im filled with lust and cant control it!

[OSINGH]

everywhere i go i see women dressed in tight jeans, short skirts, tight tops, low cut tops etc.

Girlls in the UK always look stunning aswel and i cant control maself

everytime i see a girls, i think 'DAM, look at that, i want sum!'

its a typical asian attitude but i did managem to stop it for a while but now its back.

ne1 else feel like this?

[HeyDudesWassup]

Observe the feeling of lust in a detached manner and know that lust happens to you, you are not full of lust. It will dissapate on its own.

[Pheena]

everywhere i go i see women dressed in tight jeans, short skirts, tight tops, low cut tops etc.

Girlls in the UK always look stunning aswel and i cant control maself

everytime i see a girls, i think 'DAM, look at that, i want sum!'

its a typical asian attitude but i did managem to stop it for a while but now its back.

ne1 else feel like this?

There are many methods that help you control (not surpress) and transform our lustful energy and desires. Knowledge is power, know what Sex is, Know what Sexuality is, Know what Lust is. Know where they arise from, what triggers them, disect your thoughts, your feelings, observe them with a keen eye and if you observe them correctly as HeyDudesWassup said you will obliterate the thought-tide of your lustfulness. If it arises again and most likely it will, do not lose your patience. Do not fear it because it is nothing but our own creation. Do not blame others for, not the females you see walking, not anyone. No one is to blame for our thoughts but our ownsleves. That does not mean feel guilty about it. It means do not place the responsibilty of your mind upon others that it is 'their' fault and your are powerless about it.

Women are God's creatoin as are you, as is their beauty, their figure...learn to tranform you sight with such thoughts...do not look to posses them, instead appreciate them for their beauty and more so appreciate the one who created them. Redefine your thoughts. Do you appreciate the beauty of a flower only after you plucked it from its branch? Know that once you pluck the flower from its branch, soon it will die. Similar is our lust, the desire to posses the others body, to use it for our own satisfaction...soon the infatuation of physical attraction will fade and you will find yourself looking for another women to satisfy yourself. It is a cycle that will not stop, unless you learn to redirect your mind and thoughts. Our plucking of the flower is similar to wanting to posses them physically. See them for their beauty and appreaciate the creator for such beauty. Let every beauty remind your of his work. It is up to you how you interpret what you see.

Aside fomr what HeyDude suggest, also Learn to observe your breathing, know that it is thought that arises first then that thought brings upon a change in our breathing and the breathing in turn creates a reaction in our body. The breathing is but a bridge between thoughts and our physical body. Observe your breathing and you will find that thoughts without the aid of breathing can not go far and soon it will fade away. You can also do Japa in your breathing that will help better concetrate your mind on your breathing.

Also As you walk keep your sight downwards as you continue you Simran. Not so much taht you can't see what is in front of you, but inorder for you to redirect your mind, you must physically restrain your sight from wandering around. Keep fast to your Simran and the thought will fade....remember do not think that you have no one to assist you. If you are Honest in your desire to control you lustful thoughts, then the Guru is there to guide you always. Be aware of when the mind suggest into lust, you will have a choice. Do not create hatred or animosity against your mind...instead learn to be patient and compassioante towards it. It is like your secretary, if you do not wish to speak to it then pay no attention to it, instead smile at the mind and be loving towards it knowing you know what must be done to acheive your task.

sorry i didn't realize how long this thing got.

[DHANBABANANAK]

its kaljug - a sadhu told me only way u can kill this. By meditating to god so much with ur heart. Other say its a test to c, and if u fall for gals den u fail and might start again from scratch

[challenge_everything]

try a few kundalini yoga saadhnas

[Pheena]

try a few kundalini yoga saadhnas

more info please :!:

[Guest]

more info please :!:

Yes i like to know more about this too!.

Btw pheena you gave excellent reply.

I wonder if kaam is probably most mahabali out of all vices..notice how in gurbani and sikh gyanis, mahapursh mentioned kaam always first then others and how they are in stories of big big sadhu (tapasya karan wale) slipped and gave it all way to kaam...makes me thinking really.

Kaam is probably strongest maya out of all that maharaj himself created in his hide/seek leela.

