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Lost? Confused? Alone?


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Guest kaur1699

The wind was howling outside. The sky was clear and there was a full moon, which looked like a massive pearl hanging in the sky. There were no clouds to be seen, but stars beyond counting. The night was quite silent except for the howling of the wind which sounded familiar to some ones cry in pain.

Dharmpreet was sitting in her room, silently with the lights switched

off. Five minutes ago she had an argument with her dad over something that meant nothing to her, yet managed to hurt her feelings. She felt sad and alone, repeating what happened in her mind over and over again.

“Gurujee, I know I am not a great example of a Saint Soldier. I know

I’m a bad person with no qualities, so then why? Why do you keep me close as your child? Maharaaj you’re so great, I bow to you over and over again, but forgive me without your blessings of Sangat I feel I am nothing. I keep loosing in the battle against the Panj Chor, Maharaaj I hate this life-take me away!â€

Dharmpreet took a deep breath and a flood of tears soaked her top. She tried thinking of good memories to quieten herself. Flashbacks appeared of the time when she was with Gursikhs and they were having a mad simran session.

In her mind she’d begun repeating Vahiguroo, Vahiguroo, Vahiguroo,

Vahiguroo.She remembered the last time she was with Sangat, it was at Dharm Singhs house, he had a mini Kirtan darbar. The Kirtan went on till three at Amrit vela.

Dharmpreet could still recall the feeling she got of Maha-Anand

hearing Simran Kaur’s Kirtan. To her the night seemed magical. She let out a sigh and another flood of tears came. She couldn’t understand why these thoughts were upsetting her. She had butterflies in her stomach and her mind felt worry, but she couldn’t understand why?

Dharmpreet sat up dragging the Vaja close to herself. The moonlight was bright, that she felt she didn’t need the lamp. Lifting the Amrit

Kirtan she opened to a page she saved earlier, looking steadily at the page, Dharmpreet read:

Prabh Jee tun mero sukh data.

(O dear Lord, you are the giver of peace)

Bandan kaat kare man nirmal, Pooran Purakh bidhata [rahao]

(O perfect Lord, Architect of destiny, has broken my bonds and made me

immaculately pure-[pause])

From reading this shabad, Dharmpreet felt overwhelmed within with

emotions of joy, great sadness and thirst. This thirst was not physical it could only be described as spiritual thirst for the great darshans of Maharaaj.

The Shabad went on:

Gur ka sabad rakhvaare. Choki Jo gird humaare.

Raam naam man laga. Jum lajiye kar paga.

The Guru’s shabad is my saving grace. It is a guardian posted on all

4sides around me. My mind is attached to the Lords name. The messenger of death has run away in shame.

She looked up around her. Everything was still and calm, the room was

lit by moonlight. The atmosphere in the room was peaceful. Dharmpreet looked out the window directly at the bright, round moon.

“Please Maharaaj bless me with your darshans. Quench my thirst. Let me grab hold of your lotus feet. Dispel this great sadness and hold my hand!â€

Dharmpreet remembered a line from rehraas sahib:

Sagal du-aar KO shaad ke. Geho tu-haaro du-aar.

Bayen gayee ki laaj us Gobind daas tuhaar.

She closed her eyes, humming the shabad she was reading. Not noticing

her surroundings. Dharmpreet fell into a deep relaxation mode…with each heart beat she whispered Vahiguroo, Vahiguroo, Vahiguroo, Vahiguroo.

She didn’t know how long she’d been sitting there, but it felt like

forever. The room felt cold a chilled breeze bought Dharmpreet back, she opened her eyes slowly.Everything had changed. She wasn’t in her room. Was she dreaming? Or was everything else before a dream and she just woke up?

Dharmpreet got up and stood silently in one spot. Trying to put what

she was looking at and what she was doing previously into logic.

It was an oval room with five huge oak doors spread around the room

with a metre gap. It couldn’t even be called a room it was just a hall way with five big, brown oak doors each with its own specially carved brass handle.

Something in this hall way felt familiar. She was looking straight

ahead at one of the oak doors. Walking steadily towards it she slowly moved her hand towards the handle. She opened it halfway and crept over the door to see what was on the other side.

To her amazement it was her family. In her mind Dharmpreet thought,

what was going on? They were all sitting there looking at each other laughing.

“Mum, Dad! MANMEET? DAYA!?â€

They couldn’t hear her, they couldn’t even see her. She tried walking

through, but a transparent lining stopped her.

“Hold on why can’t I go through? They can’t even hear me! Is this a

dream? MUM!â€

Dharmpreet stepped back looking at each member in despair. Suddenly

they all looked towards Dharmpreet mechanically they said ‘Sorry’.

She wiped her tears and before she could reach the door it slammed

shut.She looked around in despair; she chose to open the next door on the left. This time the door flung open and there stood in front of her were all her friends. Friends she’s forgotten from Nursery to friends she was close to now. What were they all doing in one room?

Dharmpreet saw her best friends in the crowd.

“Maria? Maria!†Maria turned and Dharmpreet read her lips…’Sorry’.

