CdnSikhGirl

Yup I learned what perseverance means, and now I have several good friends on here. Now I just laugh at those who want to give less rights to Singhnis. They are truly the ones who are lost. 

56 minutes ago, Kaalka said:

OMGGG MEHNDI

JEWELLERY 

DECORATED SUIT 

...

OMGGG  TIED UP BEARD

NO VISIBLE GATRA 

Jewelry is not against Rehet Maryada, though piercings specifically are. And yes I had a tiny bit of mehendi on only my finger tips (my nieces on my husband's side wouldn't take no for an answer so I let them do just a tiny bit. If you notice I have none on back of my hands and no designs).
Decorated suit, there is no problem! He had beadwork all on his sherwani too! 
Yes he ties his beard. Not all the time though. But he is used to it because of work / safety reasons.
Our both gatras are under our suits. I don't think there is anything saying gatra must be visible?? Just that it must be worn. Sometimes I wear over and sometimes under. IN case of anand karaj, since we were matha tekking numerous times, to keep it from swinging around, we both wore under. 

6 hours ago, Rock said:

@CdnSikhGirl   Did you hear those sounds again, or was it one time thing ? Sorry, if its too personal . :)

Unfortunately no :( I have had the other sound like rushing static, electricity type sounds but the bells happened only that once. And I was a bit freaked out by it at the time to really analyze the experience. 

4 minutes ago, amardeep said:

Who says its a sin? I  think most people who are against it is because they are not used to seeing it.

Here...

10 hours ago, kdsingh80 said:

My grandmother was also against women wearing turban , the sewapanthi samprada which had influence in their area was dead against that. She told me once a woman came under influence of AKJ's and wore turban when she visited the sant s they were shocked , they scolded her and told her its a sin 

1 hour ago, amardeep said:

Satkirin: it has nothing to do with women being inferior.. Did the Guru make women inferior by giving them the name kaur instead of Singh? no

I wasn't talking about the idea of it being not mandatory... I was talking about the suggestion that it is considered a big SIN if a women DOES tie one!  Why would it be a sin?? If something is considered a sin, then there must be something inherently against spirituality by the action being labeled a sin.  That means that to suggest its a sin means women donning a part of the Khalsa uniform, is seen as sinful.  Why? 

41 minutes ago, kdsingh80 said:

They believed that Turban was mainly for men as apart from few warrior singhnee's hardly any other sikh women wore it,they also believed that Guru's made dastaar compulsary for men not women so there must be reason.This is all I was told and it was word of mouth so it could be wrong but one thing was clear that some sampradaye's did not like women dressing like men

I would say the post by Guest below is quite accurate... If they view us as inferior to them spiritually and here as a punishment, no wonder they would be pissed off if a lowly woman dressed like a man as they would see it as us not accepting our lot in life.  SImilar to those guys who fake being in the military and wearing medals they didn't earn... I'm not surprised that there are Singhs who think like this after some of the comments I have read on here before. 

8 hours ago, Guest said:

No doubt. Some sampardas (still) view women as being inferior due to periods and other reasons think it blasphmous if a woman tried to be in image of Guru Gobind Singh Ji. Having periods (dirty) and being physically weaker is because they are being punished for past karma. That is why they are also dead set against women in the punj pyaras. It has nothing to do with no woman giving her head that day as suggested by some. It has to do with women being spiritually inferior to men. Thats the only reason it is seen as a sin for them to tie a turban. (Otherwise its just a piece of fabric worn to cover and protect the keshas.) Because its seen as a woman trying to usurp a higher spiritual position than she is, and not accepting her punishment. Women need to wait until they do enough bhagti and be reborn in a male joon to do religious things. Otherwise, they should focus on serving their husband and raising children only. They should remain quiet, and not try to pretend to be men (pretending to be higher spiritually than they are) and just accept they are here under punishment in this joon.

 

Did you know turbans of differing styles are worn by women all over the world?? African continent many women do, Jewish women also wear a tichel which is very similar in structure (and hence same look in how it frames the face).  Historically, and outside India, women DID tie turbans of all sorts! And nobody ever thought it made them look like men. So Sikhi is not the only religion / group to tie turbans, and Sikhi definitely does not have a monopoly on it.  

While I agree certain turban styles might not look good on women, like patiala shahi... the round turban / gol dastar and dumalla (not full dumalla but the smaller one) look perfectly fine on women, and no they don't make women look like men. 

Also as you know women are barred currently from performing kirtan at darbar sahib. It has already been stated that when a female jatha will finally be approved to do so, it will be a requirement for them to tie turbans to perform kirtan there. But let me guess, you are probably against women performing kirtan too...

Sorry these below are single images showing both males and females, but you can see how many are women...

12 minutes ago, Kaalka said:

So I'm not the only one LOOOOOOLL

Apparently... and there is nothing funny about your attitude. You are very unsikh like. Sorry to say.