[Amrikingh]

Osingh, it takes some courage to bring out a problem like that

welldone

and i think all the guys on sikhportal have the urge, lolz

ok seriously, u need to rise above this matter, id take pheenas advice

seriously you should try and look at girls as your sisters, so everytime you see them , just remind yourself that there you sisters , autnities and what not, and hopefully you should spit on the floor with disgust

just pray to waheguru that give the strength to control my desires which makes me go apart from you, keep praying, keep seva up, hopefully you should be getting somewhere

[Sikher]

OSingh, brilliant feeling isn't kor shes fit, haha , when it comes to it look but don't touch but then again if you find a women that is a potential boti go for it get family involved etc.

But watch Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, and watch the part that when the women thinks of the man lustfully, and then kept the thought of him till later, ie: look see experiance, and then mentally let go, difficult because just like you i love timiya too all shapes and sizes.

You can't loose lust or beat it its a controlled thing ! If you have no lust how you going to have kids or keep the spark!

[HeyDudesWassup]

The fire breath used in Kunalini yoga also definitely works for me.

----

Breath of Fire will entirely charge the nervous system, causing the glands to secrete and purify the blood. When it is done with certain postures and movements, which are meant to put contracting (drawing in) or expanding (releasing) pressure in nerve plexuses and glandular centers, those areas are made to fire and become completely charged.

As an area becomes charged, the sexual (seminal) fluids are released into the bloodstream and flow to those charged areas, so that gradually those areas will maintain that charge and pranic pressure builds throughout the body converting Bindu (Tamasic and Rajasic energy) to Ojas (Satvic energy), which fills and permeates the entire body and mind.

---------

more info:

http://www.kundaliniyoga.org/pranayam.html

[Har Naal Pyar]

its great to read that some veers like timia all shapes and sizes.

shame though that we have begun to look at women as anything but our sisters.

everyone else is so lustful so we feel no shame to continue the way we are, well done to O Singh for admitting to this and wanting to control it whereas our other veers think its ok as long as u don't touch.

I don't think the great sikhs of the past looked at women like we do today and if they did they certainly weren't proud of it else they wouldn't be part of the Khalsa the Pure!

[Mekhane'ch Jannat]

If an individual has no lust, wouldn't that make it a bit difficult to "get it up" Sorry to be so crude, but as sikhs we are meant to live as householders, so part of household life is the art of pleasing your wife, if you have no lust how can you satisfy the needs of your wife.

Observing the feeling in a detached manner, as one poster commented, seems to me as a schizophrenic way of dealing with lust. Because you are splitting your mind into two, at first, careful you don't become a schizo if you take this option.

I like sikhers post, why complicate matters, every man likes a nice fat ass, why fight it. A womens arse is made by God, so by lusting after it you are doing pooja to it, which is indirectly pooja to god. Lust is a worship to him who can do anything, he can make you lust after anything, and not lust after everything.

[Guest]

Thank you for your post, : Mekhane'ch Jannat

Just an suggestion, let's be little less open (usage of free words) next time when it comes to this issue...the thing is lot of kids use this forum to my knowledge last thing we want is - kids misinterperting your advice and telling their parents what they have fetched from Sikhawareness Forum..lol...i m afraid parents won't be that pleased

[Mekhane'ch Jannat]

i apologise, i will be more careful in the future, please feel free to edit my post to make it more suitable.

[Har Naal Pyar]

I thought as sikhs we are supposed to control lust and not check ou eachothers mothers backsides.

Yes we are supposed to live in a family, love your partner, express it, but I find it difficult to think that Gursikhs check out other ppls backsides, how about sticking to your partner's?yeah?

I can understand lust but not lusting over a certain person and concentrating your thoughts on that person body. I think a sikh should not even imagine themselves in bed with another and that's not just my view but I read somewhere its a massive sin in sikhi and I thought as we are on a sikh forum we may as well discuss the sikh view.

I think when sikhs rescued the beautiful women from the moghuls they returned them without checking them out first, and as far as I know they were human, but maybe more importantly they were SIKHS.

Concentrate ur thoughts on ur future or present partner if u have one.

[Mekhane'ch Jannat]

What difference is their between lusting after your wifes backside, or another womans. In my mind their is none.

In each case a backside is being viewed by a sensory organ (eyes). This sensory organ creates an image of a backside. The backside due to past mental impressions and previous memories, invokes a pleasurable feeling - lust. This event is made up of the knower (backside viewer) known (backside) and the knowing process. This threefold event in pure sat, is one event, it is god. The feeling of lust is due to the impurity of our buddhi not being able to reflect pure sat inside it.(or a lower level of pure sat). Due to mental impurity (compared to sat) we see things as different, when in sat they are not different.

