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Little brothers are such pests!


Nectar

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Little brothers are such pests! :twisted: :twisted:

Is he the same child...

He's a teen gone wild

How I adored him when he was a baby

Coochie coochie such a cutie teddy

Now hes such a pest

Always puts my patience for test

Yesterday I learned making aaloo tikki

had aaloo,pyaaz and lal mirch tikhi

Tikki came out great in the first try...

Patiently rolled each and then fried

Served everyone...

All served and thought I'd hv two or one

This pest comes snatches tikkis

Gobbles them....sooo quickly

with a wicked grin handsover the plate

I give him a good chaped

Mum comes and rescues

Then he comes with silly excuse

Again I end up crying

Thinking and sighing ....

Why are little brothers such pests!!!

Googly

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Little brothers are such pests! :twisted: :twisted:

Is he the same child...

He's a teen gone wild

How I adored him when he was a baby

Coochie coochie such a cutie teddy

Now hes such a pest

Always puts my patience for test

Yesterday I learned making aaloo tikki

had aaloo,pyaaz and lal mirch tikhi

Tikki came out great in the first try...

Patiently rolled each and then fried

Served everyone...

All served and thought I'd hv two or one

This pest comes snatches tikkis

Gobbles them....sooo quickly

with a wicked grin handsover the plate

I give him a good chaped

Mum comes and rescues

Then he comes with silly excuse

Again I end up crying

Thinking and sighing ....

Why are little brothers such pests!!!

Googly

wow that is deep stuff, he musta pushed ur limits or u really wanted that allo tiki......i'd Ship him to India.

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lol... Googly, ur such a kaam-ful person! shame on you!

Pheena, she can't ship him to India. they already live there. :LOL:

:twisted: :twisted: :twisted: am a lobhi sukhi :mrgreen: I love to cook and eat what I cook :mrgreen:

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wow that is deep stuff, he musta pushed ur limits or u really wanted that allo tiki......i'd Ship him to India.

Yeah he irritates and goes overboard sometimes :mrgreen:

other times he acts like such an innocent lamb....hehe....hes a khota

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Resort to violence. LOL, im just kidding...

It really depends on the family. "problem children" can be dealt with.. But it takes patience and UNANIMOUS effort from the entire family to deal with the situation by making adjustments.

Example. One such little 4yr old nephew of mine that i dont see very often is a little terror. The last time i saw him, he was acting up because someone wanted to change the channel from what he was watching to check the news. While he was building up to a tantrum, i interrupted his flow by asking "Dharam, dyou know what patience means?"

He stopped mid flow as his intellect was being put to the test. he didnt know what the word patience meant. So i explained:

"Patience is when we wait a little while for something we want.. if you were abit more patient, everyone would think: Isnt Dharam a good boy? hes so patient. he waits and doesnt get angry".

To the surprise of his parents, the kid sat and waited while we checked the news on the other channel. his dvd was waiting for him paused at the same spot. sitation diffused.

During another visit, he was refusing to comply with another request (something like go and bring the cordless phone from the other room) and was being told he was a bad boy. he didnt care. why should he? he is a bad boy after all.. he has a rep to uphold!

Again, i interfered and said "no, i dont think thats right. I think Dharam's a good boy.. I'll bet you if he's asked nicely he'd go and get the phone."

"no he wont" answered his mum, who was beginning to get my drift.

"no, i think he will.. lets find out: Dharam, will you please go and get the phone for your mum?"

The "little terror" got up and went and got it. Then his mum told him what a good boy he was and gave him a hug etc, while i re-affirmed that he was indeed a good kid.

This kind of thing works, and can have startling results very quickly.. but ONLY if handled correctly and ONLY if the whole family plays ball consistantly.

unfortunately, most families lack the patience and opt straight for the time honoured tradition of Desi Beats (volume one). Kid got an attitude? slap him/her... unfortunately it doesnt tend to work very well and is often counterproductive. Likewise, being overprotective and letting kids get away with too much doesnt work either. again, its counter productive.

The Key words are Balance and Patience. A child is really a little learning organism, and from birth onwards it absorbs everything that it sees and hears. its learning at a phenomenal rate, and the foundations for its behaviour are set between birth and the age of about 6.

Behaving/Misbehaving, telling lies, being manipulative etc are all experiments that children conduct in order to find what society is about and what they can get away with/what is acceptable in terms of their behaviour.

Your little brother is cheeky because experience has taught him he doesnt need to have manners to get by. experience has also taught him the worst that can happen is someone will give him a slap. but so what? all he has to do is cry really loud and mum will come and rescue him. So its a trade off that he's happy to live with. its a system, a mechanism. as long as it works, he'll carry on.

but what if the responses to his behaviour changed? what if he didnt get a slap? but something else happened instead? what if the whole family was unanimous in saying what was acceptable and what isnt? if mum, dad, brothers and sisters all had a behavioural standard and he had to aspire to be the same because thats how it goes in ur family?

It would throw his world off balance, and he'd have to make adjustments to fit into the new family mechanism.

keep in mind this sort of thing cant be done drastically. it needs to be dealt with one point at a time. one lesson at a time. each thing needs to become the norm (For example, patience.. work on that till its no longer an issue.. then move onto something else).

The theory is sound and it does work.. i've seen it work. the hard part is keeping it going, because you'll all find that there are things that everyone needs to change.. where does the kid get his temper from? where did he learn to use that tone of voice? who taught him those words? what made him think that its ok to treat other people that way? His enviroment did, and his family. Because children are a product of their envioroment.

THAT is the bit that parents (especially desi parents) have a huge problem with. they'll say:

"oh we dont have time for all this... my parents used to beat me and it never did me any harm... kids should be tough... who are you to tell us how to raise our children.. blah blah blah" (read, Hankaar, Hankaar and MORE Hankaar)

If thats the case, then i guess your gonna have to try to establish an individual relationship with him on that level:

"If you wanted more why didnt you just ask? i would have made them for you? i was hungry.. i cooked for everyone else and just put two aside... if you'd done that, dyou think i would have eaten yours without asking? if you'd asked i would have shared them with you.. or made more so we could eat together.. now im still hungry.. plus my feelings are hurt (emotional blackmail ;) )"

It'll be alot easier if your family backs you up. but if they dont, and the individual thing isnt working coz mummy dearest keeps jumping in and further spoiling the kid.. then use ur imagination.. im sure u can think of a hundred ways of getting him back and not getting caught! if not, PM me and i'll help you cook up a plan of action: Operation Silent Jutthi

*evil laugh*

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ahahaha! double_edge, you just publicized every single method i use to deal with my brother.

but i think the most important thing u need to deal with kids is a sense of humour. you gotta know when to ease up and have a laugh with them. otherwise their entire childhood goes to waste in being overly serious.

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