. There are those who are liberal in inter-race marriages and unfotunately the parents of your lover are not one.

In the eyes of the parents, there is no way you would be able to understand or fill up to the cultural expectation of their son-in-law. It is not to say they are attacking you personally, they are generalizing. They would feel the same way for any other race and perhaps even a hindu who is indian. So it is their ignorence if you choose to call it that is the issue, not religion.

As for loosing faith in love. Understand to lose faith in love would mean you have been betrayed in a sense that has cause you to lose faith. Betrayel came from expectation and the moment you start to expect something from love, it has become a trade. To expect is to place conditions. Love completly, totatly, without any expectation, without desire. Just love for the sake of Loving. Love is not wanting, its about giving, surendering where the joy exists in giving not receiving, when you give you give regardless without consideration. You were wanting something from 'Love' and it has not given it to you so you have lost faith. Your first mistake was to ask for soemthing from Love. It is not a trade and nor r u a merchant. If your faith in love was shattered, do not blame love for it.

People lose faith in God because god did not meet their expectation, or he didn't save the one they loved, so they have lost faith in him. Where your will is in place, so you yourself have placed yourself in the perdicament of losing faith. If you loved god unconditonally, there would be no question of losing faith because loving god itself is fullfillment, and whatever position he has placed you in out of his love. Where love exists, where 'Unconditional' love exists nothing can disturb it, never is faith shaken or lost for it is replaced with certainty and acceptance.

Forgive me if i have offended u.

Waheguru

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