BUT we live in society we are not recluses, so we must follow dharam or righteousness,---- take from that what you think is right with regards to womens backsides.

[double_edge]

LOL..

this has turned into one of the funniest threads i've ever read..

Reminds me of a song, the title of which i wont post here

[Har Naal Pyar]

so there is dharam in all this?

to view everyone as one?to be physically attracted to all?

that is a very disturbing view for a sikh to have in my opinion but if u wrote that as human then i guess its different and not wrong because different standards are expected.

[Pheena]

If an individual has no lust, wouldn't that make it a bit difficult to "get it up" Sorry to be so crude, but as sikhs we are meant to live as householders, so part of household life is the art of pleasing your wife, if you have no lust how can you satisfy the needs of your wife.

You do not need to light your house on fire to keep warm...just a spark is necessary and a spark that is well under control. If you have such confidence in your mind that it will not get out of hand then there are no worries. If it is irrelivent to you if you have sex or not, then no worries, just be cautious that it does not become a necessity. But is such the condition of average joe? I think not. Give the mind an inch, it'll take a mile. There was a small story of Raja Janak who was engaged in kaam while a Saint came by to request his presence..im not too sure of the entire story...perhaps Neo can post it, last i remember it was he who posted it.

Observing the feeling in a detached manner, as one poster commented, seems to me as a schizophrenic way of dealing with lust. Because you are splitting your mind into two, at first, careful you don't become a schizo if you take this option.

I take it you never experienced your feelings without being attached to them. Perhaps you should and then conclude if it makes you a schizo or not. I certainly feel fine and as do many other who i've talked to. You are not emotions that rise and fall. To be in constant awareness of yourself and of the mind as not you is not a illness rather it is something worth experiencing and perhaps even essential in growing spritually detached from the mind.

I like sikhers post, why complicate matters, every man likes a nice fat ass, why fight it. A womens arse is made by God, so by lusting after it you are doing pooja to it, which is indirectly pooja to god. Lust is a worship to him who can do anything, he can make you lust after anything, and not lust after everything.

You are playing with fire here. Although your intentions are good to percieve the Godliness in every act, but caution must be used. Even the art of Tantra envokes 'controlled' methods. you must be carefull when you relax the leash of the mind...it has far more experience in deception than we think. Without a proper guide such word could cause more harm than good.

[vijaydeep Singh]

Gurfateh

Like hunger for food is Kam or lust for food so is lust for Sex.It is in built.

So no need to have guilt complex of natural things.Dharama or rightoisness comes when we see food of otehrs while being hungery but do not eat as it not meant for us.

So desire may come to your doorstep like that desire for food.but second thought that it is not rithiuos for us to have it removes that evil.Guilt which was to be done is undone.

your seeking help from Sangat itself proves that you have won the battle so far.

anyway fi you are unmaaried you can think of getting married. otherwise if you donot want the same then eat less,sleep less and do tirieng physical exicsrsie in free time.And do read Gurbani.

There is nothing Unnatural in you so far.Some time das also feels attracted towards girls.At that time by mercy of Akal das may get this thing in head that there is n o differant between that lady and das as Akal is there and here and inbetween then what lust to get something already in you.This body and that body are false as will decay.But again all in hand in Akal.

surrender yourself to God and let God take overall control.

[Mekhane'ch Jannat]

There is not a universal way of following the spiritual path, each persons way is different. In my posts i proposed a different approach, albeit in a slightly forthright way, purposely to go against the grain of previous posts.

My belief (its only that) is that first an individual should foster devotion for God, and because of this devotion he/she becomes detached from worldly pursuits/ambitions. Not the other way around. I am not saying go around doing what you feel like (Do what thou Wilt shall be the whole of the Law - Aleister crowley) But excercise common sense, and live in society, participating fully. Cultivating purposeful detachment from worldly activities, can have harmful effects, and must be effected accordingly to the individuals psychological makeup. Detachment should be spontaneous not purposeful. This spontaneity comes about from the bliss that devotion to god gives a person, so wordly lusts seem drab by comparison.

The above paragraph is my personal view and is another option to the ones proposed by others. For some people purposeful detachment may be good, for others they may need to satisfy their lust so they can concentrate on God (with lust eventually becoming nothing compared to god bliss). Existence is pluralistic, his manifestation is amazingly varied, no two people are the same, The sadhanas for each and every sadhaka is also different. Each individual needs to make his own way, it helps a person if he gets views from different viewpoints, to make his own decsions in life. I offered a different paradigm for dealing with lust.

