paapiman

In this Charitar, the wife controls her husband via jantar and mantar (in addition to her beauty). Therefore, the husband's personality is not the only cause for his unmanly behavior. ਰਾਜਾ ਕੌ ਰਾਨੀ ਬਸਿ ਕਿਯੋ ॥ ਜੀਤ ਜੰਤ੍ਰ ਮੰਤ੍ਰਨ ਸੌ ਲਿਯੋ ॥ Bhul chuk maaf

@amardeep @chatanga1 @Crystal This is the last Charitar in volume 1 of Nidar's book. When will he release volume 2? Is there a way to contact him and ask him about it? Thanks Bhul chuk maaf

Warning: Sexually explicit material below. Daas will kindly request sangat, below the age of 25 or people who are greatly affected by Lust, to stay away from this discussion. It seems from the Charitar that this person actually knew what his wife was up to and still did not reprimand her. Most spiritual/religious/ethical people would abandon such a wife. She is behaving like a prostitute, but still this person is staying with her. Daas might be stretching here, but there are some men out there, who might behave like this fool. There is a psychology behind their thinking. Below are some excerpts from an article (Psychology Today) which can explain this abnormal (unethical) behavior. Quote The Thrill of the Taboo - there are few things in our society as stigmatized as a husband whose wife is unfaithful. Historically, such men have been beaten, ostracized and ridiculed, and regarded as weak, "sissy men." Some of the men I interviewed described explicitly that the taboo was the thrill for them, from the excitement of the forbidden and the naughty. --- The royalty perk - In the 1960's Motown song, the line goes "save the last dance for me," as the husband watches his wife dance with other men. Many of the men I interviewed got a thrill, a sense of being "king" that they had a wife who was so sexy, that other men wanted to be with, but who ultimately came home with him, the husband. It made the men feel powerful and successful, that they had such a sexy wife. Unquote[1] [1] - https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/women-who-stray/201007/why-would-you-do-watch-your-wife-another-man Bhul chuk maaf

Please listen to Gyani Kulwant Singh jee talking about Ustat (praises/lauds), which is another huge hurdle in the field of spirituality. Bhul chuk maaf

I might have seen a coconut at Nanaksar. Daas will ask the Head Paathi, if they keep a coconut (wrapped in a red cloth) or not during Akhand Paaths. Some traditions/rituals are specific to certain sampradas. Like applying of blood to shastars (Nihangs), showering of flowers on Maharaaj (Nanaksar), etc. Excellent suggestion. IMHO, elite Sampradai Gyanis need to get together and compile a granth with all puratan maryadas in it (if it has already not been done). Bhul chuk maaf

ਬਾਂਦਰ ਵੰਡ - Unjust division Bhul chuk maaf

Sangat jee - Please share some sports motivational videos. A warrior mentality can assist a person to succeed in both, sports and in the spiritual field. These videos might encourage us to continue our fight with the vices and keep moving ahead in our spiritual journeys. Bhul chuk maaf

Please listen to Gyani Inderjeet Singh jee Raqbewale talking about a couple of Purantan traditions, which have become rare among the Sikhs. The use of Coconut in ceremonies Applying of Tilak on foreheads/weapons Bhul chuk maaf

Alcohol has been cursed by Shukaracharya (the guru of the demons). Please listen to Gyani Inderjeet Singh jee Raqbewale for the events which led to the curse. Bhul chuk maaf

Quote Following the recent suicide attack that had targeted and killed Sikh and Hindu leaders travelling to meet President Ashraf Ghani in Afghanistan, UNITED SIKHS today called upon Canada's Prime Minister Justin Trudeau and the United States Dept. of State to grant asylum to 300 Sikh families and other minorities living in the region. Unquote[1] [1] - http://www.sikhnet.com/news/humanitarian-ngo-urges-canada-and-usa-accept-afghan-sikh-and-other-minorities-refugees Bhul chuk maaf

@Soulfinder - Thanks for posting this in the other thread. Quote With paath shabad sidhi jaaps a lot of sucham like keshi ishan, fixed timed like same time everyday is involved which is really dangerous as if a bigan day miss of the jaap it can backfire. Also it is best to do these jaap sidhi under a mahapursh or someone who done this jaap before as it is like learning how to drive without a intructor or trainer etc as it can create consequences. I remember a gursikh friend told me how he has seen people trying to do sidhi of Chandi Di Vaar at night time doing parkama around a nishan sahib and smashing a naariyal onto the nishan sahib i think after reading it. So after 40 nights not many could handle it the sidhi and he told me about he saw people whom had electric shock therpy and they still weren't normal. Unquote Bhul chuk maaf

Baba jee (Srimaan Bhagat Baba Dhanna jee) asked for a good wife, not a beautiful one. A good wife doesn't have to be beautiful. What were you thinking, while posting? Sorry for going off-topic. Bhul chuk maaf

