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I've always been with m8s, hu promised from the age of about 11 that we wud never turn into typical indian kuria that wud plaster themselves wid makeup, straiggghten their hair everyday to impress... be the whole typical gir;s with attitude and jus be safe to ever1.

Now im 16 and i luk at a m8z and i think yoooooo, that promise went straight out the bag!!!!

Da girls i hangaround with now to b honest are totally wasted. I know i shuudnt say it but just so u get an idea. The drink, go out wid guys etc... and havbe loads of fights which to me i dnt wana know.

But im gna say it: "they're my m8z". :roll:

Recently i have been brought into Sikhi... and hope to take Amrit soon. Dnt know wen yet. But soon.

My friends became ore of a family to me at skool. The guys and gyals i hung around wid new me and i knew them. We all use to hang and they were like a REAL family 2 me.

I was on the verge of going the wrong way......... but (as corney as this ight sound to the random person) i was saved. :!: :!: :!:

I cud have off gone the TOTAL FLIP SIDE other way.

Now... sutimes... i feel like i am being torn by 2 sides.

Aside of my old faily - my friends... and this nu life.

I not dumn.... (i dnt think0) and i knwo which 1 is the better one... BUT... sumtimes i get so depressed.

I get depressed becus i think things i know i shudnt. And i wonder and dwell on things i shudnt... like from my old life.

I feel the luv from my REAL family now. Its beautiful life. Only word i can use really. Beautiful.

Life full of inspiration, luv, and a deepneess i know i dnt realise yet, but it feels right.

I sumtimes h8 going to skool cuz i h8 the ppl i see, i h8 the way i my mind works cuz i dnt like thinking the things i do,,, and i know its wrong. I feel stuck in a way. AND STUPID. Sum1 needs to hit me with a stupid stick i think.

I dnt know wot to do. I know i will take Amrit... but i cnt wen i have this kind of battle fighting in my mind CONSTANTLY.

Sumtimes i feel i cant cope. Other times i think, im even stupid 4 even doubting.

I dnt know how to practically and mentally bring Sikhi into my life at skool and with me everywhere i go.

I'm wondering if any1 has been thru the same kind of thing? Or am i the onl one?

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hmm i know how it can be when u have friends who have like the total opposite view on life then u do

out of all my friends i prolly know like 5 singhs - the rest are moneh... out of these 5 singhs - non of them keep their dharis - they are all trimmers

the moneh - the less said the better - most of em are on cocaine - heroine - and bhudda.... the others all drink - they have no real knowledge on sikhi - today i had the regular arguement with my friend about sikhi - as if he knows more then everyone else - he tries to make out like his opinion is the right way - anyways - ive never preached nothin to them lot ever cos i know it will just make me more angry and they will think im more of a fanatic - they know my beliefs - i know theres and thats how i keep it - no need argueing with people who aint ever gonna change is there

anyways - it seems as if its hard to be a sikh in this day and age - but really it aint - sikhi is an individual thing - a personal journey between u and waheguru - everyone else is just exterior.... ok u chill with ur friends out n about - but then u also give ur time to ur prayers and devotion

if u really want to - there is nothing that can stop u from taking this path :wink:

fateh

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im scared i will make a mistake.

I know wot ppl say about "oh every1 dus and thats life etcc...."

But with me, to a make a mistake wud be like the ultimate WORST thing ever.

Im scared of what i might become... and i dont think i know how to go about it... or how to deal with it.

Bringing me into SIkhi - i was caght while i was at the lowest of how far lows can go. What if i make another mistake?

Im scared. Weird thing is... when im in skool and at home... its like 2 different me's.

Im really scared of who i am at the moment. And im scared if the choices i make arnt the right ones, and i kow the decisions i will need to make will coe soon.

One thing i've learnt is life is a test.

One thing i have not learnt is how to cope.

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Vaheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Vaheguru Ji Ki Fateh

K4ur i have also been in a situation similar 2 urs, it is difficult 2 know which way 2 turn but one thing i will say is don't give up on these feelings u r recieving and feeling on the path of Sikhi... trust me that will give u the strength 2 keep u going :)

I learnt that there is no reason for u 2 have 2 choose between ur friends & family and Sikhi... b urself, do what u believe is right or wrong. When my friends said they were off 2 the pub or places which i no longer felt comfortable in, i had 2 learn 2 say no... :? ... yes i know that seems hard and ur friends will ask u many questions 'y not?' but slowly u will become more sure of urself and have more confidence. B sure 2 explain y not, and that as u r learning 2 develop urself what u r feeling about Sikhi has never felt so right. if ur friends have love and care for u as much as they say they do, they will respect and admire your courage to pursue your path without having been torn between the 2 paths.