[Mekhane'ch Jannat]

Quote:

Observing the feeling in a detached manner, as one poster commented, seems to me as a schizophrenic way of dealing with lust. Because you are splitting your mind into two, at first, careful you don't become a schizo if you take this option.

I take it you never experienced your feelings without being attached to them. Perhaps you should and then conclude if it makes you a schizo or not. I certainly feel fine and as do many other who i've talked to. You are not emotions that rise and fall. To be in constant awareness of yourself and of the mind as not you is not a illness rather it is something worth experiencing and perhaps even essential in growing spritually detached from the mind.

Maybe becoming a schizophrenic is essential for spiritual growth? Being a schzophrenic is only considered an illness, in the world we live in now. We need to be aware that our ideaologies are conditioned by the capitalistic society we live in. Issues like mental illness have been marginalised and pushed outside of acceptable social norms. Whereas in socities not influenced by western post enlightenment values, this is not the case. Certain spiritual paths or ways are not acceptable to western society because they do not fit into social norms. Now i have a problem with modern "spirituality" books that repackage elements of certain religious traditions and present them to western audiences as cures for the "materialism" of the west. But what they choose to include are aspects of those traditions that, comply with the capitalistic machine to ensure that an individual is a productive unit. That is why with me non-sikh "spiritual" books have to be authentic i.e. written within a tradition, it is also important for me to understand the environment in which the text was written to gain a better appreciation of it. Most laypeople cannot be bothered to do this, they want a quick fix, they want consumables, they want comfort. It is ironic that the economic environment we live in has created this need for spirituality, and is itself repackaging spirituality, as a means to keep the worker units productive.

Sorry to go off on a tangent, but just to sum up, people please be aware of the world we live in, it is immensly deceptive it is like another maya already on top of the other maya, so very difficult to stay on the true path.

[OSINGH]

sum interesting replies, as for trying to stop my lust via yoga, havnt tried it however i do go gym regularly and take out sum aggression there (imagine how bad it would b if ididnt go gym!)

i think things like the half naked girls at uni are aiding to my lust problems, but then i again i should hav the power to stop/control the lust.

2 b honest i think i need to get married!

[Sikher]

Thats why in the dals and traditonally people would get married, young, ie: 1) control your kaam level 2) to build the family life cycle 3) also in those days of battle the father may have been killed in war, hence, next generation would have to be brought up by the khalsa mothers

i know my own, nunna (grandfather) was married aged 14 to my bibi who was like 11 then she moved into our house when she was 16, reason also being that her habits and mannerisms would mould with the family, as unfortunately these old marriage customs don't happen today, hence we have issues in peoples livings and ideals of marriage, (BOLLYWOOD doesn't help )

of the tangent again, but i feel relevant

[Pheena]

Maybe becoming a schizophrenic is essential for spiritual growth? Being a schzophrenic is only considered an illness, in the world we live in now. We need to be aware that our ideaologies are conditioned by the capitalistic society we live in. Issues like mental illness have been marginalised and pushed outside of acceptable social norms. Whereas in socities not influenced by western post enlightenment values, this is not the case. Certain spiritual paths or ways are not acceptable to western society because they do not fit into social norms. Now i have a problem with modern "spirituality" books that repackage elements of certain religious traditions and present them to western audiences as cures for the "materialism" of the west. But what they choose to include are aspects of those traditions that, comply with the capitalistic machine to ensure that an individual is a productive unit. That is why with me non-sikh "spiritual" books have to be authentic i.e. written within a tradition, it is also important for me to understand the environment in which the text was written to gain a better appreciation of it. Most laypeople cannot be bothered to do this, they want a quick fix, they want consumables, they want comfort. It is ironic that the economic environment we live in has created this need for spirituality, and is itself repackaging spirituality, as a means to keep the worker units productive.

Sorry to go off on a tangent, but just to sum up, people please be aware of the world we live in, it is immensly deceptive it is like another maya already on top of the other maya, so very difficult to stay on the true path.

I don't have much to comment on you above thoughts...but i was simply pointing towards Observing the Mind...and no imo you do not become a Schizo because you are not dividing your mind by observing with one part and the other being the observer. You are stepping back from thought/mind altogether. As for this method being westernized, i do not believe that to be such. Please take a look at Vipassana.

http://www.dhamma.org/vipassan.htm