Good point. IMHO, a person who is too deep into spirituality should avoid marriage, until and unless he can find a good pativarta istri/Sati. From a different perspective, this type of individual will be a failure in the spiritual realm too, as he is infected with ego. He started considering himself to be a great sadhu due to flattery of one individual (his wife). Now, if he was a Sadhu, just imagine what would happen if many people would start referring to him as a great Saint. This guy would have possibly started feeling that he is the greatest saint of all times. Bhul chuk maaf

Especially for a Grahasti. If a Behangam Sadhu asks for them (things you mentioned), that would be weird. Bhul chuk maaf

Below is a beautiful passage from Sri Chandi De Vaar (Sri Dasam Granth). After the demon Nisumbh dies in the battlefield (fighting against Durga Devi), his elder brother Sumbh pays him tribute. Even though, these guys were demons, but still these verse illustrates bromance between them. Please note: These verses have multiple interpretations. Below is one of them. ਬੀਰ ਪਲਾਣੋ ਡਿਗਿਆ ਕਰਿ ਸਿਜਦਾ ਸੁੰਭ ਸੁਜਾਣ ਕਉ ॥ The great hero (Nisumbh) fell down from the horse-saddle, offering salutation to the wise Sumbh (his brother). Tribute begins: ਸਾਬਾਸ ਸਲੋਣੇ ਖਾਨ ਕਉ ॥ Hail, hail, to the winsome chieftain (Khan). Sampradai Interpretation - Hail, hail to your eating of spicy meats. ਸਦ ਸਾਬਾਸ ਤੇਰੇ ਤਾਣ ਕਉ ॥ Hail, hail, ever to thy strength. ਤਾਰੀਫਾ ਪਾਨ ਚਬਾਣ ਕਉ ॥ Praises to your chewing of betel. ਸਦ ਰਹਮਤ ਕੈਫਾ ਖਾਣ ਕਉ ॥ Hail, hail to thy addiction. ਸਦ ਰਹਮਤ ਤੁਰੇ ਨਚਾਣ ਕਉ ॥੫੦॥ Hail hail, to thy horse-control.50. Bhul chuk maaf

Asking for anything, other than naam, is not encouraged in Sikhi (ਵਿਣੁ ਤੁਧੁ ਹੋਰੁ ਜਿ ਮੰਗਣਾ ਸਿਰਿ ਦੁਖਾ ਕੈ ਦੁਖ ॥). Even a person's job/children, etc, can distract him from Bhagti. But, at times certain things are required to survive in this world and are needed for the chardi-kala of the Panth. Bhul chuk maaf

ਟੀਚਾ ਮਿਥਣਾ - To set a goal Bhul chuk maaf

Is it in Urdu or Shahmukhi script of Punjabi? Bhul chuk maaf

https://www.searchgurbani.com/public/dasam-granth/page/1620 Gurmukhi version of the above: ਸੋ ਜੜ ਪਰਾ ਹਮਾਰੇ ਰਹਈ ॥ ਤਾ ਕੋ ਕਛੂ ਨ ਮੁਖ ਤੇ ਕਹਈ ॥੨॥ Bhul chuk maaf

@angy15 - How many times will I have to ask you the same question? If you don't know, just say you don't. Bhul chuk maaf

Is their a word to express deception which is visible to you, but you cannot do (or wont do) anything about it due to some reason(s)? In this tale, yes, she is deceiving him, but she is also not hiding her despicable acts from him. "Open/Exposed Deception through flattery". Not sure if that even makes sense. @dalsingh101 - Any ideas? Bhul chuk maaf

There is a lack of sexual activity in this tale. How many Charitars have we had so far without any sexual activities? @amardeep There is this one and then the one where lady marks a tattoo on the bum of her coward husband. Any other(s)? Bhul chuk maaf

Connection to the base tale The wise minister might be trying to tell Chittar Singh that as the husband (in this tale) has lost his objectivity due to his ego and is behaving irrationally; so have you lost yours in the love for your wife and are planning to do something very stupid (pronounce death sentence on your own son). Bhul chuk maaf

This Charitar illustrates the ugly side of ego. Nand Mati would praise her husband (feed his ego) and that's all it took for her to control him. He felt elated at being called a Sadhu/Sant, and in the process just ignored the illicit activities of his wife. Sikhs should learn from this tale to never loose their objectivity, even when they are made to feel great about themselves. For example, someone might keep praising you in order to make you feel good/build a good rapport with you and then use you for some ulterior motive of his own. Bhul chuk maaf

According to Nidar, this person (husband of Nand Mati) was a Sikh of Sri Satguru jee (Tenth Master). Bhul chuk maaf