lostsikh

I hope i understand that the consequences of my actions are bad when ever i have a pervert attack. And look twice in the mirror and contact the crisis line that these are thoughts voices that are going on. 

2 hours ago, dalsingh101 said:

How long before this twat gets secretly filmed/pictured and blackmailed? 

Thats a really good point which i have never thought about at all. 

56 minutes ago, PCSJZ said:

I dont want to jump to conclusions but sounds like you’re just trolling. Reason is because every post you come out with something new you are doing.

First it was porn, then webcam, then hookers, then death videos, then nail polish, liking men etc etc.

Its your life and upto you what you do but dont do it in Sikhi saroop. It is an honour to have Amrit and be in full saroop, dont take the piss out of it. Our father Guru Gobind Singh ji sacrificed everything for Sikh, dont drag it through the mud.

if you really need help then there is plenty available and focus on fixing yourself up. Once sorted then you can think about amrit and everything else.

I mean the sexual stuff is wrong i am now understanding it.

But to me the death suicide beheading executions videos are not wrong at all as its the world that made me like this loving death. I mean death vids are the best i have watched once more than 20 in a row of both suicide and beheadings.

I mean surly if this dirty filthy side didn't exist for me i would be happy. But death vids are way better plus i don't have to pay for any of the material.

12 minutes ago, GurjantGnostic said:

Love you bro. Hang in there. Persevere. Love yourself and work on yourself, just remove the leadership attire until you can lead. 

33 minutes ago, dalsingh101 said:

And if he goes on to be another one of these perverts, you need your head bashed in for your shyte advice.

https://www.yorkshirepost.co.uk/news/crime/ringleader-huddersfield-grooming-gang-amere-singh-dhaliwal-jailed-life-men-handed-220-years-556366

 

 

I'm a million miles away from amrit myself, someone like this is a billion miles away. You must be another degenerate or apologist for them.    

 

You got any daughters, sisters, nieces? Or given this bhundhus inclinations sons or nephews? Let him hang around with them. Twat. 

I am a disgusting human being i have even looked at men walking down the street and finding myself attracted to them. I am a big filthy excuse of a human. 

32 minutes ago, GurbarAkaal said:

Hi lostsikh,

Big respect for your strength in being honest about the situation, it's not easy seeking help.

If you are serious about making progress with Sikhi, make use of the coming days. Go along to an amrit sanchar, as there are many planned, and fold your hands in-front of the panj pyare. Be honest, tell them you are struggling a lot with kaam and wish to work towards taking amrit (in the coming months or year). Their advice, blessings and guidance will be a huge help to you.

Forums can give good advice, but in-person support is probably more useful. Panj pyare are the roop of ever compassionate Pita ji Sahib Sri Guru Gobind Singh Ji Maharaj. Having darshan of tyar bar tyar panj Singh will have a big impact on your life. They were  beginners too once and will show you a lot of patience and love. Try to get their contact to stay in-touch with them. Attending Vaisakhi divaans will help build inspiration and thirst towards Sikhi. Having darshan of fellow sangat taking amrit will inspire you too.

At discretion of the panj singh they may allow you to receive a choola of amrit, which will give you a taste of the amrit ras contained within us

Just my 2 cents. Take care, good luck ji

Thats really nice and good advice my fellow bro. I hope it comes true as i have deceived myself along with my identity. I feel really bad after i commit a sin that its like a loop circle. 

11 minutes ago, dalsingh101 said:

Degenerate c**t, don't you have a mother? F**k your sob stories. 

 

Gundhaa ganduaa. You have to help yourself instead of putting it on others. What do you expect people to do? Stop you every time you have one of your pervert outbreaks? Go f**k yourself.  

 

You are 100 percent right i am all of these things as i need to look in the mirror before i ever do those pervert acts

I feel like everyone is against me on here . I mean i am gonna try to improve myself as i haven't looked at porn or any related material since a week now

17 hours ago, GurjantGnostic said:

Feel for you friend. I don't wear dastar because I feel lacking. Hang in there and Jaap Naam bro. 

8 hours ago, dalsingh101 said:

I agree, we all struggle with kaam and some of us, aggression, but there are different levels to this, and this guy - wearing girly stuff, seeing hookers, doing gandu shyte all whilst wearing dasmesh pita's uniform is next level. 

A few decades ago, some people here would've battered him for what he's doing if they knew about it. Given his trajectory, where else is he going to go - wearing Khalsa roop too.

Should he not take it off?  

I am a sinner i admit. I am a false sikh and i hide my dirty secrets from the world. But i need help with my problems. 

45 minutes ago, dalsingh101 said:

Listen c**t, I think you've had enough time to try and find some solutions to your 'issues'. You want to stop making excuses and disrespecting the roop like that.

If you can't - cut your kesh.  

