sexy_singh Posted February 3, 2005 Report Share Posted February 3, 2005 how do ppl feel about asking for help from someone they hate? is it dishonest? is it wrong? say if there is something htey can help you with that will benefit you and others as well - is it then okay to swallow your pride and ask for help - AND at the same time not feel guilty about it? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beast Posted February 3, 2005 Report Share Posted February 3, 2005 is this abt sukhi? lol 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pheena Posted February 3, 2005 Report Share Posted February 3, 2005 WHy do you Hate to begin with?? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sexy_singh Posted February 3, 2005 Author Report Share Posted February 3, 2005 well pheena, this person is an ok person - hes arrogant and stuff but mostly hes fine. but he once said things about my father and cuz hes older than me and my paji, i didnt say aynything back. but its been brewing inside me and it makes me mad that he'd do that .. i considered forgiving him, but im still angry.hes also really judgemental and thinks hes gods gift to man but paradoxically he talks about "hunkar" in others and how thast so bad for example the indian cricket team - he thinks they are full of themselves ok i lie. its about sukhi 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beast Posted February 3, 2005 Report Share Posted February 3, 2005 lol, I knew it! If it's going to hurt you to do it then I wouldn't ask him. However, you can also view it as something positive - ie this person that you don't like is acting to help you in some way to enrich your life (use and abuse him)! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sexy_singh Posted February 3, 2005 Author Report Share Posted February 3, 2005 thing is beast, ive seen so many people who are ungrateful bastards who forget those who got them where they are now .. i dont ever wanna become one of those. its confusing :-/ 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sexy_singh Posted February 3, 2005 Author Report Share Posted February 3, 2005 and its really important for me in my personal life, as well as career and other things ..... so i kinda *need* his help ..... the game of waheguru is complex and frustrating! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pheena Posted February 3, 2005 Report Share Posted February 3, 2005 What and How he is irrelivent. How you React to the Others remarks is the only thing in your Control. Now about getting help from someone who has offended you. If you get help from him, you will have to do that knowingly that you do not like this person. But yet still you are getting aid from him, so when you get what you want, how will it change your view of him? 99% of the this world is neither 100% bad or 100% Good, Every Bad person has some quality underneath the Thick Layers of his visible Persona. Vice Versa with those who are good. With that thinking if you look at him think to yourself that who knows what kind of goodness lie within him. If you approach him seeking for help, then do so with the thought that perhaps he has someting to give to me other than his Arrogance and hatred. However difficult it might be take that quality within him and see that every dark cloud has a silver lining. A question have you considered doing ardaas for those who hurt you? That is One way to deal with it. The other is find someone else who can help you, completly ignore the individual, leave him to his own demise. I find both methods valid in thier own respect and worthy of consideration. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guv Posted February 3, 2005 Report Share Posted February 3, 2005 well pheena, this person is an ok person why thank you... i think your ok too. hes arrogant and stuff but mostly hes fine. well nobody's perfect... no need to dwell on it. but he once said things about my father and cuz hes older than me and my paji, i didnt say aynything back. i wasn't talking about your dad!!.... i was talking about your... er... well... actually never mind. hes also really judgemental i never judge anyone... u're such an evil judgemental to say that!! and thinks hes gods gift to man but paradoxically he talks about "hunkar" in others and how thast so bad i think your ego's just not letting u accept the fact that i am god's gift is it?? hmmm?? for example the indian cricket team - he thinks they are full of themselves they are so up their own behinds. ok i lie. its about sukhi ohhhhh!!... now it all makes sense. that evil hunkari cow!!! ok... serious answer: how do ppl feel about asking for help from someone they hate? is it dishonest? is it wrong? hmmm... it all depends on the circumstances. as pheena said, u only have control over how u react... something covey refers to as your response-ability. now u have a number of different ways to proceed. the first is as said above to work on yourself (probably the hardest thing to do as u have to want to change the person u love the most... yourself!) work