Guest kajol_is_hot Posted June 1, 2003 Report Share Posted June 1, 2003 Hi all. I have a general question about arranged marraiges. Are they part of Sikhism or is it a cultural thing that has remained from the past....? What is your opinion on a outdated and somewhat silly tradition? I ask because I may soon be faced with the dilemma. :? :? :? :? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 1, 2003 Report Share Posted June 1, 2003 Hi all. I have a general question about arranged marraiges. Are they part of Sikhism or is it a cultural thing that has remained from the past....? What is your opinion on a outdated and somewhat silly tradition? I ask because I may soon be faced with the dilemma. :? :? :? :? Its mosly cultural thing. Sikh Scriptures per say doesnt restrict you from gettin love marriages nor does it restrict you from gettin arrange marriages?? so its up to the person whos gettin married!! However here is something beautiful from sggs regarding marriage.. God is the husband and we are all his brides. "The spouse is but One and all others are His brides. The false bride assumes many religious garbs. When the Lord stops her going into another's home, then is she summoned into her Lord's mansion without any let and hindrance. She is adorned with the Name and is dear to her True Lord. She alone is the true bride and the Lord lends her His support." (Guru Nanak Dev, Ramkali, pg. 933) 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nogroup singh Posted June 2, 2003 Report Share Posted June 2, 2003 I have a general question about arranged marraiges. Are they part of Sikhism or is it a cultural thing that has remained from the past....? I would like to go by your questions and try to explain both sides. First of all, arrange marriages are high in ratio in category of successful marriages than love marriages. I don't believe that if you have love marriage then you can have successful marriage as its known fact that love marriages have more divorces than arrange marriages. Marriage should not be in category of love marriage or arrange marriage but marriage is a name of understanding of each other and also how much respect you and your partner have for you and same goes for your side. What is your opinion on a outdated and somewhat silly tradition? I won't call it outdated or silly tradition as Our all Sikh gurus had arrange marriages and if I agree with your statement then im indirectly saying that my GURUs of Sikhism were outdated when world is coming to know that our GURUS have given religion which is 100% scientific and as well as modern. I ask because I may soon be faced with the dilemma. Don't call it dilemma, because if that's the case then you are going against Sikhism. Sikhism marriage should be for lifetime not for time being, so if you are not fully in favour of your marriage, and doing it just because you want to make someone happy then its 100% against Sikhism. Now I go in detail so you can understand how the marriage goes by Sikhism side so you won't find yourself in confusion. I don't want to make this post 1000 words long because I know you will loose the interest to read the whole post. Here is the link for you to understand Sikh marriage. http://www.sikhs.org/wedding/ http://www.cyberway.com.sg/~usma/sikhism_b...html#The%20Sikh It has anwser to your arrange marriage question as well, and I will try to post it here so you can read it. Sikh marriages are usually arranged. However, the word 'arranged' is not always properly interpreted by people in Western societies. An arranged marriage does not mean forcing a boy or a girl into a wedlock of parents' choice only. It is agreeing to marriage proposed by mutual discussion between the boy or the girl on one side and his or her parents and relatives on the other. This is in fact selecting the right partner from a number of choices or proposals. Several criteria are usually adopted before making a marriage proposal. Most important are the boy and girl themselves who show their willingness only after taking into account, personality, family background, educational standing and physical appearance of the proposed partner. Generally, relatives or close family friends suggest a suitable match to the family. The boy and girl then get to know each other to convey their consent to their parents. So, if you and your parents are doing it the way it has been mentioned above then it is Sikh marriage otherwise its just a cultural marriage not Sikh. Now I tell you why Love marriage goes against Sikhism most of the time. First of all, I would like to post these lines to give you nutshell intro to sikhism and I knwo you know it but im pasting it here for reason. "I observe neither Hindu fasting nor the ritual of the Muslim Ramadan month; Him I serve who at the last shall save. The Lord of universe of the Hindus, Gosain and Allah to me are one; From Hindus and Muslims have I broken free. I perform neither Kaaba pilgrimage nor at bathing spots worship; One sole Lord I serve, and no other. I perform neither the Hindu worship nor the Muslim prayer; To the Sole Formless Lord in my heart I bow. We neither are Hindus nor Muslims; Our body and life belong to the One Supreme Being who alone is both Ram and Allah for us." (Guru Arjan Dev, Guru Granth Sahib, Raga Bhairon pg. 1136) Mostly, you will see that if you are in love you go against your religion, parents, society. Muslim/sikh marriage? Wrong, because in most of the cases they will ask you to convert so you have to leave your modern and advance religion. So you won't be sikh but converted to Islam. It will show that you couldn't understand Sikhism properly as you accepted to convert when on the other hand All of our GURUS and ancient Sikhs prefered to die rather than converting and leaving Sikhism. If converting yourself was not against Sikhism then everyone would have converted to Christianity, ISLAM, Judaism or kept following Hinduism as their religion. Guru Tegh Bhadhur ji sacrified his life but didn't accept to convert because he knew that he was following a path of truth. Here are the few links for you to read if you get time for convertion. http://www.sikh-history.com/sikhhist/gurus/kirpadutt.html http://www.srigurugranthsahib.org/guru-teg...ai-mati-das.htm http://allaboutsikhs.com/martyrs/bhaitaru.htm http://www.sikhpoint.com/religion/SHAHEED%...ANI%20SINGH.ASP ---> Hindu/Sikh marriage Below Gurbani can easily explain why it is against Sikhism. "I observe neither Hindu fasting nor the ritual of the Muslim Ramadan month; Him I serve who at the last shall save. The Lord of universe of the Hindus, Gosain and Allah to me are one; From Hindus and Muslims have I broken free. I perform neither Kaaba pilgrimage nor at bathing spots worship; One sole Lord I serve, and no other. I perform neither the Hindu worship nor the Muslim prayer; To the Sole Formless Lord in my heart I bow. We neither are Hindus nor Muslims; Our body and life belong to the One Supreme Being who alone is both Ram and Allah for us." (Guru Arjan Dev, Guru Granth Sahib, Raga Bhairon pg. 1136) So, if we marry a hindu, then we are going against Sikhism as well because its simple to explain. If you are married to Hindu then you are living in Hindu house, so in that case, you have to follow their rituals, traditions which Guru ji clearly stated are not a part of Sikhism. Sikh/Christian Marriage: Same goes for this marriage as well. Sikh can only marry a Sikh so it should clear all the questions our youth has most of the time. So, if we marry someone even at Gurdwara and think that we didn't do anything against Sikhism then we are 100% wrong. If that was the case then there was no need to have Sikhism or Sikhism way of life but if we want to truely want to be Sikh then we have to learn Sikhism and what it tells us. Most of the time we claim to be born Sikh which is simple to explain, my parents are Sikh and that makes me Sikh as well. We have to change those terms. If my father is engineer then I can't claim to be engineer, and anwser is simple, I don't have that education and as well as degree so samething should go for Sikhism. We should be sikh if we have knowledge of Sikhism and it should not be allowed that every child born in Sikh family should be known as Sikh. Guru Nanak Dev ji didn't choose his own sons as next Guru because they couldn't prove themselves true follower of Sikhism which Guru Nanak dev ji stated, so that was the reason that Guru ji didn't choose them as our Gurus. So, if our Guru ji were not biased then we should not be biased about it as well, that we should start calling our childern Sikhs just because they are taking birth in Sikh families but we need to send them to camps and try to make them true sikhs with full education and degree of Sikhism. I tried my best to explain Sikh marriage and now its all in your hands what you consider good for you. Best of luck for your marriage. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gupt Singh Posted June 3, 2003 Report Share Posted June 3, 2003 the simplest explanation is - guru gobind singh said only marry a sikh. its also in a number of rehtnamas and is part of the reht maryada. it is forbidden to marry a hindu or muslim or christian. traditionally anand karaj could not go ahead unless both people were gursikh. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vaapaaraa Posted June 6, 2003 Report Share Posted June 6, 2003 Arranged marriages might be the way in some families, it all depends on your family.. everythin is evolvin so is sikhi 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vaapaaraa Posted June 6, 2003 Report Share Posted June 6, 2003 it is forbidden to marry a hindu or muslim or christian. traditionally anand karaj could not go ahead unless both people were gursikh. Can you please show me where that is written in the Guru Granth Sahib or any teachings.. thats really strange.. haven't you heard that the Guru said all ppl are equal, treat all men as one. then y do u put the wall of religion in there!! plz cite that quote for me. Thank you =) 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vaapaaraa Posted June 6, 2003 Report Share Posted June 6, 2003 So you won't be sikh but converted to Islam. so in that case, you have to follow their rituals, traditions which Guru ji clearly stated are not a part of Sikhism. There is no such thing as religion. Sikhism is respect, experience, love, kindness, service. The whole human race is one. If the other person loves you, and is not a sikh, he/she will not ask you to convert at the first place, and will accept as you are!! Its all about love , and not about marrying someone from another religion to follow their rituals, traditions!! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sherni-E-Punjab Posted July 9, 2003 Report Share Posted July 9, 2003 lol , not that i am gonna marry one ...but if guru gobind singh ji said marry only a sikh...is it ok to marry a gora (white) sikh just a thought...! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SAadmin Posted July 9, 2003 Report Share Posted July 9, 2003 Off course you can desikudi... I know there are enuf gorra sikhs in america... lol 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr §ingh Posted July 9, 2003 Report Share Posted July 9, 2003 yup desikuddi why not :S lol Nogroup Vir JI is it alout to get´some1 from another religion to convert ´to Sikhi with INSPIRATION...in otherwords without force to convert to Sikhiand then have da Anandkarj? jus a thought :s I'm only 15 soon so no mararge thoughts yet jus wonder like desikuddi lol 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pritam Posted July 10, 2003 Report Share Posted July 10, 2003 tbh goray Sikhs put alot of so-called Sikhs to shame imo. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Khandaydhaar Posted July 12, 2003 Report Share Posted July 12, 2003 I reckn it'd be cool to marry a gora singh, cuz atleast they wont have a typical indian mentality...who knows, mainly cuz they would be really dedicated to God and Guru Ji, so yea,..... :roll: 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sikhprideuk Posted July 12, 2003 Report Share Posted July 12, 2003 Yeah its true it depends on the family , but to marry and non sikh would course problems later on, cus i got the gutts to ask my parents about marrying some1 that was not a sikh and the reply i got was if your happy we are happy its up 2 u but u must think about after wards when u have childern will they be sikhs or will they follow both or her religion and would she allow it etc etc .. somethink to think about hunna :shock: 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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