Insanity

[HisServant]

I hope this isn't just me but doesn't life ever feel pointless? Especially when it comes to consumerism and human interaction. 

 

It seems like either I'm going crazy or everyone else is. All of a sudden it feels as if everything is boring and pointless. Eating, sleeping, showering, having friends, relationships, families, social media, having fun, etc. Especially in my age range the norms that people chase include; finishing school, trying to get married, buying nice cars, going out and having fun with friends. I've tried so many of those things... I even went out and bought an Audi with a manual transmission because I thought it would lead to a bit of a thrill... it's fun on a superficial level but deeper down it also seems so pointless. There are no cares or worries about laws or societal norms either. I don't think I'd ever do something illegal, but even so there is no care about being penalized. Nor is there care about authority. People talk about addictions and impulsions - but I look at that and it all just seems very odd. Then there are people searching for their life's purpose - but even that just seems so irrelevent.

 

During these past few days I've become so bored interacting with friends and family. There's no care or worry about anyone or anything. It's like all of a sudden I just don't give a shit about anything. I am definitely not in depression because there is no sadness but when I google the symptoms it comes up as depression. Spiritually everything seems like it's on track. But now when experiences arise they also seem pointless. This body, this breath, these concepts of dhyaan and inner cleansing... it's as if all titles and labels are gone. 

 

Sadness, happiness, sukh, dukh, anand... all of these come and go but deeper down there's something that just does not care about any of them. I'm not sure if this links with the philophy of advaita vedanta or if I'm just going crazy. If I talk about this around people they tell me to go see a psychiatrist. 

[Soulfinder]

Veer i know how you feel. I myself have felt like i have had a rise and fall during the 10 months due to my health. Trust me i trained myself to do a certain number of bani's but nowdays i will be lucky do even the basic due to all the health problems i have developed in the last 10 months. 

 

I myself felt like there is nothing in this world as i missed my nitnem for 10 days due to my newly dignoised of migraine problem. Those days were so hard believe me i can understand how you are feeling

[HisServant]

19 hours ago, Soulfinder said:

Veer i know how you feel. I myself have felt like i have had a rise and fall during the 10 months due to my health. Trust me i trained myself to do a certain number of bani's but nowdays i will be lucky do even the basic due to all the health problems i have developed in the last 10 months. 

 

I myself felt like there is nothing in this world as i missed my nitnem for 10 days due to my newly dignoised of migraine problem. Those days were so hard believe me i can understand how you are feeling

This has nothing to do with health. Spirituality is on track as well. I beleive it's probably just a personality trait - it may or may not be linked with bhagti. The only thing that concerns me is whether this "no cares given" attitude is dangerous. Sometimes I ask myself, "Should I be worried about finishing school and making money?" "Should I be worried about getting married in the future?" The entire world is racing to be at the top and I just feel myself laying back and relaxing like a spectator. Gurbani says everything is based on karam. So I don't see the point in worrying about anything. 

Like I said before - the only reason why I question this carefree attitude is because everyone else is stressed out over these things. So it gives me the thought that maybe I'm supposed to be concerened about these things. I don't see their stress as a bad thing because what they're chasing is essential for sukh in tregun, survival and reproduction. And I also think being completely careless about these things shouldn't be an issue (keyword is I think). But at the same time I just want to make sure I'm not throwing myself into something that I'll regret 10 years down the road.

[Soulfinder]

31 minutes ago, HisServant said:

This has nothing to do with health. Spirituality is on track as well. I beleive it's probably just a personality trait - it may or may not be linked with bhagti. The only thing that concerns me is whether this "no cares given" attitude is dangerous. Sometimes I ask myself, "Should I be worried about finishing school and making money?" "Should I be worried about getting married in the future?" The entire world is racing to be at the top and I just feel myself laying back and relaxing like a spectator. Gurbani says everything is based on karam. So I don't see the point in worrying about anything. 

Like I said before - the only reason why I question this carefree attitude is because everyone else is stressed out over these things. So it gives me the thought that maybe I'm supposed to be concerened about these things. I don't see their stress as a bad thing because what they're chasing is essential for sukh in tregun, survival and reproduction. And I also think being completely careless about these things shouldn't be an issue (keyword is I think). But at the same time I just want to make sure I'm not throwing myself into something that I'll regret 10 years down the road.