7 minutes ago, Guest said:

Sikh women just started wearing turbans since AKJ and this neo Sikh mentality sunk in. Look at bhagat Singh's mom and ask other real sardar families none of their women wore pags. There are instances where people like Mai Bhago did though but that has occurred w rajput women as well and only at the time of war or a last stand. Women have never worn pags 24/7 as these neo Sikh women do. Sikh women wore bindiyan and mehndi and surma too. Men wore earrings and jewellery as well. This new Sikh rehat maryada you keep trumpeting is a new construct. You need to wake up. 

Did you even read my post??? 

TAKSAL Maryada and NIHANG Maryada BOTH state that males AND females have to tie turbans. I said that Sikh Rehet Maryada says its optional. The sampardas that all of you keep touting as being around since Guru Jis time... THEY require women to tie turbans!!!! And yes AKJ does too! But even AKJ has been around for long enough now to be a big part of Sikh history... 

51 minutes ago, Gunahgar said:

good stuff! So did anyone ask about equality issue ?

Unfortunately... yes LOL. But I knew they would. When I started to tie a turban in uniform, a lot of guys would ask me about my 'hijab' and why did I become Muslim.  When you tell them that Sikhi is entirely different religion than Islam, the next question is always about how Sikhi differs from Islam regards to treatment of women and if Sikhi has equality.  

9 minutes ago, Gunahgar said:

I think you are being a bit harsh bro.  Let them decide what they want to wear as long as it is modest. 

However, the other party ( satkirin) should also not enforce the idea that turban is a must . Some times chunni wearing bibi can be spiritually higher than a turban wearing. :)

 

I never said it was a must. I said SRM states it's optional. However in some rehet maryadas it IS a must. So those taking amrit by those groups have to tie one. AKJ for sure!!! Taksal's maryada says it's a must, as does nihang maryada (and theirs says specifically blue keski). Also Rhetnama of Bhai Daya Singh Ji also says both men and women are to tie one and Guru Gobind Singh Ji's 52 Hukams says everyone must tie one. Take it how you will...

If you take Amrit under Akal Takht's SRM then it's optional.  The very fact that it's in there as being optional means there are Singhnis tying them and that it's not discouraged.  

Kaalka is just voicing his own opinion and he is focusing only on looks, not spirituality. 

1 minute ago, Kaalka said:

Not insinuating, but being blatantly clear. AKAAAL

Well, you will be going against several sampardas rehet maryadas, and also Sikh Rehet Maryada states it's optional so nowhere has it been discouraged for women. In fact it's been the opposite. It's in both Taksal's maryada and Nihang maryada that its required for both male and female. And also AKJ! 

Guru Gobind Singh Ji's 52 Hukams:
35 Dastaar binaa nahee rehnaa|
(doesn't say only men, so women too are required)

"Each candidate for Baptism be made to wear kachhehra, tie hair in a topknot and cover the same with dastaar; wear Sri Sahib (i.e. Kirpan) in Gaatra (shoulder belt). Then he/she should stand with folded hands. (Rahitnama Bhai Daya Singh Ji)

Taksal Maryada:
For the respect of your hair, two turbans are to be tied, tying each layer one at a time.  There should be a small turban tied underneath and a larger one tied above this.  Women must not plait their hair and should keep their hair tied in a bun/top-knot, in order to respect your Kesh a small turban should be tied. 

The Nihang Bibian are dastaardhari, and many contend maintain the original form and discipline of the Khalsa.  Their Nitnem Gutka defines that every Gursikh man and woman (Singh and Singhni is the wording used) should have a blue keski in their hair.

It's fine if you personally won't marry a Singhni who ties one. You can go for a dolled up girl with makeup caked on and jewllery all over, and hairstyles (and most likely hair colour too).  But don't try to dictate what other Singhnis do or the Singhs who actually LOOK for Singhnis who tie dastars! 

Just now, Koi said:

I'm sure that NO ONE is insinuating that a women cannot wear a dastar, are they?

I think that is what Kaalka is insinuating, for the reason (in his opinion) that it "masculinizes" women. 

She also has henna on her hands...

Just now, Gunahgar said:

What is she holding in her hands ?  Kajal or Surma ?

Mehendi.... another NO NO in Sikhi (after amrit anyway)

6 minutes ago, Kaalka said:

This isn't a debate between men and woman, but preventing the masculising of women.

Except... you will likely be the first to also say the BECAUSE women don't have turbans they can't possibly be in the 'roop' of Guru Gobind Singh Ji, and then prevent them from having equal rights in Sikhi.  In fact, how can a woman who doesn't tie a turban even LOOK Sikh at all?  Will people try and squint to see if she has a kara? And even then some Hindus also wear karas.  So how is she supposed to stand out as a Sikh and be different and not seen as a Hindu woman?  Anyway, turbans do NOT masculinize women. 

