a translation of laavan, I made for my wedding

[drawrof]

Historical context: one source of history states that the laavan was a sermon that fulfilled 2 purposes in one situation. The guru showed benevolence by getting a poor girl married to a groom without taking money for the service as well as giving a jagyasu (searcher of the soul) an explanation of the requirements to attain union with the Creator. The discourse was given using the wife/husband relationship as a metaphor for the jagyasu/creator relationship.

Main Message: listen to your heart and practice inner contemplation. This motivates good actions.

1. Practical application: The first step of marriage is to be mentally ready and absorbed in your partner with the focus on keeping yourself faithful in every step of the marriage. Practice virtues which develop your marriage and avoid vices which destroy your marriage. When you focus on loving your partner; you will escape other diversions and obstacles which prevent growth in a relationship. When one is absorbed in their partner’s virtues, one receives bliss from the devotion. Guru Nanak says that these are the steps in the first stage of marriage

Second LAAV:

Main message: Recognize and appreciate the virtues the guru has blessed the Sikh (searcher of the soul) with.

Practical application: The second step of marriage is to realize the virtues which make relationships successful. Cultivate virtues that ensure your relationship’s survival. This process eliminates fears and doubts caused by the ego. There is a healthy “fear of loss†that a fulfilling relationship provides, this fear reinforces the need to cultivate virtue. The peace provided by a good marriage carries on into your daily life. Guru Nanak says the resonance/feeling of the second stage of marriage is blissful.

Third LAAV:

Main message: Understand that the mind has developed a deeper yearning for the creator.

Practical application: The third step in marriage is to have a deeper connection and comfort with your partner. Seeing other couples with a deeper connection reinforces one’s own efforts towards working at marriage. One starts to have more faith in the marriage and appreciate it more. The feelings and communication with your partner becomes more sincere. Nanak says that cultivating the deeper relationship is the third duty in marriage

Fourth LAAV

Main Message: Be appreciative of the knowledge and wisdom that has intuitively developed during the cultivation of a relationship with the creator.

Practical application: When one has experienced the bliss of a healthy relationship they become very thankful because this bliss never goes. It is that special feeling which bonds a couple. When one has been blessed with the ability to do all this (As all of these steps happen with the grace of the guru), the couple has attained to the stage of an unbreakable relationship. Nanak says this is the final stage and complete stage of a marriage.

All the above also applies to building a relationship with god.