Veer I understand this type of attitude you mentioned is dangerous and i can see where you are coming from

[Lucky]

On 10/28/2017 at 6:55 PM, HisServant said:

I hope this isn't just me but doesn't life ever feel pointless? Especially when it comes to consumerism and human interaction. 

 

It seems like either I'm going crazy or everyone else is. All of a sudden it feels as if everything is boring and pointless. Eating, sleeping, showering, having friends, relationships, families, social media, having fun, etc. Especially in my age range the norms that people chase include; finishing school, trying to get married, buying nice cars, going out and having fun with friends. I've tried so many of those things... I even went out and bought an Audi with a manual transmission because I thought it would lead to a bit of a thrill... it's fun on a superficial level but deeper down it also seems so pointless. There are no cares or worries about laws or societal norms either. I don't think I'd ever do something illegal, but even so there is no care about being penalized. Nor is there care about authority. People talk about addictions and impulsions - but I look at that and it all just seems very odd. Then there are people searching for their life's purpose - but even that just seems so irrelevent.

 

During these past few days I've become so bored interacting with friends and family. There's no care or worry about anyone or anything. It's like all of a sudden I just don't give a shit about anything. I am definitely not in depression because there is no sadness but when I google the symptoms it comes up as depression. Spiritually everything seems like it's on track. But now when experiences arise they also seem pointless. This body, this breath, these concepts of dhyaan and inner cleansing... it's as if all titles and labels are gone. 

 

Sadness, happiness, sukh, dukh, anand... all of these come and go but deeper down there's something that just does not care about any of them. I'm not sure if this links with the philophy of advaita vedanta or if I'm just going crazy. If I talk about this around people they tell me to go see a psychiatrist. 

What you are trying to describe is explained in gurbani, particularly Anand sahib.  Read carefully from pauris 6 onward and especially pauris 10,11,12 onward.

In short, the disassociation, the "so what"... "don't give a hoot"  is because of the association with Naam. Getting attached to Naam means getting detached from maya (Emotionally).  When you start getting attached to Naam and start following this connection, then it becomes the beginning of Bhagat path. This is where Anand sahb says "bhagati ki chaal narali"  because a little later in that pauri it says....

ਖੰਨਿਅਹੁ ਤਿਖੀ ਵਾਲਹੁ ਨਿਕੀ ਏਤੁ ਮਾਰਗਿ ਜਾਣਾ ॥

Kẖanni▫ahu ṯikẖī vālahu nikī eṯ mārag jāṇā.

The path they take is sharper than a two-edged sword, and finer than a hair.

This is similar to the advait vedanta you mentioned above. To walk the path of non-dualism is the very fine line that's not either side of khanda..

 

I can talk a lot  more about it and I know it's a lengthy period of confusion. When i was feeling similar and at times questioning my own sanity, I became at ease after being reassured by a gurmukh. I was told to ask myself and answer if "My mind felt more purified than previous and less clouded ?"    You should ask yourself the same.   

 

SPOILER ALERT!!!  Only after your mind becomes more purified, will your own Jyot (Anoop jyot) become pargat. This is also refereed to as "Jhill mill" because it is this jyot saroop of the mnd that "mils" (merges) with Waheguru jyot

[HisServant]

On 2017-11-08 at 4:09 AM, Lucky said:

What you are trying to describe is explained in gurbani, particularly Anand sahib.  Read carefully from pauris 6 onward and especially pauris 10,11,12 onward.

In short, the disassociation, the "so what"... "don't give a hoot"  is because of the association with Naam. Getting attached to Naam means getting detached from maya (Emotionally).  When you start getting attached to Naam and start following this connection, then it becomes the beginning of Bhagat path. This is where Anand sahb says "bhagati ki chaal narali"  because a little later in that pauri it says....

ਖੰਨਿਅਹੁ ਤਿਖੀ ਵਾਲਹੁ ਨਿਕੀ ਏਤੁ ਮਾਰਗਿ ਜਾਣਾ ॥

Kẖanni▫ahu ṯikẖī vālahu nikī eṯ mārag jāṇā.

The path they take is sharper than a two-edged sword, and finer than a hair.