Remember Guru Ji is holding your hand all the way... :D

Good luck...

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hi, i can relate to what you're saying because I have these 'mind battles' in my head too. Sometimes, I think about things so much that I get myself more confused than when I started thinking about the issue in the first place. However, there are other times that I realise how important being a Sikh is to me and that makes me think about things in a different light. I hope one day that I can get it right but in the meantime, I find that it helps talking to people and asking questions about the religion and learning from them and their experiences.

Also, I understand what you mean about not wanting to make any mistakes-that's why I think it's good to talk to others to learn from their experiences but sometimes in life, you do make mistakes but if you learn from them- that can be a good thing.

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fateh - kaur - if ur worried about making mistakes then i suggest that u practise for a while - follow the rehat and see how it is for u - this is the sure test to see if ur ready to commit :wink:

fateh

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If you're finding it hard to fully commit - having difficulty with certain things, what should you be doing? I mean, in the sense that you don't want to give up and you want to be a good Sikh but there are things going on in your life/ things that you're doing that aren't considered good practise...

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ruby - its not something u should rush into - best thing to do is take every little thing step by step

if theres one main thing that will cause a knock on effect to everything is to wake up early - have a shower/bath and do ur paat

even if it is 5 minutes - it is allot... with this u will slowly gain want to do more - when u start learnin about sikhi and things are set into ur mind about wats right and wats wrong - u will automatically do em...

nothing is hard to give up - esspecially when u have the wisdom of our gurus infront of u to tell u the way of life :wink: :wink:

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wooooow, neva thought id ge a big as come bak as that.

Firstly,i wana say VAHEGURU JI KA KHALSA, VAHEGURU JI KE FATEH...!

Secondly, i wana say A BIG MASSIVVE THANKU 4 evri1 hu has replied my post.

Its really nice 2 know there r ppl out ther hu have been in da same position.

I kno 4 me it will b a totally different lifestyle... and latley has become more thanjust a lifesyle.

I just hope the decisions i make r the right ones...

i was listenning to a vichaar on tape this morning that was lying round da house. It was about Sangat...

It talked abotu if ur with a gud sangat, u can only get gud, and if u wih a not so gud one, than path becomes 10 time thinner.

I spent my day in skool jus looking around and hinking about all my actions and my m8s actions... and i discovered a few things about myself that were gud and not so gud.

Mostly my thoughts were not so gud, but i guess most of my actions were safe..

My heartaches sumtimes and other times i jus think wow!!!!!!!!

Like all of u replying was WOW and to be honest i thought it was just me.

I hope God embraces u closley today, because all of ur advice and warm thoughts have made me smile today.

Thanku once again.

Vaheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Vhaeguru Ji Ke Fateh

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neat topic n thread u have started K4ur n dont ever think your alone in feeling that way..

life is a test..

and each day life itself will teach you how to cope with it..

as Steel bangle mentions getting up early and doing your paath is a great starting point to carry the flame burning..

its all a start and also trust urself.. things wont change overnite, sometimes there will b times when you have your doubts and moments of loneliness, (i started a thread about this in the general forum)

as many ppl have mentioned take one step towards God and he will take a 1000 steps towards you..

Believe

I asked God for a reason to live

I asked for the reason we exist

I asked for someone to call my own

Someone to share life and its experiences with

I asked God to bless me with a dream

One day, God replied and he said

Believe my child and the world is yours

For I have blessed you with all I have

Made you in my own image

Never, he said stop believing

And one day it will all be yours

For you have the power within

It’s all down to discovering how it works

thats one of mah favest pieces..

never stop learning.. n believing..

im that lil bit older than you and i have only begun learning more and more each day..

naam simran is also a great tool in learning to control you mind and your thoughts.. again tho this is a arduos path and inevitably you may have your moments of doubt but as each day goes by you will b the that lil bit closer..

it takes us from 1-16 to gain a secondary education and from there another 5 years to leave university and get a degree.. thats 21 years in total.. but it takes us many life times learning and believing the Guru's word..

dont b disheartened.. when u feel alone.. jus do what it is you can do to lift ur spirits..

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