The door closed. She felt sick and confused to the core. She didn’t

want to know what was on the other side of the other three oak doors, but it seemed she had no choice.

The third door slowly swept open. To Dharmpreet surprise it was no

familiar face. There in front of her stood a lady in a business suite holding a piece of paper in her hands. Slowly Dharmpreet moved forward to see what it was.

It was her exam results and on it was stamped a vertical line of ‘F’s. The lady looked directly at Dharmpreet and begun ripping the paper in to little shreds. On her lips Dharmpreet read ‘Sorry’.

“Why is everyone doing this to me? They say sorry and they leave. I

don’t want to be here no more Vahiguroo please I want to go I hate this dream, Vahigurooâ€

The fourth door flung open and there stood Namdev Singh. With great joy Dharmpreet ran towards it, but once again the transparent lining

stopped her from going further. Namdev Singh greeted her with astonishment she fell into silence.

“I know you must be wandering what is going on, but dear little

Singhnee all answers will come in time. I know you have always looked up at me not only as your brother or role model, but as a spiritual guide. But I’m sorry penji from here on you are alone. Vahiguroo Ji Ka Khalsa Vahiguroo Ji…â€

Before she could catch the whole Fateh the door closed. Leaving the

final, fifth door to reveal itself. With no effort, she stood waiting for the door to open.

She felt upset Namdev Singh has gone leaving her alone once again.Patiently waiting the door never opened. Dharmpreet sat down crossed leg on the floor and broke out in tears.

“Vahiguroo every door closed on me. My family didn’t hear or see me,

they were happy in their little world playing happy families. My friends didn’t see me. What type of friends are they, especially Maria, we shared every secret. I’ve failed my exams. So not only am I family and friendless, I’m an Idiot too! But what hurts the most is Namdev paji left me ALONE why?

They all apologised for leaving me, why! I want them all to with me here forever, O Maharaaj.â€

She dropped her head in the palm of her hands, sulking. She began

singing Vahiguroo, Vahiguroo, Vahiguroo, Vahiguroo. Suddenly this sweet melody began ringing in her ears. The melody was blissful yet magnetic and it was coming from the fifth door. Robotically Dharmpreet got up and walking towards the fifth door. She grasped the handle and turned it. LOCKED. The door was locked. The melody was powerfully magnetic. She started singing Vahiguroo, Vahiguroo, Vahiguroo, Vahiguroo. The door unlocked.

Carefully she turned the handle, the music pulling her still.

The door opened and there stood the most beautiful thing she’d ever

seen. Glowing was every inch of it, sparkling. Attracted to only one part. She kept focus on the ground. All Dharmpreet could see was the Lotus charan (feet). Her beloved was here. Without noticing she was on the ground crying with uplifted joy-

VAHIGUROO, VAHIGUROO, VAHIGUROO, VAHIGUROO.

The sparkling figure spoke with the blissful enchanting melody in the

background.

“Sweet princess Kaur, you finally have come to my door. It took you

some time, but you finally learnt your lesson and you made it.

To come to me, you must leave all other doors, for nobody can bring you nor family, nor friends. They can only help if I will them too. Than it was up to you my child. You made it. You first learnt to love. Love your family, love your friends. With that love you came closer to your faith. Your faith in me. To stay faithful you remembered me by calling my name. That took effort, Warrior princess. But now I will hold your hand and carry your across the world ocean to freedom and then you may become ONE with Akaal Purakh.

You left all other doors to come to my door and now I will take you by the arms, I am your support.â€

Enchanted by the lotus charan and magnetic mellow music, Dharmpreet

fell in a trance of Maha-Anand (great bliss). With each heart beat she repeated Vahiguroo, Vahiguroo, Vahiguroo, Vahiguroo.

It was 3:00am; Dharmpreet woke up and got to her feet. Looking around

in amazement as though she was seeing everything for the first time she looked out the window. The sun was still rising in the horizon. Today was the day she will begin her spiritual journey, for everything in her mind was crystal clear.

Turning to walk towards the door, Dharmpreet stopped and gave a side

glance at the Amrit Kirtan and resumed walking, humming to herself, her favourite shabad:

Prabh Jee tun mero sukh data.

(O dear Lord, you are the giver of peace)

Bandan kaat kare man nirmal, Pooran Purakh bidhata //rahao//

(O perfect Lord, Architect of destiny, has broken my bonds and made me immaculately pure-//pause//)

Gur ka sabad rakhvaare. Choki Jo gird humaare.

Raam naam man laga. Jum lajiye kar paga.

The Guru’s shabad is my saving grace. It is a guardian posted on all

4sides around me. My mind is attached to the Lords name. The messenger of death has run away in shame//1//

Naanak Prabh abinaasi. Tan ki sev Na birthi jaasee.

Anand kare tere dasa. Jap Pooran hoe aasaa.

O Naanak: the eternal imperishable service to Vahiguroo shall never go unrewarded. Your slaves are in bliss. Chanting and meditating their desires are fulfilled //2//4//68//

(Gupt Author)

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