This is similar to the advait vedanta you mentioned above. To walk the path of non-dualism is the very fine line that's not either side of khanda..

 

I can talk a lot  more about it and I know it's a lengthy period of confusion. When i was feeling similar and at times questioning my own sanity, I became at ease after being reassured by a gurmukh. I was told to ask myself and answer if "My mind felt more purified than previous and less clouded ?"    You should ask yourself the same.   

 

SPOILER ALERT!!!  Only after your mind becomes more purified, will your own Jyot (Anoop jyot) become pargat. This is also refereed to as "Jhill mill" because it is this jyot saroop of the mnd that "mils" (merges) with Waheguru jyot

Your replies are always so spot on.

 

I remember you mentioned something about hearing voices and mumbling once (I couldn't find a link to the post). But this has begun as well. But again the mind does not react to the experience. It's a very careless attitude. The voices are just mumbles, it does not seem like there's a meaning behind the message.

 

Saas giras/saas saas have become so smooth with the breath. All day and night it's on automode. Just like the way the heart beats and the breath flows - gurmantar is on automode. 

 

Sound starts blasting whenever I'm in a quiet place. Esepcially throughout the night. I talked to a few gurmukhs when I was away and they said this isn't sacha shabad yet. I'm under the assumption that it's dev lok shabad because the mind goes into a satoguni state of mind. But during this time is when the intoxication takes over. 

 

In katha gurmukhs always mention that once saas giras/saas saas start going day and night, the next stage is for shabad to start. I'm looking forward to seeing what happens in the next few weeks. 

 

Spending time with sangat and gurmukhs was the best thing I've ever done. Ever since I came back everything has been progressing faster than ever. Going into sunn is so much easier. Life is spent in the present moment and the feelings of shaanti are priceless. The only desire is the desire to go back home and see my father. We need to learn how to live in tregun during the day but go home to our father at night. 

[Lucky]

6 hours ago, HisServant said:

I remember you mentioned something about hearing voices and mumbling once (I couldn't find a link to the post). But this has begun as well. But again the mind does not react to the experience. It's a very careless attitude. The voices are just mumbles, it does not seem like there's a meaning behind the message

I can't recall where i may have mentioned it, but I have a good idea of what they are. Gurmantar should get you whizzing pass them after a few occasions. Then you move on to some higher planes with different sounds.

 

6 hours ago, HisServant said:

Sound starts blasting whenever I'm in a quiet place. Esepcially throughout the night. I talked to a few gurmukhs when I was away and they said this isn't sacha shabad yet.

No, it's not the sacha shabad yet. Sacha shabad is 24/7 and that's the beauty of it.  My explanation is that these blasts and alternating amplitudes are like breakthrough sounds. Breakthrough meaning, the opening and activating of channels/nadis. These help to make way for the sukhmana naree to awaken.

 

6 hours ago, HisServant said:

I'm under the assumption that it's dev lok shabad

There are lots of dev loks and heaven planes. As you go higher and higher, the shabad gets closer. Remember that the shabad comes from Nijh Ghar in amritsar(amrit sarover). Don't get too concerned or mixed up into calling it dev lok shabad, because this may cause you some confusion later. You can pm me, and I can tell you my understanding of what level loks you may be at.

6 hours ago, HisServant said:

But during this time is when the intoxication takes over. 

You are just getting some teasers of intoxication yet. Just think what lays ahead?  There will be days and weeks of constant intoxication where you will not sleep and be wanting to meditate 24/7.  These peaks are out of this world, and your mind shall be celebrating "mann vajiyaah vadainyan"  

 

6 hours ago, HisServant said:

pending time with sangat and gurmukhs was the best thing I've ever done. Ever since I came back everything has been progressing faster than ever. Going into sunn is so much easier

Excellent. Spoken like a true vadhbaghee. I wouldn't get too wrapped up about going into sunn until your foundations are strong. ....I know, ...I wasted so much time trying to rush into sunn samadhis. You wanna strengthen your foundations with gurmantar and the experiences it takes you through. Later, you'll be able to sit down and get into deep meditative states within seconds by going straight into antarghat.

I'd recommend practicing rom rom jugtee with pure heart and energy. Once this gets pargat with kirpa, later stages become more controllable.