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Agape,eros,philia


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Two friends were discussing the possibility of love. "I thought I

was in love three times," one friend says. "How so?" his friend asks

"Five years ago I deeply cared for a woman who wanted nothing to do

with me."

"Was that not love?" his friend asks

"No," he replies. "That was obsession. And then two years ago I

deeply cared for an attractive woman who didn't understand me."

"Was that not love?"

"No," he replies. "That was lust. And just last year I met a woman

aboard a cruise ship to the Caribbean. She was smart, funny, and a

great conversationalist. And everywhere I followed her on that boat, I

would get this strange sensation in the pit of my stomach."

"Was that not love?" his friend asks

"No," he replies. "That was motion sickness."

I think there are a lot of people who think they are (or were) in

love who don't have a clue as to what love really is. And the result is

that many marriages are suffering. You hear married couples say, "We're

just not in love anymore." And I know right away what kind of "love"

they had when they got married

The Greeks had several different words for "love." Three are

especially important in marriages. First, there was "eros", the word

used to describe sexual attraction. It's important in marriages, but if

that's the only kind of love a couple has, their love will only last

until they find others more attractive (and that day will come). What

some mean when they say , "I don't love you anymore" is "I'm not

attracted to you anymore."

Second, there was "philia," a friendship love. This is the kind of

love that says, "I enjoy being around you and talking to you and doing

things with you." It is very important in a marriage, but again, if it

is the only kind of love there is, the love will last only until you

find someone else you enjoy talking to and doing things with. What most

mean when they say, "I don't love you anymore" is "I don't enjoy being

around you anymore."

The Religious Scriptures, however, uses the word "agape" as the foundational love

It is a love of commitment, a love that says, "I'll be here for you

regardless of what happens." It is the love that truly stays in there

"for better or for worse." It is the kind of love that will love even

when others are unlovable

Make sure that your marriages (and other personal relationships)

are grounded in "agape" -- true love!

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oh no. don't tell me she's come over here too! it's terrible seein someone else with ur name on sikhpal when ur stuck bein genuine with everyone. it'd be a travesty to see her come here and take my real name too. lol...

googly ji, i'm not Sukhi Kaur... just Sukhi... welcome to sikhawareness. i was wondering when you'd figure out who i am...

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