And it doesn't matter anyway. If you want a Singhni who dresses in skimpy clothing and wears a ton of makeup nobody is stopping you. Luckily my husband was looking for a spiritual partner and not a model. 

Here is news story on the event...

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/nova-scotia/canadian-forces-culture-1.3501122

1 minute ago, Kaalka said:

I have limitless respect and dignity for women. The things they go through and tolerate are easier said than done. The effort they put into the family is beautiful.

My only issue is women should stay women and not attempt to be like men and vice versa.

The turban is and has always been the symbol of masculinity - look at the reference to it in the eastern world.

Something covering your head does not remove whether one is male or female. 

Once you take amrit covering your hair is compulsory AT ALL TIMES.  If you choose to do it with a chunni all the power to you but try doing anything even remotely physical with a chunni on, without strangling yourself! First of all, I am in the military and a chunni would not be allowed for safety reasons - too much hanging loose and doesnt look professional. A turban however is fine.  Also, I like actually doing things and not standing still. Before I started to tie a dastar, I could not keep a chunni on my head!  Even sitting still in the Gurdwara... and not too many seasoned aunties can even keep one on the whole time. They inevitably fall off and need to be fixed constantly.  I can move freely with a dastar.  Also, since I have hugely thick hair, and can't cut it, the ONLY way I can deal with it is to contain it in a turban.  If not, I would look like I stuck my finger in a light socket.... literally.... I am not even joking. The only way I could deal growing up was to cut it short - yes as short as men's cuts.  Or else I was called everything from "afro muffin" to a plethora of other hurtful things because of my hair.  So since I am Amritdhari, the ONLY way I can deal with it is to keep it contained. A chunni would never work... unless or course I tied it like a turban LOL. 

Just now, GurpreetKaur said:

Yea go for it, math gets on our nerves but fun as hell lol. Good thing he is very supportive. 

Wanna help me with Kirchoff's laws etc? LOL actually its not so much the laws themselves as I understand them... but it's following the bloody circuit diagram to figure out each node and each loop.  And then derive the equations from them.

Just now, Kaalka said:

Sh*t like this is fine tho 

yh seems legit

No NOT like those!!!! 

More like this...

1 minute ago, GurpreetKaur said:

 cook, clean, work, give birth to kids, raise them, after marriage look after husband like a baby ( since men cant look after themselves), build men's ego by giving them fake compliments and many more things. 

Don't forget considering yourself as only half-human and considering your husband as God.

Actually I have to disagree with this. My husband can cook (better than I can), my apartment looks like a tornado hit it, my husband is the one who tries to build my ego (no not ego... more like self confidence)  because often I undersell myself.  He can look after himself quite easily and he's way more into doing things like housework and cooking together instead of being served.  I want to pursue broadcast engineering after military is done next year... and he is being hugely supportive.  broadcast engineering is basically electronics technician with the broadcast stuff thrown in (both tv and radio / transmissions).  It's a LOT of math that I have not looked at since high school... eek!  But anyway he is being very supportive. 

Just now, Kaalka said:

Great observation! 

Let's deny the truth for arguement's sake and say his Singhni has a turban, the fact they are in poverty is possibly to moving around due to war.

His singhni may of a turban to give the impression to the enemy that there is 2 Singhs instead of a couple, this way fear is instilled within the mind of the enemy. 

A Khalsa war tactic.

So now you are suggesting that Singhnis were not trained to defend themselves either? (implying she would have been seen as 'weak' and unable to defend herself thus opening them up to an attack?) Need I remind you of Mai Bhago? 

Anyway, Nihung Singhnis were always required to tie dastars.  It's in their maryada. It's also in taksali maryada as well.  So for both those sampardas, women are requried. And since both are supposed to be going back all the way to Guru Gobind Singh Ji's time.... also Mai Bhago was told directly by Guru Ji to tie a turban. It's also in Guru Gobind Singh Ji's 52 Hukams that everyone must tie a turban. (and it does not state only males). 

1 minute ago, GurpreetKaur said:

Why women are not allowed to wear jewelry? But men are.

That's dumalla jewelry that is different... LOL. And yes both can adorn dumalla with them!  shastars kept in their dumallas and dumalla chakars etc.  They are weapons :) 

Just now, BhagatSingh said:

@Gunahgar

Oh I have tons.

That image you are talking about isn't an anomaly. It's a fairly common theme.

So you mean Singhnis can dress in skimpy clothing and show all to the world?? LOL This is news to me! I always thought modesty was expected! No I mean I was TOLD modesty is expected! Why are the sampardas (of which some of you on here are very devout to) claiming that ALL jewelry are a no no if historically Singhnis could wear 10 pounds of gold? Why is modesty preached if historically Singhnis dressed like tramps? (yes, showing your entire stomach and having barely enough fabric to cover your boobs is dressing trampy). Sorry but it is... its proven time and time again women wearing next to nothing (especially in the boobage area) creates objectification of women. In other words, if it's visible men will look and they WILL ogle.