on controlling your hatred. see the reasons for your emotion and choose to respond in a different manner. u could also try talking to john about why he said what he did. he may regret what he said, or u may have misinterpreted what he said. there's only one way u'll find out for sure. he may be older, so u may not want to challenge him on the issue, but that does not mean that u cannot ask him to explain himself... that is not disrespect. if you do not like the above, or have tried it & john really is a prick, u could try to trick him into helping u without realising it. requires a lot of tact & manipulation, but u'd be surprised at what u can get ppl to do using the gift of the gab. u can either show him how he'll be the ultimate winner, or play on his ego. or... u could just ask him & then see it not as him helping u, but as payback for the hurt he's caused u. if all else fails, hire a hooker... take a photo & blackmail him! hope that helps. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Infernal Monk Posted February 3, 2005 Report Share Posted February 3, 2005 lol...nothing wrong with getting help from a person you don't like. The way i see it, you aren't going to get along with everyone, but sometimes you just have to cooperate to get something done. So just ask him straight up, and get it done (If getting it done is important then just ask and do it). Sometimes you just have to work with people that piss you off.. ...and that "is this about Sukhi" comment....lol 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
double_edge Posted February 4, 2005 Report Share Posted February 4, 2005 I think its basically a question of personal pride. Some people like to be self sufficient and really dont like to ask for help from anyone. And naturally, nobody wants to ask for help or a favour from someone they dont get on with. I guess it comes down to this: How badly do you need their help? and Can you do without it? If theres another way round it, then dont bother asking them (lahtough im guessing u've already explored all ur options, hence ur question). If its something very important and nobody else can help u acheive what u need to acheive, then its just a question of whether or not you can swallow your pride. Tough one. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sexy_singh Posted February 4, 2005 Author Report Share Posted February 4, 2005 thanks guys, appreciate the replies. its not just about pride, i can swallow it, i think. but then i'll feel guilty of "using" someone, because i resent them, yet im not being open with my feelings. that bothers me. the guilt. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
double_edge Posted February 4, 2005 Report Share Posted February 4, 2005 Maybe it could open dialogue to the point where u could discuss and possible even resolve your differences? Alternatively, get his help, make sure u thank him, then bottle him LOL 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sukhi Posted February 4, 2005 Report Share Posted February 4, 2005 something i've seen happen a lot is when you ask someone you dislike for help, you end up making the effort to cooperate, and through this mutual understanding, you learn that the other person isn't all that bad. maybe asking whoever it is you dislike for help can help you ease the tensions between the two of you...? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sexy_singh Posted March 7, 2005 Author Report Share Posted March 7, 2005 hmm, yeah well to keep things updated .. ive decided to keep with inertia and suck it up. so hes helping me, and i hate myself for being in this situation, but i have no realistic alternative so i'll stick with it. hard to rationalize it away, without admitting im in the wrong .. but oh well. cheers for the comments guys, the hard thing about advice is following it even when you know it makes sense. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sukhi Posted March 7, 2005 Report Share Posted March 7, 2005 aw sexysinghstah, you know it's gonna be okay. it's not the end of the world having to work with someone you dun exactly totally like. besides, you might end up learning something from him. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tableji Posted March 7, 2005 Report Share Posted March 7, 2005 Sukhi Senior Jathedar|Vada Jathedar|Vadi Jathedarni sheeesh the three Sukhis 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sukhi Posted March 7, 2005 Report Share Posted March 7, 2005 geezus krist, dun you get it? it's like the holy trinity cept it's for me. personally speaking, i preferred having 3 feminine titles, but lil ole Neo Nazi can't get that through his head. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tableji Posted March 7, 2005 Report Share Posted March 7, 2005 ahahaha@geezus krist + holy trinity....what a pun 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sukhi Posted March 7, 2005 Report Share Posted March 7, 2005 yeeeeeup! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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