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Orgin of Arrange Marriage....


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I would like to discuss about orgin of Arrange Marriage in Sikh Soceity

How it all begun??

Was Arrange marriage tradition been coming from guroo maharaj's time??

I know all our guroo maharaj did got in arranged marriage tradition. But just wondering how did it all started???

Please discuss :D

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I don't have concrete proof but I suspect it started out of convinience just like other aspects of Punjabi culture. With the arrival of Sikhi, it was incorporated in the religion.

I think arranged marriages are not a bad idea as you can be paired to someone from a good family with good upbringing as opposed to meeting someone on your own.

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Guest Javanmard

In Indian culture there are different types of marriage and arranged marriages are not only type of marriage and even then there are different types of arranged marriage.

There is:

1. Gandharva marriage: love marriage done with or with parents' approval. One such marriage is indirectly refered in the Sau Sakhi and in Charitropakhyan! Is not at all condemned in SIkhi. In fact Guru Gobind SIngh himself condemned those who put obstacles for those who are bound by love (see Prof Puran SIngh: the book of the tenth Master : the story of the Jain monk)

2. arranged marriage or assisted marriage

3. svayamvara: a girl choses from a certain number of boys who could be suitable for her.In the past it implied men going through different tests (physical, mental, artistic etc..)

4. Chadar: a man marries his widowed sister-in law by taking her under his protection

Arranged marriages were a high caste habit and became the norm during the emergence of the middle classes under the British Raj who desired to emmulate the high castes to acquire status.

This does not mean that arranged marriages are the only form of marriage in SIkhi: love marriages are totally ok!

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Lalleshvari, would you mind explaining the gandharva rite please?

I can't recall where I read it, but I believe that it's quite a violent marriage rite, involving the groom attacking the household of his bride, beating up or killing her male family members and snatching her away by force.

Also, I seem to remember something about there being a legend of an expert pressure-point fighter, who abducted a girl using the gandharva process, and moved her around by prodding her expertly.

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Guest Javanmard

Gandharva marriage can be practised in many ways. It can be private or public. If the boy and girl love each other and wish to have a public ceremony they can but if they are facing problems due to the families or society they can do it privatly reciting mantras and take the gandharvas (angels) as witnesses. I have no memory of gandharva marriages involoving violence but it is true that in the past there was a practise of kidnapping women.but this si not the gandhrava way.

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