Combating youth violence:Parents, children are real Wealth.

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Combating youth violence: Parents, children are your REAL wealth

By HARBANS SINGH KANDOLA, President of VIRSA, Sikh Alliance Against Youth Violence, Vancouver, B.C. Canada

Over the last 50 years our world has made more economic and scientific progress than the previous 500 years. Modern society is enjoying luxuries our forefathers never dreamed of. The sad fact is that during the past 50 years the percentage of unhappy and depressed people has grown. A recent survey showed that out of the five hundred million people in Europe and North America, over one hundred million are depressed.

The reason for this is a big cultural shift. People nowadays are trying to find happiness in material wealth. It is never enough for greedy people. Recently a psychologist wrote that we have become slaves to material wealth. We like our lifestyle, but we hate our lives. How do we measure success in Western and Punjabi cultures? We measure success with money, status and power. No wonder many of our young boys are involved in drug trafficking in order to become rich overnight. As parents, we are exhausted while our children are neglected.

In SGGS, Guru Amardasji says: "Maya hoi nagani jagat rahi laptaey. Jo iski seva kare tis he ko phir khaey."

We have become rich materially but bankrupt morally. There is so much evidence to show that money can buy you comforts of life, but not peace of mind. Two years ago, the Dalai Lama came here and said: "As human beings, we need minimum life needs but you have all the comforts of life. Why are you unhappy?" Are we in Canada able to buy happiness with material wealth? I guess not. I remember watching the story of two American brothers on T.V. They had everything but peace of mind. One wise man suggested to them that they go serve poor people for a little while. This is what they did for a year. They experienced peace and real happiness for the first time in their life. An American writer named Modino wrote: "When all is said and done, success without happiness is the worst failure of life."

As Punjabi parents, we show our love for our children by working long hours and making more money for them whereas our children need our love, affection and guidance, not money. I understand that we came to Canada for a better life for ourselves, particularly for our children. I also understand that we have to have basic needs of life. But once we achieve that, our priority should be children, not accumulating more money. Otherwise, we loose both our peace of mind and our children. Our real wealth is raising our children to be responsible and good citizens.

Lust for material wealth has led people along the unhappiest path. During 2000 and 2002 there were many scandals in the stock market. These frauds were perpetrated by those who were millionaires. Most of them are in jail. You read the story of Martha Stewart, a very rich woman. Her greed for more money took her to jail. Recently there was a survey done of Canadians who owned ten million dollars or more. They were asked if money has given them happiness in life. Most replied no. They said real happiness came from good family values and a happy and healthy relationship between parents and among parents and children. Research also shows that many lottery winners could not find happiness with all their money.

Guru Arjun Sahib says in Sukhmani Sahib, "Bina santokh nahi ko rajey." I know it is easier said than done, but real happiness comes from being 'santokhi.' My humble advice to all parents is to spend time with your children, show them love and affection, and guide them. They are your real wealth.

For questions and comments please contact us at info@virsa.ca.

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