Sikhism And Views On Prostitution

[JourneyToSikhi]

Hello everyone,

I have found myself in a rather unique situation (well to me at least). Let me start by saying that I am not a Sikh, neither am I Punjabi. I recently started a "relationship" with a man who is Sikh (from Punjab). My partner is religious and has told me that at some stage he would like to take Amrit, as a result of this I have made a concerted effort to start learning about Sikhism as it such an important part of his life.

Anyway, I understand that dating is not ideal in Sikhism and I must mention that we are not living together, nor do we share a physical relationship. We have both spoken about this and want to get married first. He has been honest with me and mentioned that he has had physical relationships with a quite a few other woman, the problem I am dealing with is that the majority of these woman were prostitutes.

I feel that I cannot judge him for what he has done before I met him, and I can see that he is trying to make an effort to change a lot of his habits. However, in all honesty, I don't see how he can think of taking Amrit after having used prostitutes.

Ok well, I hope this makes sense, basically I want to know what the stance is on prostitution and also should he repent for what he has done?

Thank you

Edited November 28, 2013 by JourneyToSikhi

[Genie Singh]

Some Sikhs have a view taking amrit wipes away all your sins and as long as that sikh follows the mandatory rules of sikhi they have a good chance of gaining salvation. Other Sikhs view taking amrit as wiping a good portion of ones sins. But with amrit it becomes absolutely mandatory that the person marries someone who took amrit aswell. The amrit 'breaks' if they don't marry someone who took amrit.

I wouldn't blame you if you don't want to be with someone who slept around with prostitutes. Prostitution is a big no, no amongst sikhs, sikhs come from a very reserved community, to whole notion is disgraceful to ones own families integrity and reputation.

Perhaps in some way he feels he is making it all go away after taking amrit, a similar trend of repentance amongst most religions exists - where by people seek to go on big end of hedonism before turning it around to become a saint. Some people really like hearing these stories of sinners to saints. But people forget the balance of the negativity exists throughout ones life - we tend to have both qualities. Your case is unique but I guess his honesty to you is admirable.

[JourneyToSikhi]

JatherdarSahib,

Thank you for your response.

I understand that I will have to take Amrit in order for him to honour his commitment. I'm starting to fall in love with Sikhi, so it is something I will consider.

I think my thinking is too much "once a sinner, always a sinner" and maybe I need to learn forgiveness (but at the same time no wrong was done to me, so who am I to forgive). I'm not one to get taken up by these sinner to saint stories, I was shocked to my core when he revealed this to me because from the onset I thought he had lived somewhat of a clean life.

I just think that if you want to take Amrit you should be mindful of your actions even when you are younger.

I suppose I will have to see how it goes, thanks again

[Genie Singh]

JatherdarSahib,

Thank you for your response.

I understand that I will have to take Amrit in order for him to honour his commitment. I'm starting to fall in love with Sikhi, so it is something I will consider.

I think my thinking is too much "once a sinner, always a sinner" and maybe I need to learn forgiveness (but at the same time no wrong was done to me, so who am I to forgive). I'm not one to get taken up by these sinner to saint stories, I was shocked to my core when he revealed this to me because from the onset I thought he had lived somewhat of a clean life.

I just think that if you want to take Amrit you should be mindful of your actions even when you are younger.

I suppose I will have to see how it goes, thanks again

Well I don't blame you and if I was in your shoes I would have ran away by now and it's likely that I may have founded a negative impression of all Sikhs.

You got to do what's right for yourself and I guess sometimes the idea of taking amrit can come about at different ages in different ways. Hope you stick around on the forum even if you don't want to get into the sikh school of thought, i'm sure your input would be appreciated. Another thing I forgot to mention is many sikhs don't like using the word sin, since it sounds very christian and rings the bells of fire and brimestone they might like bad karma, paap, manmat (following minds desires), engrossed in maya (materialism) etc.

Edited November 29, 2013 by JatherdarSahib