Get lost. 

 

42 minutes ago, dalsingh101 said:

^^^^

 

This is a clear example of why people shouldn't force their kids to keep kesh, if the kids aren't suitable for it. 

41 minutes ago, GurjantGnostic said:

Heck some homeless are Keshdhari ish but yeah the Dastar is a crown. 

You are right i am a c**t especially as i wear the dastar and i am using hookers,webcams,pornos, phonelines etc. And recently i have even started to wear nail polish and started to watch gay stuff now as well. You know how embarrassing it is when to buy Viagra from the chemist as i feel really sad when I have to go to the shit that i do

I also want to take amrit as well but these voices urges kick in then its horrible.

43 minutes ago, dalsingh101 said:

So you're seeing hookers with a full roop on.......

 

What country you based in? From your use of the phrase 'escorts' I presume US or Canada? 

Yes its wrong i know what i am doing its disgusting behaviour especially as i wear seeing them a full beard and turban.

I live in the UK and its shameful that i have done the things i have been doing.

7 minutes ago, dalsingh101 said:

Well fix yourself up, and stop doing our heads in with your gundh. I don't blame SS for banning you. I have relatives with OCD, they don't do what you do!

Are you keshdhari btw? 

True you are right bro i do need to fix up. Especially the gundh i come up with is sick i admit. Its just the death vids that i don't want to give up as i feel i am in love with them.

I keep my full kesh no shaving or cutting and wear a turban. But still sikhsangat should give me a chance as i like that site.

21 hours ago, GurjantGnostic said:

Well... that's supposed to cover schizo and depression. Have you considered that it might be opression?

I don't know to be honest as i still love watching those death vids a lot. Plus i don't know what opression means. I try to stop the voices when it comes to the sexual stuff in my head as thats torture 

7 hours ago, dalsingh101 said:

Every few years you pop up on the forum with the same old stuff. Have you made no progress in all these years? 

Have you considered that you might be using the excuse of these 'voices' to do what you want?  

True bro i am banned from sikhsangat from even registering. Those people running it are scum. Its all true the pyscharcist said i got ocd and am stuck in the past due to the ptsd.

You are right i am misusing the voices as a excuse especially the behaviours i display 

1 hour ago, dalsingh101 said:

Have you been to a psychiatrist about the voices? What they prescribe? 

Yes i have seen psychiatrist about it and they have given me cariprazine and  .paroxetine But still i get urges of sexual stuff and death vids

On 4/1/2023 at 12:48 AM, singh77777 said:

also think how many other beings them escorts have also shared themselves with

n their spiritual state

 

I hope Waheguru pulls you out this rut ">

I heard about how that as well especially as i usually the reviews on a website 

On 4/1/2023 at 6:55 PM, dalsingh101 said:

Bang on point!

At work you meet guys who've shagged some skank and now have STDs. That poster should think about having some persistent virus/bacteria/fungicide growing on his 'crown jewels'. 

You are right i agree with you. I do need to think a lot about this but then i hear loud voices which are scary to be around. STDs are a scary thing but the voices are worse asking me to look at the stuff i do

On 3/30/2023 at 6:15 AM, GurjantGnostic said:

Focus on what you are in control of bro. Like Naam, water, vitamins, herbs, clean food to aid your prostate you keep abusin ji. It's alright man. There's an honesty to prostitutes. 

Forgiven? Absolutely bro...but how about free?  You want freedom from it?  Pray and work hard and jaap naam and keep going full force in ither directions. Don't get caught up on sin. Just get caught up on Naam and discipline. 

Thanks brother your advice is correct compared to the mad nazis on sikhsangat who will let me sign up for the site.

On 3/30/2023 at 7:24 AM, PCSJZ said:

Jap naam veer. That is all the advice I can give. I used to work the doors years ago, my entire life was based around drink/drugs/women for a good few years. I lived on my own which meant there were zero restrictions. You can probably imagine where my mind was at all the time.

Then started on this path and all I can say is when you jap naam, everything starts to fall into place. Dont force anything, everything happens at its own pace. Just chant and take each day at a time. If you make a mistake, no problem, do an ardas to Waheguru, ask for forgiveness and carry on. Slowly but surely all these negative thoughts will stop. Naam is too powerful, nothing negative can stand in its way, it just takes time and effort on your part.

Thats my experience anyway. 
 

All the best.

Beautiful advice brother i am hoping this will help me. 

Nowdays i have even started to watch gay porn vids along with suicide, beheading material as well. I look at someone to then straight at the throat to strike them like in the vids. 

My desire for sex is still there especially as my last punt didn't go to plan as i wanted it to. 

On 3/30/2023 at 5:09 AM, AmanSingh7 said:

https://www.vidhia.com/Bhai Randheer Singh Ji/Unditthi-duniya.pdf

 

read this book bhai sahib

Thanks for the link bro i will look at it 

Well i am back now everyone. I am feeling more of a wreck now more than ever especially since i have visited quite a few escorts and one yesterday for which i am now hearing voices about how bad it i have sinned. My moods are at a all time low now. I can't even get a erecation hard on without taking Viagra for sex due to the pills i am taking. Will i ever be forgiven for this sin ? Will anyone from the sangat help me ?

I found this video on facebook today and i couldn't stop laughing. I was so shocked it was a Sikh couple. Its amazing and i don't know what to say.

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=520235728325787&id=494635264219167

16 hours ago, Soulfinder said:

Veer ji i am glad you have watched this movie as it has many deep messages although it is not a suitable family movie it was very controversal when released as the censor board wanted to ban it. 

 

Anyway i am glad you have watched it and have learned a lesson never to fall in lust,anger,greed,ego and worldy attachments. 

 

You say compared to other posts i mentioned this movie why ?

Cos a friend of mine said its a very good movie of course i have never heard of it back then as i heard of other good hindi movies mentioned by him like Khiladi,Dacait,Krodhi,Ghayal,Mohra,Sadak,Shakti, Hukmat etc to watch. He mentioned this movie Red Rose saying it was a very good, so when i watched it was a completely different type of movie to be made in bollywood as compared to the other movies mentioned. 

 

Although Das has cut down a lot on movies,tv serials it was a few years ago as i wanted to a watch a movie.

 

So anyway as Das had read quite a few of the Chirtars from Chirtarpikayan the stories from it made more sense as this movie showed and displayed it in many of the key moments. 

 

So i am glad you have watched it and it should lead to a new direction.

Bro thanks this movie has impacted me a lot and i feel clearer today compared to before 

On 01/12/2017 at 11:47 PM, Soulfinder said:

Veer this is going to far now. I normally don't write about these things but as i have read these posts all i can say read Charitropakhyan in english. I know i shouldn't say this but i watched a bollywood movie a while back which is not suitable for a family film. It has similar themes to this bani like characters wise. I watched it after reading the charitars and i was shocked and made me believe the writtings even more. This is not suitable for everyone so caution is adviced. Watch the movie and i hope it will show what happens when you have finished the movie or anyone here who is struggling with kaam. If anyone has watched the movie please share your views on it as we need to help our lost brother from a paap.

 http://m.imdb.com/title/tt0156014/

 

http://sridasamgranth.blogspot.co.uk/2014/02/charitropakhyan.html?m=1

 

https://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=http://www.globalsikhstudies.net/pdf/Chritro%20pakhyaan%20Vol%20II.pdf&ved=0ahUKEwiDltWL_-nXAhVDyRQKHa67CEM4HhAWCDMwBg&usg=AOvVaw1n6LUE0IHZ-b8kH7GNPG1m

 

 

Bro thanks a lot out of all the movies i have seen they have made me more lustful with songs and on screen kaam.

However as you judging by your posts seem a highly religious person gave a recommendation of this movie i thought lets watch it. 

As i have just watched it without spoiling the great movie. It showed me never to fall in love with anyone as kaam is a hell and worse the movie as a anti love story rather than promoting love stories. 

Although it is quite ahead and unsuitable for a family film it hits hard the message.

The way it is made has showed me never to ever look at a girl ever again in a lustful way. 

Bro you have opened my eyes with this movie. From now if i love the main character from the movie i will never desire love from lust kaam but from Waheguru.

Thanks from the bottom pits of my heart. I will aslo try to read the chirtars you have posted when i get a chance.  

5 hours ago, paapiman said:

@lostsikh - Hope you read the experience shared by the brother below. If not, please read.

 

Bhul chuk maaf

Bro thanks its so nice to read and uplifting as it shows the nasty side to what i wanted. Very hard hitting read.

5 hours ago, paapiman said:

Bro, you cannot justify one sin with another one.

Are you sure you will become an Amritdhari after fulfilling your desire? Those people who do drugs, con people, etc and then later become Amritdharis, how much do you know about them? Maybe they have way more Kamai (spiritual merits) than you from previous lives. Do you know how much Kamai you have? What if all your Kamai ends with your proposed sinful act? Have you ever thought about this?

We even don't know if we will be alive the next moment or not. Have you ever thought - what if you die after committing this sin? What is going to happen to you in the court of Dharam Raj? Are you ready for brutal punishments for the sake of a pleasure of few moments?

 

Bhul chuk maaf

Bro you are right. I however had thought that like after a shoot off over porn cam i go back to normal. So i thought it will be like that in out thing and me following sikhi.

Believe me if this desire is out of my system if done i will be free and became amritdhari fully. But i could be addicated to escorts after like drugs. 

Also it does sound scary to burn my karmas especially good ones .